Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Breaking the Habit ❯ Breaking the Habit ( One-Shot )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: sherazard 
[Warning: themes of suicide, self-injury]
An account of what happens when people are pushed too far and the same people remain oblivious to your pain...
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama / Psychological | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 04.01.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 743 | Status: Completed
[Warning: themes of suicide, self-injury]
An account of what happens when people are pushed too far and the same people remain oblivious to your pain...
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama / Psychological | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 04.01.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 743 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: "Sailor Moon" and all associated characters and ideas are
copyrighted by Takeuchi Naoko, Kodasha, Tv Asahi and Toei Douga. No copyright
infringement intended. This is a non-profit work for a fan by fans. Distribution
is free under the condition that this disclaimer and credit to the author is
clearly displayed.
Breaking the Habit
/memories consume
like opening the wound
i'm picking me apart again
you all assume
i'm safe here in my room
[unless i try to start again]/
Critical, skeptical eyes raked over the figure reflected in the mirror, making
sure that there was nothing out of place. Perfect. Everything was ready.
The final act was beginning.
The privacy of the room disclosed nothing to the outside world and it never
would anyways. If only walls could talk...then they'd probably be the biggest
and most likely the best gossipers in the world. After all, no-one had ever
said that just because one doesn't pay attention, it didn't mean that they were
not listening.
But then again, no-one had ever tried to listen. 'Not to me, never to me. They
all assumed that I didn't pay attention to them so I wasn't listening. Guess
what? I was always listening. And I heard.'
/i don't want to be the one
the battles always choose
'cause inside i realize
that i'm the one confused/
Oh yes. Confusion. The only thing steady in life that would never disappear.
Confusion was bound to be around, because not everyone understood everything.
The purpose of confusion was to throw one's balance off, and that was exactly
what this was for. To throw them all off balance.
"I'll show you all."
/i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i instigate
and say what i don't mean
i don't know how i got this way
i know it's not alright
so i'm
breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
tonight/
'I'm always fighting. If it isn't youma, then it's my parents. When it isn't
my parents, it's my friends. And when it isn't friends, then it's someone else.
Why can't I stop?!'
An animalistic scream echoed through the room, pain warping and twisting the
thoughts and the body. There was never a peaceful moment, always moving and in
chaos. Never would peace come upon their land until *they* was ready; until the
people were ready, peace would never exist. Rage suddenly washed over the
troubled mind, and a red haze settled in.
Destroy, must destroy.
'It has to break before I break. I won't break! I WON'T!!!!'
Another scream, more like an inhuman snarl echoed and reverberated, unleashing
the dark beast within.
'How did I get this way? I thought...that friendship was supposed to be two way
relationship, but...giving and giving and never receiving...don't they realize?
Don't they understand that I have my limits too?!'
/clutching my cure
i tightly lock the door
i try to catch my breath again
i hurt much more
than anytime before
i had no options left again/
Eyes stared into eyes. Life was a repetitive, monotonous cycle that would never
stop. Not for the likes of those who took the coward's way out. The eyes looked
over at the door -- locked -- and then back down to where *it* lay on the desk.
Eyes scanned over the room. Walls, a bookshelf with books, a bed, a window. A
very standard room; several posters were on the walls. The desk was clean, just
*that* object lying on the desk. Nothing more, nothing less.
Dainty fingers traced the pale, almost invisible scars on the forearm. They
were the signs of days of long past, days when there was nothing but bleakness
and pain. But now, there was chaos and pain and death. The weight of a world on
all of their shoulders...they were only children, on the brink of adulthood.
"WHY?! WHY US? WHY *ME*?!"
Why indeed.
/i don't want to be the one
the battles always choose
'cause inside i realize
that i'm the one confused/
/i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i instigate
and say what i don't mean
i don't know how i got this way
i'll never be alright
so i'm
breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
tonight/
/i'll paint it on the walls
'cause i'm the one at fault
i'll never fight again
and this is how it ends/
It would end. Tonight. It would all end, and the fighting would stop. In this
half-life that was left, there would be nothing but peace. Oblivion. No more
fighting, no more lies, no more excuses, no more guilt, no more watching people
die. NO MORE. Never again.
It was time to begin.
There would be no remorse, no more hesitation, no analysis, no hypothesis.
Nothing.
Just pure, decisive action.
/i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
but now i have some clarity
to show you what i mean
i don't know how i got this way
i'll never be alright
so i'm breaking the habit
breaking the habit.../
No more sorries, no more being overlooked.
This was it.
Hands picked *it* up.
Cold, smooth metal calmed her.
/i'm breaking the habit/
"Goodbye."
/tonight./
The door was forced open and a figure entered, but it was already too late.
Glorious red blood was splattered on one of the walls, a single hole in the
wall. The gun lay near the hand, looking strangely innocent in this fatal act
of suicide.
"I'm sorry. We're all sorry. We didn't realize...we were so blind, weren't we?
We were too absorbed in our world that we were too late to see your pain, your
cry for help."
"Forgive us."
**************************
End.
< br> Author's Notes:
Surprise! :)
Never thought it would be Ami, ne? But the blue eyes comment should narrow it
down to 4 possible people. Usagi, Ami, Minako and Mamoru. Rei's eyes are brown
or violet, depending on anime or manga. Haruka and Michiru's eyes are green,
Makoto's eyes are brown, Setsuna's eyes are red and Hotaru's eyes are obsidian.
Chibi-Usa wouldn't count. I don't like her. ^^ I was originally intending it to
be Usagi-centric, but then I realized that the most mysterious character and
sometimes often overlooked is Ami. Out of all the Inner Senshi, I think her
past is the least talked about.
(And yet the Senshi of Mercury is the epitome of the SM-hentai fandom...maybe
it's that shy-girl look...)
Anyways, the song is from Linkin Park's new CD, "Meteora" called 'Breaking the
Habit'. ^^ It's an amazing CD, it's SOOOOOO worth the money. Linkin Park, I bow
down to your awesome angst powers. Go get it! What are you doing reading this?!
SHOO! GO BUY IT!!!!!
:) Comments are welcome.
EDIT:
I took out all references to one person. I got that revision idea while I was
sitting in the subway on my way home. :) So now this can be applied to any
two characters in Sailor Moon. ^^
copyrighted by Takeuchi Naoko, Kodasha, Tv Asahi and Toei Douga. No copyright
infringement intended. This is a non-profit work for a fan by fans. Distribution
is free under the condition that this disclaimer and credit to the author is
clearly displayed.
Breaking the Habit
/memories consume
like opening the wound
i'm picking me apart again
you all assume
i'm safe here in my room
[unless i try to start again]/
Critical, skeptical eyes raked over the figure reflected in the mirror, making
sure that there was nothing out of place. Perfect. Everything was ready.
The final act was beginning.
The privacy of the room disclosed nothing to the outside world and it never
would anyways. If only walls could talk...then they'd probably be the biggest
and most likely the best gossipers in the world. After all, no-one had ever
said that just because one doesn't pay attention, it didn't mean that they were
not listening.
But then again, no-one had ever tried to listen. 'Not to me, never to me. They
all assumed that I didn't pay attention to them so I wasn't listening. Guess
what? I was always listening. And I heard.'
/i don't want to be the one
the battles always choose
'cause inside i realize
that i'm the one confused/
Oh yes. Confusion. The only thing steady in life that would never disappear.
Confusion was bound to be around, because not everyone understood everything.
The purpose of confusion was to throw one's balance off, and that was exactly
what this was for. To throw them all off balance.
"I'll show you all."
/i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i instigate
and say what i don't mean
i don't know how i got this way
i know it's not alright
so i'm
breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
tonight/
'I'm always fighting. If it isn't youma, then it's my parents. When it isn't
my parents, it's my friends. And when it isn't friends, then it's someone else.
Why can't I stop?!'
An animalistic scream echoed through the room, pain warping and twisting the
thoughts and the body. There was never a peaceful moment, always moving and in
chaos. Never would peace come upon their land until *they* was ready; until the
people were ready, peace would never exist. Rage suddenly washed over the
troubled mind, and a red haze settled in.
Destroy, must destroy.
'It has to break before I break. I won't break! I WON'T!!!!'
Another scream, more like an inhuman snarl echoed and reverberated, unleashing
the dark beast within.
'How did I get this way? I thought...that friendship was supposed to be two way
relationship, but...giving and giving and never receiving...don't they realize?
Don't they understand that I have my limits too?!'
/clutching my cure
i tightly lock the door
i try to catch my breath again
i hurt much more
than anytime before
i had no options left again/
Eyes stared into eyes. Life was a repetitive, monotonous cycle that would never
stop. Not for the likes of those who took the coward's way out. The eyes looked
over at the door -- locked -- and then back down to where *it* lay on the desk.
Eyes scanned over the room. Walls, a bookshelf with books, a bed, a window. A
very standard room; several posters were on the walls. The desk was clean, just
*that* object lying on the desk. Nothing more, nothing less.
Dainty fingers traced the pale, almost invisible scars on the forearm. They
were the signs of days of long past, days when there was nothing but bleakness
and pain. But now, there was chaos and pain and death. The weight of a world on
all of their shoulders...they were only children, on the brink of adulthood.
"WHY?! WHY US? WHY *ME*?!"
Why indeed.
/i don't want to be the one
the battles always choose
'cause inside i realize
that i'm the one confused/
/i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i instigate
and say what i don't mean
i don't know how i got this way
i'll never be alright
so i'm
breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
tonight/
/i'll paint it on the walls
'cause i'm the one at fault
i'll never fight again
and this is how it ends/
It would end. Tonight. It would all end, and the fighting would stop. In this
half-life that was left, there would be nothing but peace. Oblivion. No more
fighting, no more lies, no more excuses, no more guilt, no more watching people
die. NO MORE. Never again.
It was time to begin.
There would be no remorse, no more hesitation, no analysis, no hypothesis.
Nothing.
Just pure, decisive action.
/i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
but now i have some clarity
to show you what i mean
i don't know how i got this way
i'll never be alright
so i'm breaking the habit
breaking the habit.../
No more sorries, no more being overlooked.
This was it.
Hands picked *it* up.
Cold, smooth metal calmed her.
/i'm breaking the habit/
"Goodbye."
/tonight./
The door was forced open and a figure entered, but it was already too late.
Glorious red blood was splattered on one of the walls, a single hole in the
wall. The gun lay near the hand, looking strangely innocent in this fatal act
of suicide.
"I'm sorry. We're all sorry. We didn't realize...we were so blind, weren't we?
We were too absorbed in our world that we were too late to see your pain, your
cry for help."
"Forgive us."
**************************
End.
< br> Author's Notes:
Surprise! :)
Never thought it would be Ami, ne? But the blue eyes comment should narrow it
down to 4 possible people. Usagi, Ami, Minako and Mamoru. Rei's eyes are brown
or violet, depending on anime or manga. Haruka and Michiru's eyes are green,
Makoto's eyes are brown, Setsuna's eyes are red and Hotaru's eyes are obsidian.
Chibi-Usa wouldn't count. I don't like her. ^^ I was originally intending it to
be Usagi-centric, but then I realized that the most mysterious character and
sometimes often overlooked is Ami. Out of all the Inner Senshi, I think her
past is the least talked about.
(And yet the Senshi of Mercury is the epitome of the SM-hentai fandom...maybe
it's that shy-girl look...)
Anyways, the song is from Linkin Park's new CD, "Meteora" called 'Breaking the
Habit'. ^^ It's an amazing CD, it's SOOOOOO worth the money. Linkin Park, I bow
down to your awesome angst powers. Go get it! What are you doing reading this?!
SHOO! GO BUY IT!!!!!
:) Comments are welcome.
EDIT:
I took out all references to one person. I got that revision idea while I was
sitting in the subway on my way home. :) So now this can be applied to any
two characters in Sailor Moon. ^^