Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Don't you know it's love ❯ Chapter 3

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Three
(POV: Saotome Ranma)
I seem to be a crazy-people magnet. But still, the last thing I expected was to have the high-and-mighty "dragon-descendant" from China at the door of the Dojo informing me that he'd be staying in Nerima until next year.
I'd expected to see Kirin give up pickles before that happened.
"It wasn't my choice," he said like that was a reason, then was gone. Right then I hadn't cared. I'd just gone back to fending off the assorted oddballs I've attracted with my "magnetism."
It wasn't until Mousse showed up that I heard of Herb again. Not Herb, exactly.
"That wolf brat! He took Shampoo!"
"Again? Well, hang around at the Nekohanten, they're bound to be there-"
"Not THAT way!"
He explained, and my first impulse was, frankly, to cheer.

***

Perfume declined an offer of ramen. "I have something for you," she said, and began to rummage through her bag. "You fell into Maonichuan, right?"
"That's right. I wish it wasn't."
Perfume finally produced a tightly capped and taped plastic bottle, filled with water. A tape label on the other side was visible.
Shampoo lifted an eyebrow just the right amount. "It's water."
"Not just any water."
And then Perfume rotated the bottle so they could read the label: NYANNICHUAN WATER.
Shampoo jumped on the table and shrieked with pleasure. "Nyannichuan water! I'm cured, I'm cured!"
"Not quite yet, Shampoo," Cologne shouted over the din, rescuing the precious item from being trampled.
"Oh, and something else. Give it to Mousse when he gets back, is that all right?"
Shampoo stopped cheering and sweatdropped. Mousse! It figures she would talk about Mousse now. Perfume was an idiot where Mousse was concerned. "What?"
Perfume set another bottle on the table. This was larger, about the size of a soda bottle. It read NANNICHUAN WATER.
Shampoo and Cologne were momentarily struck dumb. Then they began talking at the same time.
"For MOUSSE? But Ranma-"
"One of my future sons-in-law has an even worse-"
"No not for Mousse give it to Ranma!"
"-affliction and would you mind-"
"Please Perfume if you are my loyal friend-"
"Perhaps we could divide it…"
"-to Ranma!"
"But that other lad, the Hibiki boy-"
"No no not to Mousse, Ranma Ran-"
"At any rate we can't let THEM divide it, they'd wind up spilling it with their luck concerning these things… you're SURE that's the Nannichuan right?"
Perfume paused for a moment, absorbing the speech. "Yes," she replied, "the labels are right. If you need more Nannichuan, I could always go back and get more. It wouldn't be a problem. But," she continued, "Ancestor Cologne, I didn't know you had another descendant."
"When did I say I did?"
"But you said one of your future-"
"-sons in law had a curse worse than Mousse's," Cologne finished. "Well, I might as well explain… Shampoo currently has two fiancés."
Perfume gaped, her already-large eyes expanding even more. "Two?"
"Yes. One, Saotome Ranma, the one I referred to, and-"
"How could anything be worse than turning into a duck?"
"For a man, turning into a woman."
If her eyes got any bigger, Shampoo thought, they'd pop out of their sockets. "And the other one?"
"Mint. He's fifteen, one of what's left of the Jakou Ouchou, and-"
"He's WHAT?"
"-although it was in a way an accident, Ranma's defeat of Shampoo was hardly less so. So for now…"
"A Jakou Ouchou member? What are the Jakou Ouchou doing here anyway?"
Cologne sighed yet again. "I don't know, therefore I can not tell you."
"All right." Perfume picked up the bottles. "So these should wait for your wedding, correct?"
"For my second wedding-yes."

***

(POV: Herb)

Mint was demented with happiness because he had to marry some Joketsuzoku girl.
The Jakou Ouchou and the Joketsuzoku have been at each other's throats for centuries. It's only natural, I suppose. We have a patriarchal civilization, while that of the Joketsuzoku is matriarchal. They treat their men much like we treat our women. Their warriors are almost all female, while I have yet to meet a Jakou Ouchou woman who was a fighter.
Sometimes, I learned, we approve pacts with them. Generally, the things agreed to include our females joining with their males, and vice versa. They never lasted more than one generation, I learned. The last one was approved in the Year of the Dragon 1976, and lasted till the next one. It was this pact that produced Lime and Mint. Not me, though.
Though I doubt Lime's mother was as stupid as he is.
Anyway, Mint was happy, Lime was jealous of Mint, and I ignored them both.