Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Soldier's Duty ❯ Chapter 16

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

A Soldier's Duty, chapter 16
Fourth Labor, by metroanime@mindspring.com

DISCLAIMER: Datclaimer. Here and there a claimer claimer.

"A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on." - William S Burroughs

------------

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Hotaru blinked as Rei ran screaming out of her room, and wondered what that was about.

Rei was a bit unnerved. Go up against yoma? No problem. Evil spirits? Her specialty! Obnoxious boys? Even simpler. She was not only Rei Hino, she was Sailor Mars, and in high heels she would punish them! (Okay, that sounded really hentai, but it wasn't her fault the senshi costume came with high heels! And maybe she did have some pretty strange manga, but she just liked the artist's style. Yeah, that'll work. Right?)

Lately, however, her confidence had been thoroughly rattled.

One evil wizard had nearly wiped the existence of one Rei Hino from the universe. 'Bambi Hino', a stripper in Roppongi, had been very close to being her new identity. This had caused her some concern, and she had been concealing nervousness beneath a layer of 'I can deal with it' attitude. Then getting turned to stone, then *dying* again and being brought back by Ami's fiancee, and then she'd gotten a good look at him that afternoon and she'd realized he was a complete stud.

Damn cute. Made her hotter than a Fire Soul.

On some level, Rei realized that she was suffering from the effects of a love potion. Morrigan's field of expertise had determined this little tidbit and she'd disclosed the information. While those involved had denied anything of the sort, the idea had taken hold. Of course, nobody had told Grey-chan because Setsuna had cautioned that the boy would likely go off into heavy angst and none of them would get their dates. Rei, scheduled for tomorrow's date, had quickly vetoed the suggestion that they tell him anyway.

That little part of her mind was still planning revenge against the likely (and correct) perpetuator of such an event: Eudial. On some level she realized that she had been affected by the American, and that it was unlikely he had intended to have this effect.

(Not that she was really interested in her Grey-chan. Ahem. Shard-san. No. Just because he was a caring, warm, gentle soul didn't mean she was attracted to him. Just because she wanted to explore his tonsils with her tongue, rip his clothes off and... ahem. Just because she'd like to get to know him a little better. Didn't mean a thing. She was Rei Hino, Sailor Mars, after all. She had an image to maintain. The fiery maiden who didn't really like boys that much. Certainly not as much as Makoto or Minako. She had more dignity, for one thing.)

Right now, however, she had been continually getting more upset over the past several days, and having her newly acquired teddy bear talk to her and announce that it was her shikigami (guardian beast) had just pushed her over the edge.

Resulting in Rei running through the temple, her foot sliding on some slick leaves fallen from the many trees nearby, ending up with her slamming face first into a tree, and falling on her bottom a few seconds after that. At which point Rei Hino, miko and sometimes Sailor Mars, drifted off to a series of erotic dreams that would have embarassed the heck out of her if they were detailed in a fanfic. So for her sake, they aren't detailed.

A raven shook her head and commented aloud. "Pathetic."

A second raven nodded. "Well, our Princess always did overreact a little."

A teddy bear didn't move but added to the conversation anyway. *Hardly what I expected. But then this job looks interesting.*

"I'm Phobos, this is my twin sister Deimos. Pleased ta meetcha."

*I'm Snuggles. Are you shikigami too?*

"Suppose that's as good an explanation as any," put in Deimos. Privately Deimos shuddered. Bad enough to be named "Fear" and "Terror" - but for a shikigami to have a name like "Snuggles"? That was truly horrifying.

"We're retainers of the Princess from a previous life," said Phobos.

"Can you move?" Deimos asked, curiosity coming forward.

*I don't think so. I'm kind of new to this shikigami thing. I was just a minor spirit, wandering around, when I heard the Call. It beat wandering around immaterially.*

"I would think so," agreed Phobos.

"Most definitely," chimed in Deimos. "Even if we'd damn near kill for people food once in awhile."

"Eating bugs and worms loses its novelty rather quickly," agreed Phobos.

Snuggles agreed where she could see the point. *So are you rooting for your Princess?*

"Actually," said Phobos with a blush that wasn't visible under her black feathers.

"We added our own names to the blackboard," continued Deimos, indicating with a wing. "Just imagine if we had our own costarring role instead of being relegated to the occasional guest appearance."

*Huh?*

"Private joke," said Phobos and Deimos in unison. "Besides, we're one of the few that know the Terrible Truth."

*Oh dear, that sounds terrible.* Snuggles was quick to note.

"That's why they call it a *Terrible* Truth," remarked Deimos.

Hotaru thoughtfully stepped out of the house and draped a blanket over the fallen priestess, her fluffy dog tucked under one arm.

"Dog's nearly as big as she is," commented Phobos.

*He got us in a half-price bin,* remarked Snuggles. *It really stinks being Marked Down twice, then left over because you've got some stitching problems. Glad Rowf there got a good owner.*

"Rowf? The dog is enchanted too?" Phobos blinked. "Must have been when he lost consciousness briefly and turned angel."

"We were watching," confessed Deimos. "We thought he was pretty cute back in the Silver Millenium, and now..."

"...he's available," finished Phobos. "Except that we're birds. Damn, why couldn't this be manga continuity where we could turn back to human?"

"Don't think Hotaru-chan meant to put the blanket over Rei's face like that, do you?" Deimos said with some concern.

*I heard her mumble something about 'Grey-chan, take me now,' in her sleep. There was more to it, but you get the idea. Hotaru apparently did not appreciate that.* Snuggles couldn't physically smirk, but gave that impression. *I had no idea that a Shinto priestess would get into that sort of thing. And spankings? My goodness.*

"Oh. That would have been when Hotaru's hair briefly stuck out like that." Phobos nodded.

"I think I ought to fly down and remove the blanket from the Princess' face before she suffocates," said Deimos.

*Yes, that might be advisable.*

-------

She was no longer Sailor Pluto, guardian of the Time Gate, lonely sentinel, Senshi of Time, etcetera. Queen Serenity had cut that part of her identity off. She hadn't even been allowed to keep the Time Staff. Then she'd gotten badly hurt, and when her Nebula-kun had restored her, she hadn't returned to being the same Setsuna Meiou that she had started as. Not that he had intended to do it, of course.

Leaving a vapor trail behind her, Setsuna Meiou grasped her Power Key Staff and flew through the upper atmosphere with a wide grin. Freedom. Freedom such as she'd never known.

Setsuna had done many things over the centuries. Watching anime had been a recent development, but her fascination for the trappings of fantasy were far older. Science fiction, intriguing in its limited way. In England, she'd spoken with HG Wells about a future Utopia, and at that time had been speaking of Crystal Tokyo. A chance comment had apparently inspired a story on time travel, and Setsuna had vowed to watch what she said much more carefully.

It was the familiarity with what the natives called anime that gave Setsuna a few answers. Such as what had happened to her, and the information that she could fly if she so chose.

And she so chose. Okay, she couldn't teleport, timewalk, or throw a "Dead Scream." Her replacement staff was something connected to her very being, and the first person to wind her up basically imprinted their image as an authority figure to her. She'd defused that potential bomb very quickly and neatly thank you, with the assistance of her Nebula-sama. She didn't think she could have kids, but there had been some restrictions on *that* from being a Senshi as well. No, she had lost the restrictions and the powers of being the Time Senshi - though now her younger self fit that role at least as well as she had at her age.

On the other hand, she was quite capable of breaking the sound barrier while doing a piroutte in midair. She was capable of taking her Power Key Staff and throwing out energy blasts as delicate as a laser, or as powerful as a tactical nuke. She had watched El Hazzard, and knew what an Ifurita unit like her current form was capable of. All of which could be a concern for later. Tonight was a time to exult in the freedom of a future unfettered by concerns of the effect on Crystal Tokyo and an ancient oath to see it all come to pass. Tonight was a time where the heavy burdens of responsibility could be set aside and the prospect of joy could be entertained.

Tonight was a beautiful night for flying.

Odd that it seemed kind of familiar though.

-------

Makoto sighed. Her sempai was off on his date with Ami. Ami was off on her date with Makoto's sempai. Makoto sighed again.

"You heard Morrigan-san, it's just a love potion," offered Usagi. "I could try to heal it with the Silver Crystal."

"No, Usagi. It's dangerous to use that thing," Makoto said, making a waving gesture. "If it wasn't we'd have had you reinstate Grey as Nebula or Ami as Mercury."

"Yeah, I wonder what's keeping that new Knight? I asked him to meet us here." Usagi scratched her head, but was mainly back to paying attention to the manga in front of her.

"New Knight?" Makoto considered for a few moments, trying to remember. Then the pleasant haze retreated as she realized. "THAT PSYCHO?! YOU INVITED HIM HERE? ARE YOU NUTS?"

Usagi flipped a page, unconcerned. "Well, yeah. I mean he's one of my mother's court right? How bad can he be?"

"He's psychotic! One of the guards was talking to me after the meeting with Queen Serenity! Did you hear about what he did in the Silver Millenium? Some terrorists tried to take over the terraforming equipment on some moon. The Queen sent that guy. Fifty terrorists, armed to the teeth. They never found the bodies!"

"There was only twenty four of 'em."

"WAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Makoto leapt to the side, impacting a wall sufficiently hard that she bounced. Her ponytail was attempting to flee to outer space.

Morgan smiled at her briefly, reminiscent of the sort of smile a wolf gives to a young lamb. "And they only had a half dozen beamers, a few blasters, and some swords."

"Heh heh," Makoto tried to chuckle. She'd faced street toughs before she'd ever become Sailor Jupiter. Every instinct she'd learned was reacting to this guy as if he were profoundly dangerous.

"Eeep," said Usagi, having forgotten how scary this guy was. Yeah, he was on their side. And she was among the friendliest persons on the planet. Now if she could just get her knees to stop knocking long enough to stand up and say hello.

"And the term, I believe, is sociopath. Though I'm not that fluent in Japanese." Morgan shrugged.

"So, ah, kill anyone today, heh heh?" Makoto twitched, she'd wanted to make small talk but that had *not* been the question she'd meant to say. She grinned manically and sweated heavily, but was ready throw herself between this guy and Usagi in a heartbeat.

Again that wolfish grin as Morgan recognized the unintended quote and responded. "Day ain't over yet."

Makoto nervously checked her watch, then realized she had done so. There were only six hours left in the day. "Ah heh heh."

Ice blue eyes swiveled back to Usagi. "Princess? What for did you want to see me?"

Usagi began to sweat heavily despite the evening beginning to cool. How to respond to that? Somehow she didn't think "just to be friends" would fly. Even though it was the honest answer. "Uhm... well... Muffin?"

Morgan sighed, reminded himself he was dealing with prissy little blueblood princesses, and settled down for a long wait.

-------

Darkness. Evil. Unspeakable Horror. The Terror From Beyond.

Well, ok, it wasn't nearly *that* bad. It was just that Ami's date with Grey wasn't exactly how either had been envisaged it.

Ami had suddenly slammed her face into the fact that she didn't have a whole lot of outside interests. Studying, chess, and swimming pretty much defined her enjoyment. The art of casual conversation was not something she had mastered. The only time she'd played a video game had been a Sailor V game with Usagi.

It was also not among Grey's strengths. While he *had* done a few things for enjoyment over the years, talking with girls had generally been a failure. Repeated failures accumulated into an awkward frustration. Leading to the two taking a long walk with a lot of silence.

Grey's attitude was that this was Ami's town, Ami's date, and Ami would know where to go and what to do. Besides, his broken Japanese tended to be met with blank stares. Best to let her take charge of the whole thing.

Ami's attitude was that Grey was taking her out, and Amerikajin knew how to have fun. (Their pre-college education system being viewed almost as an international joke, but they had to have learned *something* in that time.) Therefore, she should let Grey take charge of the itinerary.

"Uhm," Grey said, finally breaking the silence. "We go where is?"

Ami briefly hung her head, once again vowing to try and teach the foreigner the intricacies of Japanese sentence structure. As well as when to use "ni" and when to use "wa" and when to leave the particles out altogether.

"-Headache?-" Grey asked hopefully on seeing a twitching eyebrow.

"-No thank you, already have one,-" replied Ami.

"-Oh dear.-" Grey rubbed his forehead.

Ami looked over at the boy, wondering if Setsuna could be wrong about this.

--------

Honey (currently in Kunoichi Honey mode) flipped behind a sign and held up her walkie talkie. "Sweet Thing To Hot Stuff. Sweet Thing To Hot Stuff. Do you read?"

"Go ahead, err, Sweet Thing. Hot Stuff has... taken a nap. This is..."

Recognizing the voice, Honey Kisaragi suggested a possibility. "How about Gothgirl?"

"No. I don't really think so. Uhm. 'Rag Doll?' Oh bother."

Honey shook her head. It sounded like Hotaru was going to take some time. "Looks like Target and Icemaiden aren't talking to each other."

"Too bad," said Hotaru, not sounding sincere.

"Wait a minute, they're going into a herbal tea shop. Sweet Thing out." Honey put away the transceiver. Time to see if Ami made any progress.

-------

Grey sat down next to Ami at the counter, wincing at the beating his accounts were taking. He'd saved up a little working at the bookstore, but his bank account was about to flatline and he hadn't run across any indication he could get a job locally. (Of course his language skills were really hurting him there.)

Ami looked sullen. And nervous if those cat ears popping up were any indication. Her tail was sticking out of the bottom of her miniskirt. Which caused a few people to stare at her, of course.

Realizing that Ami was stressing, Grey checked his dictionary and ordered a "kanwa" for her, and a peppermint for himself.

The proprietor smirked, a gaijin and some girl who did cosplay. Ah well, at least the night wasn't boring. He'd play along with it. Catnip tea for the girl, eh? Cute.

When the tea arrived, Grey sipped at it, but continued to eye the silent girl next to him. Well, things were going tense and weren't getting any better. He could try to patch things up, in which case he'd either succeed or fail. Experience was betting on failure.

"Uhm, Ami-chan, where you want go?" Seeing her seem to relax a little as she sipped her tea, Grey pushed ahead. "What you want me say?"

"Miyaaa!" Ami said clearly and distinctly, licking her lips and staring into her cup.

"Ami-chan? i not quite get that." Grey checked his dictionary while Ami continued to drink her tea. "-Miyako. Miyage. Nothing under 'miyaa'? Damn useless dictionary.-"

Ami blinked and swayed on her seat. "Miii miii miyaaa."

"Mimi miya..." Grey checked the entry. Mimi=ear. Miya could mean miyage=present. So, in order to make up for his gaffe earlier, Ami wanted him to buy her earrings? Actually that sounded like the sort of thing that went on between boy-and-girlfriend back home. "-Okay, Ami-chan. If that's what you want, i'll do it. It may take me a little while to get the money up though.-"

"Nyow!" Ami said, a smile forming on her face. She blinked at the guys behind the counter and pointed at her cup.

The proprietor was quite amused. It was just a blend of kava kava, catnip, and honey, but the girl in the catgirl costume was acting like she was getting high off the stuff. Even had her eyes following empty areas around as if someone else was working tonight.

"-i can't do it now, sorry.-" By his best estimation, he had less than a hundred dollars in savings right now, maybe half that in checking. "-i'll get you your earrings though, don't worry. You don't really need it now do you?-"

"Nyaaaa," said Ami, feeling *awfully* good. Grey-chan was speaking in that English, but she just couldn't spare the concentration for that sort of silliness right at the moment. And now she was going to get earrings? Take that, Setsuna, with you still having a pair of earrings he bought for you over 10,000 years ago.

Grey was still thinking of other things when Ami apparently decided that his lap looked quite inviting. So she just moved over to *his* stool, sat in his lap, and leaned into him. And started purring.

"Ah no, Ami-chan?" Grey had no idea *how* he had done it, but apparently Ami was feeling better. ~She must really like earrings.~

Ami heard her name mentioned, blinked, then began rubbing her cheeks and forehead over her property to mark him properly. Purring all the while.

"Eh, Ami-chan?!" Grey wasn't too sure about this. He'd heard Ami was a catgirl now, and that it was his fault somehow. But this didn't make a lot of sense.

Ami looked up, put her forepaws on her boy's shoulders to give him a quick cat kiss, then rubbed her cheek against his own while he was paralyzed. "Myine!" Ami contentedly curled up partially in her boy's lap. This was kind nice, but she was a little...

Grey started looking helplessly about as Ami began to snore.

-------

"Virtual Beast GO!"

"Do I have to? Can't we just invite 'em over for beer and skittles?"

The Wizard felt a headache coming on. "Yes, you have to. It's the only way to ensure that they aren't around to either get killed, thereby terminating the simulation, or make a choice, also thereby terminating the simulation."

"I don't wanna. Besides, this'll never work."

The Wizard counted to ten, slowly. "Did I or did I not create you?"

The creature, a shifting blur of color and shapes that was nauseating to look on, shook its heads. "Yes, you did but..."

"Your entire purpose in existence is to use your powers against those targets I designate, right?"

"True, but..."

"Look, the little surprise I created with that angry girl from Nerima fell through. The daimon and her magical tools are all lost to us for now."

"And whose fault is that, eh? Bloody hell, this operation has been a royal balls up from the gettie go." The Virtual Beast sniffed disdainfully.

"You keep flipping between an Australian and a British accent," noted the Wizard.

"And whose fault is *that*? Look 'ere, I'm just a damn 'monster of the damned week' and who the 'ell needs *that* sort of thing?" The Beast had settled down to one head, four legs and a body that resembled a squashed beanbag. "Can't ye just whip up a flock of those daimon thingies and go at 'em? Make 'em look like some of those bishonen types, carrying flowers and candies, and them girls will be fallin' all over themselves."

"Terurun has already suggested that," admitted the Wizard. "I think you're both underestimating them. Admittedly they're young girls, and a bit boy crazy, but they're not that shallow."

"Are you sure about that?" The Beast was very skeptical. "Very well, I'll give it a try. But tomorrow. It's already too late tonight."

"No. Tonight. It's perfect."

--------

It was a good thing that Ameow seemed to be even lighter (somehow) than Ami. Grey wasn't sure how that was even possible, but was accepting it under magical theories dealing with rotating subspacial mass.

Into a fireman's carry went the snoring/purring girl, who had shifted the rest of the way during the time it had taken for Grey to disengage from the cuddle. (If this had happened in some place where the locals weren't likely to freak, Grey would have been more likely to scratch her ears than try to remove the catgirl.)

So Ami's body was covered with short fur, her mane had lengthened, likewise her fingers and toes seemed longer and had those retractible claws, she had a slight muzzle, feline slitted eyes, not to mention her tail and ears.

Grey worried about torch-bearing mobs out to kill a "werewolf". Ami wasn't worried about a thing. The people back in the tea shop had kept their own counsel. Except that one of them *had* commented on the cute picture of a boy and his pet.

The bluefurred girl who was his current backpack shifted a little, a hand sliding inside his shirt to run her fingers along his collarbone. An act which caused Grey to shiver in a way that had nothing to do with cold. He felt her cheek rubbing against his shoulder and she mumbled something.

No, he didn't understand girls, the Japanese, this catgirl stuff, or even why Ami was acting drunk. Grey didn't think he'd *ever* understand the first two.

*SCHNIK*

Now if Ami would just retract the claws.

----------

A brief interlude elsewhere:

On Terratwo, there had been no genetic engineer or even a biology major to get the most out of the cloning equipment, and so six men had produced hundreds of other men when all the women had been killed off. Through a technique called "mongrel cloning" - these artifically produced men had some odd characteristics but a sort of genetic diversity. Still, the gene pool definitely had a shallow end.

A benefit of this was that there was no racism, per se. Six guys had combined their DNA in the machines to produce these others, but the bloodlines were thoroughly mixed now. There were cultural differences, Japonesse being different from New Texas, but no diverse genetic population.

Doctor Lorelei had produced dozens of clone daughters of herself after her release, which would have produced identical girls. The human female had returned.

Marionette androids had been developed during the time of no women. With first Lorelei's work, then Faust and Ieyasu, and others, then Lorelei's return, the androids had become more and more sophisticated. Still, these did nothing to expand the gene pool.

Then came Edema's contribution. The dark elven mistress of chocolate comestibles had helped clean up some problems left behind, and had contributed some of her own genetic material. The result had been light-hearted giggly girls whose skin tone ranged from coffee-with-cream through a dark-chocolate, white hair and pointed ears, and eyes the color of burnished gold.

Enter the last piece, the restored Mesopotamia and its resurrected crew.

The rejoicing had slowly been replaced with tension. The Mesopotamia, and its captain, still lived by its charter. More than just a document, it was a constitution and the nucleus of a new government. The authority of the Mesopotamia, the crew felt, overrode the accidental society which had formed in their absence. They were here now, and these patchwork false governments should dissolve that the Mesopotamian Government could take over.

Neither the Japonesse, nor New Texas, nor Geltland, nor any of the other governments really felt that this was acceptable. Hence the tension. As the various factions for continued independence argued, nobody in those governments had signed that document, and they'd been building themselves up for quite a few years. There were other lands that the newcomers were perfectly all right to take over.

The Mesopotamians argued that the six who'd formed those nations had signed the agreement. And so the argument went back and forth. Except for one group which pointed out that neither group had a hold on *them* and they were perfectly happy with things as they were. Why bother with politics and arguing when there was so much fun to be had!

Edema's daughters laughed and teased and danced and played and sang, and the darkskinned daughters of the drow would wink and smile at the various ones who came to argue.

"Laugh and enjoy life, dance and be free," they would say with a grin. "Or in the name of chocolate, we'll punish you!"

----------

Back to the sim:

Setsuna drifted to the ground, *knowing* that something terribly wrong had occurred.

The Hikawa Shrine was silent. Eerily so. Nor could she detect any sign of life. No skulking ninja, no glowering samurai, no giggling girls.

There *were* some signs of struggle. Three throwing knives stuck in the wood here, a drawn sword lay on the ground there, a few feathers over there, and the telltale signs of Usagi in "full pig out" mode that had clearly been interrupted.

Setsuna had done many things over many years. She did her best to recall tracking skills and tried to put the eerie "stalker flic" atmosphere to the back of her mind.

A flicker of motion at the corner of her eyes caused Setsuna to turn and nearly fired off a quick blast that would likely have taken out half the shrine. Nothing, just that teddy bear that Rei had recently gotten.

*It's still around.*

Setsuna startled, then looked deeper. Some sort of spirit?

*LOOK OUT!*

Setsuna whirled, power building up around her staff.

-FWOOP!-

*Oh crap!*

----------

The Wizard watched carefully. There was the Boy, the nexus of the simulation and the single person he had to be the carefulest around.

The target was walking home, a blue-furred catgirl carried on his back, and not paying attention. Perfect.

The Virtual Beast was doomed to fail, due to this child. More concisely and correctly, due to the Binding.

The Wizard was an Spells R Us Wizard. His specialty: turning otherwise unsuspecting people into bimbos. Also pets, furniture, statues, and a variety of other things, but mainly two dimensional oversexed giggly feminine uninhibited morons. When the end result was that simple a pattern it became a very easy thing to do. The tricky part was making it an adjustment in reality so that all records would show the new girl as always having been a bimbo. The reason the Spells R Us franchise mainly did this sort of work was because they were almost entirely staffed by dirty old men who could have given Happosai lessons on being perverted.

Any of the Spells R Us Wizards were sufficiently experienced with transformations of that type that they could overcome spell resistances and do artistic flourishes and all manner of other extras in a spell like that. It wouldn't have required any effort on his part (if he knew where they were) to turn all of these Senshi, their cats, and their allies into cheap tramps, drug addicted hookers, or simply common bimbos. If he'd set up a monster for them to fry, and then ambushed them, he could have easily converted the whole "Sailor Team" into plush dolls or chickens before they could get through just one of their attacks. Even with the danger sense talents of the Knight Of Duty, especially that Chain of his, it would be only a minor exercise. And, as long as he wasn't dead or completely immobilized, the Simulation would continue to run.

The Wizard had come up with a number of scenarios that he could apply that would amuse him that would fulfill these conditions. The boy and his friends had insufficient power to resist him in such a match.

The Binding, though, was a wildcard.

So when Grey unsuspectingly stepped on a black chalk drawing on a black street, which was designed to turn anyone who broke the pattern mentally and physically into what was depicted (in this case a female chicken or hen, mainly for the Japanese pun), the Wizard was watching carefully.

Grey continued walking without a hint of being altered. Which was what the Wizard had been looking for.

Long prior to the Labors being assigned to him, Grey had been confronted by the Elder god of mischief and presented with the opportunity to make a wish. Or it would be made for him. Grey had come up with a long and complicated wish, with multiple riders, exclusions, and limitations. What else could you do in such a situation? He'd eventually run out of breath, being an asthmatic and normally a quiet person anyway. Toltiir had granted the wish, more or less, by creating the Binding.

The Binding had been examined by Hephaestus at one point, who had likened it to a self-evolving Artificial Intelligence computer. It had its directives, and it would grow stronger and develop further as time went on.

The Wizard knew this, but didn't know the exact strengths or unavoidable loopholes of the Binding. The raw power level of the Binding could stop far more powerful wizards then himself, but it had been worded as a wish and therefore was prone to having gaps in coverage. Hence the current experiments. While the Virtual Beast drew all the attention, he could experiment uninterrupted.

The hen curse had simply failed to go off, the trigger "mysteriously" failing to function.

A similar trap merely changed the girl on his back from a catgirl to a bunnygirl, but again somehow merely slid over the actual target. Grey still hadn't noticed.

A third trap again slid over the target, and instead of turning Grey into a lowclass prostitute, it merely fizzled briefly in the air.

This time the Wizard got a little more data, as intended. This particular transformation was one he had used many times, usually to mete out his own peculiar brand of justice. He had put quite a bit of "oomph" into it. The Binding, as expected, was quite powerful. Though the magical "jaws" had unerringly targetted the boy, and he *knew* that he could be turned female (temporarily at least, he'd heard that the Pheonix Mage had turned him into a catgirl) something about the prepared template caused the whole thing to be thrown out.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth traps simply failed to trigger. Number seven had a mechanical trigger and threw a videotape at Grey. Which bonked the boy squarely in the head, but failed to have him change his name to Debbie and do anything at all in (or with) Dallas.

The Wizard watched with eyes that viewed the spectrum of magic, though unlike the Mage and certain others, he required glasses to do so. The barest flicker of energy in each case. The magical traps remained ready for the next victim, but the enchantments had failed to activate. Physical triggers worked to spring the transformation, but the enchantment was neatly deflected.

Still, he was an old wizard with a lot of enemies, and so he was fairly good at his craft.

Teleporting ahead of where he could see the boy heading, the Wizard set up a preprepared item. As with most of the paraphenalia common to a Spells R Us store, it was cursed and magical. The instructions for use were such that it would eventually rebound on the user, unless (of course) they had magical protections. A thin strip of metal laid across a doorway, the curse written on the downward side being of the usual sort one would expect from a hentai old wizard.

The Wizard got an unexpected bonus as several members of the Japanese Purity League attempted to lay an ambush and crossed the Tireisian Threshold. The new girls immediately decided to go off and boywatch, forgetting entirely about the plans they'd developed while of the male gender.

With the enchantment proven to be active, the Wizard cast a Wizard Eye and then retreated a safe distance to watch.

Four others visited the bus station and crossed the thin strip. Not realizing they'd been changed to simpleminded young girls, they chatted about the usual vacuous things while waiting for the bus.

Finally the boy entered and the Wizard watched carefully. The enchantment struck out towards him, and slid off while he stood there looking puzzled. Again and again the enchantments struck out until finally the boy moved on.

The transformation template was a typical one for the Wizard. Scantily clad and scatterbrained nymphettes were always in demand, after all. Therefore, it was well practiced and he knew the spells involved quite well.

The Wizard had watched carefully and had noticed something during the attempt to transform the target. It looked as if the sticking point had been the attitudinal part of the transformation. Which made it possible that the Virtual Beast would be able to trap the boy.

Not very damn likely, but possible.

Having discovered what he needed to know, the Wizard teleported back to his lab.

--------

Grey had noticed an odd sensation at the train station, but he'd been getting odd twitches all evening. Maybe it was an allergy.

Ami would occasionally mumble something in her sleep, but seemed to be so deeply asleep that she couldn't be awakened. His current theory was nervous exhaustion. Too much studying had finally taken its toll. At least she'd un-catted.

Then an exhausting walk to the Shrine. He'd chosen the Shrine over their shared home because it was a) closer, and b) maybe someone could tell him about Ami having a medical condition that produced such effects.

Not to mention the forecast 80% chance of rain tomorrow morning now looked like 100% any minute now.

Sure enough, a few brief raindrops began to fall.

Having never walked quite as much as he'd been doing lately, and carrying someone who weighed a fair amount (though he was thankful at this point that it wasn't Makoto) up a flight of stairs, Grey was shaking from exhaustion and finally collapsed on the bed, atop Ami. Feeling the muscles twitch with a side order of numb, or as if they had all the consistency of overcooked pasta.

"Unnngghhh," said Grey as the downpour commenced. Which summed up what he was feeling at the moment.

The silence and lack of people penetrated, and he did make an effort to get up. Unfortunately his legs had gone on strike and weren't at all ready to support him.

Ami stirred again. Then seemed to awake and realize she was lying on a bed, human again, with her fiance lying atop her. Nor did she remember how she got there. Gossip about American men was something that *did* come to mind.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA!" *WHUD!*

Ami recovered from her brief scream to realize that her nominal fiance was groaning but not getting up. "Shard-san?"

"-Mizuno-san, would you mind not doing anything too outre until i can move again?-"

Ami flinched at the anger in that simple statement, but recovered. "What did you think you were doing?"

"-Carrying some girl to her friends in case you had fallen asleep from something besides 'recreational drugs'.-" Grey grumbled into the wooden floor. "-Where's Setsuna? i bet *she* wouldn't throw me around like that.-"

Ami looked at the twitching figure on the floor. He didn't look like he was in any condition to molest anyone, and her clothes were still intact. Except her shoes were missing for some odd reason. "Well, I guess that..."

-FWOOP!-

Grey listened to the silence and managed to push off the floor briefly. ~What the hell makes a sound like...~

-FWOOP!-

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Next chapter: the Virtual Beast has struck. Now what?

OK, OK, i was going to get into flagrant character exposition in the various dates. Still plan on it. Yet the Inner Senshi have been *so* explored by a deluge of fanfiction that i'm not entirely sure what i could do that would be new and different.

Though maybe having Haruka and Michiru trying to kill him while he's out on a date with Maya is still playing around some.

Later
gregg
OMAKEOMAKEOMAKEOMAKEOMAKE

Yet another Ranma opening you've never seen:
What If Ranma Was A Bit More Observant?

Akane glared at the BOY. Kasumi and Nabiki merely looked concerned. A girl dragged in by a panda had requested that she use the bath real quick, Akane had walked in to see if this girl Ranma had needed something, seen a boy, and pretty much everything had gone to pot.

"So you see, I can't marry nobody with a curse like this. Gettin' a cure is the first thing I need ta do," said Ranma reasonably, trying to hold back all the levels of thoroughly pissed off he was feeling over recent events.

"Well, while you were playing around in the tub," said Genma, slapping Soun on the back, "Soun and me decided. You will marry Akane!"

"WHAT?! ME? WHY SHOULD I MARRY THIS PERVERT?!" Akane alternated glaring at this *pervert* and shooting glares at her Father.

Ranma pursed his lips and didn't say anything for a moment.

"Ah, they're a perfect couple already!" Soun laughed.

Ranma closed his eyes and stood. When he opened his eyes, he seemed to have a blue glow flitting about him.

"PERVERT! YOU THINK I'M GOING ALONG WITH THIS, YOU'RE CRAZY!" In Akane's mind the fact that Ranma wasn't arguing meant that he had accepted this insane plan.

"That's it. Oyaji." Ranma said this quietly and it almost went unheard between Akane continuing to rant, and the two fathers making wedding plans. "That. Is. It."

This got a little bit more attention because Ranma's fist came down and smashed the table into tiny little pieces at the point of impact.

Ranma held up one finger, shaking and his face a mask of anger. "Leaving home and mother." A second finger joined the first. "Leaving my best friend Ucchan behind." Third finger. "That pushing down the cliff crap." Fourth finger. "That pit of cats." Thumb spread before the hand became a fist and knuckles popped from how tight it immediately went. "That damn boys reform school." Finger from the other hand. "All the times you made me steal." Second finger. "All the times you stole my food or other lame training exercises." Third finger. "SWIMMING the Sea Of Japan to get to China." Fourth finger. "JUSENKYO!" Thumb joined fingers into a second fist. "AMAZON VILLAGE!" Ranma growled as he stood there, shaking. "Now you want me to get married to SOME PISSED OFF LITTLE DYKE?!"

Akane blinked for a moment until the insult registered. "HEY!"

"Father knows best Ranma. Honor demands that you..."

"ARRRGGGHHHH!" Ranma gritted his teeth hard enough that his jaw ached. "Yet another of your little schemes. O-ya-ji. I *will* do the honorable thing. AFTER I commit patricide I will do what I need to do."

"That's right, you'll marry..." Genma's voice trailed off. Had Ranma said what he thought Ranma had said. "Excuse me?"

"Son, you shouldn't joke about these things." Soun said, laughing again.

"DIE OYAJI!" Ranma launched himself. He wasn't holding back, he wasn't sparring, he wasn't trying to fight at the level of his opponent, he wasn't concerned about what collateral damage might be incurred by the Tendo home. They'd gone along with this, therefore they were as guilty as that damn panda.

"hey, uhm," Nabiki was a little shaken. That wall needed to be replaced now. Oh and that boy was in the process of trying *literally* to kill his father. "Wait a minute..."

Akane tried to get involved. Ranma spared a moment of his attention to kick the girl in the gut hard enough that she wouldn't be able to breathe for awhile. His father counterattacked in that breather. Ranma renewed his own assault.

Genma was a formidable martial artist in his own right. It took nearly fifteen minutes for him to die.

After that, Soun was much less insistent that Ranma marry a Tendo.

And so it was actually a happy ending, in that Akane got what she originally wanted.

**i got this from reading a story (Ranma Ichibunnoni) which started out promising but quickly deteriorated into an uncursed Ranma being stuck immediately engaged to Akane and then getting into that rut. i've only read two chapters and it doesn't look to break out of the usual forced relationships. *sigh*

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