Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Shinji Saotome ❯ Chapter 11 - The Devil Itself - Part 2 ( Chapter 12 )

Chapter 11 - The Devil Itself

Part 2

Nodoka Saotome was walking down the street with a spring in her step. She had been reunited with her family at long last and was even pleasantly surprised by the newest addition to the Saotome family register. The fact that she could now pass on her teachings to two sons…or two daughters had something to do with that. Accepting Shinji as part of the family had come easily to her, even more so after she learned that Shinji was a very capable cook. All in all she was very happy, even if it took nearly a full day of discussion until the boys had been willing to touch a bokken to practice with the wooden sword

The same couldn't be said for the girls walking behind Nodoka. In fact, Shinji and Ranma Saotome, or Rei and Ranko as their female forms were to be called in public, were the very definition of sullen at the moment. Walking around in skirts and frilly white blouses complete with lace bra and panties underneath was _not_ their idea of fun.

"I still don't see why we have to do this, Mom." Ranko complained for the hundredth time that hour.

"Because, my dear, as a woman it is sometimes far easier to win a battle by outsmarting your opponent instead of pounding him to paste. For that you will need to know how to use your womanly charms"

Ranko and Rei cringed. That sounded disturbing.

"Still, didn't you want Ranma to be manly?" Rei asked, hoping to stop their suffering.

"Of course, but that was before I knew he can turn into a wonderful young lady. It wouldn't do to ignore that side of his body."

The two young ladies shuddered again, both wondering how far Nodoka wanted to take this.

Suddenly they bumped into her backside. They looked up to see her smiling face.

"I have an idea. The two of you seem so against this idea that we will make a little deal." She pointed to the ice-cream parlor they were standing in front of." If you manage to get an ice-cream for free we will stop this. If not, you will stop complaining. All right?"

Both girls grinned. This was going to be easy.

"Sure!"

*Woosh*

The next moment they had disappeared inside.

Nodoka blinked, they could be very enthusiastic when they wanted to.

Several minutes later they came out again, each girl carrying a three feet high ice-cream cone in hand. They smiled brightly.

"That was easy Mom/Mother"

.

Nodoka blinked again and walked into the parlor. There was no way they could have gotten that much!

She opened the door and stared. Several patrons were out cold in their seats, drool running down their chins while their girlfriends tried valiantly to revive them. The young man behind the counter was in lalala-land as well and mumbled `I will do anything for my angel' over and over until he toppled over.

Nodoka sweat dropped

`Okay…maybe these two don't need any lessons on how to manipulate men….'

Outside Shinji and Ranma contently licked their ice-cream.

"That ought to have convinced her."

"Yeah, what did ya tell that guy behind the counter anyway? The way he was getting red I woulda thought his head would burst!"

Shinji shrugged. Living with a `sex-fiend' like Misato, as Ritsuko had once called her, had proven very useful concerning his fantasy in such things…Misato could be very graphic once she was plastered.

"Let's just say it involved him, us and a lot of whipped cream."

Ranma looked horrified.

"Ewwwww, that's sick!"

Shinji shrugged.

"True, but it worked."

At that moment Nodoka came out again.

"You did quite a number on those poor guys in there, girls. I suppose there isn't anything I could teach you about manipulating males. We'll just go home and train some more with the katana."

The girls cheered and followed her as she walked towards the Saotome residence.

While walking Shinji briefly wondered why NERV had been dumb enough to build progressive knifes instead of a kick ass katana for the EVAs, which would have had a lot more reach.

*********************

Ritsuko Akagi hummed happily while stuffing one of her cats into a butt ugly red dress that was designed for cats.

"Aren't you cute my little one?"

A closer inspection of the room showed it filled to the ceiling with crates that had inscriptions like `cat dress - blue' or `cat bra 2014 - trim decorated with rubies'.

Ritsuko smiled, investing the funds originally planned for the building of several progressive katanas into this little collection had been worth it and she was sure nobody had noticed yet.

Then she sneezed.

`...okay, so maybe someone has.'

**********************

Kasumi slammed `Laws of the Amazon Village of Jusenkyo, first Japanese edition' shut in disgust. She had read through the whole thing twice and still hadn't found a loophole that would allow Shampoo not to marry Ranma without losing face.

Oh sure, it was possible to get Ranma away from Shampoo, but all of them would leave a bitter aftertaste in someone's life.

For example, if she could find a fighter to defeat Ranma in a fight for Shampoos hand the Amazon would have to marry him instead of Ranma. The problem was to find someone who would be willing to be Shampoo's husband and whom Shampoo liked as well. Kasumi wouldn't make two people miserable just so she could have Ranma, so this had a snowballs chance in hell of working as a possible way out.

Another possibility was for Ranma to beat Shampoo up without reason. That would nullify their marriage but it would also cause Ranma to be hunted and killed. Living on the run from Amazons wasn't Kasumi's idea of a perfect live and she detested violence anyway. Another chance ruled out.

Every other law was equally gruesome or even more so.

Looking at the worn cover of the book Kasumi sighed. There was always that one possibility, it wasn't what she wanted, but she supposed she could live with it.

A glance at the clock revealed it was time to start dinner and Kasumi stretched out to get the kinks out of her back. On her way to the door Kasumi gave the book one last glare and said something very unKasumi-like.

"I hate Amazon law."

************************

The Tendos were having dinner and the Saotomes together with their newest addition: Happosai.

It had been a week since the perverted grandmaster had shown up and by now everybody had adapted to his presence best as possible.

Meaning, Genma and Soun kept grovelling non-stop in his presence, Nabiki and Kasumi simply ignored him, Akane bashed him whenever he came close and Shinji and Ranma were orchestrating elaborate schemes to get rid of the pervert if they weren't training, sleeping or eating.

Happosai had also established several rules for himself:

Never grope Kasumi, that would be like killing god and pissing on his grave

Never grope Nabiki either. He had a feeling that girl would call in a few favours and call in the military to get back at him

Grope and annoy Ranma as often as possible. It was nice and always a good workout

Grope and annoy Shinji as often as possible as well. It was nice, the boy could use the training and he deserved it after the stunt he had pulled with those ugly crones. Note: Don't overdo it; the boy has a sadistic streak a mile wide.

Scaring the shit out of Genma and Soun was as easy as ever and still as much fun

Grope Akane whenever you want, the girl needed to loosen up

Admittedly Happosai's rules were a bit one sided, but what else did you expect?

Not that the wrinkled pervert saw it like that, mind you.

For once though, his mind wasn't occupied with various parts of the female anatomy or lingerie. Right now he was trying to find out what was going on.

Over the last week he had learned that Shinji was an ideal partner for verbal sparring if properly motivated, because he wasn't as easily side-tracked as Ranma, or as ruthless as Nabiki.

Then Happi remembered the day after they had met and shuddered.

He had to make sure to NEVER EVER get the boy that pissed again. That stunt with the ugly old hags was downright evil! He hadn't been able to even look at any lingerie without getting nightmares for two days!

But he was getting off track again. The problem was, during the times he had spoken with Shinji it had been clear the boy was hiding something. Not just him though, everybody was.

And it wasn't something `sorry-I-burned-down-your-house-like', it was more a `you're-not-gonna-believe-this-but-aliens-are-invading-earth-and-your-whole -family-has-to-fight-them-like'. In other words, it was big and Shinji was at the center of it.

Several times the past few days he had come into a room, only for all conversation to stop abruptly…it was unnerving to say the least. Whenever he was around an underlying tension was felt and he was getting sick of it.

He would have tried listening in on several conversation to get the info he wanted, but Cologne had informed him in no uncertain terms that he should wait until Shinji deemed him trustworthy enough to tell him what was going on.

That alone would have been reason enough to eavesdrop for all he was worth, but Cologne had also told him clearly that he would find himself back in his cave faster than he could say sorry if he did…it was a threat she could undoubtedly back up.

Why she was defending the boy was beyond him though, it seemed the old crone had grown a heart in her old age.

On the other end of the table Shinji contemplated the old man. After their first meeting he had been mad as hell at Happi, but as usual that hadn't lasted for long. He wasn't a person that could stay angry for any length of time. Nonetheless he had felt it necessary to carry out his revenge simply to show Happosai what he thought of his actions. Ever since then the two of them had gotten along as well as could be expected from an ancient pervert and a sex-changing teenager: They were annoying the hell out of each other

To Shinji it looked like he had the upper hand right now.

Happi knew something was going on and he didn't have a clue what it was, something that Shinji loved to rub that in his face.

And he wasn't planning on telling the pervert anytime soon. It was bad enough everyone else already knew about what was going on. He did not need another person trying to butt in when EVA was finally found.

Of course, as always with that kind of thing Shinji's attempt to keep Happi in the dark was doomed to failure.

The local TV-set demonstrated that fact proudly when the news came on:

"Over the last weeks high political circles have declined the existence of a special military operation repeatedly, yet a large aerial zone of over 30 miles in diameter around the only Japanese aircraft carrier `Eden' has been declared off limits for all non-military aircrafts.

Even through this restriction one of our reporters has managed to obtain the following video-clip showing the cargo that was stored on the Eden when she reached harbour near the city Koschidu twelve hours ago."

The next moment the TV showed a close up of a huge purple face from which a horn was protruding. Any more features couldn't be made out. The camera rotated to the right to travel down the length of what was obviously a monstrous arm on which the letters `UNIT-01' were displayed proudly, followed by the hand.

Any more couldn't be seen because it was dark under the huge tarpaulin and the clip suddenly ended and the spokesperson was once again seen.

"The only information we managed to obtain is that the cargo you have just seen is to be stored in a military facility on Hokkaido for research. Now on to the other news…."

As the TV droned on about unimportant news Shinji started choking on the rice-ball she had been in the process of eating. Everyone else simply blinked a few times *squeegy-squeegy*.

Save for Genma of course, he was too busy inhaling his food, and Happosai, who was totally lost now.

After several seconds of listening to Shinji's choking Ranma slapped her on the back.

"Thanks Ranma!"

"No problem bro! I gotta say though, finding that robot of yours has been very easy!"

"Yeah. And what an ugly thing it is. You weren't kidding when you said it didn't look very nice." Said a still very surprised (or is that repulsed?) Nabiki.

Akane nodded.

"Nabiki's right. Whose idea was it anyway to paint it purple? Like that thing isn't freaky enough without a horrible paint-job."

*cough cough*

All eyes turned to the diminutive pervert sitting on the table.

"Normally I would respect your privacy, but whatever is going on it's obvious that ugly robot or whatever it was as well as the military are now involved. That changes things. So as the Grandmaster of Anything Goes I want to know what is going on here, now!"

Shinji hid her face behind her hands and groaned. This was not the way she had wanted this to go, but his secret was almost out in the open now anyway and Happosai looked very serious about this so she might as well tell it all.

Dropping her hands in front of her mouth, Shinji subconsciously assumed the Gendo pose, seated variation with death glare. If she were wearing glasses, odds are that there would have been a flash of light from them.

To his credit the ancient pervert only twitched once as any outwards sign of the glare.

"All right, I'll tell you what is going on, but mark my words, if you try anything out of line concerning what I tell you now, the little stunt I pulled 6 days ago will seem like heaven."

Happosai noted the bead of sweat rolling down his temple and swallowed.

`For a slip of a girl that is supposedly a slip of a boy Shinji can be very scary! I have to learn how he does that!'

"Very well. I promise. Now please tell me what's going on."

********************

Later

"…And after that we came here. That's about it."

After Shinji finished talking Happosai nodded his head thoughtfully.

"Well, seeing how that purple ugly thing on TV isn't explained away that easily I'm ready to believe you. The question is, what do you want to do now?"

"Go in there, bust a few heads and get Unit 01 out, of course!" Ranma said with his usual arrogance.

Happosai cocked an eyebrow at the youth.

"Oh, is that so? Even if you should survive going in, how do you plan on getting a few thousand tons of steel out of there?"

Nabiki, who was still there along with her sisters, shrugged.

"Well, On the way out Shinji could simply pilot the thing. First he would have to get there though."

"But where can we hide such a huge robot Nabiki?" Asked an obviously very interested Kasumi

Nabiki rubbed her chin.

"Point taken sis. Hiding something that big is impossible."

"Uhm...actually getting the EVA out won't be that easy, unless we're lucky." Shinji said nervously.

Ranma slapped his forehead.

"Of course! When we first met you said something about the EVA being low on power! It doesn't have any, right?" (1)

Shinji sighed.

"Yeah. Unless the military manages to figure out how to power the EVA our chances of getting it out there are nil. We may be lucky though, when I was swallowed by the angel my power cable was stuck with me, or part of it. That means all they need is a power source to attach it to. In Tokyo 3 we had several Fusion reactors under the city to power the city, the EVAs and some other towns as well. For a single EVA one nuclear reactor would probably be enough."

Akane clapped her hands.

"So? Problem solved isn't it? I'm sure they can find a simple nuclear reactor to feed that ugly purple robot of yours. We'll just have to wait until they do and bust in then."

Happosai regarded the girl thoughtfully.

"What do you think Shinji?"

"First off, there is no `we'. I appreciate your help, but I have to go in there alone. It's too dangerous for others to come with me! Aside from that, I still need a way to go home immediately after I get the EVA."

Happosai frowned.

"Now listen here you little pub! You'll stop this nonsense now! We are going with you, end of discussion. We're dealing with the military here and while you can hold your own against a few bullies without problems, there is no chance in hell you would survive infiltrating a military base at your current level. Even your cocky brother has a good chance of dying in such an endeavour. We'll have to make a list of everybody who wants to come with you, but at first I have some good news for you: I might just have the thing for you to get you to your own world."

Shinji looked at Happosai with puppy dog eyes, quite a feat considering she wasn't a real girl

"Would you tell me what it is if I still want to go alone?"

Happi gave Shinji an innocent smile.

"No."

The girl deflated immediately.

"OK, OK. Everyone who is willing may come with me when I try to take my EVA back: But that's it! I'm going back to my world alone!"

Happosai patted the girl's shoulder affectionately, something made possible by the fact that she was sitting and he stood on the table.

"That's my boy…or girl…whatever." 'Not that your friends will really stop there though…'

The Grandmaster then struck a righteous pose and drew out a mirror from …nowhere.

"Now, behold the answer to your prayers: The legendary Nanban-mirror. All you have to do is shed a tear onto it and think of where you want to be and *whoosh* you are there."

Everyone stared until Kasumi stated the obvious.

"That sounds a little too easy grandfather."

The wrinkled pervert deflated slightly.

"Yeah it is. What I told you is how the mirror works in theory. I tried it and it worked great. It not only transports the one who shed the tear but also everyone who is in contact with him or her as well as their clothing and package. The problem is I doubt a multi megaton robot would count as package."

Nabiki frowned.

"That's not very reassuring. We can't just storm in there hoping the mirror will work with the EVA like it does with normal clothing."

Happosai deflated even more.

"I know, but that is a risk we have to take. I'm 300 years old and I haven't heard of any other way to cross dimensions yet, so this is probably our only chance. Finding something else could take years, which is a lot longer than those military apes should have the EVA. We will just have to hope for the best."

Shinji opened his mouth to speak…but kept quite the last moment. It didn't really matter if he told them the EVA was made out of flesh underneath its armor because they had to decide what to do once they arrived at that point and he saw no point in telling them even more horror stories than he already had. God knows it was enough that he was plagued by nightmares about EVA, the others did not need to know.

Nabiki had seen Shinji's attempt to speak only to keep quiet but didn't comment on it.

She filed it away for later thought and continued on with the conversation.

"Okay, let's assume this would work, what else is there to think about. We could go in there right now and be done with this business."

Happosai gave Nabiki a look that said `Are you out of your mind?'

"Nabiki-chan, I would have thought you of all people had more sense than that. The most important component is still missing."

Nabiki folded her arms over her chest.

"And that would be?"

"Training; Lots and lots of training. Before I allow anyone of you even near the facility that holds Unit 01 I want to be sure no one dies, not from us and not from the military. They are not our enemy after all, merely misguided obstacles. That reminds me. GENMA! STOP PLAYING SHOGI AND GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!"

*Woosh*

"Yes, master? What may I do for you master? Can I help you master?"

Happosai scoffed at the wimp he called his student, who was currently using the `crouching tiger' pose to full effect, namely making oneself pathetic.

"Get to your feet Genma."

The other man stood straight the next instant.

"That's better now, if I remember correctly; you have this nice technique called Umisenken."

Genma nodded slowly, now a little put off why Happosai would mention his secret techniques.

"Yes, I have sealed them for over ten years. You know that master."

"I want you to train Ranma and Shinji in their use whenever you can!"

Everyone present watched a startling transformation as Genma drew himself up to his full height, and aura of pure will surrounding him.

"I have sealed these techniques for a reason master. I cannot teach them anyone else."

This time Happosai drew himself up to his full height, which wasn't very impressive.

"IF THE NAME OF OUR SCHOOL IS WORTH EVEN AN OUNCE TO YOU; YOU WILL TEACH THESE TWO GEANM SAOTOME! IS THAT CLEAR!"

The ki enhanced booming voice he used was, though.

Even more impressive was the fact that Genma wasn't reduced to a blabbering idiot.

He stood as proudly as before.

"Very well, if you feel the need to bring our school into this it has to be very important. I will teach them."

Everyone blinked. They were doing that an awful lot today.

"You mean you don't know?" Asked a bewildered Nabiki.

"What?"

"That Unit 01 was on the news while we were having dinner and we have somewhat of a plan to get it back?"

"uhm…no?"

*CRASH*

After everyone picked themselves up Happosai glared at Genma.

"For a student of mine you can be very dense Genma. The purple robot was on the news while we were having dinner and Shinji talked to me about it afterwards while you were still in the room. You should have noticed something!"

Genma swallowed.

"…sorry?..."

"Just go away and play some more shogi and don't forget what I want you to do!"

As Genma left the room to waste some more time Ranma grabbed Shinji in a bear hug

"Do you know what that means? New techniques! And the way pops was acting very powerful ones as well! I can't wait until tomorrow. That reminds me, we have some sparring to do. Come on."

While Ranma dragged her out of the room Shinji sighed heavily.

`Great, even more training …… I'm not gonna survive this, I just know it'

Once the boys had left Nabiki gave Happosai a curious look.

"Why did you ask him to train only those two?"

Happi shrugged.

"Even I know that Genma would have never accepted training anyone in these techniques, not from his own family. There is a reason he has them sealed after all. Now, what am I gonna do with the three of you?"

Akane frowned, her hand already twitching for her mallet.

"Don't touch me or my sisters you pervert."

Happosai rolled his eyes.

"You need to loosen up girl. All I want to know is, where do you stand in all of this? Do you want to go with us when we take that facility down?"

Akane nodded.

"Of course I want to! I'm a martial artist, too!"

Nabiki and Kasumi weren't as fast in answering.

"We will think about it gramps/grandfather."

Happosai nodded.

"That's all I can ask. I want your decision in one week. Anything later and you won't go with us. As for you Akane-chan, I will see you tomorrow at six o'clock for our first training session. Now if you will excuse me."

The next moment he was gone, leaving a very perplexed Akane behind.

"Who said anything about training at six o'clock?"

Nabiki smirked at Akane.

"You new sensei did, Akane. I would advise you to go to bed early."

Akane glared at Nabiki for a moment before storming up the stairs, muttering something about know-it-all-sisters and martial-arts-perverts.

That left Nabiki and Kasumi in the room.

"I don't want to be left behind big sis…"

"Neither do I Nabiki, neither do I…but staying together with them really worth so much danger?"

No one could answer that question.

********************

The next day

Ranma and Akane were sitting in a booth; both of them were busy eating a `triple fudge cherry-banana-chocolate sundae'.

Akane hadn't taken kindly to Happosai's morning regime, or to his mid afternoon regime for that matter. So Ranma had decided it was best to get his friend out of the house until she had cooled of some.

By the time Akane's sundae was halfway gone the girl had calmed down and Ranma decided it was save to speak again.

"You did very good in training today, Akane."

Akane grimaced.

"I don't think Happosai would say the same. Why is that little gome always belittling me?"

"Because it is part of Anything Goes…and a very good way for you to learn how to contain your temper during a fight."

Akane wanted to say something like `Who's got a temper', but stopped herself the last moment. She knew Ranma wasn't insulting her, only stating the facts. That made it no less frustrating to her, though.

"I suppose you're right, but…"

"…you still got a temper, yeah I know!"

Akane wanted strangle him, but then she saw the smirk on his lips and realized Ranma was only teasing her and stopped short.

`Well, two can play that game'

"Kasumi likes you."

Akane almost laughed out loud as Ranma's smirk was wiped off his face to be replaced by shock.

"Yeah, I mean it. I may have a temper, but I'm not nearly as clueless as you, Ranma"

Ranma worked his mouth several times without making a sound, until he noticed that Akane didn't seem mad or sad. That shook him out of his stupor.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Ranma, I'm your friend…and to be frank, I want to keep it like that."

Ranma looked offended.

"Hey, anything wrong with me?"

"Yes, you are clueless and an idiot."

"And you have a temper and no chest."

Akane smiled good naturedly.

"Touché! Now what are you going to do about Kasumi?"

Ranma blinked.

"What should I do about her?"

Akane bopped him over the head.

"What do you think? Take her on a date of course. The engagement between you and a Tendo is still going after all."

After a little thought Ranma smiled at Akane.

"You know, for a tomboy you can have pretty useful advice."

Akane gave him a wry grin.

"Well, you are pretty clueless for a pervert "(2)

The man behind the counter rolled his eyes as the two kept flinging insults back and forth while grinning at each other like it was the best thing of their lives.

`Young people today are weird…"

********************

The same time in some remote part of Tokyo

Mousse peeked out of the garbage can he was currently hiding in carefully.

No crazy idiots carrying various implements of sexual torture were in sight, so he stood up.

*RIP*

Mousse twitched a few times and toppled over whimpering piteously.

`I have to remember that chain in the future….'

Several minutes later and old woman of about 60 came into the alley to find a naked man of about 17 with long black hair and thick glasses.

She also noted the red welts running all over his body as well as the chain that was linking together his nipples and his family jewels.

Being who she was it was clear to her that the young man wouldn't be able to stand up straight without crushing some very important organs for reproduction, so she quickly walked over and heaved him up.

"Finally I have another toy to play with! This is going to be fun."

She emphasized her statement by straightening up the still unresponsive Mousse.

*RIP*

Mousse decided passing out was the only option in such a situation and promptly did so.

End chapter 11

********************

(1) Oh my God! Ranma is using his head! *gasp*

(2) Don't look so confused, some friends are like that. They keep flinging insults back and forth just for the heck of it and find it fun…I know people like that.

Author's notes:

Well, that's the second part of this rather large chapter over and done with.

I know, I was a little hard on Mousse this chapter…sorry, couldn't resist

Don't worry, the fiancée brigade will have more than enough screen time the next chapter…and Mousse will finally meet Ranma and Shinji, nearly forgot that, *g*

Guess no one would have suspected that eh? Ranma and Cologne getting along, Shinji getting ready to skin Happosai alive, what impossibility will I prove possible next chapter?

One answer: read on and find out!

Once again thanks to my pre-readers NuStrike and Kuracao who greatly helped me with both parts of this chapter.

Extra thanks to NuStrike for the awesome omake from part 1.

And now, another Omake which will hopefully open your eyes to the pains I have to endure as director of this piece. (Not pre-read!)

****************

OMAKE

The author (me) swallows hard as a vicious knock rattles the doorframe.

Me: …yes? ...

The door opens and Mousse steps in frothing at the mouth.

Mousse: What do you think you are doing?

Me:*sweats bullets*…uhm…writing a fanfic?

Mousse: I'll never be able to have kids again!

Me: …sorry?

Mousse:*Charges at author* DIE BASTARD!

*Crack*

Me:*looks at Bon-bori that has impacted Mousse's head* Wooo, that was close. Thanks Shampoo.

Shampoo:*steps over Mousse's body and smiles maliciously* No problem…I wanted to gut you myself anyway.

Me:*pales* I didn't do anything!

Shampoo:*presses dagger against my throat* Are you sure?

Me:*remembers Shampoo didn't have a scene this chapter* Uhm…very big scene involving you and Ranma next chapter?

Shampoo:*suddenly all smiles* I knew you would see it my way. Have fun! *leaves*

Me: huh?

*ROOOOAAAR*

Me:*looks up and sees purple fist descending* ouch….

*Smash*

EVA-01:*red goo that was once the author running out from under its fist* ROAAR ROAR ROOOAAAR ROAR ROAAR (translation: I told him I wouldn't take to kindly to being stuck in the ocean floor)

Somewhere else

Ranma and Shinji are standing in front of a computer terminal pressing buttons. The circular room around them is shrouded in darkness but dark shapes seem to be floating in the shadows.

Ranma presses the last button and the lights turn on.

"I swear this starts to annoy me."

Shinji nodded as he watched the walls, now revealed to be made of glass so you could watch the circular tank that was running around the room, it was filled with unmoving human shells.

"This room creeps me out as well. Why is he always taking so long?"

"Well, sorry to be an inconvenience for the two of you!"

The boys turn around to find the naked author standing behind them, dripping orange goo on the floor and looking rather pissed.

Ranma cocked an eyebrow.

"So, what happened this time? Akane trying to cook or did Shampoo gut you for leering again?"

The author sighed.

"Nah. Unit 01 crushed me under her fist because I lied about her being on the ocean floor. "

Shinji shrugged as he handed the author some spare clothes.

"Well, you could always try to be a little nicer to your actors."

"And risk my masterpiece by letting myself be guided by their whims? Never!"

A short maniac laugh followed that made Ranma and Shinji shudder.

"Anyway, I'll be going now, I have work to do and a new computer to buy…why they always have to ruin the equipment while killing me…"

As the author vanished Ranma and Shinji looked around the room.

Several hundred copies of the author looked back at them while floating in the orange goo, also called LCL.

After a while Ranma spoke again.

"What number was that?"

"56"

Ranma shrugged.

"Well, looks like he was right, this authorquarium was a good idea after all."

******************

Well, that was that. Do you have the slightest idea how expensive cloning is? Or how annoying it is to die every second day?