Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Horizon of Eternity ❯ "If you don't speak your mind to her, your Eva won't move." - Rei Ayanami ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: kurisuchan 
Read on, Asuka fans! What if Asuka's battle during TV episode 22 ended differently? Please read and comment.
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Psychological | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 11.11.2001 | Pages: 6 | Words: 5.9K | Visits: 380 | Status: Completed
Read on, Asuka fans! What if Asuka's battle during TV episode 22 ended differently? Please read and comment.
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Psychological | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 11.11.2001 | Pages: 6 | Words: 5.9K | Visits: 380 | Status: Completed
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Horizon of Eternity
by Kurisuchan
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax and Hideaki Anno. This is simply a piece of fanfiction based on the series. There, I hope I made myself clear about that..
Thanks to all the readers who commented. It really is more than enough encouragement for me to start writing the fic for you guys. I hope you continue to read and comment that I learn from you, and hopefully become a better writer...
I'm really sorry for the huge delay before I was able to finish chapter 1(it's been one month since I was supposed to post this at the site). I never imagined my academic load to be this heavy so early in the sem. Anyways, here it is, finally done. To all who would read this, please comment. I really need your feedback for the next chapters.
Chapter 01: "If you don't speak your mind to her, your Eva won't move."
- Rei Ayanami
For Asuka Langly Soryuu, it seemed that the confines of the elevator were stifling and uncomfortable. For one thing, the lights along the corners of the walls and above in the ceiling seemed to shine glaringly. And the steady hum as the elevator made its way upwards was totally irritating. All that and more; too many reasons to name. Yet she knew that the lousy interior of a NERV elevator was not enough of a cause to fuel her anger. Her ire, she knew, was focused on the other person who shared the stifling confines with her.
Rei Ayanami stood calmly in front of the elevator door, waiting her turn to get off. She did not say a word since Asuka determinedly entered the elevator a short time ago, which suited Asuka just fine.
*If that's what she wants, then I'll be damned if I speak up first!* She thought grimly as she leaned on one wall. Moments passed with no sound at all except for the elevator hum. More silence. Asuka gritted her teeth to keep from screaming with frustration. She tried putting the First Child off her mind, but as she did other thoughts she did not want to think about quickly manifested.
She was losing it. All her hard work with her Eva and now she can't even handle one angel. All that effort to become the best, and now Shinji was far better than her. NERV can't depend on her anymore. They send in Shinji for the job so that the mission won't fail. Never her now. All she would be is backup. And at the rate that her Sync Ratio was dropping, it won't be long before even Rei would be better than her.
That last thought made her anger boil again. *Never! I'll never be that pathetic! It isn't my fault anyway; it's the Eva's fault! I'm doing everything right, and the Eva's messing up my Sync Ratios!* She thought furiously. *I swear, if NERV would only fix my Eva I would regain my skill, and be even better than Shinji,..*
"If you do not speak your mind to her, your Eva won't move."
It only took Asuka half a second to recover from being snapped out of her reverie. She rounded on Rei. "You think I'm not trying?!" Her voice quivered with suppressed rage. "You think its my fault?!"
"Your Eva has a mind of its own." Rei answered calmly, her back still towards Asuka. "It knows you, and would only respond if you respond."
"That's stupid." Asuka sneered. "Eva's don't think. Why would they? Why would a weapon need to think?" Silence. "Don't you try to ignore me!" More silence. Asuka
straightened angrily and grabbed the other girl's shoulder, whirling Rei around to face her. "Just because you're Commander Ikari's favorite doesn't mean you have the right to act so aloof and ignore me, you doll!"
Unflinching red eyes met blue. "I'm not Commander Ikari's favorite." Rei's voice sounded devoid of any emotion. "And I'm not a doll."
If anything, the answer angered Asuka all the more. "Yeah right! I can't believe that came from you! If I only know, if Commander Ikari tells you to kill yourself you'd do it!"
"Yes, I will."
The answer was as direct as a slap in the face. Asuka's eyes widened with disbelief and outrage. "Why you.." She growled, directing a full-armed slap at Rei. The sharp crack of its impact rang inside the elevator.
The door opened. Asuka slowly backed out, watching Rei's impassive face as one side started to redden from the blow.
No change.
"I hate you, you hypocrite!" Still no change. "I hate you! I hate everyone!" Rei's face remained an impassive mask.
Asuka fled down one long hallway, not being able to stand Rei's eyes any longer.
***
"We may have to replace the Pilot for Unit 2." Ritsuko said.
As of late, she seemed to grow accustomed to the Commander's office. The vastness of the room itself, almost as wide as the Central Dogma, didn't even bother her now. The Diagram engraved on the polished, black marble floor hardly caught her attention as well. She even took the room's meager lighting for granted. The only thing really different was that the only furnishing in the room, the Commander's desk, only had one person behind it.
"As long as she can Sync with Eva 02 then she is still useful." The Commander answered. "Besides, we currently do not have ready spares to replace her as of yet."
"If her current Sync Ratio drop average holds," Ritsuko began,"then we expect that she would lose her ability to Sync with her Eva by the next 2 tests. As it is, her current Sync Ratio dropped from 72.06% to 60.17% within the space of 4 days. Today would be her fifth test to see if there are any improvements."
"Continue with the tests. If an angel attacks then have Unit 00 take point and assign Unit 02 as backup."
"Understood." Her voice sounded hollow to her ears. She turned to leave.
"What is the remodelled Eva 03's ETA?" The Commander asked behind her.
"From the last status report they were about 2 hours from the 3rd NERV Experimental Base in Chuumon."
"Change the orders. Tell them to deliver the Unit here at Tokyo 03."
Ritsuko's eyes widened slightly. "You mean to activateb Eva 03 here at the base?" She asked, turning back to the desk where the Commander sat. "What of the risks involved? What if what happened to the former Eva 03 happens again at the Geofront?"
"There is no imminent risk. The First Branch in America confirmed the success of their initial attempt at activating the Eva."
"Commander, I then highly recommend that we do the reactivation procedures away from the main base. The last incident was proof enough. If anything happens.."
"Any risk is worth taking, especially now. Unit 01 is to remain frozen until such an emergency scenario would require it to be freed. We need every Unit we could use to fight and stop another angel attack."
"But Commander..." she insisted.
"You have your orders, Dr. Akagi." The Commander cut in coldly.
Ritsuko stood still for a moment before answering.
"Understood."
***
The mournful sound of the chelo filled the air as Shinji played the instrument, fingers resting lightly along the strings. Mournful yet beautiful in its elegance, calming in its simplicity. For a moment he lost himself in the music, hesitant fingers slowly gaining the confidence he thought he left behind years ago. Memories flickered in the edge of his awareness, all seemingly pleasant and tranquil, never with a hint on Evas or Angels. He barely noticed any of them as he continued to play, making music that he never knew he was capable of.
Making him forget, even for just a moment, who and what he was.
The apartment he shared with Misato and Asuka was empty save for himself. He tried his best to keep the rooms as neat as possible, not letting it become as messy as it was when he first walked in. He thought the empty feeling in the air was because he was alone, but he knew that even if all of them were there the feeling would remain. He thought that even though the music of the chelo he was playing was indeed beautiful and soothing, it would never replace the feeling of the home he thought he found a few months ago. He wondered if things would ever go back to the way they were; when laughter and welcome still filled the apartment.
Idle thoughts continued to swirl inside Shinji's mind as he continued to play, the pleasant now mixed with the unpleasant that he would rather leave alone, yet helpless to do anything about as the melody brought them out.
About Asuka. About how she seemed to be someone he could talk to, even if at times she could be difficult; atleast he felt that she was never really angry with him, not until his Sync Ratio topped hers. About Rei. About how he felt towards her and his father, and how he felt for her as a co-pilot and maybe as a friend. About Asuka being a possible friend and how he felt for her as a copilot. About Misato. About how he felt towards her being his guardian, about how he could or couldn't imagine her as a mother, about how he hesitates at being her friend because she's older than him. About his father, and how much pain and loneliness their relationship brings. About NERV, and the people working in there. About Kaji, Ritsuko, Maya and many others. About school, and how he stopped going to class since the day he got out of the Infirmary. About his friends and how they were doing.
About Toji, and Eva 01.
His hands stilled, cutting off the music abruptly.
For a couple of moments the only sound in the room was that of Shinji's quiet breathing as memories flashed across his mind, dark and violent. How he was helpless to stop what was done to his friend, and how he watched as Eva 01's hand crushed Eva 03's entryplug. And memories of how he begged to get into the Eva again, to stop the Angel from destroying the whole human race. Of how he accepted his place as one of the handful number of people with the capability to prevent the tragedy of another Second Impact from happening. How the responsibility of the whole human race, something that should have been in NERV's hands or his father's, or atleast in some adult's hands who would have a clue how to handle it, was suddenly thrusted to him and his co-pilots.
He heard the wooden floorboards behind him creak as someone else stepped into the room.
"That was very beautiful, Shinji. I never knew that you played any musical instrument." Misato said. "But why did you stop?"
Shinji felt a twinge of pleasure and embarassment from the praise. "I'm not really good at it. It's been quite some time since I last played; I almost thought that I've forgotten how." he said. Memories flashed again, about running away from Misato's cries of grief; about convincing himself that couldn't help her while deep inside he knew he understood her pain. "So," he forced himself to ask, "how come you're early? I thought that you'd be up for an all-nighter today?"
Misato took the chair beside Shinji before answering. "They had to change the schedule for today. They suspended all routine activities except for Asuka's Sync Ratio test."
Shinji's voice lost some of its forced cheerfulness. "How is she?"
"Her test results are getting pretty bad. She's been regressing for the past week. We are hoping that she'll be able to regain her skill eventually."
"Then I guess that means she's still angry with me." Shinji sighed.
"Don't worry about that. Hopefully she'll get her first good news by the end of today's test and be back in good spirits in no time."
Shinji didn't want to think about what would happen if Asuka didn't regain her ability to Sync with Eva 02. Silence stretched a bit as Shinji forced another question out to fill the space.
"What's with today? Why did they cancel all routines?"
Out of the corner of his eye he saw her studying him. "They want all related personnel to oversee the reactivation and testing of the new Eva 03 that's going to arrive here later." Misato answered after a moment.
"What? A new Eva 03 is going to arrive here today?" For the first time in days Shinji was truly surprised. "When?"
"I've only heard about it yesterday myself. As for when, I guess it's about an hour from here."
Several other emotions warred over Shinji as he was about to ask his next question. There was fear and anger, anxiousness and curiosity. However hesitant he might seem about this conversation, he didn't care how how the question would sound to Misato.
"Who's the pilot?"
Misato looked at him for a moment before answering. "Don't worry about that. It seems that America has acquired a pilot for it and is sending her along with the Eva."
"Her?"
"I think her name's Faye. Do you want to meet her?"
Shinji imagined how the new pilot would look like. At the thought of meeting her, emotions clashed inside him. Eagerness was shadowed by anxiousness.
"Nevermind. I guess I'll just stay here. I'll get to meet her eventually anyway."
Quiet settled again as neither talked. Shinji stared at the chelo in his hands as Misato continued to study him. Then, as if mocking his words, an alarm siren suddenly blared from Tokyo 03. The moment of silence lingered as both of them listened to the siren's cry.
"Looks like you're going to have to meet her today." Misato said as she stood up.
Shinji stood with her, gently laying the chelo aside. For a moment, as he was playing, he almost forgot who he was. Now, the wail of the siren was a grim reminder of the responsibility he accepted. He almost wished he could run away, but he now knew that if he did, there would be no one else who would save humanity from the angels.
***
NERV's Central Dogma was a picture of ordered chaos by the time Ritsuko entered. Tension hung taut in the air as personnel worked with frenzied intensity, doing what they were supposed to do at situations such as this. And, as usual, she did not waste any time either.
"What's the status of the angel?"
"The target was sighted in low earth orbit over point of origin in the Pacific about 48 minutes ago." Hyuuga answered from his post. The main screen promtly changed to a satellite-camera view of the angel, something that looked like a huge bird of light. "It is presently 5 kms east of Tokyo - 03 and holding its position. Besides that, we have no data as of yet."
Ritsuko studied screen for a moment. "What's our chance of interception?"
"MAGI calculations for current interception percentage of sortied Evangelion units at 34.09 percent." Maya said.
Ritsuko turned at the sound of the main door opening and found Misato.
"You're late."
"Sorry." Misato answered as she strode next to the scientist. "I was in the apartment when we heard the alarm."
"We?"
"Shinji. Don't worry about him. He's already in the Boarding Area. So what's our status?"
Ritsuko took a moment to brief Misato before turning back to address the sortied pilots.
"Listen up. This is how the operation would go. Eva units would simply wait in two areas: point and back-up. Both Evas are to be equipped with the latest models of the self propelled positron cannon. If point fails, then back-up is to finish the target within the next shot. Is this understood?"
Both Rei and Asuka answered affirmative.
"Good." Ritsuko said. "Now. Rei would be point. Asuka, you're back-up."
"What?! No way! I'll be point! Eva-02, launch!", Asuka replied as she promptly launched her Eva to the surface.
"Asuka...!" Ritsuko began.
"Let her take point." Misato cut in, touching the other's shoulder. "She might regain her ability this way."
Ritsuko studied Misato's face for a moment before she agreed. "Alright. Rei, you'll be back-up then."
"Understood." Rei answered before launching.
"I hope you know what you're doing." Ritsuko said as she turned to study the angel in the main screen. Misato remained silent, eyes on the main screen as well.
"What's the status of Eva-03?" The Commander suddenly asked from his position.
"The transport ship was told of the situation and plans to head back to Chuumon." One personnel answered.
"Change the orders. Tell them to circle the perimeter of Tokyo-03 by 3 kms on the opposite side of the angel and ready Eva-03 for emergency activation."
"Understood Commander."
Both Misato and Ritsuko glanced at the Commander as the order was given. Turning back to the main screen where the angel remained in focus, Ritsuko heard Misato muttering what she just said.
"I hope you know what you're doing."
And as before, she knew that it would have no answer.
***
Asuka could hear her blood pounding as she waited inside her Eva. No further orders were given since Ritsuko told her to wait for the go signal. As it was, she knew she was very lucky that NERV Command did not simply upbraid her for that breach of protocol, but then Asuka had nothing else to lose. It was either win this battle or remain as back-up forever. Maybe even worse than back-up.
"Well, I'm here now. I'll show her, and them. I'll beat that angel up by myself." , she whispered to herself.
Eva-02 lay in a tensed sniping position in the shadow of a huge dummy building, the hands griping the new positron cannon steady and calm eventhough the pilot was not. A few hundred meters behind lay her back-up; Eva-00 was concealed even more than she was, NERV's contingency plan in case she fails.
"Don't even think about failing." she reminded herself quietly. "You can do it. It's just one angel. After this, everything will return to the way they were."
"Asuka! The angel has entered firing range. You know what to do." Misato's voice announced.
"Of course! How hard could this be?" Asuka answered as she activated the targeting computer for the weapon, putting every bit of her usual confidence in her voice while feeling none of it. She focused her attention on the computer's display system, watching as it computed the firing trajectory of hitting the angel. Several long moments passed.
"C'mon, c'mon...what the hell's taking you so long!?" Asuka waited tensely, still watching the computations in front of her. Unwanted images flashed in her mind: of her Eva suddenly being struck down by the angel, not being able to fire because the computer was actually broken, or of her prematurely firing the weapon even before the lock-on. That and other similar thoughts frayed her emotions as she continued to wait, but somehow she was able to remain immobile until the computer finally gave the lock-on signal.
"FIRE!" Asuka screamed as she finally released all those pent-up emotions in one single action. She braced herself as the recoil tried to push her back, and at the same time a bright beam of energy streaked from the weapon, making its way towards the heavens.
It took only a few moments for the beam to reach low earth orbit. A few moments more, it then proceeded to streak past its supposed target by a few hundred feet.
For a moment all Asuka could do was stare uncomprehendingly at the lock-on signal still displayed on the computer. Then fear rode her emotions as she made a move to fire again. There was no response as she pulled the trigger.
"Damn!", she said frantically as she continued to pull at the trigger. "Damn! Cool down already! I have to kill that thing! I have to..."
A beam of what looked like sunlight shot from the angel and shined down on Eva-02. Asuka had a moment to actually feel the angel move around her mind before she screamed in horror. Any attempt to stop the angel was futile; it continued to make its way deeper inside her mind, opening memories and experiences she thought she had locked away. Making her see and experience those memories once more brought tears to her eyes.
"Stop! Stop it! Don't do this to me!" Asuka screamed in futility. "Stop raping my mind!" She realized she still held the weapon and began to fire it blindly in the hope that she might stop the angel. Beams of energy streaked in different directions, destroying anything in their path.
Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stop it. Please! Someone help me!" she sobbed, putting her hands over her head. "Anyone, please! Not this. Don't do this to me!"
Her screams were ignored as the angel continued its attack.
***
"The pilot's mind is being contaminated!" Hyuuga barked as he watched the readings on his screen.
"Rei!" Ritsuko called.
"Hai." Rei answered. Within several moments she had lock-on and fired. The energy beam arched over the horizon to smash directly into the angel's AT field to no visible effect.
"The distance between the firing zone and the angel is too great for the rifle's energy to be able to penetrate that AT field!" Maya said. "There would be no way for us to destroy that angel with the sortied weapons."
"Damn it." Misato growled as she continued to watch the attack on Eva-02. "Eject Asuka and move Rei out of the area."
"No good! The signal is being rejected!" Hyuuga replied.
"Unbelievable." Ritsuko murmurmed as she too stared at the main screen. "Is it possible that the angel is interested in human experiences and memories?"
Misato shot her a look that hinted at sharper words.
"Rei." the Commander said before she could speak. "Go down and get the Lance." At the sound of Rei's affirmative Misato rounded on him.
"Wait! Isn't that dangerous? What if the angel gets down there?" she demanded. The lack of an answer started to fuel her suspicions.
*So contact between Adam and Angels could not cause a Third Impact* she thought grimly. Further thought was interrupted by Shinji's voice.
"Father! Let me launch! I could save Asuka." he demanded from his Eva.
"Negative. We cannot risk the chance of Eva-01 being contaminated. You are to stay there until further orders." the Commander replied, then promptly severed communications with Unit 1.
Misato continued to watch the angel's silent attack against Unit 2 as it took effect. "Hang on, Asuka." she whispered. "Help is on the way."
***
*My mother?* She thought as she looked at a memory in front of her. *Yes, that's my mother*
A body was hanging from a rope attached to the ceiling, its limp hand clutching a rag doll.
Asuka had gone silent a short while after being plunged to a semi-conscious state by the angel rampaging within her consciousness. Now, even she was drawn in as it continued to attack her mind.
*I was so excited at that time. The Second Branch just told me that they selected me to be the pilot of that big red robot they were building. I remember how proud I felt then, and even though I was a little anxious to be around with my mother after she changed I still wanted to tell her. When I got home this was what became of her.*
It was suddenly raining. There a lot of people wearing mourful black as her mother was slowly lowered to her grave. A woman with tears in her eyes bent towards a flinty eyed young Asuka. "Go on, dear." the old woman said. "It's better to release your grief now than letting it eat you up inside." The young girl looked up with a determined face before answering.
"I'm alright. I don't need to cry. I'm stronger than I look."
*Am I? Really? It's been how many years since I said that and until now I still wan't to cry.*
Suddenly Asuka was a little older, wearing an older version of the red plug-suit she wore now. She still had that determined look on her face as she continued to train to be an Eva pilot.
*Yes, I remember this. I remember moving out of my aunt's place to live by myself. I remember thinking that being an Eva pilot is the only thing that I would ever live for. It is this time that I vowed that I would be the best Eva pilot ever. And I also wanted to grow up, so that I wouldn't have to depend on anybody else but myself.*
*I remember the great feeling of elation the first time I was finally able to syncronize with Eva-02. 'At last' I thought to myself then, 'all that work finally paid off. Now I am my own person.'*
Her memories shifted to a particular event that forced her to move from Germany to Tokyo-3.
*I thought then that this fabled 'Battle of Tokyo-03' and the 'Third Child' that I kept on hearing about was more than a little exaggerated to express NERV's superior capability in handling the angels. I could never believe then that someone, especially someone without my kind of training, could actually use an Eva and be able to defeat an angel. I guess at that time I was afraid that someone else could be better than me so easily.*
*And then there were those battles in Tokyo-3, where I showed the world my true worth as an Evangelion Pilot. What reason? I guess I pilot it just to prove that I'm here, that I exist. Is it the only reason. What more? I...*
Her memories drifted to Shinji.
*Shinji. I can't accept the fact that he's actually better than me. He's so childish and irresponsible. And he's a coward. He runs away from his responsibilities. That's why I hate him.*
'You hate him because he isn't like you?' a girl Asuka seated in front of her asked.
Asuka looked around. She was suddenly in some doorless and windowless room, sitting on a chair across a girl who looks like her.
"Yes! That the coward is better than me is an insult!" Asuka shouted her reply.
'You hate him because he's like you.'
Her eyes widened. "No way! I was never like him! I..."
'You hate him because what you see in him is what you're trying to hide from everybody else.'
She started shaking her head as realization struck her. "No. I'm stronger than that. I'm grown up."
'You hate him because you know that deep inside you're just like him.'
She covered her head in an effort to shield her from the answers being given to her. "NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'M DIFFERENT!"
'Then why do you run away?'
She looked up as the voice across her suddenly changed.
Rei was sitting across her now, looking at her with those eyes that never changed.
Eyes like that of a doll.
'Why do you hate me?' Rei asked her.
"Because you remind me of my mother." Asuka answered tearfully, cringing inside as words poured out of her. "Because I lost my mother to someone like you. At first I didn't think so, but as I got to know you the more you showed me that you're just like that doll that my mother thought was me. Why are you like that? Why do you act as if your life is someone else's to play with? Why don't you show yourself to everybody? Why do you hide?"
'Why do let everybody know your will?'
"So that they would know that I'm here and that I'm no doll!" she screamed.
'Then why do you hide yourself even from yourself?'
Taken aback by the question as she was, she was not given an opportunity to answer. Her memories suddenly shifted to Eva-02.
'What does this mean to you?'
"It proves my existence."
'Then if you can't pilot it anymore, does it mean that you don't exist then?'
"If I can't pilot it anymore then it means I'm a failure! Why are you asking me these questions?!" Asuka sobbed.
'Why are you so afraid of failing?' Rei continued to ask.
"Because that would mean that I never changed." She sobbed brokenly. "Because that would mean that I never grew up, and never became strong. That I was as powerless as when my mother died."
'Why don't you want to depend on anyone else?'
"Because I don't want to trust someone else with something precious to me! Because I want to be able to protect my own happiness rather than letting someone else do it for me! Because I never want to feel as powerless and helpless as when I saw my mother hanging by that rope!"
For long moments she continued to cry with her head under her hands, refusing to look at her questioner and not caring to listen for any other questions she might have. Silence stretched and her emotions subsided, and when she finally gained enough confidence to look up she saw herself in her red plug-suit sitting across where she had been crying, smiling at her.
'If so, then what does piloting an Eva mean to you?' her double asked her. With that, everything seemed to vanish. Suddenly Asuka was staring at the blank screen of the now silent entry-plug with the question ringing in her ears.
"It means my capacity to be strong." she answered herself quietly. "It means my capability to protect what I love. And that I am weak. That I have to depend on the Eva to be able to do so."
"And because I never want to be lonely again."
Tears came as she accepted the truth about her conviction, and with it came the flood of feelings and awareness as Eva-02 reactivated, handing its control back to her.
***
"Ma'am! Eva-02's reactivating!" Hyuuga reported incredulously.
"What?! What about her mind contamination?" Misato asked.
"The angel stopped attacking several minutes after contamination passed critical point and the pilot passed out. But for some reason contamination dropped from above critical to zero within the last ten seconds before Eva-02 reactivated."
*What did the angel do?! Was it able to control Asuka's mind?* Misato thought frantically.
"Current Pilot signals and lifesigns?" Ritsuko asked briskly.
"Pilot lifesigns ok. And still no sign of any recurring mental contamination." Hyuuga answered.
"Harmonics normal. Nerve Connections syncronized. Her Sync Ratio's at 90.34%." Maya read from her screen.
"Asuka? Are you alright?!" Misato asked the girl through the comm-link.
"I'm fine, Misato. How do I kill that thing?" besides sounding tearful, she was all confidence.
It was Maya who answered. "Based on the distance that the angel advanced during its attack against Eva-02, assault from self-propelled positron cannon now has a success percentage of 72.2%. Height calculations required for such an assault would be atleast a 300 feet elevation from current location. However, point weapon has been damaged beyond use. Eva-02 would have to make use of Eva-00's rifle."
"Eva-00 just finished retrieving Lance of Longinus and is starting to make her way up." Another personnel added.
*Damn. There's no way an Eva could climb that high with that sniper rifle.* Misato thought. As she was thinking of a solution the Commander suddenly gave an order.
"Put Eva-03's pilot on screen."
It took several seconds delay before a pretty, blonde girl with green eyes was focused on the main screen.
"Yes, Commander?" the girl answered in foreign-accented japanese.
"Launch from that transport and proceed to where Eva-02 is. Upon arrival you are then to boost Unit 2 to a specified platform to be given to both of you later. Since you will be on battery power you are only limited to 1 minute of movement. If you've any time left, make for any supply building that provides an umbilical cable support. But make sure you complete your objectives before then. Is this clear?"
"Roger that, Commander. Launching from transport now."
Misato turned to Maya. "Get that calculation and point out the best candidates for firing platforms nearest to where both Units are." As Maya promptly began to work, Misato turned back to the main screen, where Eva-02 was currently recalibrating Rei's back-up weapon.
"How am I supposed to get on top of a 300 ft. building with this thing?!" Asuka asked as she brandished the heavy rifle.
Misato smiled as the question reminded her of the Asuka from a few months back. Yet there was something in that voice as well that she never heard before.
"Don't worry about that." she said. "Help's on the way."
***
"Help's on the way? What do you me..?" Asuka felt the ground shaking as something heavy made its way towards her, and a few moments more an Eva similar to Eva-03 suddenly appeared from one block and started running in her direction.
"Wha..?" Asuka started to ask. However, command in Central Dogma had no time to entertain her.
"The building to your left. That's were you're set to fire. Hurry up, both of you! We don't know what the angel could do at any moment!"
With that Asuka snapped back to business. Both Eva's rushed for the target platform, and as they reached their destination Eva-02 laid the rifle down to one side before mounting Eva-03's hands.
"Ready?" The pilot asked her in japanese accented by another foreign language. It only took Asuka a moment to recover from her surprise.
"GO!" she said. She felt Eva-03 tense under her, and then she was streaking for the top of building. Her hands caught the edge and she promptly climbed to the top herself. After a moment she turned back to catch the rifle that Eva-03 passed from the ground. Without wasting any time she secured the latches of the cannon and reset the computer to recalibrate lock-on calculations. After a few moments the computer gave her the signal to fire.
This time she did not utter any word. With a scream she pulled the trigger of the weapon. This time, when the energy beam streaked for the angel it hit dead center, smashed through AT field and nearly incinerated what was behind it. Bits of what was spared from the beam shimmered and then disintegrated now that the angel was destroyed.
For long moments Asuka just laid back, releasing sighs of relief. It felt as if a whole mountain of worry had been lifted off her shoulders. It was as if it was her first time to pilot her Eva again.
"Thank you." she whispered to Eva, near to tears. "Thank you, and thanks again. You know how much this means to me. I feel as if you've given back my life."
Her inter-com screen suddenly opened, revealing Misato as she was smiling.
"Nice job, Asuka." she congratulated from the intercom. "Get back here. There are somethings left to do, and someone you should meet."
With that the screen winked out again, and Asuka was left alone once more. Alone, yet not lonely. After another moment of savoring the sweet feel of true victory she headed back to NERV base, eager to meet everyone again.
***END OF CHAPTER 01***
Chapter 02: Enter Faye! She finally enters the scene and meets everyone. Who is she? What kind of person is she? How would the others react towards her? And how would she do with the other pilots when another angel attack comes?
by Kurisuchan
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax and Hideaki Anno. This is simply a piece of fanfiction based on the series. There, I hope I made myself clear about that..
Thanks to all the readers who commented. It really is more than enough encouragement for me to start writing the fic for you guys. I hope you continue to read and comment that I learn from you, and hopefully become a better writer...
I'm really sorry for the huge delay before I was able to finish chapter 1(it's been one month since I was supposed to post this at the site). I never imagined my academic load to be this heavy so early in the sem. Anyways, here it is, finally done. To all who would read this, please comment. I really need your feedback for the next chapters.
Chapter 01: "If you don't speak your mind to her, your Eva won't move."
- Rei Ayanami
For Asuka Langly Soryuu, it seemed that the confines of the elevator were stifling and uncomfortable. For one thing, the lights along the corners of the walls and above in the ceiling seemed to shine glaringly. And the steady hum as the elevator made its way upwards was totally irritating. All that and more; too many reasons to name. Yet she knew that the lousy interior of a NERV elevator was not enough of a cause to fuel her anger. Her ire, she knew, was focused on the other person who shared the stifling confines with her.
Rei Ayanami stood calmly in front of the elevator door, waiting her turn to get off. She did not say a word since Asuka determinedly entered the elevator a short time ago, which suited Asuka just fine.
*If that's what she wants, then I'll be damned if I speak up first!* She thought grimly as she leaned on one wall. Moments passed with no sound at all except for the elevator hum. More silence. Asuka gritted her teeth to keep from screaming with frustration. She tried putting the First Child off her mind, but as she did other thoughts she did not want to think about quickly manifested.
She was losing it. All her hard work with her Eva and now she can't even handle one angel. All that effort to become the best, and now Shinji was far better than her. NERV can't depend on her anymore. They send in Shinji for the job so that the mission won't fail. Never her now. All she would be is backup. And at the rate that her Sync Ratio was dropping, it won't be long before even Rei would be better than her.
That last thought made her anger boil again. *Never! I'll never be that pathetic! It isn't my fault anyway; it's the Eva's fault! I'm doing everything right, and the Eva's messing up my Sync Ratios!* She thought furiously. *I swear, if NERV would only fix my Eva I would regain my skill, and be even better than Shinji,..*
"If you do not speak your mind to her, your Eva won't move."
It only took Asuka half a second to recover from being snapped out of her reverie. She rounded on Rei. "You think I'm not trying?!" Her voice quivered with suppressed rage. "You think its my fault?!"
"Your Eva has a mind of its own." Rei answered calmly, her back still towards Asuka. "It knows you, and would only respond if you respond."
"That's stupid." Asuka sneered. "Eva's don't think. Why would they? Why would a weapon need to think?" Silence. "Don't you try to ignore me!" More silence. Asuka
straightened angrily and grabbed the other girl's shoulder, whirling Rei around to face her. "Just because you're Commander Ikari's favorite doesn't mean you have the right to act so aloof and ignore me, you doll!"
Unflinching red eyes met blue. "I'm not Commander Ikari's favorite." Rei's voice sounded devoid of any emotion. "And I'm not a doll."
If anything, the answer angered Asuka all the more. "Yeah right! I can't believe that came from you! If I only know, if Commander Ikari tells you to kill yourself you'd do it!"
"Yes, I will."
The answer was as direct as a slap in the face. Asuka's eyes widened with disbelief and outrage. "Why you.." She growled, directing a full-armed slap at Rei. The sharp crack of its impact rang inside the elevator.
The door opened. Asuka slowly backed out, watching Rei's impassive face as one side started to redden from the blow.
No change.
"I hate you, you hypocrite!" Still no change. "I hate you! I hate everyone!" Rei's face remained an impassive mask.
Asuka fled down one long hallway, not being able to stand Rei's eyes any longer.
***
"We may have to replace the Pilot for Unit 2." Ritsuko said.
As of late, she seemed to grow accustomed to the Commander's office. The vastness of the room itself, almost as wide as the Central Dogma, didn't even bother her now. The Diagram engraved on the polished, black marble floor hardly caught her attention as well. She even took the room's meager lighting for granted. The only thing really different was that the only furnishing in the room, the Commander's desk, only had one person behind it.
"As long as she can Sync with Eva 02 then she is still useful." The Commander answered. "Besides, we currently do not have ready spares to replace her as of yet."
"If her current Sync Ratio drop average holds," Ritsuko began,"then we expect that she would lose her ability to Sync with her Eva by the next 2 tests. As it is, her current Sync Ratio dropped from 72.06% to 60.17% within the space of 4 days. Today would be her fifth test to see if there are any improvements."
"Continue with the tests. If an angel attacks then have Unit 00 take point and assign Unit 02 as backup."
"Understood." Her voice sounded hollow to her ears. She turned to leave.
"What is the remodelled Eva 03's ETA?" The Commander asked behind her.
"From the last status report they were about 2 hours from the 3rd NERV Experimental Base in Chuumon."
"Change the orders. Tell them to deliver the Unit here at Tokyo 03."
Ritsuko's eyes widened slightly. "You mean to activateb Eva 03 here at the base?" She asked, turning back to the desk where the Commander sat. "What of the risks involved? What if what happened to the former Eva 03 happens again at the Geofront?"
"There is no imminent risk. The First Branch in America confirmed the success of their initial attempt at activating the Eva."
"Commander, I then highly recommend that we do the reactivation procedures away from the main base. The last incident was proof enough. If anything happens.."
"Any risk is worth taking, especially now. Unit 01 is to remain frozen until such an emergency scenario would require it to be freed. We need every Unit we could use to fight and stop another angel attack."
"But Commander..." she insisted.
"You have your orders, Dr. Akagi." The Commander cut in coldly.
Ritsuko stood still for a moment before answering.
"Understood."
***
The mournful sound of the chelo filled the air as Shinji played the instrument, fingers resting lightly along the strings. Mournful yet beautiful in its elegance, calming in its simplicity. For a moment he lost himself in the music, hesitant fingers slowly gaining the confidence he thought he left behind years ago. Memories flickered in the edge of his awareness, all seemingly pleasant and tranquil, never with a hint on Evas or Angels. He barely noticed any of them as he continued to play, making music that he never knew he was capable of.
Making him forget, even for just a moment, who and what he was.
The apartment he shared with Misato and Asuka was empty save for himself. He tried his best to keep the rooms as neat as possible, not letting it become as messy as it was when he first walked in. He thought the empty feeling in the air was because he was alone, but he knew that even if all of them were there the feeling would remain. He thought that even though the music of the chelo he was playing was indeed beautiful and soothing, it would never replace the feeling of the home he thought he found a few months ago. He wondered if things would ever go back to the way they were; when laughter and welcome still filled the apartment.
Idle thoughts continued to swirl inside Shinji's mind as he continued to play, the pleasant now mixed with the unpleasant that he would rather leave alone, yet helpless to do anything about as the melody brought them out.
About Asuka. About how she seemed to be someone he could talk to, even if at times she could be difficult; atleast he felt that she was never really angry with him, not until his Sync Ratio topped hers. About Rei. About how he felt towards her and his father, and how he felt for her as a co-pilot and maybe as a friend. About Asuka being a possible friend and how he felt for her as a copilot. About Misato. About how he felt towards her being his guardian, about how he could or couldn't imagine her as a mother, about how he hesitates at being her friend because she's older than him. About his father, and how much pain and loneliness their relationship brings. About NERV, and the people working in there. About Kaji, Ritsuko, Maya and many others. About school, and how he stopped going to class since the day he got out of the Infirmary. About his friends and how they were doing.
About Toji, and Eva 01.
His hands stilled, cutting off the music abruptly.
For a couple of moments the only sound in the room was that of Shinji's quiet breathing as memories flashed across his mind, dark and violent. How he was helpless to stop what was done to his friend, and how he watched as Eva 01's hand crushed Eva 03's entryplug. And memories of how he begged to get into the Eva again, to stop the Angel from destroying the whole human race. Of how he accepted his place as one of the handful number of people with the capability to prevent the tragedy of another Second Impact from happening. How the responsibility of the whole human race, something that should have been in NERV's hands or his father's, or atleast in some adult's hands who would have a clue how to handle it, was suddenly thrusted to him and his co-pilots.
He heard the wooden floorboards behind him creak as someone else stepped into the room.
"That was very beautiful, Shinji. I never knew that you played any musical instrument." Misato said. "But why did you stop?"
Shinji felt a twinge of pleasure and embarassment from the praise. "I'm not really good at it. It's been quite some time since I last played; I almost thought that I've forgotten how." he said. Memories flashed again, about running away from Misato's cries of grief; about convincing himself that couldn't help her while deep inside he knew he understood her pain. "So," he forced himself to ask, "how come you're early? I thought that you'd be up for an all-nighter today?"
Misato took the chair beside Shinji before answering. "They had to change the schedule for today. They suspended all routine activities except for Asuka's Sync Ratio test."
Shinji's voice lost some of its forced cheerfulness. "How is she?"
"Her test results are getting pretty bad. She's been regressing for the past week. We are hoping that she'll be able to regain her skill eventually."
"Then I guess that means she's still angry with me." Shinji sighed.
"Don't worry about that. Hopefully she'll get her first good news by the end of today's test and be back in good spirits in no time."
Shinji didn't want to think about what would happen if Asuka didn't regain her ability to Sync with Eva 02. Silence stretched a bit as Shinji forced another question out to fill the space.
"What's with today? Why did they cancel all routines?"
Out of the corner of his eye he saw her studying him. "They want all related personnel to oversee the reactivation and testing of the new Eva 03 that's going to arrive here later." Misato answered after a moment.
"What? A new Eva 03 is going to arrive here today?" For the first time in days Shinji was truly surprised. "When?"
"I've only heard about it yesterday myself. As for when, I guess it's about an hour from here."
Several other emotions warred over Shinji as he was about to ask his next question. There was fear and anger, anxiousness and curiosity. However hesitant he might seem about this conversation, he didn't care how how the question would sound to Misato.
"Who's the pilot?"
Misato looked at him for a moment before answering. "Don't worry about that. It seems that America has acquired a pilot for it and is sending her along with the Eva."
"Her?"
"I think her name's Faye. Do you want to meet her?"
Shinji imagined how the new pilot would look like. At the thought of meeting her, emotions clashed inside him. Eagerness was shadowed by anxiousness.
"Nevermind. I guess I'll just stay here. I'll get to meet her eventually anyway."
Quiet settled again as neither talked. Shinji stared at the chelo in his hands as Misato continued to study him. Then, as if mocking his words, an alarm siren suddenly blared from Tokyo 03. The moment of silence lingered as both of them listened to the siren's cry.
"Looks like you're going to have to meet her today." Misato said as she stood up.
Shinji stood with her, gently laying the chelo aside. For a moment, as he was playing, he almost forgot who he was. Now, the wail of the siren was a grim reminder of the responsibility he accepted. He almost wished he could run away, but he now knew that if he did, there would be no one else who would save humanity from the angels.
***
NERV's Central Dogma was a picture of ordered chaos by the time Ritsuko entered. Tension hung taut in the air as personnel worked with frenzied intensity, doing what they were supposed to do at situations such as this. And, as usual, she did not waste any time either.
"What's the status of the angel?"
"The target was sighted in low earth orbit over point of origin in the Pacific about 48 minutes ago." Hyuuga answered from his post. The main screen promtly changed to a satellite-camera view of the angel, something that looked like a huge bird of light. "It is presently 5 kms east of Tokyo - 03 and holding its position. Besides that, we have no data as of yet."
Ritsuko studied screen for a moment. "What's our chance of interception?"
"MAGI calculations for current interception percentage of sortied Evangelion units at 34.09 percent." Maya said.
Ritsuko turned at the sound of the main door opening and found Misato.
"You're late."
"Sorry." Misato answered as she strode next to the scientist. "I was in the apartment when we heard the alarm."
"We?"
"Shinji. Don't worry about him. He's already in the Boarding Area. So what's our status?"
Ritsuko took a moment to brief Misato before turning back to address the sortied pilots.
"Listen up. This is how the operation would go. Eva units would simply wait in two areas: point and back-up. Both Evas are to be equipped with the latest models of the self propelled positron cannon. If point fails, then back-up is to finish the target within the next shot. Is this understood?"
Both Rei and Asuka answered affirmative.
"Good." Ritsuko said. "Now. Rei would be point. Asuka, you're back-up."
"What?! No way! I'll be point! Eva-02, launch!", Asuka replied as she promptly launched her Eva to the surface.
"Asuka...!" Ritsuko began.
"Let her take point." Misato cut in, touching the other's shoulder. "She might regain her ability this way."
Ritsuko studied Misato's face for a moment before she agreed. "Alright. Rei, you'll be back-up then."
"Understood." Rei answered before launching.
"I hope you know what you're doing." Ritsuko said as she turned to study the angel in the main screen. Misato remained silent, eyes on the main screen as well.
"What's the status of Eva-03?" The Commander suddenly asked from his position.
"The transport ship was told of the situation and plans to head back to Chuumon." One personnel answered.
"Change the orders. Tell them to circle the perimeter of Tokyo-03 by 3 kms on the opposite side of the angel and ready Eva-03 for emergency activation."
"Understood Commander."
Both Misato and Ritsuko glanced at the Commander as the order was given. Turning back to the main screen where the angel remained in focus, Ritsuko heard Misato muttering what she just said.
"I hope you know what you're doing."
And as before, she knew that it would have no answer.
***
Asuka could hear her blood pounding as she waited inside her Eva. No further orders were given since Ritsuko told her to wait for the go signal. As it was, she knew she was very lucky that NERV Command did not simply upbraid her for that breach of protocol, but then Asuka had nothing else to lose. It was either win this battle or remain as back-up forever. Maybe even worse than back-up.
"Well, I'm here now. I'll show her, and them. I'll beat that angel up by myself." , she whispered to herself.
Eva-02 lay in a tensed sniping position in the shadow of a huge dummy building, the hands griping the new positron cannon steady and calm eventhough the pilot was not. A few hundred meters behind lay her back-up; Eva-00 was concealed even more than she was, NERV's contingency plan in case she fails.
"Don't even think about failing." she reminded herself quietly. "You can do it. It's just one angel. After this, everything will return to the way they were."
"Asuka! The angel has entered firing range. You know what to do." Misato's voice announced.
"Of course! How hard could this be?" Asuka answered as she activated the targeting computer for the weapon, putting every bit of her usual confidence in her voice while feeling none of it. She focused her attention on the computer's display system, watching as it computed the firing trajectory of hitting the angel. Several long moments passed.
"C'mon, c'mon...what the hell's taking you so long!?" Asuka waited tensely, still watching the computations in front of her. Unwanted images flashed in her mind: of her Eva suddenly being struck down by the angel, not being able to fire because the computer was actually broken, or of her prematurely firing the weapon even before the lock-on. That and other similar thoughts frayed her emotions as she continued to wait, but somehow she was able to remain immobile until the computer finally gave the lock-on signal.
"FIRE!" Asuka screamed as she finally released all those pent-up emotions in one single action. She braced herself as the recoil tried to push her back, and at the same time a bright beam of energy streaked from the weapon, making its way towards the heavens.
It took only a few moments for the beam to reach low earth orbit. A few moments more, it then proceeded to streak past its supposed target by a few hundred feet.
For a moment all Asuka could do was stare uncomprehendingly at the lock-on signal still displayed on the computer. Then fear rode her emotions as she made a move to fire again. There was no response as she pulled the trigger.
"Damn!", she said frantically as she continued to pull at the trigger. "Damn! Cool down already! I have to kill that thing! I have to..."
A beam of what looked like sunlight shot from the angel and shined down on Eva-02. Asuka had a moment to actually feel the angel move around her mind before she screamed in horror. Any attempt to stop the angel was futile; it continued to make its way deeper inside her mind, opening memories and experiences she thought she had locked away. Making her see and experience those memories once more brought tears to her eyes.
"Stop! Stop it! Don't do this to me!" Asuka screamed in futility. "Stop raping my mind!" She realized she still held the weapon and began to fire it blindly in the hope that she might stop the angel. Beams of energy streaked in different directions, destroying anything in their path.
Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stop it. Please! Someone help me!" she sobbed, putting her hands over her head. "Anyone, please! Not this. Don't do this to me!"
Her screams were ignored as the angel continued its attack.
***
"The pilot's mind is being contaminated!" Hyuuga barked as he watched the readings on his screen.
"Rei!" Ritsuko called.
"Hai." Rei answered. Within several moments she had lock-on and fired. The energy beam arched over the horizon to smash directly into the angel's AT field to no visible effect.
"The distance between the firing zone and the angel is too great for the rifle's energy to be able to penetrate that AT field!" Maya said. "There would be no way for us to destroy that angel with the sortied weapons."
"Damn it." Misato growled as she continued to watch the attack on Eva-02. "Eject Asuka and move Rei out of the area."
"No good! The signal is being rejected!" Hyuuga replied.
"Unbelievable." Ritsuko murmurmed as she too stared at the main screen. "Is it possible that the angel is interested in human experiences and memories?"
Misato shot her a look that hinted at sharper words.
"Rei." the Commander said before she could speak. "Go down and get the Lance." At the sound of Rei's affirmative Misato rounded on him.
"Wait! Isn't that dangerous? What if the angel gets down there?" she demanded. The lack of an answer started to fuel her suspicions.
*So contact between Adam and Angels could not cause a Third Impact* she thought grimly. Further thought was interrupted by Shinji's voice.
"Father! Let me launch! I could save Asuka." he demanded from his Eva.
"Negative. We cannot risk the chance of Eva-01 being contaminated. You are to stay there until further orders." the Commander replied, then promptly severed communications with Unit 1.
Misato continued to watch the angel's silent attack against Unit 2 as it took effect. "Hang on, Asuka." she whispered. "Help is on the way."
***
*My mother?* She thought as she looked at a memory in front of her. *Yes, that's my mother*
A body was hanging from a rope attached to the ceiling, its limp hand clutching a rag doll.
Asuka had gone silent a short while after being plunged to a semi-conscious state by the angel rampaging within her consciousness. Now, even she was drawn in as it continued to attack her mind.
*I was so excited at that time. The Second Branch just told me that they selected me to be the pilot of that big red robot they were building. I remember how proud I felt then, and even though I was a little anxious to be around with my mother after she changed I still wanted to tell her. When I got home this was what became of her.*
It was suddenly raining. There a lot of people wearing mourful black as her mother was slowly lowered to her grave. A woman with tears in her eyes bent towards a flinty eyed young Asuka. "Go on, dear." the old woman said. "It's better to release your grief now than letting it eat you up inside." The young girl looked up with a determined face before answering.
"I'm alright. I don't need to cry. I'm stronger than I look."
*Am I? Really? It's been how many years since I said that and until now I still wan't to cry.*
Suddenly Asuka was a little older, wearing an older version of the red plug-suit she wore now. She still had that determined look on her face as she continued to train to be an Eva pilot.
*Yes, I remember this. I remember moving out of my aunt's place to live by myself. I remember thinking that being an Eva pilot is the only thing that I would ever live for. It is this time that I vowed that I would be the best Eva pilot ever. And I also wanted to grow up, so that I wouldn't have to depend on anybody else but myself.*
*I remember the great feeling of elation the first time I was finally able to syncronize with Eva-02. 'At last' I thought to myself then, 'all that work finally paid off. Now I am my own person.'*
Her memories shifted to a particular event that forced her to move from Germany to Tokyo-3.
*I thought then that this fabled 'Battle of Tokyo-03' and the 'Third Child' that I kept on hearing about was more than a little exaggerated to express NERV's superior capability in handling the angels. I could never believe then that someone, especially someone without my kind of training, could actually use an Eva and be able to defeat an angel. I guess at that time I was afraid that someone else could be better than me so easily.*
*And then there were those battles in Tokyo-3, where I showed the world my true worth as an Evangelion Pilot. What reason? I guess I pilot it just to prove that I'm here, that I exist. Is it the only reason. What more? I...*
Her memories drifted to Shinji.
*Shinji. I can't accept the fact that he's actually better than me. He's so childish and irresponsible. And he's a coward. He runs away from his responsibilities. That's why I hate him.*
'You hate him because he isn't like you?' a girl Asuka seated in front of her asked.
Asuka looked around. She was suddenly in some doorless and windowless room, sitting on a chair across a girl who looks like her.
"Yes! That the coward is better than me is an insult!" Asuka shouted her reply.
'You hate him because he's like you.'
Her eyes widened. "No way! I was never like him! I..."
'You hate him because what you see in him is what you're trying to hide from everybody else.'
She started shaking her head as realization struck her. "No. I'm stronger than that. I'm grown up."
'You hate him because you know that deep inside you're just like him.'
She covered her head in an effort to shield her from the answers being given to her. "NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'M DIFFERENT!"
'Then why do you run away?'
She looked up as the voice across her suddenly changed.
Rei was sitting across her now, looking at her with those eyes that never changed.
Eyes like that of a doll.
'Why do you hate me?' Rei asked her.
"Because you remind me of my mother." Asuka answered tearfully, cringing inside as words poured out of her. "Because I lost my mother to someone like you. At first I didn't think so, but as I got to know you the more you showed me that you're just like that doll that my mother thought was me. Why are you like that? Why do you act as if your life is someone else's to play with? Why don't you show yourself to everybody? Why do you hide?"
'Why do let everybody know your will?'
"So that they would know that I'm here and that I'm no doll!" she screamed.
'Then why do you hide yourself even from yourself?'
Taken aback by the question as she was, she was not given an opportunity to answer. Her memories suddenly shifted to Eva-02.
'What does this mean to you?'
"It proves my existence."
'Then if you can't pilot it anymore, does it mean that you don't exist then?'
"If I can't pilot it anymore then it means I'm a failure! Why are you asking me these questions?!" Asuka sobbed.
'Why are you so afraid of failing?' Rei continued to ask.
"Because that would mean that I never changed." She sobbed brokenly. "Because that would mean that I never grew up, and never became strong. That I was as powerless as when my mother died."
'Why don't you want to depend on anyone else?'
"Because I don't want to trust someone else with something precious to me! Because I want to be able to protect my own happiness rather than letting someone else do it for me! Because I never want to feel as powerless and helpless as when I saw my mother hanging by that rope!"
For long moments she continued to cry with her head under her hands, refusing to look at her questioner and not caring to listen for any other questions she might have. Silence stretched and her emotions subsided, and when she finally gained enough confidence to look up she saw herself in her red plug-suit sitting across where she had been crying, smiling at her.
'If so, then what does piloting an Eva mean to you?' her double asked her. With that, everything seemed to vanish. Suddenly Asuka was staring at the blank screen of the now silent entry-plug with the question ringing in her ears.
"It means my capacity to be strong." she answered herself quietly. "It means my capability to protect what I love. And that I am weak. That I have to depend on the Eva to be able to do so."
"And because I never want to be lonely again."
Tears came as she accepted the truth about her conviction, and with it came the flood of feelings and awareness as Eva-02 reactivated, handing its control back to her.
***
"Ma'am! Eva-02's reactivating!" Hyuuga reported incredulously.
"What?! What about her mind contamination?" Misato asked.
"The angel stopped attacking several minutes after contamination passed critical point and the pilot passed out. But for some reason contamination dropped from above critical to zero within the last ten seconds before Eva-02 reactivated."
*What did the angel do?! Was it able to control Asuka's mind?* Misato thought frantically.
"Current Pilot signals and lifesigns?" Ritsuko asked briskly.
"Pilot lifesigns ok. And still no sign of any recurring mental contamination." Hyuuga answered.
"Harmonics normal. Nerve Connections syncronized. Her Sync Ratio's at 90.34%." Maya read from her screen.
"Asuka? Are you alright?!" Misato asked the girl through the comm-link.
"I'm fine, Misato. How do I kill that thing?" besides sounding tearful, she was all confidence.
It was Maya who answered. "Based on the distance that the angel advanced during its attack against Eva-02, assault from self-propelled positron cannon now has a success percentage of 72.2%. Height calculations required for such an assault would be atleast a 300 feet elevation from current location. However, point weapon has been damaged beyond use. Eva-02 would have to make use of Eva-00's rifle."
"Eva-00 just finished retrieving Lance of Longinus and is starting to make her way up." Another personnel added.
*Damn. There's no way an Eva could climb that high with that sniper rifle.* Misato thought. As she was thinking of a solution the Commander suddenly gave an order.
"Put Eva-03's pilot on screen."
It took several seconds delay before a pretty, blonde girl with green eyes was focused on the main screen.
"Yes, Commander?" the girl answered in foreign-accented japanese.
"Launch from that transport and proceed to where Eva-02 is. Upon arrival you are then to boost Unit 2 to a specified platform to be given to both of you later. Since you will be on battery power you are only limited to 1 minute of movement. If you've any time left, make for any supply building that provides an umbilical cable support. But make sure you complete your objectives before then. Is this clear?"
"Roger that, Commander. Launching from transport now."
Misato turned to Maya. "Get that calculation and point out the best candidates for firing platforms nearest to where both Units are." As Maya promptly began to work, Misato turned back to the main screen, where Eva-02 was currently recalibrating Rei's back-up weapon.
"How am I supposed to get on top of a 300 ft. building with this thing?!" Asuka asked as she brandished the heavy rifle.
Misato smiled as the question reminded her of the Asuka from a few months back. Yet there was something in that voice as well that she never heard before.
"Don't worry about that." she said. "Help's on the way."
***
"Help's on the way? What do you me..?" Asuka felt the ground shaking as something heavy made its way towards her, and a few moments more an Eva similar to Eva-03 suddenly appeared from one block and started running in her direction.
"Wha..?" Asuka started to ask. However, command in Central Dogma had no time to entertain her.
"The building to your left. That's were you're set to fire. Hurry up, both of you! We don't know what the angel could do at any moment!"
With that Asuka snapped back to business. Both Eva's rushed for the target platform, and as they reached their destination Eva-02 laid the rifle down to one side before mounting Eva-03's hands.
"Ready?" The pilot asked her in japanese accented by another foreign language. It only took Asuka a moment to recover from her surprise.
"GO!" she said. She felt Eva-03 tense under her, and then she was streaking for the top of building. Her hands caught the edge and she promptly climbed to the top herself. After a moment she turned back to catch the rifle that Eva-03 passed from the ground. Without wasting any time she secured the latches of the cannon and reset the computer to recalibrate lock-on calculations. After a few moments the computer gave her the signal to fire.
This time she did not utter any word. With a scream she pulled the trigger of the weapon. This time, when the energy beam streaked for the angel it hit dead center, smashed through AT field and nearly incinerated what was behind it. Bits of what was spared from the beam shimmered and then disintegrated now that the angel was destroyed.
For long moments Asuka just laid back, releasing sighs of relief. It felt as if a whole mountain of worry had been lifted off her shoulders. It was as if it was her first time to pilot her Eva again.
"Thank you." she whispered to Eva, near to tears. "Thank you, and thanks again. You know how much this means to me. I feel as if you've given back my life."
Her inter-com screen suddenly opened, revealing Misato as she was smiling.
"Nice job, Asuka." she congratulated from the intercom. "Get back here. There are somethings left to do, and someone you should meet."
With that the screen winked out again, and Asuka was left alone once more. Alone, yet not lonely. After another moment of savoring the sweet feel of true victory she headed back to NERV base, eager to meet everyone again.
***END OF CHAPTER 01***
Chapter 02: Enter Faye! She finally enters the scene and meets everyone. Who is she? What kind of person is she? How would the others react towards her? And how would she do with the other pilots when another angel attack comes?