Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ If Only ❯ I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: sailor_angie 
More antics persue as Serena enters her Sophomore year in highschool. Who knows what she'll have to deal with this year.
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.03.2001 | Pages: 1 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 187 | Status: Completed
More antics persue as Serena enters her Sophomore year in highschool. Who knows what she'll have to deal with this year.
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.03.2001 | Pages: 1 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 187 | Status: Completed
AN: Well I'm back, and I bet you don't know if it's good or bad. In fact neither do I. Changes yet again. And my words of wisdom before the fic: "Guys are guys and always have been." Damn, and here I thought that things were gonna be okay. Guess again.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance- Prologue By: Someone Rated: PG-15(complex situations)
This story takes place in the January following the Tennis Camp. Darien had recently been going out with a girl named Allison. She was nice; she changed him. I don't know what it was; he was just nicer, more sincere, and generally happier. Which to tell you the truth made me very happy. We had begun to talk again, and I was still doing great in school.
You'll never believe who's the editor of my school's yearbook. Yup, that's right me! Well not fully editor, just co-editor. I hate my co-editor, his name's Gary, and he's a junior. Talk about being stuck up, he would win the prize for the worst egotistical jerk. Parker's doing great, he's my head photographer. I appreciate him being on staff, he stands up for me when I can't do it for myself. I mean around upperclassmen I'm pretty intimidated.
Personally, Parker and I have been doing okay. Not great, but okay. Earlier in the fall, I asked him to homecoming, and he never really gave me an answer, which was better than what happened the year before. . . but let's not go there. We had gone out on a few dates, just shopping, and a few movies. In fact we were going to see a movie tonight, but I wasn't prepared for what was going to happen.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 1: Expect The Unexpected
We were driving home from the movie. It was okay, a bit boring though. I had almost fallen asleep on Parker a few times, but now after a dose of Mountain Dew I was wired. We were just about home, Parker was stopped at a stoplight, and then he turned the wrong way.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Let's go bowling." He said as he pulled into the parking lot.
"I guess I don't have a choice." I smiled and got out of the car. Keep in mind that at this point in time Parker and I were not going out, we were "just friends," you know the deal.
Anyways, rumors apparently were flying at school thanks to Parker's sister Claire. She was very much an airhead, but could be nice at times. I thought it was weird that she even cared about who her brother went out with enough to spread rumors. I just brushed them off; I don't think anybody else really cared about them either.
We were having a lot of fun, until some other girls from my school showed up. I knew some of them, they were pretty nice, but one wasn't. Her name was Emily, and she was, well frankly a whore. I mean she wasn't a prostitute by any means that I was aware of. However, she very much flaunted what little she had. She wasn't that pretty, and she was very annoying.
The whole time we were bowling, when it wasn't Parker's turn, she would come up behind him and try to jump on his back, or keep hugging him, stuff like that. I was so ready to tell her off. I mean it! You don't think I could, do you?! Well, I was gonna. . . But I didn't, I wish I would've. Yeah, yeah, just shut up; I know.
I am fully aware that we were not an item. But we came together, and she could at least have the decency to get off Parker, and go buy a bra! He wasn't enjoying this either. He kept yelling at her to leave him alone, and stay away from him, but she thought it was funny!
After a while she left, and then the night really started. I was beating Parker pretty bad, and he would make up excuses as to why. A little girl and her parents came and started bowling next to us. When it wasn't his turn, he would go over and talk to the little girl. He seemed to have a knack with kids. He had told me before that when he got married he wanted a lot. I thought it was sweet. It was just nice, it made me smile when I saw them laughing together.
Soon the night was drawing to a close for us. Everything had been so wonderful, and I didn't want the night to end. Parker went up to pay for our games, and I was putting on my shoes when the little girl came up to me.
"Is he your boyfriend?" She asked sweetly.
I thought for a moment. Parker and I had joked about exactly where we were in our so-called relationship. She smiled thoughtfully, and I answered, "No, we're just friends."
"Oh, cuz he acts like your boyfriend." She smiled and scampered away. Time seemed to stand still for a few brief moments.
"Hey babe, let's get going okay." Parker swung his arm around me, and we walked out to his car. On the way home we mostly talked of how much of a slut Emily was. We were nearing my house when I took a dive. "That little girl asked me if we were going out." I stated.
"And what did you say?" Parker turned a corner.
"I said no." I relayed honestly.
"Why didn't you say yes?" He laughed.
This surprised me. Me, being stupid, I thought that he was hinting at something more. We stopped in front of my house. "Parker, can I ask you something?" I changed the tone to a more serious one.
"Sure." He put the car in park, and looked at me.
"Where are we? I mean people are always asking me if we're going out, and I don't know what to tell them, because I don't know. What should I tell them?"
"Oh god please don't go there. I like things just the way they are. We're just friends, and I have fun with you; it's nothing more than that. Think about it Serena, I mean to me relationships in high school mean nothing." He replied honestly.
I could have burst out into tears, but I held them back. "Yeah, you're right, we're just friends. I'm sorry. I have to go, have a good night." I hastily got out of the car, and ran into my house. I had never felt so horrible in my entire life. Not even with Darien.
With Darien it was one thing. Yes, I liked him very much, but I knew very well that he did not like me in return. In fact, I knew who the exact person was that he did like, when I had my crush on him. But Parker was different, he was my knight in shining armor; I was never supposed to cry over him.
With Parker, I would flirt, and instead of deflecting it like Darien, he would flirt right back. He was a touchy guy who would often hug me, or put his arm around me. Though we never held hands. It just seemed like everything that had happened was shot down. All that we had ever had suddenly meant nothing to me. And I just wanted to cry. I ran up to my room, and I cried myself to sleep. It was the first time that I had cried over Parker, and that scared me.
I just couldn't forget those words: "Relationships in high school mean nothing." I guess I could see where he was coming from. But in my whole world they meant everything. I know that I over romanticize things. And yes, I want Prince Charming to come knocking at my door and sweep me off my feet. What girl doesn't?!
It just felt so bad because I thought that Parker was that Prince, and he was just hiding for a little while before he told me. Subconsciously I'm sure I knew everything. But those words stung, they hurt real bad. And I couldn't do one damn thing about it.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 2: Confusion Seeps Through
I avoided Parker for a long time after that. Nothing was ever really the same. I know that he knew exactly what I was driving at. But I loved him. He was funny, cute, outrageous, and he gave me the chance to feel the butterflies for the first time. We were complete opposites, but I loved everything about him. That's why it was so hard to let go.
I also knew that I needed to start taking control of my life. In order to start this new way of thinking, I didn't tell anyone what had happened. Yeah, the girls started wondering why Parker wouldn't sit at our lunch table anymore, but I just told them I didn't know. I deflected every question about him. I didn't want to think about what happened. I didn't want to admit to myself that I had done what I did. I had lost him, because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. And now, there was nothing I could do.
After a while, he started talking to me again. But the way he looked at me, I could tell. . . he knew what I had really meant that night. He knew what I really felt. I really was so confused. I get in these valleys, and it just seems like there's no way out. I'm stuck. I'm stuck like I always am. But enough of this. I mean I can't feel sorry for myself forever. I can only mope for so long before it just gets to be too much.
Parker was getting a pretty bad case of Senioritis.** To tell you the truth, close to the end he really was a jerk. We got in little tiffs about his friends, and his plans for the future. I seriously don't even know why. Like I even cared who he hung out with, or what he was gonna do with his life. He had gone from one end of the spectrum to the complete polar end. Who knew he'd do a 180? I sure didn't.
This change of events however produced more of a downward spiral for my life. Nothing seemed to be worth doing anymore. I had lost my motivation, along with a guy that I guess I never really knew as well as I thought I did. It shouldn't have affected me so much. I got through school in Hawaii knowing that Darien, and his girlfriend were doing whatever they were doing back in Japan. This just hit way close to home, and I couldn't stop letting it get under my skin. Letting him get into my life further than he ever knew. It was just depressing, and sad.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 3: Letting My Feelings Free
I awoke one morning in late April, and I had just dreamt of him. I had dreamt that we were together, and that everything was okay. As soon as the sunlight streamed in, and I opened my eyes, I was suddenly jolted back to reality. I was forced to leave behind the dream world of the night, and face the lonely world all by myself like always.
It seemed like forever since I had felt the butterflies, and I missed them so much. I just didn't think that they would ever come back. I was just so frightened that they had left for good.
That whole day just plain sucked. I almost cried like 3 times. For no apparent reason, just because I was miserable. And so I decided to write something, hoping that maybe all I needed to do was unleash my emotions, and let my feelings free from my pent up inner self. So I wrote this poem directed at Parker:
Perhaps this is good bye I might see you again But would you say hi? Will you wave when I walk by?
When I first got to know you You were everything to me There was no thing we couldn't do There was no doubt in my mind
So we did things together I enjoyed the time we had You've always been so funny My smile seemed to never fade
I'm not quite sure when things started to change You didn't seem as happy to see me You started getting a lot busier There wasn't anytime left for me
My feelings stayed the same for you Maybe I changed first I'm always blaming myself for things that happen You were the first to tell me that they weren't
But now things are different When you show up, I'm not sure which side of you will be there And it scares me
First there's my knight in shining armor Standing up to my enemies Hugging me when no one's there Seemingly the only one who cares
Second there is my best bud Always looking for a laugh Wanting my smile to come through Being both honest and trustworthy too
Last is the jerk He's most frequent now You don't notice my feelings All you care for is yourself And everything we had seems to never have been
My world comes crumbling down I'm crying tears I thought I'd never shed Not over you I was never supposed to cry over you
Last summer I would have said I was in love with you You were the only one who understood Things progressed better than I thought they would And you were always there for me with out fail
2 months ago I would have said I liked you We still talked and went places You still had my smile . . . And my heart
Today I almost wish I had never met you Because you so easily forget what we've had All that we've been through All the smiles we've shared
Soon you'll be gone And out of my life Some days I think I won't survive with out you Others I think I should have never talked to you
You caught me at my weakest moments I don't know if you knew what you did You say relationships in high school mean nothing To me, until you said that they did
2 worlds more apart than you could ever know 2 people more different than any others You and I, my friend No, I don't know if you you're my friend any longer
A friend wouldn't leave me here alone A friend wouldn't forget the good times we've had A friend would care about my feelings So if you are my friend it doesn't show
In almost a month I will bid you farewell I just wish it wasn't good riddance.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 4: Disclosing Secrets
School drew to a close, and it soon came to be the last day before Parker would graduate. After which I wasn't sure when I would ever see him again. He came up to me after school had ended.
"Will you sign my yearbook?" I asked.
"Sure." He traded with me.
"I hope you know I'm gonna write a book in here." I laughed.
"That's okay." He smiled. When we had finished, we traded back.
Then I decided to let him in on my secret. I handed him an envelope with the original copy of the poem I had written about him. "You can't open this until after you graduate tomorrow. Promise?" I looked him strait in the eye.
"Course." He took it from me.
"Can I get a good bye hug?" I requested.
"I won't forget you." He hugged me.
"Have a good summer." He let go, and I left.
I turned to leave the building, and never looked back. I was sure as hell gonna try to have a good summer, and let go of what I had left in the walls of the school. I am however attending the same Tennis camp this year, and Parker said that he might drop by. Not after reading what I wrote I'm sure, but I can keep that spark of hope buried deep inside. I'll just have to find the match myself in order to re-light it.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 5: In Closing
So in closing, I would like to relay to you what I've learned thus far. The moral of the story if you will. I've learned that I can't expect much. Simply because I've gotten disappointed way too many times in the past. I've learned that I just can't win. And yes, this is a horrible lesson to tell you all, but hell it's true. I guess I'll try to stay optimistic about the whole situation, but things aren't looking good.
Life's a bitch and then you die. Look! The story of my life. But to tell you the truth it's the choices you make during life and death that count. In the past year I made the choice to stop believing in love. Sad but true for this young girl. My name is Serena Tsukino. I have no hopes and no dreams, I have nothing left. Everyone seems to like to hurt me. And after rebuilding myself so many times, it just gets too hard.
This ending is pretty somber. I'm sorry for those that thought it would be all fun and games from here on out. I'd like to sing you all a song before I leave though. "*The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone. High ho the dairy-O, the cheese stands alone.*" I am the cheese. And I would like to know how come nobody likes cheese. What is wrong with the goddamned cheese!? Wake up Japan! (Or in my case the entire male population under 20) Smell the roses, and then tell me that I'm not good enough to find someone. Sorry for all the yelling, and getting senile, and stuff.
And so ends my sophomore year. What the summer will bring? That's anyone's guess. I'm not going to try. But anyone that's reading this, just do me one favor. If you see Prince Charming wandering around the streets one night drunk as a wombat, tell him to come on over to Serena's house. I could use him, even if he isn't sober. . .
**Senioritis: This is a term used at my school to characterize behavior of seniors towards the end of their High School career. Symptoms may include: partying, drinking, laziness, lack of care towards schoolwork, and relaying true feelings to hated teachers.
AN: Currently 'Darien' and I are doing okay as friends. 'Parker' is a different story. It is now half way through August, and I've tried calling, and I've e-mailed him. Eventually he did contact me, and we saw a movie together. On the way home we got in a fight. He wanted me to visit him, but I said no, because he wouldn't bother to come visit me, so why should I care if he didn't. He told me he did. Before leaving the car and walking in the house I yelled to him that I loved him. He drove off with a chuckle. I have no regrets about the things you've taught me Paul. Not that you would ever read this, but I miss you. I miss the smiles, and the laughs, and the joy you brought into my life. But have no fear Paul, I think someday we'll meet again.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance- Prologue By: Someone Rated: PG-15(complex situations)
This story takes place in the January following the Tennis Camp. Darien had recently been going out with a girl named Allison. She was nice; she changed him. I don't know what it was; he was just nicer, more sincere, and generally happier. Which to tell you the truth made me very happy. We had begun to talk again, and I was still doing great in school.
You'll never believe who's the editor of my school's yearbook. Yup, that's right me! Well not fully editor, just co-editor. I hate my co-editor, his name's Gary, and he's a junior. Talk about being stuck up, he would win the prize for the worst egotistical jerk. Parker's doing great, he's my head photographer. I appreciate him being on staff, he stands up for me when I can't do it for myself. I mean around upperclassmen I'm pretty intimidated.
Personally, Parker and I have been doing okay. Not great, but okay. Earlier in the fall, I asked him to homecoming, and he never really gave me an answer, which was better than what happened the year before. . . but let's not go there. We had gone out on a few dates, just shopping, and a few movies. In fact we were going to see a movie tonight, but I wasn't prepared for what was going to happen.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 1: Expect The Unexpected
We were driving home from the movie. It was okay, a bit boring though. I had almost fallen asleep on Parker a few times, but now after a dose of Mountain Dew I was wired. We were just about home, Parker was stopped at a stoplight, and then he turned the wrong way.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Let's go bowling." He said as he pulled into the parking lot.
"I guess I don't have a choice." I smiled and got out of the car. Keep in mind that at this point in time Parker and I were not going out, we were "just friends," you know the deal.
Anyways, rumors apparently were flying at school thanks to Parker's sister Claire. She was very much an airhead, but could be nice at times. I thought it was weird that she even cared about who her brother went out with enough to spread rumors. I just brushed them off; I don't think anybody else really cared about them either.
We were having a lot of fun, until some other girls from my school showed up. I knew some of them, they were pretty nice, but one wasn't. Her name was Emily, and she was, well frankly a whore. I mean she wasn't a prostitute by any means that I was aware of. However, she very much flaunted what little she had. She wasn't that pretty, and she was very annoying.
The whole time we were bowling, when it wasn't Parker's turn, she would come up behind him and try to jump on his back, or keep hugging him, stuff like that. I was so ready to tell her off. I mean it! You don't think I could, do you?! Well, I was gonna. . . But I didn't, I wish I would've. Yeah, yeah, just shut up; I know.
I am fully aware that we were not an item. But we came together, and she could at least have the decency to get off Parker, and go buy a bra! He wasn't enjoying this either. He kept yelling at her to leave him alone, and stay away from him, but she thought it was funny!
After a while she left, and then the night really started. I was beating Parker pretty bad, and he would make up excuses as to why. A little girl and her parents came and started bowling next to us. When it wasn't his turn, he would go over and talk to the little girl. He seemed to have a knack with kids. He had told me before that when he got married he wanted a lot. I thought it was sweet. It was just nice, it made me smile when I saw them laughing together.
Soon the night was drawing to a close for us. Everything had been so wonderful, and I didn't want the night to end. Parker went up to pay for our games, and I was putting on my shoes when the little girl came up to me.
"Is he your boyfriend?" She asked sweetly.
I thought for a moment. Parker and I had joked about exactly where we were in our so-called relationship. She smiled thoughtfully, and I answered, "No, we're just friends."
"Oh, cuz he acts like your boyfriend." She smiled and scampered away. Time seemed to stand still for a few brief moments.
"Hey babe, let's get going okay." Parker swung his arm around me, and we walked out to his car. On the way home we mostly talked of how much of a slut Emily was. We were nearing my house when I took a dive. "That little girl asked me if we were going out." I stated.
"And what did you say?" Parker turned a corner.
"I said no." I relayed honestly.
"Why didn't you say yes?" He laughed.
This surprised me. Me, being stupid, I thought that he was hinting at something more. We stopped in front of my house. "Parker, can I ask you something?" I changed the tone to a more serious one.
"Sure." He put the car in park, and looked at me.
"Where are we? I mean people are always asking me if we're going out, and I don't know what to tell them, because I don't know. What should I tell them?"
"Oh god please don't go there. I like things just the way they are. We're just friends, and I have fun with you; it's nothing more than that. Think about it Serena, I mean to me relationships in high school mean nothing." He replied honestly.
I could have burst out into tears, but I held them back. "Yeah, you're right, we're just friends. I'm sorry. I have to go, have a good night." I hastily got out of the car, and ran into my house. I had never felt so horrible in my entire life. Not even with Darien.
With Darien it was one thing. Yes, I liked him very much, but I knew very well that he did not like me in return. In fact, I knew who the exact person was that he did like, when I had my crush on him. But Parker was different, he was my knight in shining armor; I was never supposed to cry over him.
With Parker, I would flirt, and instead of deflecting it like Darien, he would flirt right back. He was a touchy guy who would often hug me, or put his arm around me. Though we never held hands. It just seemed like everything that had happened was shot down. All that we had ever had suddenly meant nothing to me. And I just wanted to cry. I ran up to my room, and I cried myself to sleep. It was the first time that I had cried over Parker, and that scared me.
I just couldn't forget those words: "Relationships in high school mean nothing." I guess I could see where he was coming from. But in my whole world they meant everything. I know that I over romanticize things. And yes, I want Prince Charming to come knocking at my door and sweep me off my feet. What girl doesn't?!
It just felt so bad because I thought that Parker was that Prince, and he was just hiding for a little while before he told me. Subconsciously I'm sure I knew everything. But those words stung, they hurt real bad. And I couldn't do one damn thing about it.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 2: Confusion Seeps Through
I avoided Parker for a long time after that. Nothing was ever really the same. I know that he knew exactly what I was driving at. But I loved him. He was funny, cute, outrageous, and he gave me the chance to feel the butterflies for the first time. We were complete opposites, but I loved everything about him. That's why it was so hard to let go.
I also knew that I needed to start taking control of my life. In order to start this new way of thinking, I didn't tell anyone what had happened. Yeah, the girls started wondering why Parker wouldn't sit at our lunch table anymore, but I just told them I didn't know. I deflected every question about him. I didn't want to think about what happened. I didn't want to admit to myself that I had done what I did. I had lost him, because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. And now, there was nothing I could do.
After a while, he started talking to me again. But the way he looked at me, I could tell. . . he knew what I had really meant that night. He knew what I really felt. I really was so confused. I get in these valleys, and it just seems like there's no way out. I'm stuck. I'm stuck like I always am. But enough of this. I mean I can't feel sorry for myself forever. I can only mope for so long before it just gets to be too much.
Parker was getting a pretty bad case of Senioritis.** To tell you the truth, close to the end he really was a jerk. We got in little tiffs about his friends, and his plans for the future. I seriously don't even know why. Like I even cared who he hung out with, or what he was gonna do with his life. He had gone from one end of the spectrum to the complete polar end. Who knew he'd do a 180? I sure didn't.
This change of events however produced more of a downward spiral for my life. Nothing seemed to be worth doing anymore. I had lost my motivation, along with a guy that I guess I never really knew as well as I thought I did. It shouldn't have affected me so much. I got through school in Hawaii knowing that Darien, and his girlfriend were doing whatever they were doing back in Japan. This just hit way close to home, and I couldn't stop letting it get under my skin. Letting him get into my life further than he ever knew. It was just depressing, and sad.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 3: Letting My Feelings Free
I awoke one morning in late April, and I had just dreamt of him. I had dreamt that we were together, and that everything was okay. As soon as the sunlight streamed in, and I opened my eyes, I was suddenly jolted back to reality. I was forced to leave behind the dream world of the night, and face the lonely world all by myself like always.
It seemed like forever since I had felt the butterflies, and I missed them so much. I just didn't think that they would ever come back. I was just so frightened that they had left for good.
That whole day just plain sucked. I almost cried like 3 times. For no apparent reason, just because I was miserable. And so I decided to write something, hoping that maybe all I needed to do was unleash my emotions, and let my feelings free from my pent up inner self. So I wrote this poem directed at Parker:
Perhaps this is good bye I might see you again But would you say hi? Will you wave when I walk by?
When I first got to know you You were everything to me There was no thing we couldn't do There was no doubt in my mind
So we did things together I enjoyed the time we had You've always been so funny My smile seemed to never fade
I'm not quite sure when things started to change You didn't seem as happy to see me You started getting a lot busier There wasn't anytime left for me
My feelings stayed the same for you Maybe I changed first I'm always blaming myself for things that happen You were the first to tell me that they weren't
But now things are different When you show up, I'm not sure which side of you will be there And it scares me
First there's my knight in shining armor Standing up to my enemies Hugging me when no one's there Seemingly the only one who cares
Second there is my best bud Always looking for a laugh Wanting my smile to come through Being both honest and trustworthy too
Last is the jerk He's most frequent now You don't notice my feelings All you care for is yourself And everything we had seems to never have been
My world comes crumbling down I'm crying tears I thought I'd never shed Not over you I was never supposed to cry over you
Last summer I would have said I was in love with you You were the only one who understood Things progressed better than I thought they would And you were always there for me with out fail
2 months ago I would have said I liked you We still talked and went places You still had my smile . . . And my heart
Today I almost wish I had never met you Because you so easily forget what we've had All that we've been through All the smiles we've shared
Soon you'll be gone And out of my life Some days I think I won't survive with out you Others I think I should have never talked to you
You caught me at my weakest moments I don't know if you knew what you did You say relationships in high school mean nothing To me, until you said that they did
2 worlds more apart than you could ever know 2 people more different than any others You and I, my friend No, I don't know if you you're my friend any longer
A friend wouldn't leave me here alone A friend wouldn't forget the good times we've had A friend would care about my feelings So if you are my friend it doesn't show
In almost a month I will bid you farewell I just wish it wasn't good riddance.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 4: Disclosing Secrets
School drew to a close, and it soon came to be the last day before Parker would graduate. After which I wasn't sure when I would ever see him again. He came up to me after school had ended.
"Will you sign my yearbook?" I asked.
"Sure." He traded with me.
"I hope you know I'm gonna write a book in here." I laughed.
"That's okay." He smiled. When we had finished, we traded back.
Then I decided to let him in on my secret. I handed him an envelope with the original copy of the poem I had written about him. "You can't open this until after you graduate tomorrow. Promise?" I looked him strait in the eye.
"Course." He took it from me.
"Can I get a good bye hug?" I requested.
"I won't forget you." He hugged me.
"Have a good summer." He let go, and I left.
I turned to leave the building, and never looked back. I was sure as hell gonna try to have a good summer, and let go of what I had left in the walls of the school. I am however attending the same Tennis camp this year, and Parker said that he might drop by. Not after reading what I wrote I'm sure, but I can keep that spark of hope buried deep inside. I'll just have to find the match myself in order to re-light it.
*I Just Wish It Wasn't Good Riddance-Part 5: In Closing
So in closing, I would like to relay to you what I've learned thus far. The moral of the story if you will. I've learned that I can't expect much. Simply because I've gotten disappointed way too many times in the past. I've learned that I just can't win. And yes, this is a horrible lesson to tell you all, but hell it's true. I guess I'll try to stay optimistic about the whole situation, but things aren't looking good.
Life's a bitch and then you die. Look! The story of my life. But to tell you the truth it's the choices you make during life and death that count. In the past year I made the choice to stop believing in love. Sad but true for this young girl. My name is Serena Tsukino. I have no hopes and no dreams, I have nothing left. Everyone seems to like to hurt me. And after rebuilding myself so many times, it just gets too hard.
This ending is pretty somber. I'm sorry for those that thought it would be all fun and games from here on out. I'd like to sing you all a song before I leave though. "*The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone. High ho the dairy-O, the cheese stands alone.*" I am the cheese. And I would like to know how come nobody likes cheese. What is wrong with the goddamned cheese!? Wake up Japan! (Or in my case the entire male population under 20) Smell the roses, and then tell me that I'm not good enough to find someone. Sorry for all the yelling, and getting senile, and stuff.
And so ends my sophomore year. What the summer will bring? That's anyone's guess. I'm not going to try. But anyone that's reading this, just do me one favor. If you see Prince Charming wandering around the streets one night drunk as a wombat, tell him to come on over to Serena's house. I could use him, even if he isn't sober. . .
**Senioritis: This is a term used at my school to characterize behavior of seniors towards the end of their High School career. Symptoms may include: partying, drinking, laziness, lack of care towards schoolwork, and relaying true feelings to hated teachers.
AN: Currently 'Darien' and I are doing okay as friends. 'Parker' is a different story. It is now half way through August, and I've tried calling, and I've e-mailed him. Eventually he did contact me, and we saw a movie together. On the way home we got in a fight. He wanted me to visit him, but I said no, because he wouldn't bother to come visit me, so why should I care if he didn't. He told me he did. Before leaving the car and walking in the house I yelled to him that I loved him. He drove off with a chuckle. I have no regrets about the things you've taught me Paul. Not that you would ever read this, but I miss you. I miss the smiles, and the laughs, and the joy you brought into my life. But have no fear Paul, I think someday we'll meet again.