Original Poetry Fan Fiction ❯ The Way And The Way Out ❯ The Way And The Way Out ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The Way and the Way Out
 
At nine and on until maybe eleven or twelve I was a reject, somehow less than human.
Then they called me lesbian and shut me out of the locker room
In just my gym shirt, socks, and underwear - I was only grateful that the shirt was too big
Because it was right in front of all the boys - middle school hell.
I was the serious one and the fool - the sage and the jester in one small, scrawny body
Either buried in a book, which may as well have been underground - Or dreamy
And so light that I was floating away - don't get me wrong; I never did drugs or anything
It was like I was an adult and a child at the same time, but I never knew how to be either
They took me to all kinds of doctors but that wasn't best for me - they only wanted
The best for me, said they wanted to see me being happy again - I half-believed them
So they medicated me - gave me pills - and I didn't like it because it changed me
Laughter was prohibited and crying was taboo as well
They said I couldn't function without it, but I would fight it - skipping doses, etc.
My mind, my heart - I kept them as long as I could - but it consumed me
My beloved singing voice was first to go - then it killed my writing
The words, the stories just wouldn't come
I knew I was dying, but I was ready - this was the one thing to which I promised
I wouldn't succumb.
Death wouldn't come to me like an angel in the night
I ripped off his mask as I ripped into my wrist