Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Zanza's Need ❯ Chapter 1

I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or “Somewhere I Belong” by Linkin Park. This takes place before Sanosuke met Kenshin or the others. Reviews are welcome, flames mean more s'mores!!! Thank you to Turtle_one of mediaminer.org and Happygoluckygirl of fanfiction.net for reviewing “A Rurouni's Musings.”

 

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

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Damn it. Sano thought as he took another sip of his sake. Slowly, he put the class back down, signaling for the bartender to pour him some more.

“Money.” The bartender held out his hand.

“Put it on my tab.” Sano replied, in sort of a drunken stupor.

At that the bartender laughed and walked away from him, knowing that the young man would never pay him. Sighing, Sano looked at his glass and started to think:

What am I doing here? I mean, I'm turning nineteen next week, why am I wasting my life in bars? Then again, it's not like I have any family. Mother and Father are gone; Captain Sagara has been dead for ten years. I have nothing, nothing at all.

I am the fighter for hire, Zanza. I'm not supposed to get close to anyone. My only real goal is to have a good fight. All of the people I'm supposed to fight are weaklings. Because of that, no one wants to get close to me.

I'm stuck here, all alone and it's all my fault.

 

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I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

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All I want is to erase this loneliness, this pain. I want to forget everything. Then again, what those Meji politicians did was inexcusable. They murdered Captain Sagara because they couldn't live up to their promises. I can never forget that, even if I want to become whole, I'll have to find somewhere I can be who I am. I need to find somewhere I belong.

 

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And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

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At least I have some work. Those creeps seemed really intent on killing that man. They said that he wasn't a pushover. For their sake, I hope so. The last bunch of fights, I've only fought weaklings. I'll start to go weak if I don't have to use my skills.

This guy is something. They said he had red hair and a cross shaped scar; they also said that he was an imperialist. Finally, I'll get some revenge. If it wasn't for the imperialists, Captain Sagara would still be alive. It was the government they created that killed him and I'm going to enjoy fighting one of their own.

 

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I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

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