Romance Fan Fiction / Horror Fan Fiction / Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Uncountable Mistakes of a Vampire ❯ Repentance ( Chapter 1 )

`Twist of fate'—
 
`Coincidence'—
 
`Chance' 212;
 
`Luck'—
 
 
       My friends, nothing happens by accident, as I have found out already. We are all puppets; our strings are pulled, telling us to walk this way, to do what they want us to do. Even I, who has lived for many centuries, have yet to discover the instigator of such power. The circumstances I was in, left my fate in abyss. Becoming what I have never came to me as a coincidence, and it most certainly never came to me as something that happened, and it had a meaning for future reference. It would never help me in the future, never.
 
      I despise what I am; for turning into a creature of the night... is a monster that has not a meaning to life anymore. I could most certainly exploit myself, and make every living human fear me for what I am. They would scheme such unspeakable plans behind my back, and when it came to the day they would emit their plan, it would become nothing but a mere chance of killing me; what good that would do. I cannot die. I've tried every despicable way to do it, and nothing had ever worked.
 
      I tried starving myself of the wretched blood that so daily becomes a hassle. It helped none, and the lust of it took over. I tired to make another—of what I am—to do the job for me, yet they refused not wanting to destroy the creation of another one of their kind. I even tried suicidal attempts by jumping off a high peak of the mountain. Nothing worked! My wounds, they would all heal instantly.
 
      I gave up; I could no longer find a way to make, what I longed for, happened. Never once in the days that went by did I find a feeling of adoration for another. But, of course, I wasn't in the place where I found her. A thought of her that came into my mind never escaped. We had met many years before she was a grown woman; she was just a small juvenile teen that was suffering with her problems as well as others. I had watched her very carefully unknowingly to why I always did so.
 
      An exuberant sight it had been when she first caught sight of me watching her while I was leaning against her school fence. That day she had stared unintentionally at me, and never once did I take my eyes off of her. After moments her friends dragged her away, and I only got suspicious second glances from them. The thing was, I never deliberated on anything like me feeling such...devotion, affection...hunger for her. I only meant to direct her away from vigilant eyes to feast upon her succulent blood.
 
      The few times I had been almost so close, she was just within my reach; I could not grab her. I could not lead her away from where she belonged and that had set me off. I decided that I needed a very long time off from her, as well as this city. Four years I had wasted my time (not that I didn't have enough of it) at another city. Through that long period of time, I had found that she would slip into my mind from time to time, but it persisted long enough to become a nuisance, and make me come back to show myself that I didn't have one problem in destroying the wench. 
 
      She had to have been the most beautiful creature I have seen, and though I had come here to do away with her, in the end I had placed myself in a setup, and what more: I was deceiving myself blind by the beautiful girl that was placed in front of me. I never did approach her after I saw her divine golden hair, and her wonderful green eyes. The contour of her body was absolutely perfect, and this once plain, and ordinary girl turned into a sublime, exceptional woman.
 
      I always crept behind her in the shadows, and in someway, I believe, she knew I was following her. At times I thought about taking her for my own, turning her into what I am. That thought would never come true, no matter how much I wanted it. I wouldn't want to see the light in her eyes fade. I didn't want to see the light that I had come to be so fond of ebb. I felt my fascination with this woman to grow too much, and it seemed that I had fallen prey to her and not the other way around.
 
      I could see, that she would have that frequent look of familiarity in her eyes when I would walk passed her. At some point she stopped me and asked me to join her for lunch. I apologized to her that I couldn't eat with her (The reason for this is because I do not have a developed taste for food like I used to) but responded with a simple yes of joining her. It happened to be that day where she questioned about how cold I was...I never responded, and little did I know whom I was associating with was not only the one I longed for but also my adversary. She could, and almost was, my death.
 
      What I'm getting at, is meeting her was not a coincidence; it was not a meaning to my life. It never did help me in the future, but it was no accident. The instigator all primarily planned it out; the one's who are in my way of making every living human run in fear from me was her kind. She was a slayer. I did not realize this, for later I had found out, while I had been gone for those short four years, she had been in training to kill my kind. And she had excelled rapidly; her precision in finding the right vampire to kill was dead right; literally.
 
      When I had heard what she was I knew that neither of us could be for one another. It was possibly the most unjust thing that could happen. All this time she knew what I was, and she was preparing for the right time and place to do so. I knew this as soon as she first hinted to me of how she hated people who killed others. She hated me.
 
      If only she realized how much I drowned myself in her from the very beginning I saw her. But I would never admit it to her, nor myself. If it was a fight she wanted, then a fight she was going to get. It didn't matter if I died or not, it was all I ever knew—wanted—from the start. I waited for her that very night, watching carefully as the fog closed in around her. I stood obscure to her as she traveled along through the moist grass. She was planted there, and the wind blew her hair in front of her face. The distinct difference of her facial expression was the calm, serene face she used to have to the undying flash of distaste she now looked at me with.
 
      I made my approach from the shadows and calmly walked out. That night was wretched. Every few hits I brought upon her threw her off into pain. She was strong; she took my blows and brought them right back at me. In the end her fights were not enough, I had no intention of killing her, but only loving her. I have made many uncountable mistakes during my lifetime, but none as gruesome as this. I watched her breath heavily on the ground; I saw the blood that poured from her stomach.
 
      In all the centuries I have lived, I have yet to see something as painful as this. That night I kneeled beside her and picked her up in my arms. She had no strength to fight me in order to make me let her go and lie on the floor half dead. I caressed her cheek, and watched her face turn from the lovely cream color she once was to the awful pale color in which I've become. She closed her eyes in pain, and tears formed at the corner of them. She sobbed and I could only envisage what agony she must be feeling.
 
      She grabbed my shirt tightly and pulled me down, whispering; crying. How painful it was just to listen to her. How painful it was when she told me she wanted me to kill her. Was it even possible to be in so much pain she wanted to get her life over with? I couldn't believe what I had done. She was my everything, and I killed her in the end. Such harsh I told myself: I killed her...
 
      After that final day I had spoke to her, I was never able to see her again. I no longer had such enrapture in seeing the things around me while she was still alive. I didn't look at things as deep as I used to, and I've become rather ignorant to the things around me. And I probably won't ever be the same again. It was once a rather splendid idea to find the adoration that I so dreamed of. But now, it will most likely become a dream. And I know for a fact that it won't ever happen.
 
      I know, because I refuse to let it take place.
 
      That is how I figured out how most things do not happen by accident. It was all because of a blood feud that had happened many years before. I had served my actions, and I had known fully well that in the end someone was going to depart this life. I apparently was never to leave. Such things by the man controlling the strings are unjust. But I suppose it's a little too late to say, since I've suffered the worst of it.
 
As contraries are known by contraries, so is the delight of presence best known by the torments of absence.

 

 

A/N: Bonjour! I'm very proud to say I wrote this! Indeed, um, if I might add, this happens to be in a guy Point of View. Just to let you know, several times it had been mistaken as girl, girl. But, trust me, I do not write that kind of...pairings if that's the correct statement. In any case enjoy what you have so far, I know, it's kind of miserably horrible, but eh, this was written a long time ago. So yes, ^_^. Well, this possibly won't be my last one, but I won't update as much. He-he, so yeah, pretty much all I have to say. R&R