S-CRY-ed Fan Fiction ❯ Tracing The Windowpane ❯ Little Runaway ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Go away. Oh fine. I own Jaid, Mackey, the storekeeper, and his wife. Everything else is um…not mine. But the farm is mine. But Cougar's not mine. But the shopkeeper's store is mine. But the Lost Ground isn't mine. Okay forget it.

A/N: Ya know, it's really hard writing from the POV of a seven-year old. They're just…so naïve. Well maybe that's just me.

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Tracing The Windowpane

--Chapter Two--

Little Runaway

That next month was difficult for Cougar. Jaid was a man who expected many things from people, and no less from Cougar either. Jaid spent most of his time trying to recruit new workers for his farm, now that fall had come and gone and December was upon them. But Jaid was not impatient. Before he started on any kind of work, he applied himself to being Cougar's teacher first. He was not a harsh teacher, but a very serious one.

Cougar found it fascinating how Jaid had all the time in the world to show him things like the rules to gathering firewood (wood with moss or live pine needles took longer to burn and therefore, Jaid chose not to collect that kind), preparing for winter, rationing the most important things, such as food, and still found time to tend to the farm itself and search for employees.

But Cougar's new guardian made it apparent that they would be spending the winter alone and had no choice but to fend for themselves. The way he made it sound scared Cougar a bit, and at night the boy would catch a glimpse of Jaid's light on in his room. He could hear Jaid at night, talking to himself, wondering how he was going to repair the damages from the fire AND still have enough money to pay the rent.

Cougar knew he worried, but Jaid never admitted it. If there was one thing to know about Jaid, it was that he was very proud and never accepted help unless he could pay someone back in return.

But although Cougar admired Jaid's strength, he was also bitter towards his new guardian as well. Cougar tried his best to be a good 'worker' (as Jaid had called it), but he was just too small and too little. Jaid never showed his annoyance for Cougar's youth and lack of ability to do anything productive, but the small boy could see it in his eyes.

Jaid treated Cougar just like a 'worker', and seemed to fail to notice that he was only a boy. Although his guardian was a brilliant teacher, he lacked the devotion a father had for a child. There wasn't much warmth or love shown in his actions. And it was hard for Cougar not to look at this man as his own father. The wounds of losing his real family were still open.

Cougar did all the things that Jaid could not- - well, not that he COULDN'T, but never had the time for. Ironically, it was also Jaid who had showed him how to do those same things. It wasn't long before Cougar could master these tasks without Jaid's help, but he also knew that he wouldn't have been able to have done them in the first place if Jaid hadn't shown him first.

The boy learned to find and stack the firewood, and do the dishes, and the laundry, and clean the house. He was taught which stores were the best to go to if he wanted to buy bread or household supplies. The only drawback was that Cougar was relatively shy and it took a while for the shopkeepers to find out exactly what he wanted.

Cougar went into town alone and shopped alone, only carrying the list and money his guardian gave him. And he came back alone, carrying the groceries that he was sent there to get. Often times he came home late, only because he'd walk slowly, the interest of something else catching his eye.

Inside Cougar's soul he felt the hole within him deepen as he yearned for what he saw around him.

Family.

But he was different now. Different than all the other kids that he would see on the street, locked hand in hand with both parents, and he couldn't help but stop and stare. Father with his book in hand and mother with her small decorated fan.

God, please make this pain go away…

And then a tear would fall from his eye.

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"You're home late again, boy," Jaid said as Cougar pushed himself in through the door, the snow beginning to fall from the sky. Jaid always called Cougar 'boy'. He said it was because he wasn't good at remembering names and 'boy' would suit Cougar just fine anyway.

Jaid was writing another article in the paper- - the eighth one since Cougar arrived one month ago. No one would respond to the letter. Jaid already knew that. But he still did it to keep 'everyone's hopes alive'. Who 'everyone' was, Cougar didn't know.

"I'm sorry…Sir," Cougar mumbled, the groceries in his arms seeming to weigh him down much more under Jaid's stern glare.

"Don't apologize," Jaid told him. "Just don't do it again." And Jaid had told Cougar that every time he came in late. And Cougar still came in late every night.

"Yes…Sir…" Cougar's eyes dropped to the floor.

Sighing, Jaid set his pen down on his desk and stood up. "Boy, are you gonna be like that for the rest of your life?"

"What…do you mean…Sir?" Cougar's eyes were still on the floor.

"First of all, don't call me 'Sir'. I ain't no friggin king or anything." At this remark, Cougar found the courage to raise his eyes slightly. "Secondly, if you go on having such bad social skills, people will take advantage of you and take you for everything you've got."

"Yes…Si- - " Cougar bit his tongue, cursing the habit that had developed. He felt a giant hand slap down on his shoulder and the boy jerked back.

"No more 'Sir'. Call me that again and you'll be sleeping with the chickens tonight."

Jaid wasn't serious, but he liked to pretend that he was.

"Y-Yes…I understand."

Jaid arched an eyebrow. "Your parents beat you or neglect you or something? I've never seen anyone as petrified as you."

Cougar took the statement offensively. "Of course not!" The boy's eyes narrowed.

Then his guardian laughed. "Woah, chill out boy. I didn't mean any harm." And Jaid stood up, arching his back. "Just…sometimes you scare me, not being able to talk like a real man. You don't wanna grow up being weak, do ya?"

The scorn in Cougar's eyes was enough for Jaid.

"All right, all right. Hey don't make that face okay? It'll freeze that way." Jaid gestured to the conjoined kitchen next to him. "Get to those dishes will ya? They're stinking the whole house up." And then he went back to his letter.

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Cougar laid in bed that night, his room smaller than the kitchen itself. Not because Jaid gave him the smallest room, but because the house was in fact so small. Much of the other rooms were used as storage for the farm. His room was bare, the walls old and the paint deteriorated and there was nothing besides his tiny bed and the lamp on the desk beside the bedpost.

There was a window above his bed, where he watched the snowflakes drift down from the sky. He envied them somehow, and wished that he could go away too. He wanted to see his parents again, but with every passing day that he was without them, he forgot more and more of what they looked like. What they sounded like. And even what they felt like, their warmth dissipating.

He was unhappy here in his new home. It was hard to like his new guardian, even if Jaid was very intelligent and a very painstaking teacher. It wasn't that he didn't like learning new things, like how to take care of the house or go to the store, but there was something lacking in the relationship between the two. Cougar knew that Jaid didn't really like him and the fact that Cougar was so small frustrated Jaid to no end.

The thought of being a failure didn't appeal much to the boy, nor did it to his guardian. Things just weren't working out.

Cougar crawled out of bed, the brown t-shirt Jaid gave him nearly reaching the floor. He knew Jaid would be awake, like he always was. Cougar rarely ever saw his guardian sleep. He padded out of the room and down the hall, where the lamp illuminated the bottom of Jaid's door.

He reached up, turned the knob to the door, and peeked inside. Jaid was at his desk, his hands grasping the back of his neck in an agitated manner. For a moment, Cougar felt the want to retreat, but his feet were frozen in place.

"It's awfully late, boy, for you to be up." Cougar heard Jaid mutter.

"Mister…Jaid…"

"Jaid." His guardian corrected, a hint of asceticism in his voice.

"Right…Jaid…" Cougar began to fidget, his palms growing sweaty.

"Actually," Jaid turned his head to stare at the young boy. "It's kind of a good thing that you're awake. Saves me the trouble of having to bail out on you tomorrow morning."

Cougar quirked an eyebrow, puzzlement residing in his wide eyes.

"I've been called away for a dealer's trade," Jaid said, averting his gaze back to whatever it was on his desk. "I'll be gone for about a week." Then, staring at Cougar out of the corner of his eye, "Think you'll be okay here by yourself for a week?"

"But…"

"You can walk to the store by yourself, I've taught you how to do that. Just buy one of those pre-made dinners…ya know…TV Dinners or whatever they call them. And you know how to clean up the house and that you're supposed to stay away from people you don't know. And put firewood in the fire when it gets low. Don't worry about getting new wood. I've brought about a week's worth inside already."

Cougar shook his head and sighed- - a trait he picked up from Jaid after seeing him do it so many times. "That's not it…"

"You need to learn how to survive on your own. I'll give you the money you need to buy what you want, all right?"

Cougar slowly brought his eyes up to meet Jaid's. No. It wasn't 'all right'. But he found that the only thing he could do was nod his head.

"Good. Now that that's settled, it's best that you get back to bed. I'll make out a list for you and leave it on the kitchen table."

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Cougar found he couldn't sleep that night. He stayed up, staring out his window and up into the cloudy night. He had never been left alone by himself before…at least…not temporarily.

It terrified him a little, to think of what it would be like without Jaid being there. Although he didn't much care for the man, having anyone there was better than no one at all.

Tracing his finger against the windowpane, he stared back at his reflection from the glass.

"Mother…father…" He whispered, drowsiness overwhelming him as he found himself slumping over the windowsill, his head nestled between his arms.

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When the boy awoke the next morning, he found himself laying against his pillow, the covers pulled up to his face. Startled for just a moment, he threw the covers from off of him and glanced around. Surely he hadn't gone to sleep like that. He remembered the windowsill and the coldness of the wood against his cheek.

"Jaid?" He whispered. No. No act of kindness could ever come past that man. Cougar was most certain of it.

Wandering out into the living room that joined with the kitchen, he climbed up onto the chair and looked at the table where he found a piece of paper with sloppy writing scribbled all over it.

He snatched the paper and looked it over. Then a sudden embarrassment washed over him.

Cougar had never been taught how to read.

He recognized a few words, like "money" and "drawer" and "market", for he had seen those words numerous times when his mother and father would take him out, but he was rendered clueless when it came to anything such as a full-length sentence.

No doubt Jaid was gone by now, left to do whatever it was that he did. It left Cougar feeling a little uneasy, but he tried making the most of it by convincing himself that for one week, Jaid couldn't order him around like some kind of useless servant and for one week, he could be a kid.

The thought brought a smile to his face.

He ran back into his room and changed into his day clothes and then sprinted outside. The snow was at least two feet deep now, deep enough to do anything he'd like in it. Retreating back inside once again, he rummaged through Jaid's drawers and grabbed a pair of oversized gloves and an oversized hat and pulled them on. Then he turned and found Jaid's stash of scarves and earmuffs and grabbed a pair of those too.

Jumping back into the snow, he welcomed the coolness, laughing harder than he could remember. He hadn't felt so happy since his parents had died. Rolling over in the snow, he scooped the white fluff into his hands and molded it into a ball. Cougar began to roll it along the surface of the snow until it accumulated more snow and grew larger and larger. When it became a nuisance to push any further, Cougar reached down and began to make a second ball.

His father did this with him before, he remembered. His father called it a snowman because of the impersonation the snow gave to an actual human being. After that, Cougar never forgot how to make one.

Removing his gloves, scarf, hat, and earmuffs, Cougar accessorized his masterpiece and then stood back to admire it. He immediately felt the cold hit him, but he didn't mind. For just a moment, he could remember what father looked like.

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Before dark, Cougar grabbed some of the money off the counter and trotted down to the market, about two miles away. Upon reaching the doors, the boy brushed the snow from off his back.

"Ah, Cougar! My little customer!" The old storekeeper greeted.

"Hello, Sir," Cougar smiled.

"What does Jaid need today?" The storekeeper came from around his counter and stood in front of Cougar, awaiting a list.

"It's actually for me, Sir," Cougar replied. "Jaid's away on business."

The storekeeper frowned. "And he left you alone?" At Cougar's nod, the shopkeeper shook his head. "Just like what he used to do to Brandon…"

"Pardon Sir?"

"Nothing." Then he pointed to Cougar's money. "You put that away now. Tonight it's on me."

Cougar paused and hesitantly put the money away.

"Now what would you like son?" The shopkeeper gestured around the store.

"Uh…well I can't cook so…"

"Pre-made?" The shopkeeper interrupted. "All right then kiddo." And the shopkeeper left him for a moment.

Several minutes later, the shopkeeper returned with a bag in his hand.

"That's all for you," The shopkeeper said, handing Cougar the bag. You be a good boy now and run along home before the storm gets worse."

Cougar beamed. "Thank you Sir."

"Merry Christmas boy," The storekeeper waved.

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It was nightfall now and the snow had worsened. Only recently had the streets been plowed, but Cougar still had to trudge through the snow. He hadn't gotten far when a black car pulled up alongside him and the windows rolled down.

"Cougar?" A deep voice asked.

Shivering, Cougar turned to look at the driver. It was Jaid's friend, Mackey.

"What are you doing out here at this hour?" Mackey asked. "Where's Jaid?"

"Away on business…" Cougar said, his teeth chattering.

Sighing, Mackey unlocked the door to the passenger's seat. "Not again." Then, looking back at the boy, "Get in. I'll take you home."

Cougar was actually relieved that Mackey had shown up. He wasn't sure how long it would be until his hands and feet grew entirely numb. He ran around the backside of the car and opened the door. Climbing in, Mackey took the bag from him until Cougar was settled in the seat. Then he handed the bag back and began to drive.

"This isn't the first time he's left someone at home," Mackey said a few minutes later. "He's been like this ever since his wife died."

Cougar's head jerked up. "He had a wife?"

"Uh-huh," Mackey nodded. "And a kid too."

"Where's his kid?"

Mackey tensed. "There…was an accident." He glanced over at Cougar. "But I'm not entitled to tell you what it is. If you're curious, you should ask Jaid."

Defeated, Cougar sulked back in his chair. "Jaid hates me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because…" Cougar fidgeted.

"He treats you like you're replaceable…just like a 'worker', right?"

At the sound of the word 'worker', Cougar averted his gaze to Mackey. "Yeah."

"Thought so." Then Mackey blew a strand of black hair from his unshaven face. "He's not that bad, really. And he definitely doesn't hate you. If he did, he wouldn't have brought you into his home."

"But he said that it was because I was his 'worker'." Cougar argued.

"Yeah, good old Jaid says a lot of things…but the truth is," He reached over and ruffled the boy's hair. "he really does care about you. You must remind him of his son in some way."

"Me?"

"Yeah. You see…Jaid acts like a hardheaded ruffian, but deep down, it's just because he's suffering."

Cougar ran the word over in his mind. Suffering…

"He misses his family. Never has let anyone close to him after that. Doesn't have many true friends that he doesn't consider workers." Then Mackey paused. "Except me, but hey, I'm the one who brought him over here in the first place."

"Here to the Lost Ground?"

"Oh it wasn't the Lost Ground when we first came here, Cougar. It was an actual place. An actual city. You see, Jaid and I have been friends for well over thirty years."

"Wow," Cougar marveled. "That's a long time."

"It sure is. We went into the farming business together. It was easier because Jaid already lived on a farm. When we grew up, I was the one who heard about this big promotion here and convinced Jaid and his family to come here with me. Perhaps I'm the cause of his unhappiness."

"Why?"

"If we had never come here, then his family would still be alive today." Then he smiled sadly and turned to Cougar. "Jaid cares about you. Just…in his own way."

In his own way? What way was that?

"He doesn't mean to be hard on you, it's just all he knows."

And then they pulled into the farm.

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The storm worsened that night and the wind howled like a wolf to the moon. The snow beat against the windows, as though it meant to break them. And the lights kept flickering. Cougar was huddled on the couch, almost worried. What if the windows broke? What if the lights went out?

…And then the lights went out.

"Great…" Cougar mumbled. He fumbled around the room, looking for the flashlight he had found in Jaid's closet earlier. He tripped over numerous things…mostly things that belonged to Jaid, until he finally ran into the wall and fell down on his bottom.

"Ow!" Cougar exclaimed, rubbing his sore bottom. His other hand was used to prop himself up so that he wouldn't fall backwards, but as his fingers moved along the carpet, he felt something hard and long. It was the flashlight.

Grinning from ear to ear, he flipped the switch and welcomed the wave of light that showered over the walls and banished the darkness. Pushing himself from off the floor, he moved towards the door that led to the basement. He wasn't scared of the basement. Actually the basement was very warm because of the heating in it (it was provided by the walls themselves because of how they had been constructed) and it was very cozy and had no windows.

He crept down the steps, shutting the door behind him and jumped to the bottom. Boxes were stacked everywhere, like tall pillars, each labeled with its own memory that was kept inside of it. Out of curiosity, Cougar began to look through the labels on the boxes. He couldn't read what they said, so he started at one stack and pulled a box down from the top.

It wasn't heavy, so it was easy to carry. Setting it on the floor, Cougar promptly tore open the box and used the flashlight to peek inside. He coughed and waved away the dust before reaching his hand into the box and feeling around for whatever he thought was interesting. He grabbed a stack of envelopes, all stuffed with letters. Seating himself on the floor, he looked over them.

Still, he couldn't read what they said. But they looked old and faded and probably important. The handwriting on the front and in the letters was very neat…very delicate…like a woman's.

Dropping the letters back inside, he reached back into the box and used the flashlight to look through the box. His fingers fell across something flat and smooth and with sudden interest, he pulled it out.

It was a picture frame of a man, a woman, and a baby.

The man, Cougar thought, looked just like Jaid…except…he was very young. The woman and the child, he figured, were his family- - the same ones that Mackey had said died. Fingering the glass carefully, Cougar stared at the woman. She looked warm, happy, with golden locks that fell around her shapely face. Like his mother.

And Jaid looked strong, intelligent, and very handsome. Like his father.

It was a beautiful portrait.

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Cougar awoke the next morning on the carpeted basement floor, the picture still in his hand. Yawning, he ran a hand through his messy brown hair and turned to the flashlight. It, no doubt, had burned out because Cougar had forgotten to turn it off. The storm had settled, and now the snow fell peacefully from the sky. It was like that for most of the week.

Much to Cougar's surprise, he did not spend the week alone like he had planned. Everyday, the shopkeeper's wife would drive to the farm and leave Cougar with plenty of food that she had baked herself. She never had anything nice to say about Jaid, but she was very kind to Cougar. Stuffed in the bottom of every basket were chocolate chip cookies, his favorite kind. Mackey came by too, just to stop in and talk for a while. He was a very funny character and Cougar enjoyed his company much. He brought books and showed them to Cougar and told the boy stories from back on the farm.

Anywhere that Cougar needed to go, such as the market, Mackey took him without complaint. Mackey's driving skills were poor, but Cougar was too young to notice. It was probably because Mackey always did sixty above the speed limit. A real Speed Demon.

It was times like those that Cougar wished that it had been Mackey who had found him that day, or even the shopkeeper and his wife. He wished it had never been Jaid.

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Two days before Jaid was scheduled to come home, Cougar had already decided that he didn't want to be there when he got back. That week, he had enjoyed the company of Mackey and the storekeeper and his wife. He didn't want to go back to being Jaid's 'worker'.

So that night, after the storekeeper's wife came by, he packed the food, a blanket, and all the money that Jaid had given him and walked outside. It was a clear night- - the first one that week. The moon hovered overhead, shining brightly down on him.

He trudged through the snow, the pack on his back, to the nearest train station. It was only a few miles away, not too far. But once there, he figured he would buy a ticket and go somewhere else. If he was lucky, he would be able to find someone as nice as Mackey or even the storekeeper and his wife. But he couldn't stay with either of them because he knew Jaid would come looking for his 'worker'.

Cougar didn't want that.

It was a cold night, despite the clear sky. He wore a thin coat over his shirt, and his pants bagged to the ground, soaking up the wetness of the snow. When he arrived at the abandoned train station, he seated himself on the steps of the station, waiting for the next train to arrive.

He wasn't there long before two headlights approached in the distance. Cougar pulled his knees up to his chest and stared at the lights, as though they had captivated them. The headlights belonged to a blue rundown car, a familiar one, Cougar noted. The car pulled over on the side of the road and the driver jumped out, the look on his face was of horror.

It was Jaid.

"Boy!" Jaid shouted. "What do you think you're doing out here!?" Jaid saw the fear in Cougar's eyes and forced himself to calm down, allowing the color to flow back in his worried face. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

Cougar was just as surprised as Jaid. His eyes widened, and he stammered, "But…your trip…"

"I decided to come home early." Jaid told him and shut the car door. The snow crunched beneath his feet as he advanced towards Cougar and sat down beside him on the steps. "Mackey called me and chewed me out. Sorry about leaving you alone." When Cougar said nothing, Jaid continued. "When I got back, you weren't home. I called just about everyone I knew but no one had seen you. That's when I saw the footprints outside in the snow." Jaid chuckled. "If you're going to run away, you should do a better job of clearing your tracks."

Cougar breathed out heavily. His eyes were focused on the snow below him.

Jaid could only stare at him and wonder. "Why'd you run away boy?"

"Because…" Cougar mumbled.

"Because why? Speak up boy."

"Because…I…" And then Cougar stopped, defeated.

"Because I left you alone? Because I'm so hard on you? Is that why?"

Cougar nodded.

Jaid turned to look up at the sky. "I understand you miss your parents boy. But if I hadn't found you, where do you think you'd be now?"

To be truthfully honest, Cougar didn't know.

"You're still getting used to their death. I know it's hard for a kid to lose a parent. But you lost both. And that's even harder. You're used to a simple life and at times, you wish I treated you more like a kid…right?" The boy paused, and nodded slowly. "Hmmm, it seems that you're open to everyone else but me. Mackey told me so." Then Jaid sighed, the situation burdening him. "You wish I treated you like my own flesh and blood and you wish I was your father."

"I loved my father," Cougar replied.

"I know that, but instead of a boss, you wish I was more of a father to you, am I right?"

Cougar hesitated, but nodded again.

"Listen," Jaid began. "I treat you like my employee instead of my son because I don't want you growing up weak. If I pampered you and did everything for you, then you wouldn't have any real experience of the outside world. In just the last month, wouldn't you agree that you've learned more than you would've in just one year?"

"Yes."

"Are you being honest? Or are you just pulling my leg?"

"I'm being honest."

"All right then boy, you talk to me. I still need someone to help me out at home and you've got nowhere else to go. I don't want to be hanging that over your head as a control freak, but I just want you to realize it. What do you think you're gonna do out there?"

Cougar bit his lower lip. Now that Jaid mentioned it, he truly didn't have a clue.

"I…I don't know."

"Listen boy, I want what's best for you. I'm not trying to be an ogre or anything but if you learn to survive on your own now, then if something WERE to happen to me and someone wasn't as nice to take you off the street, then you would still be able to rely on your instincts and wits. Right?"

This was true. Cougar knew that Jaid was right.

"So what say you, boy? Are you willing to come back and help me again?"

Cougar looked up from his spot on the ground and met Jaid's eyes. He was hesitant, but he knew that without Jaid's help, he wouldn't be able to survive. Was Mackey right? Did Jaid really care about him?

"All right…" Cougar agreed.

Jaid smiled and hugged him. Something so very UNJaid-like. It startled Cougar and he watched Jaid reach into the pocket of his long overcoat.

"Mackey told me you liked listening to his stories and the books he brought over and since Christmas is so close, I thought I'd get you something now." He withdrew a small book and handed it to Cougar. Cougar stared at it blankly.

"What? You don't like it?"

"No…I love books. My father had many but…" Then with a sudden surge of guilt, Cougar looked up, his eyes wide, and admitted, "Mr. Jaid. I don't know how to read."

Jaid was taken aback. "Boy why didn't you ever tell me!? Didn't you ever get any schooling!?"

"I…I…"

"Well I guess we'd best start educating you now. It's always easier when they're kids anyway." And Jaid burst out laughing.

Cougar didn't know why, but he began to laugh too.

Then Jaid walked him back to the car.

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Yes I know that Cougar and Kazuma's lack of remembering names is due to their Alter Abilities, but I thought it would be funny if Cougar picked up the trait from his guardian and it was just influenced through his Alter (snicker). And where did he get the idea that it was okay to drive fast? Probably from Mackey. Okay, probably not, but I thought it was a nice little asset…doesn't mean that everyone else will think so but hey! It's just a story. Anyway, like I said, it's harder writing from the POV of kids. Perhaps as Cougar gets older it will be easier. And the story will pick up too…just a piece at a time.

Please R&R and thanks to those who have read the story.

Kat