Prince Of Tennis Fan Fiction ❯ Three am ❯ Fuji Syuusuke ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Why, yes, I do indeed own TeniPuri. Konomi Takeshi stole it from me. *Rolls eyes* Ha. I wish. xDD I laugh at myself in… muffinness. o.0

Rating: … PG? Maybe?

Warnings: Um, good question. Shounen-ai, angst.

Summary: We take a tentative peek into the mind of Fuji Syuusuke at three am. Lord have mercy on our souls.

Author's notes: It's pretty damn late at night. I couldn't sleep. So, I'm making Fujiko suffer along with me, mwa! ^_~ Oh, and I spent a few minutes agonising over it, but I decided to follow the anime canon regarding Tezuka's rehab thing, simply because my mum has something against people from Kyoto o.0 Bless her. She grew up in Hokkaido, so I guess all the snow interfered with her brain, ne? xDD

 

…^^;; I love you, `Kaa-san. *creeps out back door*

 

Ahem. Sorry for the pointless author's notes. On with the drabble!

 

 

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There's the gentle patter of rain hitting the roof and his bedroom window, droplets of water clinging for a moment to the glass before sliding, almost painfully, down to the outside sill. There's the reassuring warmth of his blankets - not too many, otherwise it'll be too hot for him to sleep - tucked around his waist. There's the gentle scent of his sister's perfume, still there from when she came into his room earlier to complain about her boyfriend.

 

And there's always the feeling of knowing that he's lucky, lucky to be one of very few people Tezuka has taken into confidence and formed a real friendship with.

 

But somehow, it's just not enough. And Fuji Syuusuke, lying awake at three am, staring at his ceiling… he knows it. And he knows that he knows it, but chooses to ignore it. It's one of the things he reckons he's really good at. Not out of neccessity, but simply because it's always been easy for him to live in a world of his own making. Yumiko nee-san calls it his `eccentricity' with a fond smile. Yuuta just puts it down to general Aniki-ness.

 

Whatever it is, it's a constant nagging presence at the back of his mind that he hasn't been able to figure out. For over two months, for crying out loud. He prides himself on being able to logically work his way through a problem without much difficulty, but this one has him stumped. Therefore, he ignores it.

 

It became easier when Tezuka left for Germany. That's when he worked out that it had something to do with the stoic captain - well, no, that's twisting the truth. He'd always suspected it, but Tezuka's absence confirmed it. It became easier to do things, to concentrate. Fuji couldn't explain it, but when Tezuka was there, every day, it was painful. Not in a way that meant he was suffering, but just… difficult.

 

He isn't a melodramatic person by nature. He likes to start up melodrama, generally through Eiji, but he isn't melodramatic himself.

 

But you can be anyone and anything you want at three am. That's what Taka-san said once - in a different context, granted, but he still said it.

 

Taka… Syuusuke's stomach squirms oddly at the thought of his boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend - they've been dating for, what, nearly a month now? Dear, kind Taka, always ready with a reassuring smile and those innocent eyes of his. It's a source of constant amazement for Syuusuke that his boyfriend can be so filled with fire and strength on court, and so quiet and gentle off it. So… innocent. Maybe even more so than Eiji.

 

That's one of the little hurdles in their relationship. For Syuusuke, anyway. He finds it a little difficult, sometimes, to be close to someone like that. Probably because he isn't innocent. He's cynical as hell, although only Tezuka, Yumiko nee-san and probably Inui know it. It's an obligatory curse that comes naturally with high intelligence mixed with a twist of mischeivous personality; his childhood friend Saeki has it too, and so does Inui to a lesser degree.

 

Don't misunderstand - Taka-san constantly reaffirms Syuusuke's faith in humanity, just like Eiji does. But he never gets why Syuusuke silently laughs when he sees people jogging in the early morning, or some harried-looking businessman trying to catch the attention of a colleague, or charity volunteers shaking small buckets with strained smiles on their faces. He'll smile and chuckle, because when Syuusuke's amused, Taka's happy. But he never gets it.

 

Tezuka might not share the same sense of humour (few do, he knew), but he does understand why Fuji finds these things funny. And he'll always raise an eyebrow slightly, silently telling the smirking tensai that he has the strangest sense of humour. This in turn just makes Fuji laugh more.

 

Seigaku's tennis captain understands him in a way that Taka-san never will. Syuusuke doesn't want Taka to understand him like that, because he wants to protect and cherish his rare innocence for as long as he can. But it only means that they can't be as close as maybe they'd like to be.

 

There's a quiet bleeping noise from the corner of his room. It startles him and he sits up, before belatedly recognising it as his mobile phone. He doesn't wonder who could be texting him at this hour; instead, he just gets up and fishes around in his tennis bag until he finds it, hurrying back to the warmth of his bed before opening the message.

 

He's surprised to see Tezuka's number flash across the screen. He frowns slightly, quickly calculating in his head and working out that it's a little past eight pm over there, since Germany is seven hours behind. But Tezuka is very considerate about the time difference, and never phones or texts if it's not a reasonable hour in Japan. Almost worried now, Syuusuke opens up the message. It reads; `I'm sorry if I have woken you. But chances are you're awake anyway, yes? I remembered something important and wanted to ask before I forget. Could you tell Oishi tomorrow that he should pick up my notebooks from my house tomorrow after school if he still wants them for the mathematics test. Thank you. Tezuka.'

 

It's pretty long, as text messages go, especially considering the sender's identity. That was something Syuusuke had discovered about Tezuka. He seemed to make up for his lack of speech by writing long, sometimes most un-Tezukalike rambly emails, letters, text messages, anything to do with writing.

 

He doesn't realise that he's been staring at the screen in thought until the light abruptly turns itself off. He blinks a few times, eyes adjusting to the loss of light, then he smiles a small smile and texts Tezuka back.

 

`Yes, I'm awake. But not for long. ^_^ I'll remember to tell Oishi. Good night.'

 

He presses the send button and watches the whimsical cartoon envelope whizz across the screen before locking the keypad and dropping the phone onto the floor beside his bed. He would normally have a futon, but he was struck by one of his sudden whims some days ago and persuaded his nee-san to swap her western bed for his futon for a while.

 

He lies back slowly, head hitting the pillow with a comfortable thump. And as a particularly large raindrop hits the window, images of Tezuka in Germany gliding across his mind, Syuusuke closes his eyes and exhales unhappily. He's finally worked it out.

 

He always knew that he wasn't in love with Taka. He loved him like he loved Eiji; as a very good friend. But he's not in love with him. He can't be, because you can't be in love with two people at once, or so says Yumiko nee-san.

 

Taka makes him happy. Genuinely happy. Tezuka doesn't. That's the bare bones of it. It could change, but something tells him it won't. Something tells him that he doesn't really want it to.

 

It's complicated, like many things in his life. In everybody's life.

 

It's not enough. He knows it, and knows he knows it. And now that he knows why…

 

He's going to ignore it. He's practical as well as cynical. With Taka, he's happy. Love is probably overrated, right? Right. Besides, he'll grow to love Taka more like a boyfriend, a lover, should. All it takes is time.

 

He glances over to the silently ticking clock on his desk.

 

You can be anyone and anything you want at three am.

 

“I love you,” he whispers into the darkness. And on the other side of the world, Tezuka Kunimitsu whispers it back.

 

 

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Sandy: … Hmm. I wasn't sure where the hell I was heading with this. I'm not entirely sure I like it o.0 xDD Eh, well, it's late. *Yawns* I would absolutely LOVE a review! ^-^ Please? Constructive criticism is especially welcomed. I might do some more three am drabbles for some of the other characters… Waddaya think? Worth doing, or a waste of time? Please let me know!