Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ 30 Seconds ❯ 30 Seconds ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

30 Seconds

30 Seconds
ByCassima



RATING: PG-13 or 14; language.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon! I'm not getting
paid for this (rats! I wish I were!). I don't want to
bomb DIC for taking it off the air (and all that hate
mail--that wasn't my fault. You didn't hear about it
from me). Don't sue me! Yep, that's 'bout it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Uh, the mood in this is depressing, so please don't
kill yourself. Thanks. :-(

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"You can't leave! All the plants are gonna die!"

--Album in the Afternoon's signoff.

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I am weak. I admit that. I stand, outside his building,
tears streaming down my sodden cheeks, my voice gone from
the harsh sobbings I have already put myself through.

She's gone.

I must cope.

First, though, I have to tell him.

I stare at the building. It's tall. So very tall... it
pains me to have to do this. I'm weak though; that's why
the task was left up to me.

Slowly, I open the doors. They're heavy, so very damn
heavy against my trembling arms. All my muscles are
trembling.

She is, after all, dead.

I stare at the stairs. They've never bothered me before.
There's so... so fucking many, though. It tears me up
inside. A wisp of my hair falls into my eyes, but I
brush it back nervously.

There will be time enough to hide behind my hair after I
bear the bad news.

Perhaps he'll kill me.

That will be welcome. A welcome ending to the deep,
twisting ache that fills the pit of my stomach, crawling
up my ribs like a stepladder, painting my innerds black.

Black as coal.

Black as ice.

Black as my heart.

My damnable heart.

Luna tried to prepare you, I remind myself as I wait
for the elevator, but you wouldn't listen. No, you
would have nothing of it. You wouldn't listen to the
poor cats, their hearts ripped out and displayed before
them.

Displayed right next to yours.

I take the stairs.

It's good for me to consentrate on something other than
the past events. Good for me to force my energy into a
menial task like stair climbing. Good for the tears
that never cease to caress my face.

I can almost see my mother's look when I walk in the
door. From anger at my tardiness ("Dinner was hours ago!)
to relief at my being home ("Where have you been?!?"),
to concern ("What's wrong? You look like your best friend
just died!").

She did, Mom. She did.

I'm at his floor, puffing for breath and crying again.

Because of his heart's stone walls.

I wish I were more like him.

I find his apartment door and knock. My knuckles are
raw, but I pound harder. "Open the damn door!"

I've been swearing a lot lately.

He throws open the door, anger displayed on his face like one of those paintings by those crazy street artists, scraping to make a living from the traces of dignity left in the bowl of life.

Sorry, darling. I'm currently immune.

His face stares at mine, the tears hitting him hard in
the gut. He gasps, as if I had struck intentionally.

"I don't want a lecture, dammit," he bites out. "I'm
not in the mood."

I pant, the tears still flowing bitterly from my swollen
eyes. "We need to talk."

Something in my tone, in the dull blueness of my
unsparkling eyes catches him, makes him drop his gaurd.

Don't drop it. You may have killed her, but I don't
wish this pain on anyone.

Not even you.

I push past him and collapse on his couch. Somehow, my
control comes back, and I stop crying. "Sit down."

"What is it?" he askes sarcastically, hiding his fear of me and what I know.

'Run away!' I want to scream. 'Run away, don't look back!'

I don't. I breathe. In... out... in... out...

Very calmly, I reply to his heartening query. "Usagi... Usagi is dead."

Beat.

He is silent.

"There was a monster..."

Beat.

"Mako-chan... she... she killed it..."

Beat.

"But... but it was too late..." I break down again.
"Too damn late..."

He falls into a chair kitty-corner me, blue eyes glazed
over, mouth half-open.

No, it's not easy. My hunched shoulders shake miserably
with my contained sobs.

"Oh..." he whispers, stricken. "Oh, Ami... how could
you? How could you not save her? How could you let my
princess die?"

"Me?" I explode, suddenly, unexplicably angry, "Me?!? I'm
not her damn prince! I didn't tear her heart out, shred
it, and stuff it back down her throat! I was there for
her, you bastard! I was... there..." I start to cry
again, collapsing onto the floor.

"It only took half a minute to drain all her energy," I
inform him, taking the worn trinket out of my pocket and
caressing the shattered front. "30 seconds. A lifetime."

Beat.

"When will it end? Your pig-headedness, your stubborn
pretend shitty excuses... she had to die for you to see?"
I cover my face with my hands, huddled on the floor,
crouched on my knees. "Fuck you." There is no anger in
my tone, only pity.

He is not responding. I look up, up into the cold,
blue-steel eyes of his.

Those damn, non-blinking, blue-steel eyes.

And I know it's too late to feel pity. It's too late
to feel anger. It's too late to feel grief.

It's too damn late for the Earth Prince.

I can't help the dead, I can only blow crappy bubbles.

Mom says you can't die of a broken heart.

I guess the Black Moon youma towering over me would agree.

I clutch the battered object in my hand, the broken
gem I cried over for the last five minutes, the last thing
Chiba Mamoru ever saw.

My anger is great as the tattered brooch fastens itself
to my chest.

It's all the same to it who it serves; one scout's as good
as another. It latches onto my energy, fixing itself,
drawing on me for help, like some parasite.

It's right, though.

I will serve the crystal.

I will serve the kingdom.

I will carry on for my princess and prince.

Both of them damn dead.

Like the monster.

I sob.

Beat.



So, uh, how'd you like my first attempt at a Sailor Moon fanific? Yeah, I know, depressing... I was actually in a good mood when I wrote this... well, comments, question, etc get mailed to black_cassima@hotmail.com. Thanks!

Oh, yeah, and if you can't tell, this is a "What if"
timeline that takes place during Sailor Moon R. Basically,
Usagi has died. The scouts have stuck a grief-stricken
Ami with the pleasant task of telling Mamoru about her
death. Kind of them, hum? He is killed by a Negamoon
monster that somehow shows up in his apartment. The
Imperium Silver Crystal fixes itself and Ami uses it to
kill the monster with her bubbles. She's still not a
happy camper at the end, though.

Everything clarified now? Good.

Flames are welcome; Dogfood expensive.