Other Fan Fiction ❯ The Bionicle 2 Cast Loses Their Scripts ❯ Chapter 03 ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Wizardmonsapprentice
Spock: Captain, we have reached the point where the story stops making any sense! What should we do?!
Kirk: Reverse the polarity in the power couplings!
Scotty: Are you insane?! That will kill us all!
Kirk: Just do it!
*Everything blows up*
Wiz: And now for something completely different!

Miscellaneous: Other Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.09.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 283 | Status: Work In Progress

 
(I don't own any of the characters that appear in this fic. …What? Oh, you mean Wiz? Nah, she doesn't count, cuz she's me. See?
PS: A free imaginary cookie to anyone who can spot the Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference in this chapter! It's pretty subtle, but you'll see it if you look hard [aside: and are as big a geek as I am])
 
Chapter 3
 
Vakama is in his forge, sitting on the floor while trying to find the meaning of stuff in general.
Vakama: They call them “fingers”, but they never fing. Hold, can these robotic appendages be called fingers? What say you?
Lhikan: I dunno, ask a Toa!
Vakama, But, lo, thou art a noble Toa, worthy of great legends, yet forsook by many.
Lhikan: I am? (Gets hit in the head by a brick thrown by Omochao) OW! Uh, I mean, yeah, I am. Meanie…
Vakama: As thine birds leave the frozene wastelands for the sake of warmer weather, so must thou be here for a reason, for none leave the solitude and safety of their abode without good reason to do so.
Lhikan: What?
Silver Surfer: He's asking why you're here.
Lhikan: Oh. To himself: I hate philosophers. To Vakama: For the sake of the director's blood pressure…
Omochao: T_T
Lhikan: … I must give you this. (Hands Vakama the Toa Stone.)
Vakama: What ho! Thou hast given mineself a mysterious gift that shall, undoubtedly, set me off on a great and noble quest worthy of legend that shall be spokene for many years to come. I cannot thank thee enough, noble Knight of the Blaze.
Wiz: Can you cut the accent? It's taking me forever to type, and I'm not even sure I'm getting even half of it right.
Vakama: But, gentle lady who weaves the fate of all those who live under thy joyful sun, it is how I choose to speak, and `twas it not the disgraceful acts of Adolf Hitler who taught us all that Mata Nui's people cannot be punished for how they look or talk?
Wiz: Ah, for… why'd you have to bring him into this?! I'm gonna get flamed so much…
Vakama: For the sake of mine rights, yes.
Wiz: Fine, talk how you want. But try to keep it simple!
I go back up to the beautiful and wondrous haven of pencils and all-you-can-eat Buffalo-and-mushroom pot pies (soooo deliciouussssss...) known only as Author Space.
Lhikan: Owww, my head feels like a war drum. And the battle did NOT go in the King's favor…
Nidhiki: Why the heck do you have a headache? I'm the one who has to deal with this drugged-up loser with an IQ of -200.
Krekka: Dahhhh.... Ta-kee-toes.... (Drools)
Nidhiki: .... Please stop staring at me like that...
Lhikan: Why are you here, anyways? And while we're on the subject, where the heck did you come from?
Krekka: We came from hammerspace!
Nidhiki: Actually, we took the subway.
Lhikan: Okay, but how can you even be here when Einstein there crushed you to dust?
Nidhiki: I got better.
Lhikan: …..
Nidhiki: … Really.
Lhikan: …. Kay.
Nidhiki: As to why we're here, well, the flying blue freak says we have to capture you.
Lhikan: Oh. I see.
Nidhiki: Why d'you sound so disappointed?
Lhikan: I was actually hoping we could play a nice game of tag. But, since you have to capture me...
Nidhiki: Aw, hey, don't be so sad! We can play tag after I capture you! How's that sound?
Lhikan: Yay! That's why you're my bestest best friend, Nidhiki!
Nidhiki: Yay! Bestest best friends forever!
Director: Hey! The camera's rolling, you know! Get into character!
Lhikan: Meanie.
Nidhiki: Yeah. (Clears throat) Lhikan, this blah blah shall be blah blah blah... I forgot my lines. Let's just skip to the fight.
Nidhiki tackles Lhikan, and the fight quickly begins to resemble a game of Lacrosse (For… some reason.) In the background, Little Busters plays during the battle.
Omochao: Wait, where's that music coming from? We never agreed on this for the battle music!
Wiz: (Looks around sheepishly and kicks the radio behind her off the platform) I dunno.
Lhikan: Hah! I have you in a chokehold! Now say “uncle”!
Nidhiki: Wait! Before you make me surrender, there is something I have to tell you...
Lhikan: What? What is it?
Nidhiki: Santa Claus exists!
Lhikan: (shocked) But... No! Why did noone ever tell me before?! No! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Nidhiki grabs Lhikan while he's stunned with the horrifying revelation and him and Krekka drag him off. Meanwhile, Vakama, who had gotten into Krekka's “stash”, was now tripping out on the floor, having a drug-induced hallucination.
Vakama: Dude.... the fish, dude...
Obi-Wan Hallucination: Luke, you must use the force to save Metru Nui's heart.
Vakama: The fish?
Obi-Wan Hallucination: (impatiently) No, the force.
Vakama: The force, dude...
Obi-Wan Hallucination: Yes. That is what you must use to save the heart of Metru Nui.
Vakama: Dude, thou art totally right! I have to, like, save this force thingy by using the mayor's heart. Yeah, I can totally take this fish, dude!
Obi-Wan Hallucination: We are so doomed.
Wiz: Dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuhhhhnnn!