Prince Of Tennis Fan Fiction ❯ 10 Years Later ❯ Chapter 9

"10 Years Later" Chapter 9

By Andrea Readwolf [andrea_readwolf @hotmail.com]

 

Started: June 2005.

Word Count: 3324

 

Miss something? Take a look at the <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=readwolfla ir&keyword=%22Ten+Years+Later%22&filter=all">Previous Chapters</a>

 

 

The time seemed to pass too quickly. In a blink of an eye, the last traces of summer were gone and winter was seeping icy fingers into the ground. The last day of September saw the high temperature suddenly drop into the sixties and refuse to be budged higher. Chotaroh helped Karina pull out the storage bags filled with autumn and winter clothes, but he was more than grateful when the maid took over the odorous task of washing all those clothes and airing out the blankets.

 

The nursery was also coming along, and Karina stopped worrying that it would never be ready in time. Karina's pregnancy was also coming along, and Chotaroh began worry more and more the worse she looked. Both Chotaroh and Ryoh worried about her, but neither would voice their concerns. Chotaroh's mother took to visiting the Shishido home more often, and Karina seemed to brighten considerably during those visits.

 

In mid-October, Jiroh announced they were having a baby shower and 'not to worry, everything's already been planned!'

 

Chotaroh was a little surprised by just how many people showed up, most of them complete strangers who seemed to know him, which was unsettling to say the least. He tried to hide out in the kitchen and then the nursery, but women seemed to find him no matter where he hid. Not everyone was an overly-familiar stranger, at least, and he recognized several of the young mothers from the neighborhood and chatted easily-enough with some of Ryoh's coworkers.

 

"Jiroh must have put the guest-list together himself," Karina told him disgustedly as he helped her to bed afterwards. "I don't talk to half those women anymore--they're old friend from school, you know. Like I'd have anything in common with them. Most of them probably just came to see if they could get a peek at Ryoh. Oh, but you sure shocked them, you can bet that."

 

She chuckled, but even her amusement couldn't hide her fatigue. "The rumors are probably already flying like crazy over cyber space."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Mmm. Kiss?" she murmured, turning her face towards his, and he obliged willingly enough, dropping a small little kiss against her lips as she settled back into bed. "Mmn, thank you. Will you turn the fan on? It's too hot in here..."

 

"What am I? Your slave?" he teased, pleased to see her smile even if it was at his expense.

 

"That would be nice. Get you a special collar and..." She continued on in a sleepy jumble of sounds that he couldn't make out. He shook his head with tender amusement and left her to her nap.

 

Before the end of October, her doctor confined Karina to her bed. Her depression was as palatable as fake butter, and as easy to melt away as solid rock. She hated the inactivity. "It gives me too much time to think," she would complain.

 

"I feel like I'm a criminal or something," Karina announced morbidly another afternoon.

 

"Don't say that," Chotaroh snapped, more harshly than he'd meant to. He had to force himself to calm down. "The doctor said there might be--"

 

"Chotaroh. Don't," she cut him off with whispered words.

 

Neither one looked at each other. They wouldn't, they couldn't. Her due date, over a month away, hung over their heads like a death sentence.

 

Karina spent many days locked up in their room, reading or writing. Sometimes she welcomed his company, and Chotaroh would play for her, or read to her. Sometimes they would watch a movie together. But more and more often, Karina chased him away.

 

Those days he spent confused, hurt, and torn. He wanted Ryoh there; he wanted to talk to his old partner. But everyday Ryoh escaped the house, leaving Chotaroh and Karina as he went off to school with Marika and didn't return until the sky was a dark, purplish bruised color.

 

Chotaroh didn't mind spending time with Karina. But, sometimes he just wanted.... He wanted not to be in the middle of this, to not have to deal with this. Not have to worry about Karina's health; not have to think about how one day the young woman who he cared about would not be there anymore.

 

It made him feel weak and pathetic, because he didn't know what to do to help anymore. And he wanted to help. He would have done anything to make things better. But Karina refused to listen and Ryoh just continued to say it was her choice.

 

The choice tasted like bile, though. Rancid and burning, choking him.

 

Marika was another sore subject among the three adults. Chotaroh was painfully aware that he had little say in how to raise the girl. She was not his child. Everyday he had to watch the little girl deal with her mother bedridden and obviously very sick, but her parents refused to tell her that her mother was actually dying.

 

Mother and daughter would talk together most nights-- just the two of them up in the master bedroom, no boys allowed-- but Chotaroh knew Karina never told the child that she was dying. Chotaroh tried to talk to Ryoh about it, but after that one night several months ago, Ryoh refused to discuss anything about death or the possibility that Karina would not be there after the twins' arrival.

 

Before the end of October, Chotaroh completely gave up the pretense of living in his apartment, using the rooms more as a work studio than anything else. More often he stayed at the Shishido house in one of the downstairs' rooms with a keyboard and several music sheets set up on the coffee table. He only returned to his apartment when the maid was at the house or his mother or sister was visiting. Sometimes Karina's father stopped in or Jiroh---it served to break up the otherwise long, monotonous days of confinement--both his and Karina's.

 

It was mid-November when he was taking lunch up to her that he heard harsh breathing and rushed into the room.

 

"Karina!" he cried out, alarmed at finding the young woman sweating profusely despite the cold November air and clenching the sheets hard enough to tear them.

 

"Is--Are you--"? Chotaroh sputtered setting the lunch tray down haphazardly on a night table. "I'll call the doctor!"

 

"NO!" Karina gasped, relaxing back into the bed, panting. "No," she repeated. "They're just prelabour contractions. Nothing to worry about..."

 

"But, the doctor said," he began before she cut him off again.

 

"No, he's just going to tell us to come into the hospital," Karina grunted, "and I don't--"

 

"Karina, please," he interrupted. "Please, let's just call the doctor, and if he tells us to come in, let's go. Please. It won't hurt just to make sure everything is all right. Right?"

 

She relented, grudgingly.

 

Her doctor did insist they come in immediately, even ordering Chotaroh to wait for an ambulance. "It's not unusual for multiple births to arrive early. Better to be safe, especially in Shishido-san's case."

 

Chotaroh wasted no time in helping a very irritated Karina downstairs and then calling Ryoh, but the other man was still in classes. Chotaroh left a message. Karina continued to be annoyed with him up past the point where the nurses and hospital staff rushed her away, motioning him off towards a waiting room.

 

Everything seemed strangely surreal. His entire life had become surreal, he thought, staring at the drink machine, trying to decide what he should pretend to drink while he waited.

 

His cell phone sang just as he was slipping his coins into the slot, and he fumbled for it, grateful for the distraction.

 

"Chotaroh, what's up? I called the house, but no one answered. Where are you?"

 

"We're at the hospital," he answered wearily, leaning against the drink machine relieved to hear Ryoh's calm controlled voice. "She was having pains, and the doctor sent an ambulance, and--"

 

"What did the doctor say," Ryoh asked.

 

"We just got here. They wouldn't let me stay with her. I'm in the waiting room, just... waiting."

 

"Okay, well don't worry. I'm sure it's not serious. Karina's not due for another four weeks yet, so I wouldn't worry about it. I'll call again after afternoon classes, all right? Or you call me if the doctor says something's wrong. I'll get permission to leave early. Until then, just hold on, okay?"

 

The line went dead before Chotaroh could even think of an appropriate response.

 

Chotaroh wanted to shout at Ryoh. To scream and shout and, yes, even hit the other man. 'How the hell can you be so callous,' he wanted to ask. 'You're wife's dying. Don't you even care?'

 

But that wasn't fair. He knew Ryoh cared--that's why the other man was so drastically trying to distance himself like this. Chotaroh often wondered if Ryoh would still be distancing himself from his wife if he wasn't here. What would have happened to Karina, alone, all day, every day?

 

'I feel like a prisoner.'

 

His phone went off again before anyone from the hospital staff came for him, but it was his mother, not Ryoh.

 

"Hey, baby," she sang over the phone. "I called at the house, but no one answered. Is everything okay?"

 

"I don't know," he confessed. "Karina was having some pains, and now we're at the hospital. No one's come to tell me anything, and Ryoh's still at work, and I'm just sitting here, waiting, and I feel so damn useless and--"

 

"Chotaroh."

 

He looked up at his name, surprised, but also relieved, staring back at the man standing in the doorway.

 

"Ryoh."

 

Ryoh looked away first, continuing to stand in the door way as he absently reached up to fiddle with his tie. "I, uh, was able to get someone to cover my classes, so, uh..."

 

"Chotaroh?" his mother's voice called over the phone line. "What's happening?"

 

"Mom? Can I call you back? Ryoh's here."

 

"Sure baby. You just hang in there, all right."

 

Chotaroh continued to stare at Ryoh, absently clicking his mobile phone shut and pocketing.

 

The silence was filled with intercom calls and soap opera music airing on a tiny TV set up in the corner.

 

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Ryoh finally said, stepping the rest of the way into the room and allowing the door to slide shut behind him. He didn't seem quite able to meet Chotaroh's look directly, but he was facing him, at least. He was there, at least, at the hospital, with him. He wasn't someplace else.

 

"I'm sorry you've been caught up in all this. I wish----I wish--"

 

"Would--" Chotaroh started, but then he hesitated. "Do you want me to go?"

 

Ryoh looked startled, and a little knot of fear Chotaroh hadn't admitted to feeling uncurled and relaxed.

 

"No! Hell, no, gods." Ryoh thrust a hand back through his hair which was coming loose from its ponytail; thin, sweaty strands stuck to his face and neck. "I--I don't think I can do this, Chotaroh. Not alone; not without you. Christ, that's why I'm sorry. Cause I got you involved with all this shit."

 

"I got myself involved in 'all this shit'," Chotaroh corrected softly. "No one forced me. I came back to Japan on my own, remember? I walked up to you. That was my choice, Ryoh. I chose to be here, but, dammit, Ryoh." His voice cracked, but at this point, Chotaroh didn't care. "I can't handle this alone, either."

 

"You shouldn't have to handle any of it, at all," Ryoh growled, but Chotaroh just stood there, shaking his head.

 

"Neither should you, but that doesn't mean we won't or we can't."

 

"Fuck, Chotaroh," he whispered, slumping and reaching out to pull the taller man to him. "I'm sorry," Ryoh repeated, pressing his face against Chotaroh's shoulder.

"Will you stop saying you're sorry already!" the taller man growled, holding onto the other man just as tightly as Ryoh was holding on to him. "It's not helping anyone. You don't need to apologize to me."

 

Chotaroh stepped away suddenly, turning Ryoh back towards the door and pushing him firmly. "What you need to do is go out there and demand some information because no one will tell me anything!"

 

Ryoh managed to prevent Chotaroh from shoving him right out of the room again, and when Chotaroh looked ready to snap something else at him, Ryoh spoke first.

 

"Thank you. Thank you for being here, for staying with 'Rina." His fingers brushed against Chotaroh's neck. "Thank you for coming back, for finding me--for being here."

 

And then, to punctuation his words, Ryoh kissed him.

 

"Otori-san? Oh! And Shishido-san, I see," a friendly-sounding voice interrupted the scene. "Good afternoon, glad you could make it."

 

Karina's doctor cleared his throat in a small, embarrassed gesture as the two men practically leapt apart. "We've, uh, managed to stabilize your wife's condition, and we'll continue to monitor her closely. It may not be possible for Shishido-san to carry the fetuses to full term, but the longer we postpone delivery, the better chance those babies will have. Still..."

 

The aging doctor hesitated continuing, looking at each man in turn. "If we deliver now, the chance of both babies surviving a premature birth at this time is good, and there's the added chance that with a sooner delivery...." The doctor's frown increased. "Shishido-san, your wife is still refusing to listen to anything about reconstructive surgery. I still believe that there is a chance, if we go in sooner, rather than later, we might be able to salvage some of her other organs and ultimately save her life."

 

He looked steadily at Ryoh now. "But she will not sign the release papers. Shishido-san, will you sign the permission forms to allow me to do everything possible to save your wife's life?"

 

Ryoh frowned. "Karina doesn't want to do the surgery."

 

Chotaroh wanted to reach out to him physically, but held back saying only, "Ryoh....."

 

"But surely to save your wife's life, Shishido-san?" the doctor pressed.

 

Ryoh closed his eyes. "You are Karina's doctor, sensei. When the time comes, I will trust you to take care of her."

 

Chotaroh sighed and nodded, his smile sad but encouraging. "Doctor, when can see Karina?"

 

The older man looked relieved as well. "The nurses are setting her into a private room. Follow me, I'll show you the way."

 

"Doctor," Shishido stopped him. "Is--is it possible, I mean, is there a chance that she could survive?"

 

The other man looked grim. "Right now in order to support her pregnancy, her uterus has attacked the other organs of her body like a cancer. Until we get in there, we can't be sure of just how much damage has been done, but yes. It is my belief that there is still a chance. Not a very good chance, true, but a chance."

 

 

~~**~~

 

 

Karina looked sickly, more sickly than he ever remembered her looking, lying there in that sterilized room, hooked to wires and machines. There were dark shadows under both eyes that Ryoh didn't remember seeing there that morning, and her eyes were glassy with pain and what he hoped was medicine.

 

"Ryoh... you came..."

 

"Of course, I came, toots," he replied, sitting gingerly on a small fraction of the bed, taking the hand she held out to him. Was it his imagination, or had he just failed to notice how weak she'd become, he wondered as he leaned over to press a soft little kiss to her forehead.

 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, not knowing what else to say at this moment.

 

"Don't be. Don't be sorry," she told him softly, her eyes closing, but she was smiling as her fingers tangled with his.

 

"It's not you, Ryoh," Karina stated calmly. "If you're sorry about something you always go out and fix it, change it somehow, with no thought of how impossible it is or why it should or shouldn't be fixed... But this? You can't fix or change this, Ryoh, so don't be sorry."

 

A hand pressed against his cheek, forcing him to look up and really see her laying there in the hospital bed. Seeing her here like this, it really brought home the reality, the fact that his wife of ten years was dying.

 

Glassy brown eyes studied his face, and her smile was sad. "Instead, take that determination and spirit that I love so much about you and focus on being a good daddy." Her other hand squeezed his, a reminder to be strong. "You're going to have to show Chotaroh how it's done, after all," she teased.

 

"Karina." Chotaroh came up behind him, hesitantly reaching out a hand to rest against her leg. "The doctor wants to keep you here for observation."

 

"I know," she said, her hand dropping away from Ryoh's face, and she slumped back into the bed.

 

"Chotaroh? Why don't you head back to the house," Ryoh suggested. "I'll stick around here for a while, and--"

 

He turned to look at the other man. He'd noticed it earlier when he arrived at the hospital, but even in comparison to Karina, Chotaroh still looked like hell. And Ryoh told him so.

 

"Thanks," Chotaroh muttered.

 

"No, really. It's okay," Ryoh insisted. "Go home and get some rest. I'll be back in time for dinner, and then afterwards we can come back with Marika. Is that okay?" he thought to check with his wife.

 

"Mmm," Karina nodded. "That's fine. Really, Chotaroh. Ryoh's right. You look horrible."

"Not half as bad as you do," he returned.

 

"Ha ha," she mocked. "Go home while you can. Ryoh and I will be fine here all by our lonesomes, so you don't have to babysit us."

 

Chotaroh's eyes widened at that, and he quickly excused himself, kissing Karina on the cheek and touching Ryoh's shoulder in passing before leaving. Karina groaned when he was gone.

 

"I shouldn't have said that," she exhaled, and even Ryoh was frowning.

 

"I'll talk to him tonight," he promised.

 

"It doesn't matter," Karina answered. "Even after these past months if he still feels like--"

 

But Ryoh interrupted her. "It hasn't been easy. For him, for anyone, really."

 

The silence was uncomfortable under the weight of all the things left unsaid between them, and Ryoh realized this was actually the first time in months that he was really alone with his wife. He pulled up one of the visitor arm chairs and settled for a long wait.

 

"I'm gonna ask to start my leave next week," he announced finally.

 

Karina started from her own beehive of thoughts. "Why?" she asked. "I thought we'd agreed you'd start at the beginning of Winter Break and then--"

 

He frowned, his look forcing her words to trail off.

 

"'Rina," he said calmly--with more calm than he thought himself capable of. "You're not going to last that long. The doctors, they're gonna to try and delay delivery for a little longer, but..."

 

He shook his head. She looked away.

 

"Besides," he added after clearing his throat. "It's not fair to Chotaroh, you know? Being at home by himself and taking care of things while I head off to school everyday?" He shook his head. "I should be home; I should be here with you, too."

 

"We--Chotaroh and I--we understood," Karina told him softly. "Besides, what will you do if you're not working? What can you do, Ryoh?"

 

His lips tightened into a thin white line.

 

"Stay there a little bit longer," she pressed. "Or, or at least don't start all at once. Maybe you can, I don't know, phase out for a week or two?" she suggested as an alternative.

 

He still didn't look happy, though. But he did agree. "I'll... I'll talk to the head teacher tomorrow," he promised.

 

But even that option was taken from him.

 

 

~~~****~~~

 

TBC