Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Shinji Saotome ❯ Chapter 11 - The Devil Itself - Part 1 ( Chapter 11 )

Chapter 11 - The Devil itself

Part 1

Ranma-chan strode towards the cat café with a confident air about her. Today she would finally get her masculinity back by getting the Phoenix pill.

It had been four days since Shinji had told everyone about his origins and surprisingly the days afterwards had been relatively calm, which had allowed Ranma to train the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken almost all the time, save for the intervals when her mother came by and insisted on showing her proper etiquette and a little bit of swordplay.

True, it had annoyed the hell out of Ranma at the first day, but she had to admit it was nice to spend time with her mother again.

Even with that little distraction she had finally mastered the technique though, and had even spent another day to perfect it.

Ranma's mood darkened a bit.

The same couldn't be said for Shinji. The blue haired part-time girl hadn't been able to train nearly as much as Ranma, because nearly everyone who knew her and had heard her story had tried at one time or another to talk her out of going back if she could or to take them along for the ride. Pepper and Spice had been especially determined.

In a way Ranma was very proud of her `sister' because she didn't look like she would ever cave in. Shinji had made it perfectly clear that it was her duty and her duty alone.

Of course Ranma wasn't about to tell her that she would go with Shinji when the time came, no matter if it was her duty or not.

Ranma cleared all thoughts about the future from her mind when she arrived at her destination. Without missing a step she opened the door to enter the nearly empty restaurant.

It was later afternoon and only a few patrons were still sitting around to finish their portions or talk with one another.

Not that it really mattered, what was important was getting the Phoenix pill

"Hey old ghoul! You here?"

"Of course son-in-law", returned the answer from the kitchen "I'll be with you in a moment."

Not 20 seconds later Cologne came hobbling in on her staff.

"Now, what can I do for you son-in-law?"

Ranma smirked arrogantly.

"You could hand me the Phoenix pill right now to spare yourself the humiliation of losing it unwillingly."

Cologne simply cocked an eyebrow at the prideful youth.

"You seem very sure of yourself son-in-law. Still, I must refuse your generous offer."

The sarcasm dripping from her last words wasn't lost on Ranma, but as she did often with these things, she ignored it.

"Your loss old ghoul… Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"

Suddenly Ranma's hand shot forward to make a grab for the pill, yet Cologne easily evaded her lunge, just like she did the next hundred.

While the two battled the last patrons were quick to leave the restaurant, knowing from prior experience this could get ugly very fast.

After two minutes of fruitless struggling, Ranma stopped out of breath.

"God...dammit…why…are…you…so damn…fast!"

Cologne whacked him over the head with her cane.

"Because you're a few hundred years too young, son-in-law. I suggest you loose some of that attitude of yours. It is truly impressive for you to have learned the technique in a week, but that is no reason for you to assume you can get faster in one week than I did in three hundred years."

Suddenly Ranma was back on her feet.

"But I don't have three hundred years! I want this damn `full body cat's tongue' gone now, not when I die!"

Cologne gave Ranma a piercing look in return.

"Do not worry, child. You mastered the technique, so I will give you the pill."

Ranma made to speak but Cologne ignored it.

"But only, if you listen very closely to what I have to say."

Something in her tone told Ranma that listening and understanding what came next was a very good idea, so she forced her joy over getting the pill down and concentrated.

"All right, I'm listening."

Cologne nodded, happy to note that Ranma could be responsible if given a reason.

"As you may have already guessed Pepper and Spice have told me of Shinji's origins after coming home four days ago, and he confirmed their story two days ago. To put it simply: I'm worried. It is obvious he has every intention of getting his Unit back once it is found. It is also obvious you have every intention of going against his wish to go alone."

Ranma blinked.

"How did you know?"

"Ranma, out of all the people in Nerima you probably care the most about him. Considering that even Shampoo has decided to come with him, it is only logical you will do so as well."

"So? I where's the problem."

*Clonk*

Cologne bopped Ranma over the head once again.

"Don't interrupt. Why are you young people always so impatient? Anyway, the problem is that something as big as an EVA is bound to raise enough eyebrows, not matter who found it. That means it is almost a safe bet we will have to get involved with the military to get the EVA."

"So we're just gonna go in there and bust their nuts!"

*CLONK*

"Hey, will you stop it, that hurt!"

"Nonetheless it was necessary, because you have just proven my point! If we go up against the military it won't be a game! You must understand this! True, I believe you would have no trouble defeating up to ten armed soldiers, but if the EVA is as powerful as I think it is we're talking about hundreds of highly trained soldiers. Each and every one of them armed with weapons that, against what you may believe, can and will kill you with one hit!"

Ranma frowned.

"If you're trying to tell me to be careful, I got it. I know well enough what a bullet can do to you. So why are you telling me this?"

Cologne sighed, Ranma could be very dense when he wanted

"Because knowing alone is not enough! You are very important to Shinji, more so than anyone else, and I think we both know what would happen if you died because of your foolishness while trying to help him."

"Yeah, he would probably blame himself for it."

"Exactly. Now Ranma, I want you to promise that, should we deal with the military or any other dangerous group in the future, you will act accordingly to make sure you stay alive!"

Ranma shrugged; this was a promise he was more than willing to make.

"Very well, I promise to treat `live and death situations' occurring in the future accordingly to make sure I stay alive. Happy?"

Cologne nodded and took of the pill, which was still hanging on a necklace around her decrepit neck.

"Yes. I just hope some of what I tried to tell you got through this thick skull of yours. Here's your reward."

Ranma took the pill and swallowed it quickly. Her cure now secured the redhead looked at Cologne questioningly.

"Why are you giving me advice anyway?"

Cologne's eyes twinkled.

"Simple: I would hate for my favorite son-in-law and his brother to die while trying to safe the world. And remember my advice!"

Ranma stood up and bowed.

"No prob. Just become a little more like Shinji when I first met him."

Cologne cackled.

"An astute comparison son-in-law. Your brother has come a long way since then though."

Ranma chuckled.

"Yeah, now he doesn't think of making a fire some kind of battle anymore. Anyway, I'll be going now"

Cologne watched as Ranma stopped, the door already halfway open, and turned around.

"Thanks, by the way."

"What for?"

"For caring, granny."

With that the redhead disappeared out the door

Left alone in the empty restaurant Cologne could only manage a wistful smile.

"It seems he is not the only one who has come a long way since then, Ranma…granny...sounds a lot better than old ghoul."

**********************

Outside

Now out of Cologne's presence Ranma did the one thing she had wanted to do all along.

"I CAN BE A MAN AGAIN! LALA LALA JABADA! JUHU!..."

On the other side of the street an old man shook his head.

"Really! The youth of today has no restraint at all!"

**********************

Somewhere else

Mousse groaned when he woke up, his head felt like someone had slammed a sledgehammer into it. Shampoo was getting too strong for his own good!

Finally his awareness returned enough to realize he was lying in a soft bed, not in a 3 foot deep crater of his own making somewhere in Tokyo.

`What the hell!'

He heard the door open and sat up.

"Oh I see you're awake! That's nice to know. We can begin your treatment now."

Missing his glasses Mousse couldn't make out anything, but the voice sounded strange. It sounded female, but it had a strange screeching quality to it.

Deciding that he would at least like to se his host Mousse pulled out his spare-glasses from…somewhere and put them.

He got one look at his host and could only say one thing

"……momy……"

Then he proceeded to pass out promptly.

The man standing in the doorway tried to pout cutely, an effect that was totally ruined by his missing teeth, the scar on his left temple and his unshaven beard.

"puh…I even put on my darling pink tutu for you and you pass out on me like that. That's no way to treat your new master. Oh well, we can always discipline you later my stud muffin!"

Having said what he came to say the overweight gay dominatrix in pink tutu left the room happily swinging his whip.

**********************

The next day

Shinji cursed she rotten luck as she tried desperately to look at anything but the bunch of half naked girls that was currently sharing the changing room with her. Trying to be unsuspicious was made almost impossible by the fact that every instinct was telling her to goggle like this was her last day alive

While she changed into her own sportswear Shinji imagined what would happen if the school found out about his curse now and shuddered…he would be very lucky to be alive afterwards.

Just then the girl next to her unhooked her bra

`Scratch that, I'll be dead for sure'

Nonetheless Shinji guessed it could be worse, she didn't know how, but she was sure it was possible.

"AAAHHHH take it off! Take it off! TAKEITOFF!"

Shinji's head snapped up only to see what looked like a wrinkled old gnome groping some girl's chest. Said girl, Shinji thought her name was Naomi, was beating on the pervert with both hands without effect.

The only positive about that was that the gnome was just enough to cover Naomi's generous and unclothed bust, thus keeping Shinji from going totally brain dead.

That enabled her to rush forward and act on her first impulse, namely planting a full power punch on top of the gome's head.

Unfortunately the only lasting affect was a short grunt the pervert gave when he hit the floor only to attach himself to her own breasts.

"Hotcha! You're a lively one eh? That was quite a punch missy, but you can make it up to me by letting an old man snuggle with you."

The gnome looked up at Shinji's face when a low growl issued from her throat and noted the icy look she gave him.

"Something the matter, sweeto? Anything old Happosai can do to make it better?"

"Let go!"

Happosai found himself in the process of loosening his `hug' before he even realized it ,so commanding was her voice, yet he stopped the last moment.

The Grandmaster of the Anything Goes School wasn't about to be ordered around by a mere slip of a girl after all.

"Sorry sweeto, but I don't wanna leave those nice pillows!"

Shinji's fist clenched.

"DIE PERVERT!"

The next moment Happosai was dodging all over the place as Shinji tried to visit mortal harm upon his body.

"Hey now easy, that's now reason to go down the deep end girl!"

"No reason?! NO REASON?! FIRST I AM FORCED TO RUN AROUND LIKE THIS FOR A WEEK!"

Jump over punch.

"I don't see anything wrong with that!"

"THEN I'M FORCED TO GO SHOPPING FOR GIRL'S CLOTHES!"

Duck under kick

"Well, of course, you have to show that body of yours after all."

"AND TO TOP IT OFF YOU GROPED ME!"

Block another punch.

"Nothing wrong with a good groping!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I THINK OF YOUR GROPING!"

By now the two fighters had left the changing room per reducing the door to splinters and Shinji was racing after Happosai .

Now that she was out in the open and the chance of hitting someone else was pretty much reduced to nothing Shinji cut loose with everything she had.

Standing at the lockerroom window the girls were cheering her on with cries of `kill the pervert' and `kick his ass'.

Happosai simply increased his speed accordingly to keep avoiding her strikes, but raised an eyebrow in interest. The girl was clearly using the Anything Goes style, his school!

"You know girl, you have good speed and decent strength, but your form is simply horrible!"

Duck a straight punch.

"That punch was overextended!"

Redirect the follow up.

"I saw that one coming a mile away!"

Reverse grip and throw the girl with the pipe.

*CRASH*

"Come on girl! I can't have you dragging the Anything Goes through the mud like that!"

Shinji took a calming breath after standing up and rubbing her smarting head. She realized her opponent was goading her on, a tactic Ranma and especially Genma used often in training. Normally she wouldn't react to any kind of insult, but as enraged as she already was it was tempting to rise to the bait. Nonetheless she forced her anger down and instead concentrated on the task at hand, namely kicking the gnome's ass.

Of course, the fact that she was breathing like she had run two days straight while the gnome didn't show any kind of tiring indicated that hell was more likely to freeze over than her defeating him.

"Alright you …mister, what the hell do you think you're doing, going around and molesting people?! I could have you apprehended for that!"

Happosai cackled.

"Girl, the police man who can apprehend me has yet to be born."

Shinji shuddered. This cackle had sounded a lot like Cologne's, not surprising, considering both of them looked about the same age.

"That's still no reason for you to behave like that. Who asked you about my martial arts ability anyway?!"

Happosai waggled a finger at her.

"The real question is: Who thought you Anything Goes without the Grandmaster knowing about it?"

Shinji looked at the gnome closely. The posture, the twinkling in his eyes…surely he couldn't mean…or could he?

"You're the Grandmaster??"

"Yeah, that's me, good ol Happosai!"

*CRASH*

After recovering from her earth shattering face fault, which added another lump to her already bruised head, Shinji glared daggers at Happosai.

"You've got to be kidding me! There's no way a little pervert like you could be Grandmaster of the Anything Goes Style!"

Suddenly the wrinkled gnome turned serious.

"That's no way to talk to your elders! Now tell me, who has taught you?"

Surprised by the change of attitude Shinji answered without thinking about it.

"Genma and Ranma."

The old mans eyes lit up.

"Genma and Ranma are here?! "

"Uhm...yeah. they're staying at the Tendos"

Happosai suddenly got an evil glint in his eyes.

"Good…I need to pay a visit to my ungrateful students and after that I'll check out if Genma did a good job training Ranma! OH! Nearly forgot. I think you should find something to cover that up. I think those boys over there are almost ready to `choke the chicken' right in front of you."

With that he jumped over the wall surrounding the school and vanished.

Shinji blinked.

`What the hell was he talking about?'

Then she looked down to see her _bare_ bust.

`Hey wait a moment...I clearly remember having a bra on when Happosai...came…in…'

Needless to say it didn't take much effort to figure out who had removed her bra.

"OK THAT MEANS WAR PERVERT!"

Over on the track field several boys pissed their pants, so scary was Shinji's bellowing voice.

Others, who had long since stopped hearing and were only watching, suffered from violent nosebleeds as Shinji shaking her fist to the heavens did interesting things to certain parts of her anatomy.

Ranma, who had followed the fight from his seat next to the window, could only shake his head. He had seen the confrontation but had decided not to interfere until the gnome got violent.

Now he could only pity the poor fool. Ranma could honestly say he had never ever seen Shinji this angry at anybody...even though he supposed it was stress induced; Shopping with his mother had been hell, after all.

*********************

Several blocks away Happosai felt a chill running down his spine, something that hadn't happened in decades.

He only grinned.

`I have a feeling I'll like it around here.'

*********************

At the same time

Genma and Soun also felt a chill running down their respective spines, or what passed for theirs anyway.

Unlike Happosai the reason for their sense of foreboding was different…as was their reaction:

"OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO DIE SAOTOME!"

*splash*

`I'm just a cute little Panda; surely no one will hurt me!'

A dead Panda impacted the front porch. (1)

Genma started whimpering

********************

The same day, after school

Akane, Ranma, Shinji and Ryuoga were walking home. In Shinji's case it was more like stalking though.

Both Akane and Ryuoga hadn't seen Shinji's earlier confrontation with Happosai because Akane, unlike Ranma, had been concentrating on the lesson and Ryuoga had once again been lost. It was clear the lost boy was getting better though, now he never disappeared for longer then 2 days at the most. Of course, considering he got lost every second day that meant he was only in Nerima half the time.

Seeing the calculating expression on Shinji's face made Ryuoga wish very much to get lost again with Akane gladly following him. Both had been told what happened and were pretty wary of this new unknown, knowing that he had to be a serious pain in the ass to get under Shinji's skin like that.

A few minutes later the small group arrived only to find Genma and Soun cowering in a corner of the living room.

"Daddy? Mr. Saotome? What happened?"

The quivering piece of flesh that was Soun Tendo looked at his youngest daughter with haunted eyes.

"He is back. The master is back. OH MY POOR BABY!!" As Soun proceeded with excessive use of wail #573(please shoot me, the master is back) and wail #574(my family is doomed to be fondled) the youths in the room looked at each other.

"Wow, this Happosai has to be a real nightmare. I can't remember seeing pops this cowed ever." Ranma said very perplexed.

Shinji nodded his head.

"I told you he was the devil itself."

At that moment Kasumi came out of the kitchen, tranquil smile as perfect as ever.

"Now Shinji, it is not nice to talk about grandfather like that. He was very courteous while being here and I offered him a place to sleep for the duration of his stay because he is the Grandmaster of our style."

Shinji left eye started twitching and Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Do you really think that was a good idea Kasumi? From what I have seen of him he is a little pest."

"Whatever do you mean Ranma-kun?" Kasumi asked, now a little unsure of herself.

"There you are Ranma my boy, let's see what you got!"

*SPLASH*

"SWEETO!"

While Happosai proceeded to snuggle in Ranma-chan's bosom, Kasumi frowned.

"Never mind Ranma-kun, I know what you mean."

Ranma didn't answer, the only sign of life her twitching eye, which complemented Shinji's very nicely.

Akane gave Happosai a disgusted look.

"Why are you calling that …thing grandfather? He isn't really our grandfather, is he?"

"No, he merely wants us to call him that little sister."

Akane sighed.

"Good, I couldn't have lived with myself if I was related to an ugly pervert like that."

*glomp*

"Now Akane-chan, that is no way to talk about your dear grandfather, is it?"

It seemed Happosai had gotten bored with Ranma and was now kneading Akane's bosom with vigor.

Akane hated being touched without permission

Ryuoga didn't mind a pervert fondling Ranma or Shinji in female form, they were boys normally, after all. A real girl was another matter though.

Two more eyes started twitching.

Four mouths uttered the same phrase:

"Die, Happosai!"

The next moment the youths vanished out the door, all of them intent on paying back one grandmaster of Anything Goes who was currently sweating bullets.

`The youth today…no sense of humor at all!'

In the background Genma and Sound had stopped whimpering and were cheering on the children.

********************

The next day

Shinji was walking to school together with Nabiki. Because Nabiki was still doing some of her business at school she always started a little earlier to school, which meant the others weren't with them.

The walk was very awkward, but Shinji was determined to set things straight with the girl. Ever since their `almost-but-not-quite-kiss' they had avoided each other and Shinji didn't like that one bit. Nabiki was fun to be around, after all.

She was still gathering her courage, when Nabiki spoke the first words ever since they had left for school.

"Hey Shinji, about that kiss…don't think too much about it. I like you and all, but I simply lost my cool back there. It was nothing serious."

Shinji wanted to simply accept her explanation. It would have been the easiest course of action. She did have three quasi fiancées to worry about, after all.

Yet…wouldn't she just be running away again? She knew the kiss she had been about to share with Nabiki was the most serious so far. Ignoring something like that was sure to come back and bite her in the ass later on. This needed to be solved now!

"Nabiki…we both know that isn't true. I like you as well and I know you good enough to say that you would never kiss someone unless you were 100 percent sure about it."

"You know that's bullshit Shinji, everyone makes mistakes every now and then, even me"

Shinji winced at the crude language and tried to keep her hammering heart in check, this wasn't going at all like she wanted.

"That wasn't a mistake Nabiki. Ignoring what has happened would be a mistake."

Nabiki stopped and whirled around to face Shinji fully; her composure pretty much gone now.

"God dammit, don't be an idiot Shinji! You have three quasi fiancées to choose from, not to mention that you're not even from this world. It would never work out with the two of us!"

Shinji forced her instincts, which were screaming at her that it was enough, down and gripped Nabiki's shoulders.

"Nabiki…look, I didn't say I want you to become my girlfriend or anything. I want you to be my friend, like you have been before the kiss…if anything else happens that's all the better, but not necessary. OK? Can you live with that?"

Shinji felt like a load the size of a small mountain was lifted of her back when Nabiki gave her a crooked smile after several moments.

"I…would like that very much Shinji-kun. But don't you think you can get me and one of your fiancées into the sack together this way!"

Shinji's eyes nearly popped out of her head at Nabiki's suggestion.

"I…what…I would never…"

Nabiki chuckled.

`He may have had the balls to talk to me, but he was still so irresistible naive about some things.'

"Relax Shinji-kun, I was only joking around."

Shinji pouted.

"Not very funny! I nearly had a heart attack."

With a lighter mood the two continued walking and Nabiki once again broke the silence.

"Say Shinji-kun, your book-bag looks like it will burst open any moment now. What do you have in there?

Shinji smiled innocently.

"A bunch of bras and panties as well as some negligees."

"Oh, that's goo……YOU WHAT?!"

"Gee, you don't have to scream my ear of, Nabiki!"

"Sorry, but what the hell do you need that for. Are you some kind of pervert? Where did you get them anyway?"

Shinji's innocent smile turned a little more sinister

"Don't worry; I begged one of my classmates, whose mother owns a lingerie shop, if I could borrow them."

Nabiki blinked.

"And she gave them to you?"

Shinji's smile turned even more sinister, scaring a cat that was running on the other side of the street.

"Yes, after I told her what I would use them for she had practically tried to force the whole shop on me."

Nabiki tried her best not to strangle Shinji. The part-time girl knew how to keep you waiting.

"And what will you use them for?"

Shinji's smile suddenly turned innocent once more.

"Why, revenge of course! Grandfather Happosai is so going to love my present for him!"(2)

Nabiki shuddered when she saw the glint in Shinji's eyes and decided she didn't want to know what her friend had planned.

*******************

Same day, 4:55

Shinji steeled herself as she opened the door to the storage room of the school gym.

Stepping inside she smiled as she saw the weapons that would be vital to her revenge:

They were old, they were ugly, they were over 60, they were the senior members of the all-female Ranma Saotome fan club…and they had been called here by Shinji.

"Okay ladies. Remember, you are doing Ranma a huge favour with this. He will be always thankful for it."

With that she upended her book bag, dropping most of the contents on the floor.

"Wear what you want out of this pile and nothing else. You have three minutes to get ready."

The next moment Shinji was out the door, leaving the old crones to stare at each other.

"For Ranma!" One of them shouted in a voice that made you want to crawl under a rock and die. The next moment the bunch of grannies was busy shedding their clothes for something else.

Outside Shinji shuddered as she waited for Happosai to arrive.

`I'm evil.'

On a nearby roof Happosai reread the letter in his hand.

"Master Happosai.

Please meet me in the storage room at 5:00 today.

I have something important to discuss with you

Your pupil,

Shinji Saotome"

The ancient pervert was a little disappointed. The boy had been very fast to bow before him, considering how angry he had been the day before. Nonetheless it seemed pretty important, so he was here.

A few bound brought him in front of the storage room where he promptly opened the door and stepped in.

The next moment Shinji shot forth from her hiding place in a nearby bush, slammed the door shut, locked it and proceeded to drag a conveniently placed slab of concrete in front of it.

*******************

Inside

Happosai stared, and stared, and stared. His eyes darted in every direction.

There was lingerie everywhere…lingerie worn by old ugly crones. (3)

One of them stepped forward.

"Do you want to play with us little man?"

Happosai did the only thing he could think of in such a horror scenario.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

*****************

Outside

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Shinji whistled happily as she heard Happosai's tortured screams and looked at her watch.

It was one minute after five.

She would let him out after dinner, which should be around seven.

*******************

After dinner

The whole household watched in wonder as Shinji came back. She had disappeared after dinner, saying she had to take care of something, only to return with the seemingly dead husk that was Happosai's body.

The blue head dropped him to the floor casually and smiled.

"That should teach him I think."

Everyone looked from Happosai's whimpering form to the satisfied looking Shinji and swallowed.

"We don't want to know."

********************

Ukyo Kuonji, still clad in her male garb, smiled as she looked at her new restaurant, the Ucchan's.

It had been surprisingly easy to acquire and the way things were going she could probably open it sometime next week.

After the crazy day she had when finally finding Ranma Saotome again had shown her one thing: The Nerimians were a very interesting, if very crazy bunch.

Originally she had planned on beating Genma and Ranma within an inch of their life, but after Ranma had told her how it looked from his perspective she was content to leave him…her...whatever alone and beat up Genma a few more times instead. The one time she had already done so had been very satisfying.

Now she was pondering what to do with Ranma. She didn't want to kill him anymore, but being his fiancée wasn't an option either right now. Their first meeting had been a little too crazy for that. Getting a real friend again, that was what she was really looking forward to.

She just hoped she would be able to deal with all the craziness around her weird childhood friend and his seemingly even weirder brother.

Of course, that didn't mean being Ranma's fiancée was totally out of the question.

He was a total hunk after all…

End Chapter 11 Part 1

*********************

(1) Murphy's Law; where the panda came from isn't really important

(2) Simple: Shinji's classmate=girl, girl+ Happosai=groped girl=girl that is all too willing to help Shinji in his quest for revenge. Make sense?

(3) I know its evil, but you have to cut Shinji some slack…he is under a lot of stress. *g*

And now beware the OMAKE provided by NuStrike:

Let's take a look at another possible outcome of the locker room scene with Shinji and old

Happi…

Shinji was perplexed to find the perverted growth that she was attempting to forcibly remove

from Naomi's chest now resting on her own. One might say that it was resting comfortably

there, but Shinji would forcefully deny that claim; she didn't find it comfortable in the least.

Forcing the perverted thing from another dimension off her body, Shinji somehow managed

to fight Happosai towards the exit of the building and into the schoolyard. Unfortunately for

her, the old letch took the chance to reacquaint himself with her chest.

***

At the same time on an aircraft carrier in Tokyo bay, a rather large purple monster woke up

and realized something important to the soul inside itself. `Shinji's in trouble… He needs my

help!'

Evangelion Unit 01, what would later be described as the Devil itself by many JSSDF troops,

stood up and ran towards its destination: Funrinken High School. It found itself more than a

little surprised by the sight that greeted it upon arrival. `That's Shinji! But he's a girl! …and

someone's groping him. NOBODY GROPES MY CHILD!!'

It is said that an angered mother is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. That's a

bit of an understatement when it comes to Yui Ikari.

***

Happosai got off the blue haired girl's bust as he felt a massive crash behind him. Looking

up, and up…and up, he was greeted with the sight of a 150 foot tall demonic purple

biomecha.

He spoke in a rather small voice. "Uhh…what's that?"

Behind him, Shinji was also quiet in her words. "That's my…mother. I don't think she's

happy with you at the moment."

The aged pervert stood there in thought for a moment. While he had encountered angered

mothers in the past, he had never met one this imposing…or this damned big. He just hoped

that his escape technique would work on this one.

"SWEETO!!"

It's hard to say who watching was the most surprised to see the perverted midget leaping to

grope the Eva's chest. One can only guess how angry Yui was by the fact that her eyes

flashed brightly and her jaw cracked open loudly.

***

In the distance, Ranma's friends Hiroshi and Daisuke watched in awe at what was happening.

"Hey `roshi, you got any idea on why that big robot's scraping its chest against the school?"

"No idea… Wait, now it's punching at something on the ground. Geeze…look at that crater

it's making."

"Ouch…and now it's slamming that old school bus into the crater too."