Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Back Home To You ❯ Chapter Six ( Chapter 7 )

Title: Back Home To You

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and all its characters do not belong to me. I am just borrowing them for a little while. The premise for this story is from the book The Wedding by Julie Garwood.

Premise: Kaoru asked Kenshin to marry her when she was three? And now the Battousai has come back, fifteen years later to claim his bride.

A/N: Christmas is here! /dances around happily/ Come Christmas gifts! Come to me! Mwahahaha! /cackles maniacally/ Christmas Vacation will come soon and the next thing you know another school year will start…but not before SUMMER VACATION! Ha! Okay…enough of my babbling…on with the fic!

o

 

Chapter Six

 

Kaoru sat down in bed gripping the collar of her yukata as she looked over at Tsubame's sleeping form on the pallet at the end of the bed.

She'd retired early, leaving Kenshin to talk with Sano and Aoshi downstairs. Her stomach felt queasy and she hadn't been able to eat anything at dinner.

 

“ We share one room.”

 

The thought of what was coming was enough to rob her of her appetite.

 

“That means we share one bed.”

 

Kenshin wouldn't try anything with Tsubame in the room…right?

 

Well he could always send her out Kaoru…

 

Kaoru licked her dry lips, her fingers gripping the cloth so hard her knuckles were turning white. She felt cold and anxious.

 

“We're married remember?”

 

“ We share one room.”

 

“That means we share one bed.”

 

“Kaoru, when I get done with you, you'll not only bear it, you will beg for it.”

 

“Once and only briefly. After that there is nothing more than pleasure,”

 

“Don't worry, you will enjoy it. I will see to it.”

 

Kaoru eyelids fluttered as she remembered exactly what he'd looked like, wet in the water with his glorious hair around his face. She shivered…from fear of course.

Right?

Of course right!

“No matter how good his touches feel…it's always going to end in blood…” Kaoru whispered to the empty room as her haunted eyes saw everything she had learned and seen since her uncle had come to live with Megumi and her. “But I promised him I wouldn't turn him away…that I would endure it for him…”

And she would.

She wanted children after all and her body was his to do as he pleased.

It was his right as her husband.

 

“We had this discussion before remember? What happened to those women won't happen to you.”

 

“I told you Kaoru…I won't take you until you tell me.”

 

But…she would never tell him, voluntarily. She was too scared. The screams, the sound of whips hitting human flesh, the slaps, the creeks of bedsprings and the loud cries for the pain to stop. It all rang in her ears in a cacophony of agony that haunted her like waking dreams. Kaoru stood up from the bed and went to kneel down beside Tsubame's still form, taking some comfort in the child's innocence. She'd protected Tsubame with her life, never letting the girl out of her sight for even one second. She touched the little girl's hair and closed her eyes as a tear slipped from her eyes.

I'm so scared mama…I don't know anything…I wish you were here…I wished you and papa never died…

 

o

 

Battousai found his wife, curled up beside Tsubame, rocking back and forth.

His eyes glowed in the darkness when he realized she was crying.

She hadn't heard him open the door and he closed it silently, walking over to her and crouching down at her side. “What's wrong?” he asked as he pushed the masses of raven hair from her face.

The moonlight bathed the room in a dim glow and he was only able to make out some of her features in the darkness. He saw how haunted her eyes looked. “Did someone hurt you?” he asked calmly as anger zinged through his system in a terrifying pace.

She shook her head.

“Talk to me Kaoru…what's wrong?”

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, shivering, as she covered her mouth to muffle the soft sobs escaping her throat. He realized she was trying not to wake the girl.

Screw that.

He touched the little girl's shoulder and gave it a gentle nudge. “Wake up,” he said despite Kaoru's telling him no.

Tsubame turned groggily in her sleep and saw the golden eyes of a man hovering over her. Her eyes widened in fear as she opened her mouth to let out a scream.

Battousai quickly placed his hand over the girl's mouth and leaned closer. “Leave your mistress and I. Aoshi's room is the one across from ours. Tell him that I told you to stay there for the night.”

“No…” Kaoru whimpered, touching his hand and shaking her head.

He made an impatient sound in his throat. “He would not harm her.”

“But…”

“If he does, I'll kill him,” he said seriously, looking into her eyes and willing her to believe.

After a few heartbeats, Kaoru let go of his hand and nodded her head. “Sleep well Tsubame,” she said hugging the girl before prompting her towards the door. “Keep safe.”

Battousai frowned.

The fear he'd seen in the girl's eyes mirrored Kaoru's. Whatever went on in that castle they'd come from had scarred them, he realized.

The likelihood of Kaoru's uncle meeting his death in Battousai's hands just went up ten-fold.

Still crouching beside his wife, he touched her face and turned it towards him. “Why are you crying?”

Her eyes fluttered downward as her breath hitched on another sob.

He gathered her in his arms and carried her over to their bed. He sat down with his back against the wall and positioned her so that she was seated between his legs, her back against his front, his body acting as a sort of shield from the outside world. He could feel her shudder against him, and he reached out to hold each of her hand in his.

He waited for her to ride the wave out.

“I'm sorry…” Kaoru said finally as she leaned against him.

“Why were you crying?”

“I was sad…I was just thinking about my mother and my father and how everything would have been different if they were still alive.”

“It's no use crying for the dead. It won't bring them back to life.”

He felt her stiffen against him and knew she was angry at his statement but he didn't retract it.

It was a truth she must learn to face.

He was surprised when he heard her whispered reply, “I'm not crying for my parents…”

“Then…whom are you crying for?”

“Myself,” Kaoru said softly. Why was it that it was easier to talk in the dark? “I think tears aren't shed for the departed. They are shed for the living. To help those of us who are left behind to release the pain…”

“Tears are a sign of weakness, you dishonor the memory of the departed when all you can do when you think of them is cry.”

“I wasn't crying because I was thinking of my parents. I told you I was crying for myself because I lost them. When I think about my parents, I feel sad…but I also feel lucky because I came from two wonderful people who loved each other so much.”

He was silent as he heard the fondness in her voice. Well, she could certainly change her moods quickly.

“Are your parents in love too?” Kaoru asked. She waited for him to answer, but no reply came. She tried to turn her head to look at him but he wouldn't let her, wrapping his arms around her instead, and placing his lips against the crook of her neck.

She stiffened at the touch.

He stayed still, his lips against her skin, waiting for her to get used to the sensation. He lifted his head a few inches higher but made sure she could feel his breath on her. “Why did you say sorry?” he asked.

Kaoru shivered feeling each movement of his lips against her skin as he said the words. It felt nice and she shivered at the pleasant warmth that began to seep into her. Then, his words penetrated her brain and she remembered all the reasons why she should be afraid of his touch. “I can't…” she took a deep breath and decided to be honest. “I can't tell you yet.”

“You can't tell me what?”

“I can't tell you that you can…touch me. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you that…” she whispered. “I want children though but I'm just too scared. If maybe you could just…”

Do it without your consent? No Kaoru! Are you insane? What are you trying to tell him? Rape you? Geeze…

Not rape me! Just go on ahead and do what he likes! If I endure it on purpose…then it won't be rape!

“If I could just what?” he prompted.

Kaoru closed her eyes. “You know…”

“Is that why you were crying? Because you were scared that I would force you tonight?”

“That's part of the reason…a little bit…but I also knew you'd promised not to. I think I was crying because I wished I didn't know what really happened between a man and a woman. That way I wouldn't feel so scared.”

“But you don't know Kaoru…”

“Yes I do. Back in the estate…” she began but he interrupted her.

“No. What you know is wrong. Tell me, what do you feel when I kiss you? Honestly?”

Kaoru lowered her head, feeling her cheeks heat up. How was she supposed to answer that?

“I thought you said honesty was very important to you…”

Silence.

He sighed. “Kaoru…your parents were honest with each other and you told me once that it was important for you to be honest as well. It's a simple question. How do you feel when I kiss you?”

He was right. It was a simple question and she should be honest with him. She lifted her head and pushed her hair away from her face. She was grateful that her back was to him and he couldn't see her face. “It feels weird that first time you did it. I've never been kissed before…”

He smiled, pleased that his were the only lips ever to touch hers.

“And then it felt good, nice…”

“Nice how?”

“Just…nice, okay?” Kaoru said, unwilling to elaborate.

“I'm trying to help you overcome some of your fears. If you'd rather live with the fear that's fine with me, but I kind of pegged you for being brave. Don't tell me I was wrong…?”

“Oh fine…” Kaoru said rolling her eyes. He was manipulating her, she knew that but he was damned good at it…and his lips were moving up her neck to the back of her ear…she moaned.

“How does it feel?” he asked huskily, as he nipped her earlobe.

“It feels really nice.”

“Is nice, all you can say?” he asked as his tongue traced the curve of her ear.

“Hmmm…it feels warm…like there's a fire burning in my stomach and it spreading to every part of me,” she whispered as she tilted her head back and leaned her body against his.

“Do you like to feel my lips against you?”

“Hmmm…” Kaoru's eyes were closed as he felt his hands glide up her arms, moving slowly and languidly as if he enjoyed the texture of her skin.

“Do you like my hands on you?”

“Yes…”

“Is there any pain Kaoru?”

“No…” she said.

“Don't be afraid,” he said as he slowly slid his hands up her arms and to her shoulders. “I'm going to open your yukata, just a little bit, so I can see your shoulders…”

“But…”

His hands stilled as he waited for her to decide.

“Okay…” she sighed..

He slid his hands inside the collar of he yukata and felt the skin of her shoulders, the elegant curve of her neck and her upper arms. Slowly, he slid it off until her shoulders and upper arms were bare to him. He kissed her from behind, planting tiny kisses along her back and nape as his hands traced lazily over her collarbone and the upper swell of her breasts.

Kaoru didn't understand the firestorm raging inside of her. It was warm and pleasant, like a glow, and his touch felt so nice against her. She sighed, wanting more. “Kenshin…” she breathed languidly as she unconsciously arched to his touch.

Behind her, he smiled against her skin. “Does it hurt?”

“N-no…”

“What do you feel?”

“I can't…” her breath caught when he sucked on the skin of her neck, the pain and pleasure intermingling intensely that she let out a small cry of surprise. Her hand rose to cup his head from behind and pull him closer, her fingers digging into his hair. She let out gasp as one of his hands moved to cup her breast.

It felt too good for her to want to stop him.

She melted against him like liquid fire, pouring over him.

He turned her face to him and kissed her lips from behind, taking her cries of pleasure into him mouth.

“So damn hot…” he whispered when he moved away to breath.

She was panting, her gaze passion filled and her cheeks flushed from desire. Her hair was tangled around her and her lips looked bruised and swollen from his attentions. He bent his head and claimed her lips once more, enjoying the feel of her body against his.

Kaoru was no longer aware of anything except the burning pleasure in her body but when she felt his hand slide up her thigh, she froze.

“No!” she exclaimed, wrenching her lips from his and backing away. She panted, her desire mixing with fear as she looked at him.

He was looking at her with burning eyes. His hair was a mess, probably from her fingers as she grasped him closer. It was obvious he desired her right then and wanted nothing more than to…

Kaoru let out a small whimper, shaken.

How could she let things go this far?

“Did I hurt you?” he asked savagely.

Kaoru shook her head as she pulled her yukata closed. “No…it's just that…I'm sorry…” she bent her head and closed her eyes, her hair falling like a curtain to shield her.

There was a long silence.

“Come here…”

“No…” she said shaking her head. “I'm sorry I'm not ready…”

“It's fine…look at me.”

His voice held such authority that Kaoru couldn't help but obey. His eyes were still burning but the desire in them was leashed, controlled.

“I always do as I say,” he said softly as he studied her.

She sat there and waited for him to continue.

“You have to get used to my body Kaoru. You have to get used to feeling me against you…but we won't ever do anything that you're not ready for. Do you understand what that means?”

She shook her head.

“There's nothing for you to be sorry about,” he said to her. “Now come here and sleep.”

Kaoru hesitated only for a moment before she crawled over to where he was. “You will sleep with me like this tonight?” she asked when she felt his arms around her.

“Yes…”

“You said before you always slept sitting down…remember?”

“If you'd rather I leave…”

“No…” she said softly. “I'd rather you stay…”

He'd rather stay to.

He had to leave in the morning.

 

o

 

Kaoru woke up to see her husband looking at her.

She smiled and stretched lazily. “Ohayo…”

He lifted an eyebrow.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

“What time is it?”

“It's still early.”

“Uhm…” she blushed when she remembered everything that had happened last night. She looked at Kenshin from beneath her lashes and wondered what he was thinking.

“Is Tsubame here?” she asked after a long silence.

“She's downstairs with Sanosuke and Aoshi. He and I will be leaving today,” he said, standing up.

It was then that Kaoru realized that he was dressed for travel.

“Aoshi and you?”

“Yes.”

“Where are you going?”

“There's just some business I need to attend to,” he said. “Aoshi and I will be back in a few days. Sano will stay here with you.”

“I'm not coming along?”

“No. You'll only slow as down and I want to get there quickly.”

Kaoru's eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Fine then.”

“Don't leave the inn without Sanosuke. It's dangerous outside if you're alone.”

First she was slow, now she wasn't even capable of going out without a guard. His view of her was certainly flattering, wasn't it?

She turned away from him and waited for an apology.

“Remember, if you must go outside always have Sanosuke with you.”

She chose not to dignify that sentence with a reply.

The heard footsteps and the sound of the sliding shoji screen

Kaoru turned to glare at the closed door.

He'd already left.

 

O

 

It was odd.

She'd been uncomfortable when he was staring at her.

Now that he wasn't here she felt kind of…sad?

Lonely?

She'd gotten used to having him around, the lout.

She sighed and turned to Tsubame who was busy starting to knit a scarf she was probably going to give to Aoshi. “You know he's already forgiven you. Didn't he say so before he left?”

Tsubame nodded, “I just wanted to do something nice for him. May I get you something mistress?”

Kaoru sighed and shook her head, looking around the room. It's only been three days since he went away with Aoshi to `take care of some business', whatever that was. He didn't even share with her the reason why he'd gone.

Oh get a grip Kaoru! You've only just known him one…two day!

Why are you so upset he left?

Besides, he's only been gone three days!

Kaoru gritted her teeth, her hands gripping the fabric of her kimono. Of course she knew all the reasons why she shouldn't be behaving this way.

Still, she could help but feel left out or something.

She'd been so used to him having his attention on her and to just suddenly find it gone was…unnerving.

You hate it when he looks at you.

Now that he's not here you hate it too?

“Ugh!” Kaoru exclaimed, jumping out of bed and walking over to stand by the window. “Kenshin no baka!” she muttered angrily as she looked over at the garden. “Didn't even say good-bye.”

 

 

A/N: Here I wanted to establish the depth of Kaoru's fear and also her response to Battousai. I'm not really sure if I write their `romantic' scenes well. I'm kind of just winging it…also a reason why I'm kind of reluctant to write a lemon because I'm not used to writing scenes like that and it would probably suck and ruin everything. /sigh/ anyway, I hope you liked this installment and please tell me what you think and review! Thank you!