Other Fan Fiction ❯ The Bionicle 2 Cast Loses Their Scripts ❯ Chapter 02 ( Chapter 2 )

 

(Crap! Forgot the bios! Here you go:

 

Vakama: An avid philosopher, often goes into overly long, boring rants instead of speaking normally, which drives intelligent people (especially Matau) completely insane.

 

Nokama: A former third-rate school teacher who's addicted to stealing valuables and shiny stuff. She's even stolen things that have never existed. She is capable of Münchhausenesque feats, such as walking across a pit on a rope that had been untied at both ends by holding one end up, and surviving for hours underwater by keeping a fish in her mouth.

 

Onewa: Very anal-retentive, and doesn't believe in anything Turaga Dume says doesn't exist/happen. This is why the stuff happening around Metru Nui nowadays would be enough to make his brain implode.

 

Whenua: A former archivist who eats anything and everything. The only reason he's never gotten fired for eating half the archive exhibits is because he is one of the only matoran dumb enough to actually work there.

 

Nuju: As a matoran, he accidentally offended Mata Nui during a Temple visit and was cursed to speak in movie/webcomic/comic book/song quotes. He is actually highly intelligent, but it is nearly impossible for him to show it.

 

Matau: The only intelligent Toa (aside from Nuju) in the group. Matau is a bit of a pessimist, resulting from the sheer lunacy of his companions. He is often the one who has to rescue the others from certain death, because they're too moronic to save themselves.)

 

(As before, I don't own any of the characters in this chapter.

Also, some of Nuju's quotes may be… inaccurate. Sorry for that.)

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Matau is racing around a test track on a hoverbike.

Matoran in Control Room: (sounding really tired) Okay, Matau, that's enough! You've been at it for hours! What are we testing for, anyway?

Lhikan: And Green Guy's taking the lead, followed by Green Guy, followed by, errr, Green Guy…

MICR: What are you-

Lhikan: AND GREEN GUY'S WON!!!!!! GREEN GUY HAS WON THE ONE-PERSON 1,000,000,000 LAP CIRCUIT RACE FOR THE EIGHTH TIME IN FIVE SECONDS!!!!!!!!

Matau: (Stops Vehicle) Who the heck let him in?

Lhikan: Anyway, here's your prize! (Hands Matau his Toa Stone.)

Matau: Um, thanks… What is it?

Lhikan: I dunno. Maybe you can use it as a doorstop or something. Or you can put it in a pot and make soup.

Matau: ..... Are you completely insane?!

Lhikan: What? I like weird glowing stone soup!

Matau: .... oh-kay. I think I'd better take it to Ga-Metru. Someone there will probably know what it is.

Lhikan: Are you sure? I mean, that would be waste of a perfectly good soup ingredient!

Matau: Dude, you don't eat glowing rocks! You use them as light sources!

Lhikan: ... Oh. I guess that's why I've never kept a roommate for more than a week.

Matau: You know it.

And so Matau takes the Toa Stone and begins his epic journey to reach the Great Temple which shall not be included in this story, so nyah!

 

Onewa is sitting in his hut, holding a large rock.

Onewa: Okay. Uhhh, what am I supposed to do with this?

He hits the rock with his head and some of it falls off leaving a small statue of Dr Neo Cortex. (If you don't know who Dr Cortex is, then you have a poor, sad childhood devoid of Crash Bandicoot.)

Onewa: 0_o I'm going to have to do that more often.

Lhikan: Ooh! Very nice! How much are you selling it for?

Onewa: 3500 Yen. (For you non-Japanese readers, that's around $34-35.00 USD)

Lhikan: Three thousand, five hundred dollars?! Are you insane?!

Onewa: T_T

Lhikan: Anyway, I have to give you this, or the Director will have another Heart Attack.

Onewa: When was his last one?

Lhikan: Shortly after the Vahkii started break dancing and an old geezer showed everyone a cross-section of the director's wig.

Onewa: Ouch.

All of the sudden, the leprechaun from the Fruitopia commercial came in and started dancing, and, once again, got crushed by a small pot of gold.

Leprechaun: You make me a sad midget!

Omochao: Here's the twenty bucks I promised you for the comedy relief.

Leprechaun: You make me a happy midget!

 

Whenua is on the hoverlift in the archives.

Whenua: Ooh! Shiny Bohrok faceplate! (Eats it.) Mmm, yummers!

Lhikan: Dummy! You could have used that as a soup bowl!

Whenua: Oops.

Lhikan: Anyway, I'm supposed to give you this. Don't eat it! And go outside and follow the green dude heading to Ga-Metru. (Leaves)

Whenua: …. Lum! (Eats the Toa Stone) Oh well. So much for that. I wonder where that green matoran is … (voice trails off as he walks away)

 

Nuju is standing on top of the Knowledge Tower, looking through his telescope.

Nuju: You cannot hide….. I see you…..

Lhikan: You can?

Nuju: Search your feelings; you know it to be true.

Lhikan: Kay…. Anyway, here's a present for you!

Nuju: Fascinating. Mr. Hawkins, this map shall be kept under lock and key when not in use. Is that clear?

Lhikan: Ummm, yeah……. Well, Seeya!

Lhikan flies off with Silver Surfer.

Nuju: I've got a bad feeling about this.