Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ ABSENCE: May the Farce be with you! ❯ Fortune Favors the Water-Bearer ( Chapter 10 )

Chapter 10: Fortune Favors the Water-Bearer

It was not long after the Laodamia incident when Rei decided to go full-throttle and make her feelings really known to Usagi--just in case that little bit of "mouth-to-mouth resuscitation" hadn't done the trick. However, Usagi was still enamored with Mamoru (not that Rei blamed her; he was really a great guy, and deserved the angel he had), so in order for Rei to compete, she had to show a deeper side. Childish flirting and games wouldn't do; she needed to be serious. And so, our dark-haired heroine invited her secret love over to her house for some "games". To make things seem more legit, however, she invited all her friends.

"I wonder why Usagi isn't coming to my party?" she just had to wonder. Her house was decorated nice and the atmosphere was great, but so far, only Rei attended Rei's party. She didn't expect Ami or Setsuna to come, but Makoto, Minako, and Chibi-Usa were almost certain guests. But nobody was there! As poor Rei was moping over the bad turn of events, a knock came at the door.

"Who is it?" she asked as he opened it. Standing on the other side was her pretty friend, the loveable lady Usagi Tsukino. She was dressed up nice but not too nice, since it was a casual party, and she gave Rei a pretty smile as she entered.

"Hello Rei, I heard you were having a party," she said in greetings. She nodded her head.

"Yes, but nobody came! It's all empty in here! I set everything up for nothing!"

"I'm sorry," she said with a heartbreaking pout, the kind that made Rei want to hug her (but who wouldn't??). "I wish that more people would come. I bet it would have been real fun."

"Yeah… well, see ya." Poor dumb Rei almost closed the door, but Usagi wasn't through with her yet.

"Wait, Rei! I came to your party!"

"Oh, really? Well, that's super-duper! Come on in, and we can start the party!" And so, the blonde entered into Rei's house, a smile on her eager face and an even bigger one on the priestess'. What better way to spend a holiday than with a loved one?

"Let's start by bobbing for apples!" he exclaimed. Usagi grinned sweetly, folding her hands behind her back as she looked from the beautiful guardian of flames down to the bucket of apples. The round red fruit was there, but neither the bucket nor the water was with them.

"But Rei, you don't have a bucket. How're we supposed to play without a bucket of water?"

"Well," she shrugged, "with all the excitement going on, I couldn't afford to buy one--but don't worry, we'll just use the carpet instead!"

"Okay," she sang, her eyes twinkling. Rei smiled back and pointed at her.

"Pretty ladies first!!" Usagi dove in, grasping towards one of the apples with her mouth. Her lips touched the carpet instead, and a nasty dust ball got clogged into her throat, choking her terribly.

"D'gacck! Rei! (cough, cough) I'm… choking!"

"Oh no!" she exclaimed in horror. "Hold on here! I'll get you some water!" And as quick as a bolt, Rei ran out of his room just as the background music began to play a rock version of "The Ballad of William Tell" (or for you unsophisticated clods, the theme song to "The Lone Ranger"). Go Rei, go!!!!

She sprinted out of her room and down the hallway, curbing past the corner and bolting down the stairs, with the music still playing. She reached to the first floor and bolted towards the door, opening it and coming into the yard. From there, she sprinted as fast as he could to the nearest fountain, and cursed as she saw it dry. With as much speed as ever, Borus continued running until she sprinted past Chad and the front gate.

From there, she marched over hill and over dale, running along the dusty trail, weathering storm and wind and gale, for the sake of her one true love! She sprinted through a large forest, her body but a blur. Leaves were whirled up into a stormy tizzy as she dashed across the grove, and from the forests she hiked up into a large mountain, scaling the impossibly tall peak like a goat. With full speed still active, and the blasted music still playing, she rocketed down the other side and tumbled onto a meadow, where in the distance, she could faintly see a lake.

When at last she reached the lake, Rei got out a large chalice she had been carrying, and filled it to the brim with water. She then turned around, and ran all the way back to Cherry Hill Temple, taking the exact same route she had before.

Twenty-five days later…

"Here you go, Usagi!" exclaimed Rei, shoving the chalice towards her friend. Usagi took a big chug of water, clearing up the dust that had gotten caught in her throat.

"…Thank you, Rei!" she exclaimed with a gush. "You saved me!"

"Sure!" she exclaimed with a smile. "Well, what game do you want to play next?"

"But Rei, the party's over!" said Usagi. "It's Thanksgiving now!!"

"Oh!" A pause. "Well, do you want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving supper?"

"Sure, Rei," gushed Usagi with a sweet smile. She then followed her friend towards the small kitchen, discovering a prize turkey that had magically appeared out of nowhere! "Wow!" she exclaimed. "That looks good!"

"I hope so!" added Rei with a big, childish smile. "I spent all my money on it, and I couldn't afford stuffing, so I just used dirt instead!"

"That's okay, Rei!" said Usagi with her trademark smile. Rei smiled and handed her friend a fork and plate.

"Well, dig in! Pretty ladies first!" Usagi put one of the slices in her mouth…

"D'gacck! Rei! (cough, cough) I'm… choking again!"

"Oh, noooo!!!" she wailed. "Hold on, Usagi! I'll go get you some water!!!" And as quick as a bolt, Rei ran out of her house--again--just as the background music began to play a rock version of "The Ballad of William Tell", again. Go Rei, go!!

Rei sprinted out of the castle, through the forest, over the mountain, across the field, and towards the lake again, filling up the glass that had just been emptied half a month ago. She then turned around, and started for the temple once again…

Twenty-five days later…

"Here you go, Usagi!" exclaimed Rei, shoving the chalice towards her friend again. Usagi took another big chug of water, clearing up the dirt that had gotten caught in her throat.

"…Thank you, Rei!" she exclaimed with a gush. "You saved me again!"

"Sure!" she exclaimed with a smile. "Well, let's eat!"

"But Rei, it's not turkey day anymore!" said the blonde. Rei seemed a little crestfallen.

"Oh. Well, do you want to come over to my place for Hanukkah?"

"Sure, Rei!" she smiled. "I had no idea you were Jewish!"

"Only in this parody," muttered the priestess. Rei then led Usagi into her room, which had been decorated with Hanukkah apparel. A wax menorah was on her table, and a wooden dreidel stood unspun in the corner.

"Sorry, I couldn't afford any food, so I used dirt instead!" exclaimed the dark-haired one. Usagi smiled, then her face suddenly went into a confusion. She gave her friend a weird look, who returned it with puzzlement.

"…Oh, no!!!" The two of them suddenly burst out in hearty laughter, smiling at each other out of the weirdness of it all.

"Oh, Rei!" exclaimed Makoto. "You're so dumb! But we love you anyway!"

Next chapter: Can Setsuna-chan really be portrayed as a clueless ditz? Can she give Usagi a run for her money? Will she say something so completely random and pointless that everyone looks at her strangely? Can she, in fact, be CUTE? Tune in next time, when we'll hear a delightfully mindless Setsuna say, "SHAZAM!!" and where we'll here Rei's crusty old grandfather say, "Hey big man, lemme hold a dollar!"