Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Stones of Summer: Instinct ❯ Fall/18 ( Chapter 10 )

Chapter Eleven
Fall/18

“If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.”
Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

Thrump-thrump-thrump
I rose from my bed, not bothering with shoes. This was too important. It had such a strong grip on me. I realized it wasn't me who was walking around. She had taken over. I couldn't move, or speak, but I heard, felt, and smelled everything. They were eating dinner. My body moved into the kitchen where they were all sitting. Everything seemed to be dimmer, like a filter was placed on my eyes.
“Oh, hi sweetheart. You were sleeping, we didn't want to wake you.” Dad swiped a napkin across his mouth. I tried to say something, warn them. Instead, I just stared.
“Honey, you're like the walking dead, go back to bed.” Mom chuckled and stood, obviously offering to help me there. A sound in the distance caught my attention.
Thrump-thrump-thrump
The hum of a plane's motor. My head whipped around to face the sound. It wasn't too far off, a distance I could easily reach.
Instinct had me running before my mind even said yes. I slammed against the door, shoving it open with my shoulder.
I heard the scrape of chairs, cursing, and the thick 'thumps' of people following me. It didn't matter.
“Doesn't she do this a lot? What's the problem now?” So Mr. Woon had been at the table.
“All of the tigers are out tonight, not to mention any other animal she may run across. Generally speaking, we stay out of the woods at night.” Was that dad or Chris? Or Ferguson maybe? It didn't matter. All that mattered was finding that plane. Warning those people against the danger they placed themselves in. My toes dug into the dirt giving me more leverage as I shot off into the night. I could barely see a thing, yet I was guide through the forest. Their tromping had thinned out to only the fittest, no doubt including Chris. He had gotten much better at running since he had been following me. Suddenly a 'stalked' feeling swept up my spine and they stopped running. I listened for them.
“Go back, go around. She might've not seen us yet. We don't want to be her next meal.” Why would Chris be talking like that about me? I wasn't going to eat them. I moved on, ignoring the complete silence. I was being stalked. I pushed myself harder and the feeling eventually faded. At last I burst out into the field that held the tar runway. A plane was at the far end, and I could have easily jumped the fence, but I held back. I held back. I met the fence and stood at it, staring at the plane. It was larger than the one I had been on, and the people were stumbling around in the dark, trying to find their dark colored suitcases. They were all men, all in suits. My chest tightened.
A paranoid part of me told me they had come here for me, because I was home, and everyone else wasn't. They wanted to know what happened. They wanted to know where everyone was.
The sensible part told me that there was no way they could know I was home.
'We aren't alone...'
With quiet steps, Chris was next to me, leaning on the fence. I didn't bother looking at him.
“Where is everyone else?” It didn't matter, but they all probably thought I was insane.
“I turned them back. No point in all of us getting killed to help you.” I flinched. And whispered
“Please don't say that.” It took us some time before we continued talking.
“They must think I'm nuts.” I couldn't help but smile, maybe it was true. He grunted.
“You aren't helping yourself.” I frowned and looked at him.
“Why is everyone telling me that? I'm doing the best I can!” It was frustrating beyond belief.
“You, and her, and mom and dad, and Claudine-” I realized what I said too late.
“Who's that?” I bit my lip and turned away, planning on ignoring him. He pushed my shoulder, forcing me to turn to look at him.
“Oh no you don't. No playing dumb, tell me!” I bit my lip and gazed at him imploringly.
“Stop with the eyes, answer the question.” There was no reason for me to have to tell him. I could just run home, lock myself in my room and act as if it never happened tomorrow. But I was giving up. I needed to tell someone. Why not Chris? He was completely trustworthy, he hadn't told my parents about my little blow up on the 30th.
“Well, don't freak out, okay. You see, she's always telling me that I should tell, you in particular, everything, all this other crazy crap I can't do, just yet if ever.” His eyes slitted.
“What are you trying to say? Who is this woman? Where does she live?” He reached over and placed a hand on my wrist, just resting it there. I had to think this through.
'Yes, please do, or we will sound more crazy then we already do.' I glared, and then smoothed my face out when I thought that Chris may think that I was glaring at him.
“Well, you see, she kind of is me and there for she lives in me...” I trailed off at his incredulous look.
“You're hearing voices?!” I saw that coming.
“No! Just one, and not all the time!” It was a desperate need for him to understand. He threw his hands up in exasperation.
“Oh, 'cause that's so much better! Why haven't you said anything? Damn, it makes so much sense now!” It was me who reached out to him now, digging my fingers into the crease of his elbow.
“What?” I couldn't have him turn his back on me, I would die.
He stared down at me in wonderment, as if he had just been shone the light, which supposedly he had.
“You are crazy!” I gave a cry and lurched back.
“I'm not! I'm really not! Please don't say that or I might become so! Please! I need you to believe me! I might die if you don't believe me. You're the only one I've ever told anything!” Disbelief and suspicion clouded his brow.
“If not crazy, then what are you and the voice in your head?” I held my head, looking around, thinking.
“I'm confused, and lost, scared and alone. I'm not crazy! She, she just is me, something my mind did so I wouldn't die out there, so I wouldn't go insane! Please! You have to believe me!” He took a step closer and I saw just how much he towered over me.
“Out where?” He couldn't know!
'Tell him or he will leave us.' She made up my mind, quite literally.
“Out there, here, everywhere” I gestured with my arms to the land around us. “I never had a choice, I had to survive! She, she just came when I wanted to die, she just came, it wasn't my choice! None of it was! Why should I have to suffer for it?” I stared at him, bewildered and breathing heavily. Tears were forming in my eyes. I yanked at my loose hair in anger and scratched at my eyes to stop the slow tears. “Stop that, stop.” He pulled my arms around him, hugging me to his body. I clutched at his clothes as he brushed my hair away.
“What happened? Tell me.” And I did, just like that. He asked and I supplied. It started with us standing in the darkness, pressed together with fear driven tears. It ended with us sitting side-by-side against the fence with the rising sun at our backs, and tears driven by relief.
It was done.
Things would never be the same.
It was silent for so long the morning fog came and went without notice. I didn't want to say anything, it was all too surreal. I was staring at the grass when he looked at me, raised a hand to my head, and kissed my hair.
“I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do for you, but know that I will never abandon you.” I leaned my head on his shoulder.
“That's enough.”

My muscles had tightened up to a point where I couldn't bend them and was forced to ride on Chris's back as we went back home. When we made it out of the brush, still talking about how I'd survived and how I had been feeling during that time, I heard a cry. Looking up, I saw mom holding her hands to her face, leaning on dad. Their eyes were rimmed in red and they looked like they hadn't gotten any sleep. I hadn't even known dad had gotten back. Chris helped me down and mom all but tackled me.
“My precious baby, I was so worried. Don't you ever do that again! Do you hear me? I don't think my heart could take it.” She squeezed the life out of me and coated my face in kisses. “Are you hurt, are you okay?” I smiled and shot a glance at Chris who was standing off to the side. I turned back to mom and hugged her again.
“Yeah mom, everything's okay, it will be.” Dad was right behind her, giving me a hug, pulling me off my feet and twisting me around.
Everything was going to be okay, I could feel it, just as I felt that turning around in the storms of Russia was right, we'd all be okay.
It would be a long journey, maybe longer than my Surviving, but if I could survive that, I could survive this.
Nothing would be perfect, I doubt I would ever trust people the way I use to, or trust the tigers completely.
It wouldn't ever actually be over, I would have to relive it everyday, but I was learning to live with that.
It was a start.

I blinked in the bright lights. I would see spots for days. The cameras blinked and people were shouting at me. Mom, dad and Chris kept me moving. I had some how been convinced to tell my parents what I had gone through, and they had somehow convinced me to tell the authorities. I was now heading into a large building with flags of every nation flying outside. There were two armed guards on each side of me. Surely this couldn't have made this much of a buzz. I clutched at Chris's arm.
“Why are all these people here?” I whispered. He didn't answer until we were in the building and everything quieted down.
“They all want to see you.” That didn't help one bit. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Thanks.” I bit out. He pulled me along.
“Sorry.”

I was passed from building to building, and I came face to face with the families of those lost. I cried with them, and they each hugged me. I told them only good things about their loved ones, and how they had never given up or lost hope. I told them that it was just fate that had separated us, and who knew, maybe they were still alive! My heart told me otherwise, but I kept my mouth closed.
A young woman with blond hair and hazel eyes much like my own waddled toward me with the help of an older man, most likely her father or uncle. Her stomach was extended out to a point where I thought she might fall over. She held a handkerchief to he nose with tears in her eyes. The others moved out of her way. She sobbed horribly once she was standing in front of me, and clutched the man's hand. She opened her mouth to speak only to close it. I just stared at her, not knowing what to do or say. I wanted to find Way's family, to tell them that I was sorry. I didn't have time for a wailing pregnant woman.
Finally she spoke, with a smooth soft voice that belied her pain.
“Tell me, do you know what my fiance's last words were?” I cocked and eyebrow and fiddled my thumbs. When she realized I did not know who she was talking about she spoke again.
“I'm sorry, my name is Izzy James, my fiance was Waylen Astley...” She looked hopeful and I fought to breathe. I stared her over, grasping my hands tightly. Tears formed in my eyes and she gasped quietly.
“Oh, please, you must tell me!” I closed my eyes and fought not to sob. Chills raked across my spine. What was I being told? Waylen, he had just been replacing her. I looked similar enough. I felt my lower jaw tremble.
'Why do the hits keep coming?!' I breathed out slowly and opened my eyes. She took a small step forward and dug her nails into the sleeves of my shirt.
“He...” I tried to keep myself from feeling the depression too greatly.
“He...he asked me to find you, to tell you that he, he, he loves you, no matter what...” I searched my mind for a 'Waylen' like phrase. “He said, that if the baby is a boy,” I was lying through my teeth “To name it after your father, he said the kid would be made fun of if he had his name...” She broke out in full blow wails, the man just catching her as he fell to the ground. I was too shocked to tell her the truth, and how could I ruin her life like that? How could I make her feel like I did right now? Especially when she was pregnant!?
“Papa! Why would god do this to me?!” I dropped to my knees as well, unable to contain my hysterics any more. I could only stare at her belly, wanting to know if Waylen's child was a girl or boy.
“Why, why was he on that plane?” I choked out, never making eye contact.
“He was going to Kent because my parents had been in a car accident. I was suppose to be on the same flight, but he convinced me, since I had been three months pregnant, that he would go and if it was serious, would return for me.” She sobbed. I did too. The only difference, she thought I was crying for her, but I was crying for myself and the fool I had been made.

There were very few times I was glad my parents hadn't gotten a television. This was one of those times. I was sick of seeing my face pasted across every newspaper as it was. I was painful enough that I had to tell everyone what had happened, but now virtually the entire world knew. A search and rescue had been started, but I knew that they wouldn't find anything. The Tsar of Russia had agreed with me that there would be little chance for those people to have survived if they had indeed wandered into the Russian wilderness. The Chinese diplomat stated that they had not received any distress signals or calls during that time period, and that there was no way the plane had crashed in China. I had assured them other wise. So the searched had begun. It would probably never end. I'm sure those natives had taken apart the aerocraft by now.
So far nothing had turned up. I didn't expect it to. I wasn't sure if I even wanted anything to show up. As Waylen had said, we had been in another world entirely different from the one I inhabited now. If they found something, would I still be able to convince myself that we hadn't been just a few hundred miles in any direction from help?

I glanced at dad's newspaper from across the table as he read it. I shoved another spoonful of cereal and milk into my mouth and chewed thoughtfully.
The faces were printed in black on the front in large sizes. The pilot, the stewardess, the vomit man, Waylen, the clinging woman and myself. My picture was the biggest and across the top in bold letter, it read:
Sole Survivor of a horrific crash and months spent lost.
I nodded once in acknowledgment and then continued eating my breakfast. There were chores to do.