Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Adam and Eve: A true History ❯ Adam and Eve: A true History ( One-Shot )

Adam and Eve: The True History.

Author's Notes: this particular fic was inspired by a wonderful picture I saw on a site not too long ago, and well, as inspiration often does, I was forced to write something about it. On another note, I am not Christian, but I have no problems with Christianity. I like Misty too.

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN POKEMON! *Sobs and melts* what a world, oh what a world…

Warnings: Shigeru x Satoshi, shoun-ai, citrus, humour, parody, slight Misty bashing.

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Adam and Eve: The True History.

~ Written by Sweetdeily.

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Satoshi = Adam

Shigeru = Satan.

Misty (since I don't know her Japanese name) = Eve.

Snake = Ekans.

God = Pikachu.

Critics = whoever you really want to see zapped. ~.^

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(In the beginning, that is, after the big bang, the genetic gene pool's manifestation, the formation of the planets, the formation of living organisms and one or two other minor details, there was God. God was the first creature to ever exist ((not including dinosaurs, algae, plants, and animals)) and He was all-powerful. Well, as the story goes, God got bored one day… moreso it was the first day ((show's how good an attention span he had ne?)) and decided to make earth. So, it took him seven days… because he stopped for lunch breaks and had trouble being creative, as there were copyrights on just about everything in those days. So, finally, after slaving for seven days, he had earth. But of course, with his short little attention span, he got bored some more and decided to play around with the cosmic juices ((who weren't very happy about this, though they couldn't do anything, as they were only juices)) And created Adam. And to Adam he said.)

God: Pikachu!

(And Adam became a man ((Because even The All Mighty make some mistakes.)) A very hansom man, with shiny black hair and beautiful eyes and smooth creamy skin and… oh, yeah, anyway God and Adam got along very well, with the occasional lightening blot being dealt out every now and then to discipline Adam. And so everything was going fine. Until of course God made the mistake of putting his favourite apple tree in the same environment as Adam, now, he warned Adam not to touch this tree, because they were his prize apples and when he got around to making the twentieth century he was going to sell them at a market.)

God: Pikachuuuu!

Adam: Okay Pikachu.

God: *hits him with a bolt of lightening*

Adam: *smoke drifting from hair* Sorry, God.

God: *smiling happily* Pikachu!

(Anyway, after a while, Adam got bored all by himself, and asked God if he could have some companionship. ((As pets hadn't been invented yet and the Dinosaurs were copyrighted, God was left with little other choice as to invent)) So God made a Woman, with shiny orange hair, and eyes like the ocean. He called her Eve. Why? Because he'd just made Dawn and the critics were never satisfied.)

God: *thunder bolts the critics* Chuu! *Smiling evilly*

Critics: *fall over with smoke drifting from their hair*

Adam: Hi Eve! *Waves*

Eve: I'M NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES! GOD! I DEMAND CLOTHING!

God: Pika, pika, pika! *Shakes head and points to bush*

Eve: You expect me to where a bush!?!

God: *nodding* Chhu.

Eve: I won't stand for this! I'm leaving!

God: *thunder bolt's her*

Eve: *smoke trailing from her hair* … on second thought the bush is fine.

Adam: *looking smug* I could have told you that was going to happen.

Eve: Then why didn't you? *Hits him on the head with a rock*

Adam: @_@ *lying passed out on the ground*

(And so it came to pass that Adam and Eve grew… annoyed at one another. And God got annoyed with them…)

God: *thunder bolts hitting everywhere* Pikachu!

Adam and Eve: *whimper and hide under a tree. *

Adam: Uh-oh.

Eve: *looking annoyed* What is it this time?

Adam: We're under God's favourite apple tree.

Eve: Ohh… apples. *Reaches toward one*

Adam: *slaps her hand away* Don't! If you eat one of them then God will chuck us both out of paradise!

Eve: You're point?

Adam: Then we'll have to wander the earth.

Eve: *reaching out again* So? What do I care.

Adam: There are no bushes out there.

That did it. Eve immediately brought her hand back and looked for another hiding place, as God was still giving everyone His wrath. -

(And so, finally God finished his hissy fit and had a sudden burst of inspiration. ((Which was rare because God's brain was the size of a rodent… and he had yellow ears…)). He decided to test His follower's loyalty, and how much he could trust them. So, he called up his archenemy, Satan and asked him a favour. Since God was the all mighty Satan didn't have much of a choice anyway. And so, Satan sent one of his minions to tempt Eve. Of course, it didn't quite work out that way…)

*Scene opens on Eve sitting under an apple tree, a few feet away is God's favourite apple tree, Eve is looking at the setting sun, Adam is no where to be found. Creeping up behind Eve is a snake, behind the snake is Satan himself, with his perfectly brushed chocolate hair and his deep eyes and his evil smirk. *

Snake: Hello Eve.

Eve: *turns and sees the snake* AAAIIIII! *Throws rocks at it* Eww! Snake! Get it away! Away!

Snake: *crying* well *sniff* I can see where I'm not wanted…

Eve: Damn straight now get away!

Snake: *Slithers off crying about no one loving it. *

Satan: *hand to head* Should have seen that one coming…

Eve: *poking Satan in the arm* Who're you cutie?

Satan: I am Satan, here to tempt you into you're deepest desires. *Gives a little bow*

Eve: *giggles slightly then looks over her shoulder* Oi! Adam! Get out here! Satan is going to tempt me and I want to see you're face.

Adam: *comes out from somewhere grumbling* I ask for a companion and this is what I get… must have done something real bad to deserve this treatment…

Eve: Shut up Baka! *Throws another rock at him and turns back to Satan* Now, you were saying.

Adam: @_@ *is lying on the ground, lump on his head*

Satan: *drool*….

Eve: *poking Satan* Are you okay?

Satan: … *drools more*

Eve: *ever the presumptuous checks to make sure she's still wearing her bush* eh?

Satan: So beautiful…. *More drooling*

Eve: *batting eyes* Why, thank you… please, continue.

Satan: Glorious… absolutely amazing… *puddle of drool is slowly forming*

Eve: Why thank you, I do try to keep up my hair care regularly.

Adam: *finally gets up and rubs his head, jumps as the snake suddenly encircles his waist* Uh? What the…

Snake: No one! Not a single living creature loves me! I'm all alone! Doesn't anyone have a heart! It's not my fault I was born with scales and a forky tongue… but t-they all blame me! *Sobs*

Adam: *pats the snake's head* There, there we've all got our faults that we cant help *looks pointedly at Eve*

Snake: *sniffing* Y-you really mean it?

Adam: Of course! Just because someone looks evil doesn't mean his or her heart isn't good.

Snake: *all happy* Wow, I feel so much better. Thank you!

Adam: ^^ you're welcome.

Satan: *Coo's softly and starts floating*… Must have…

Eve: *giggles excitedly and closes her eyes, puckering up*

Satan: *completely bypasses Eve and floats over to Adam. * Hello gorgeous, can I tempt you?

Eve: *is dumbfounded*

Adam: *Blinks* … Um, yeah?

Satan: *Wraps him up in his arms and starts kissing him passionately*

Adam: *Kissing back, grinning happily*

(At that particular moment a big gust of wind swept by, consequently knocking Eve's leaf away)

Eve: *eeps and hides behind bush screaming curses and threats at Adam and Satan* You dirty thief! That's my man! I was going to do that to him! How dare you! I'll get you for this!

Who she was talking to exactly is still a mystery…

(And so our story ends, with Adam and Satan in a tender embrace, Eve in the background screaming and God zapping the critics.)

God: Chuu! /\/\

~ The End.

Author's second notes: Finished! Yay! Anyway, did you like it? I hope so. Think I can improve? Please review! Also I'd like to thank Lita Taishi for letting me write a story about her wonderful fanart. ^^