Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Best Friends ❯ Chapter 15

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 15: Saturday afternoon
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It was the best of walks; it was the worst of walks. The elation
that Ami had felt upon leaving Makoto buoyed her steps for most
of the way home. Eventually, though, the weight of what faced
her drained away most of that joy. Over the past day or so,
she'd imagined a hundred different ways this conversation could
go. In very few of those scenarios had she emerged unscathed.
Ami tried in vain, as she approached her condo building, to
recall the last time she'd had a significant argument with her
mother. True, there had been some words exchanged concerning her
schedule earlier this year, but even that couldn't rightly be
called a 'fight'. At best, it had been a 'heated debate.'

'Is it strange that I can't recall ever really fighting with my
mother?' Ami wondered. She knew that her friends fought with
their parents. Rei's squabbles with her grandfather had been
legendary, but even a year or two removed from his death, Ami
knew that Rei still mourned him deeply. Usagi's mother yelled at
her constantly about her grades, and her father's views on her
dating such an older boy were well-established, but they remained
very close to one another, even with Usagi now living at school.
Ami knew from her psychology classes that the open airing of
disagreements and conflict led to much healthier relationships.
Odd that she'd never applied that factoid to her own life.

All in all, Ami had a great deal of respect for her mother. She
knew it could not have been easy to raise a daughter alone,
especially while maintaining a profession as demanding as
'doctor.' She knew her mother was a very well-respected member
of the Tokyo medical community. For as long as she could
remember, Ami had simply assumed that she wanted to follow in her
mother's footsteps. So, why was she questioning this now? When
she was perfectly honest with herself, Ami realized that there
were other things she enjoyed much more than her pre-med classes.
Oh, those classes were interesting, of course. Ami had always
loved science, but she also loved math and history and
literature. What she got the most satisfaction from, however,
was helping teach and tutor her friends.

Her arrival home interrupted Ami's train of thought. After a
brief pause to clear her mind and gather her wits, Ami entered
the elevator. She used the journey between floors to remind
herself of why she was doing this. The feel of Makoto, her
taste, her scent, the sound of her voice, the vision of her
waving goodbye, all lingered and gave Ami strength and added
resolve.

'I am twenty years old. I have fought evil and saved the world
times too numerous to count. I have been to the other side and
back on at least two occasions. I can deal with my mother!' she
reminded herself. Hoping she'd find her mother home (how anti-
climatic would it have been if her mother had been at work
instead of at home!), Ami went inside.

"Mother, are you home?" she called, slipping her boots off and
placing them neatly in the cubby by the door.

"Ami? Is that you?" her mother responded from the study. Soon,
she emerged with a medical journal in one hand and her reading
glasses in the other. "Ami, did you forget that you have an
appointment at 1:00? You'll be late."

Taking a deep breath, Ami moved to the living room and took a
seat on the couch, folding her hands neatly on her lap. "I
cancelled the appointment, mother."

Dr. Mizuno lifted one eyebrow and calmly laid her book and
glasses on a small table. Eyes focused on her daughter, she
glided to the chair opposite the couch and sat down. "Ami, do I
understand you to mean that you took it upon yourself to cancel
an appointment that I set up for you? An appointment for which I
had to pull many strings? I trust you have a good
explanation..."

"I don't need to see a psychiatrist, mother," Ami explained
quietly.

"I don't believe that that was for you to decide," Dr. Mizuno
replied, her voice raising slightly. "I understand that you are
entering a difficult period in a young woman's life. Therefore,
you cannot expect to know when you might or might not need
assistance navigating the turbulent waters around you. It is my
job, as your mother..."

"It is your job as my mother to listen to me for once!" Ami
shouted. Dr. Mizuno went pale and shrank back into her chair,
scowling in frustrated confusion.

"Did it ever occur to ask me about whatever it is you think I am
going through? Did it ever occur to you that maybe, instead of
sending me to some doctor, that perhaps you could come to me
directly?" Ami went on. She could feel the years of pent-up
emotion bubbling to the surface and she struggled to maintain
control, afraid of what she might say or do if she let it all out
at once.

Dr. Mizuno gathered herself and sat up rigidly. "Ami, this is no
way to speak to your mother. You know that, as your mother, I am
your best friend and, therefore, you can come to me with any
difficulties. I assumed..."

"You assumed that I am having difficulties in the first place,"
Ami retorted, trying to moderate her tone. "I am not having any
problems, mother. I do not need counseling for any reason."

"Are you going to deny that you have been getting involved in
an...atypical... way with this Kino Makoto person?"

"What if I were, mother? Surely, as a doctor, you must
understand that there is nothing inherently wrong or unnatural
about such things," Ami pleaded.

"That is not the point, young lady! Don't you dare presume to
lecture me about what I should or should not know!" Now it was
Dr. Mizuno's turn to lose her temper. "I have turned a blind eye
to the amount of time you have spent with that girl and your
other friends, time that could have been better spent
accelerating your studies or participating in more
extracurricular activities. Even though I had my concerns about
the impact this would have on your future, I acquiesced because
of my great love for you and this is the result!"

"You allowed me to have friends?" Ami sputtered disbelievingly.
"How dare you!"

"Mizuno Ami! You are stepping over the line! I am your mother
and I will be respected and obeyed. You have a brilliant future
ahead of you and I will not see it thrown away in a wash of
teenage lust and short-sightedness."

"In case you haven't noticed, mother," Ami replied in a cold
tone, "I am twenty years old and thus no longer a teenager. My
relationship, no matter what form it takes, with Kino Makoto or
anyone else is my concern and not yours."

"No, young lady, you forget yourself. You live under my roof. I
pay for your clothes, your food, your schooling. I gave birth to
you and thus your life is always my concern." Dr. Mizuno declared
firmly.

Ami paused. This was not going well. Anger would only beget
anger and nothing good could come of that. Hard as it was to
remember, Ami did know that her mother loved her and wanted the
best for her. She just had a horrible way of expressing those
feelings.

"Mother, exactly what is the nature of your concern?" Ami asked
in as polite a way as she could manage.

"As always," Dr. Mizuno answered, somewhat smug in her assumption
that she had prevailed, "my concern is your future."

"And what is that future, mother?"

"You have a brilliant mind and you have it in you to become the
premier medical practitioner in the Pacific Rim. That is the
goal to which you have been pointed since your childhood and I
will not see it thwarted now that you are so close."

"But mother, did you ever ask me what I wanted to do with my
life?"

"Of course. Being a doctor was entirely your idea," Dr. Mizuno
declared.

"When I was eight years old. Things change. People change." As
she spoke, Ami could feel a great weight rising from her chest, a
weight that had been in place so long, she had never even
realized it was there until it was gone.

"What are you implying?" Dr. Mizuno asked, stunned at what she
was hearing. What had this Kino girl done to her daughter?

"Mother, I don't want to be a doctor. While I am interested in
medicine, there is something else I enjoy more, something else I
think I could excel in and contribute to society in." It was all
so clear now. How could Ami have missed this for so long.

"And what, may I ask, is this wonderful alternative to medicine?"
Dr. Mizuno's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I want to be a teacher," Ami told her simply.

Dr. Mizuno barked a short laugh. "A teacher?! Do you have any
idea what kind of paltry salary teachers make?"

Ami looked appalled, so much so that Dr. Mizuno actually felt a
surge of remorse at what she'd said. "I can't believe you would
say such a thing. How could you disparage something like
teaching?"

"Oh Ami, that may have been a bit unfair of me, but seriously,
you have such a wonderful mind. Can't you see that that would be
a waste of your talent?"

"I fail to understand how teaching would be a waste of my
talents," Ami stated pointedly.

"It's that Kino girl, isn't it? She's twisted your mind against
me and put these ideas into your head." Dr. Mizuno surmised.

"No, mother," Ami said, her anger dissipating rapidly. Despite
the lengthy 'QT' reports, it was clear to her that her mother had
entirely lost touch with her life, and Ami was willing to take
some share of blame for that. "None of this has anything to do
with her. I think I've known for some time that I preferred
teaching. I am sorry to disappoint you, but it is my life and I
think it is time I started living it for me, not for you."

"What do you mean by that!" Dr. Mizuno shouted, enraged by the
calm pity which she saw on her daughter's face. "How dare you
imply that I am trying to live your life for you! I am simply
watching out for your best interests, like any mother should."

"So, if I told you that I loved Kino Makoto, that I don't care
what society thinks about such things, that she loves me and
treats me well and that I am incredibly happy with her, then you
would be happy for me?"

Dr. Mizuno fell back into her chair, stunned by this and unable
to formulate a response. "You can't be serious."

"But I am, mother. I've never been more serious about anything
in my life. I love her. And she loves me. I hope you can be
happy for me, but nothing you can say or do will change those
facts."

Dr. Mizuno paused before responding. This was almost too much to
handle, all at once, but while she was not quite the genius her
daughter was, she was certainly not stupid. She could process
things quickly when necessary. Clearly, there had been some sort
of disconnect between her and her daughter. The Ami she knew
wanted to be a doctor, not a teacher. The Ami she knew was
certainly not a lesbian. But, as she considered the matter, the
Ami she knew had never really expressed any interest in boys
either. Apparently, the Ami she knew was not the Ami sitting
before her. How could such a thing have happened? True, she did
spend a lot of time working, a lot of time away from home. Dr.
Mizuno tried to remember the last time she and her daughter had
spent some time together, other than their scheduled quality
time. When she found herself unable to recall, she felt as if
someone had stabbed her in the stomach.

"I'm sorry, mother," Ami said gently, seeing the confusion and
pain on her mother's face. "I know this is a lot to deal with
all at once. I think we both have found it too easy to see what
we wanted to see, instead of trying to see things for how they
are."

Dr. Mizuno nodded tentatively, still unsure of how to respond to
all of this. Despite the growing sense that perhaps she'd made
some mistakes in her parenting techniques, she still remained
concerned about the paths her daughter's life was taking. Young
love could be quite blinding and, smart as she was, Ami could not
fully comprehend the full ramifications behind her choice of
lifestyle, or career for that matter. Thinking back to her own
youth, though, she realized that, more than anything, the main
driving force in her relationship with Ami's father had been her
own parents' attempt to forbid it.

"I cannot say that I am happy with these things, Ami," Dr. Mizuno
admitted finally. "I am ready to concede that perhaps I have not
spent the kind of time I should have as part of your life.
However, that does not mean that I approve of these decisions you
seem so intent on making. You are right about one thing,
though."

Ami blinked back some tears. Now that the anger had passed, the
torrent of released emotions had shifted to sadness. While a
part of her was proud of the way she'd stood up to her mother,
there remained a small piece of her who wanted nothing more than
to crawl up into her mommy's arms and be told that everything
would be all right.

"I cannot live your life for you and I cannot prevent you from
making choices, or mistakes," Dr. Mizuno continued. "I would
request that you continue to keep your academic options open, by
taking both pre-med and education courses. I will understand if
you wish to curtail your computer studies and other activities to
allow for such a course load. I am also going to reserve
judgment about the other matter." She sighed deeply. "I know all
too well that I cannot prevent you from seeing her, nor change
your feelings for her simply by lecturing you. I hope you will
consider thoroughly just exactly what such a relationship means,
for both of you, before you become too attached." 'At least she
won't get pregnant,' Dr. Mizuno rationalized, trying to find some
good in all of this.

Ami smiled and hesitantly stood up, shuffling forward toward her
mother. Ami had never seen her mother looking so very tired,
hunched over with her eyes closed. To Ami's amazement, she saw
her mother's hands rise to the sides of her head, a gesture she
herself got teased about incessantly by her friends.

Dr. Mizuno opened her eyes as Ami knelt down before her. Her
daughter suddenly looked so old, so mature, but behind her look
of concern Dr. Mizuno could still see the baby uncertainly
wobbling on two feet for the first time, the toddler proudly
demonstrating how she could now put on her shirt all by herself,
the young girl excitedly relating the events of her first day at
school or crying because someone had called her names at lunch.
Gently, Ami laid her head in her mother's lap and Dr. Mizuno
placed her hands around her daughter's shoulders.

"I love you, mom," Ami whispered.

"I love you too, Ami," Dr. Mizuno replied.
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