Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Losing you place ❯ none ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer : I don't own the characters.

After watching some television today I suddenly felt inspired to write something sad, yet happy with a good ending. After some plotting this came out. It's about Haruka and Michiru who haven't seen each other for three years after a nasty break up. Both tried to move on but find it's harder to do than it looks like. Haruka finally moves back to Tokyo to find out what exactly went wrong and in the hope to be forgiven for leaving. Will Michiru forgive her or will this be the very end for the two of them?

Pairing: (Obviously) HarukaMichiru

The title was inspired by the song 'digging the heroine' by Econoline crush. If you don't know the song... shame on you!

It was rather cold for this time of the year. Although the sun had done nothing but shine brightly the past few weeks it actually had started to rain today. Haruka didn't like it. The wind was too restless. She had never liked the rain anyway. She used to. At least, until three years ago. Now it just reminded her of the lover she had left behind. It now reminded her of all the time she had spend in front of the fire with her aqua haired beauty.

She had been so foolish to walk away that day. She should've stayed and even now she was still cursing herself for her actions. Sometimes she wondered it she should just go back but everytime she thought about it she decided it was better not to. She didn't know if it wouldn't be such a good idea to just return after three years. Besides, what would she say to all her friends? What could she tell Michiru?

What if Michiru was happy now? It was impossible that Michiru was still waiting for her and hadn't moved on. What if she had found herself a new girlfriend. One who was perfect unlike herself?

She shook her head. She shouldn't be asking those questions. She shouldn't even be thinking them nor about the oceanic nymph. Slowly she lowered her head before covering her eyes with her hands. 'What's happening to me?' Three years. Three damned years and still she was thinking of Michiru. She shouldn't be doing this. She was dating someone else now. She was happy now. Wasn't she?

Of course she wasn't happy. She smiled bitterly. If she really was as happy as she claimed then why was she sitting here, thinking of the girl she had lost so many years ago. Ever since she had moved to America she had felt like she didn't have feelings anymore. As if she was just an empty body, with no soul, no warmth, no blood running through her veins or anything. Just. Nothingness.

''Haruka, I'm home!'' A voice sounded causing the tomboy to snap out of her thoughts and look up at the brunette who stepped into the livingroom. Without saying a word she pressed her lips on Haruka's. The kiss didn't last long though. Sometimes Haruka even wondered if the girl felt what she felt everytime they were kissing or made love. Because Haruka felt nothing at all. In fact, it felt like each and every day part of her was dying. She knew that if this would continue to go on like this she would eventually kill herself.

She could no longer do this. She couldn't lie to herself, to her girlfriend nor to Michiru. She had to go back to Tokyo and make it up for her mistakes. She knew Michiru wouldn't forgive her easily if she would give her a chance at all. But she couldn't just sit here and keep asking herself 'what if' when she would never find the answer. ''Nancy,'' Haruka paused for a moment, waiting for her girlfriend to sit down.

The brunette noticed the tone in her lover's voice and was very aware of the fact nothing good would come of this conversation. She had noticed it before on the way Haruka talked to her or looked at her but now she was sure. Something was bothering the blonde and whatever it had been, she would find out now. ''Yes?'' She asked although she didn't want to hear it. She knew listening to what Haruka had to say meant losing her.

Nancy took a deep breath and sat down on the chair across Haruka. Hazel eyes met green ones. ''We need to talk.'' Haruka whispered, stating the obvious. She could tell just by looking at the other that this wasn't going to be as easy as she thought it would be. They had been together for over a year now. Never had they fought. In fact, everything had been perfect. Nancy had supported her in whatever she did or wanted without ever asking a question. She was perfect. It pained Haruka to know that within a few seconds she would break this girl's heart.

Her explaination? She didn't have one. She was just acting upon instinct. ''It's about my life before I came here,'' She paused for a moment. She looked away quickly, not wanting to face the brunette. ''I came here because... Because I had no where else to go. I had a fight with my girlfriend. She was my first love, my first lover, my only friend. My partner....'' Haruka tried her best to keep her tears from falling down but she failed desperately.

She opened her mouth again but was cut off by Nancy who placed a finger on her lips. Then after getting Haruka to look up at her again she removed her finger and took Haruka's hands in her own. She of course was now sitting on Haruka's lap and without any further warning she pulled Haruka into a tight hug and let her own tears fall openly. ''Don't cry, Ruka.''

What are you fighting for?
Everything and more...

Haruka hesitated at first but finally put her arms around Nancy. She didn't deserve her love. This girl was too honest, too sweet. ''I left.'' Haruka said, crying into the girls shoulder. ''I left her and I haven't talked to her ever since.'' She went on, not knowing why she was telling the other this. Probably because she felt like Nancy deserved to know the truth. ''She attempted to call me but I was too angry, too stubborn to return her calls or even pick up,'' She swallowed away the lump that had formed in her throat. ''Eventually she gave up as well.''

''I-if her l-love...'' Nancy sobbed. ''Is a-as strong as yours... She'll forgive you.''

Haruka opened her eyes in shock. Nancy knew. She knew exactly that she was planning on moving back to Tokyo. Or at least, visit Tokyo once more. Michiru's reaction would also be Haruka's answer to the question whether to stay or not. She wasn't so sure yet on what question she wanted, needed an answer. ''I'm so sorry.''

''Don't be.'' Nancy pulled back a little, taking Haruka's hands in her own once more. ''You can't force love. If you love her then so be it. I would never be satisfied with being a second choice anyway. I want you to be happy.'' With that said she released on of Haruka's hands to wipe away her own tears. ''I'll be alright. You shouldn't worry about me.''

''But,'' The tomboy started but Nancy cut her off.

''I'll be fine.'' She reassured. ''As long as you will be, so will I.'' A small smiled appeared on her lips. It was a bit forced but yet very honest. ''You can go tomorrow. I'll book you a flight online. You should go to bed now. And rest.''

Haruka shook her head. ''It's alright. I'll book a flight first thing tomorrow. Right now I want you to sleep with me,'' The blonde paused for a slight moment. ''Just to sleep. I want to hold you.'' She finally admitted after a few seconds.

The brunette smiled. ''Alright.'' For the last time. One more time. She thought to herself before crawling off of Haruka's lap. When she had straightened herself up she took a deep breath. ''You know I love you, right?''

''I know.'' The other replied. 'I wish I could return those feelings.' She did care about Nancy but not in the way she should be. Not in the way she cared for Michiru. Who would've thought that after three years of being apart Haruka's feelings for her lost love had grown even more. It almost seemed impossible yet very true. There wasn't a day that went by that she missed Michiru, that she longed to hold her in her arms and never let go again. Michiru's sweet lips on her own.

She quickly shook her head when she noticed that Nancy had already made her way towards their bedroom. ''I'm sorry.'' She whispered again to no one in particular.

-----

(The next day)

Haruka shivered as she watched the planes land and take off. It was still a cold day much to her dismay. Her flight would leave in an hour which gave her plenty of time to reflect on what had happened earlier this morning. Nancy had offered to escort her to the airport but Haruka had declined. It would only make things harder than they already were.

The tomboy now looked down at her pale hands. Would she like what she was going to find back in Japan. What was she going to say? How would the others react to her return. She figured that Usagi would forgive her but the others? She wasn't sure. Then again, she wasn't sure about anything at all.

That used to be different when she was still Sailor Uranus. After they defeated Galaxia she had slowly lost her vision of life. All she had was Michiru to keep her going but look what she had done to the only person she ever truly loved. Three years were a long time for a person to change. A tear slide down her face as she remembered how Michiru had taken her hand in her own a long time ago right before they found out they were the holders of the talisman. Would she still feel the same as back then? Would she still be able to comfort Haruka or would she turn her back to her?

Quickly Haruka put her hands down again. She had sinned a lot back then, being able to sacrifice anyone to fulfill their mission. But the biggest sin she had ever commited was hurting Michiru.

I'm holding out my hands
why are you keeping score?
battered and torn...

With that she turned around and started to walk towards the person who was checking people's tickets before letting them get on board. Haruka smiled sadly. Michiru might not forgive her but she was going to try. She wanted to make it work again. And really, she didn't care about what she would find. No matter if Michiru had moved on and even if she would be married or something. Haruka would get her lover back.

If not... She didn't even want to consider what would happen if Michiru didn't forgive her or would take her back. Of course she knew that forgiving her for fighting was something that could be done but for walking away like she had? For not answering to Michiru's calls when she had the chance? For trying to move on with her life and trying to forget the love she once had? She really didn't know if that was something anyone could forgive.

Not even the usually soft-hearted Michiru would forgive her that easily. She had at least more than ten hours to think of what to say and what to tell Michiru. She would need the time to think of how to apologize. Haruka didn't care about pride anymore. She would go on hands and knees if it meant getting Michiru back. She wouldn't even hesitate to twist a knife in her aching heart if that's what it would take.

''I'm so sorry.'' She whispered as she showed a man her ticket. He took it from her and gave it a thorough look. It seemed he had some trouble with Haruka's name though.

''Welcome aboard Miss. Tenoh.'' She greeted her, wondering why Haruka had told him she was sorry. Of course he had no idea that her words weren't directed at him at all. In fact, Haruka wasn't even aware of saying those words out loud. ''Have a nice flight.''

Haruka just nodded. ''Thanks.'' With that she took the ticket back and walked towards the entry of the plane.

A few minutes later she had finallt found her seat and sat down with a sigh. It was still hard to believe she was actually doing this. She was now gazing out of the window. Beneath her people were working hard on moving boxes and suitcases from one place to the other. She could feel how someone stared at her for a couple of seconds before sitting down next to her.

The tomboy didn't look up though. She was too afraid that the person next to her would be one of those people who loved to talk the whole way to their destination. ''You should know me better.'' A feminine voice stated as if reading Haruka's mind.

Completely in shock Haruka turned her head to look at the woman who sat beside her. The woman had green long hair and the darkest eyes Haruka had ever seen. ''Setsuna...'' Haruka stammered in shock. Out of all people who were placed beside her it had to be Setsuna?

The green haired woman nodded, her eyes never leaving Haruka's. ''Are you aware of the fact this is a flight straight to Japan?''

''You were in America too?'' Haruka asked, not bothering to answer the other's question. ''I guess I should've known. I heard all kinds of stories about a huge fashion show. You never miss one.''

''You need to be updated.'' Setsuna replied, smiling politely although her tone indicated that she was upset with the taller woman who was sitting next to her. ''I became a fashion designer not shortly after Galaxia was turned back to normal. This was my show. But you're changing the subject. Why are you...''

Haruka cut her off. ''Congratulations. I'm glad you managed to fulfill your dream like that. I wish I could've been there.'' A sigh escaped her lips.

The other didn't know why but suddenly her anger towards the blonde tomboy subsided. She no longer felt angry with Haruka. Instead of that she felt sorry for her. By the looks of it Haruka wasn't doing well. Her eyes were full of regret and pain. Setsuna wasn't an expert in such things but she knew for a fact that Haruka had been through a rough time as well. The last thing she needed was to get angry with her. ''You came back for her, didn't you?''

Finally Haruka looked away and slightly nodded. ''I did. How is she...''

This time Setsuna cut her off. ''She's fine. Doing much better than you seem to be doing though. She tried to move on but somehow she can't. She dated a lot of people but she always came home complaining that they weren't, well. Frankly, they weren't you.'' The green haired woman paused for a moment. ''She is angry with you Haruka. She tried to contact you. She even tried to find you but you just vanished out of our lives. I don't think this will be easy for you. If you're planning on what I think you are that is.''

''I know.'' Came the reply. ''I know I fucked up. I should've stayed. And to be honest. I don't even know what we had been fighting about anymore. It seems to pointless now. So unimportant. I want her back Setsuna. I never wanted anything this bad before. I need her.''

''Hey, hey...'' Setsuna placed a hand on Haruka's shoulder, sensing that she was about to start crying. ''Don't get all emotional with me. Save your tears for when you face her. You'll need to show her how much you regret your actions.''

Haruka smiled a bit before wiping away the tear that had fallen down her cheek. ''I'm sorry.'' She hesitated for a moment. It was obvious that she was about to ask something. ''D-do you forgive me?'' She finally managed to bring out.

''I forgive you.'' Setsuna whispered before hugging Haruka. ''I forgive you. Just make sure she does too.''

I don't understand....

-------

The rest of the flight Haruka and Setsuna had done nothing but talk about what had been going on in their lives during the other's absence. Haruka had come to find out that Michiru had stopped playing the violin and that she hadn't even bothered to paint ever since Haruka left. The tomboy knew the only reason Setsuna was telling this was to make her feel guilty. Not like she didn't deserve it. Besides, she had asked herself. She wanted to know how Michiru was doing.

Setsuna's reaction upon hearing that Haruka had dated a girl named Nancy for over a year didn't go very well. She immediately started to scold Haruka for being so cruel and heartless but eventually she calmed down again, telling Haruka to not mention Nancy to Michiru because it would break her heart.

''Everyone, we just arrived in Japan. Please take your personal stuff with you while you leave. I hope you had a nice flight. Please come back soon.'' A voice spoke causing all passagers to stand up.

''Well,'' Haruka paused for a moment. ''Would you like to give me a lift to Michiru's house?''

''Don't need to.'' Setsuna smiled before picking up her purse from the ground. ''She and Hotaru are waiting for me outside of the building. They wanted to pick me up.''

The blonde went wide eyed upon hearing this. Setsuna was still punishing her for those three years of being away or else she would've told Haruka about this before. Haruka still had no idea what to tell Michiru. She didn't have the time to do so either. Before she could Setsuna had already taken her hand in her own and started to drag her towards the exit. ''Don't be such a whimp Haruka. Just act calm. Just have patience with her and she might, just might, consider giving you a chance.''

''You're enjoying this, aren't you?'' Haruka hissed while being pulled through the main hall towards the parking lot.

''I would be lying if I said I wasn't.'' The other replied before pushing the doors open. It surprised the blonde to see how bright the sun was shining here compared to America. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to find out how it felt to be home again. Much to her dismay it didn't feel different at all. Instead of that she could feel her heart ache. Soon she would face Michiru again.

''Maybe,'' Haruka paused for a moment causing Setsuna to stop walking and turn around to face her.

''Don't back out on me now. If you wait any longer you'll be too late. If you aren't already. She loves you but she won't wait forever.'' Setsuna warned, glaring at the tomboy who just nodded and let herself be dragged onto the parking lot.

After a few more minutes Setsuna finally stopped, releasing Haruka's hand. Completely unaware why they stopped Haruka looked up only to face two girls. One she recognized as Hotaru and the other as Michiru. For a moment it felt like the clock had stopped ticking, as if the time stood still. All she could do was stare right into Michiru's blue and now tear filled eyes.

The spell was broken when suddenly Hotaru started running towards her 'papa' and hugged her leg tightly. ''Haruka-papa!'' The girl screamed happily as tears fell down her face. Haruka broke her gaze with Michiru to bend down and pick up the little black haired girl.

''My little hime-chan.'' Haruka said, pulling the child into a tight hug. She tried her best to keep herself from crying and much to her surprise she managed to actually do it. This was something she had missed almost as much as Michiru. This little girl was still reffering to her as her 'father' after three years. ''I love you so much.'' The tomboy whispered into the girls ear.

Hotaru smiled before putting her arms around her papa's neck. ''I've missed you papa.'' She cried. ''Are you going to leave again?''

''Never,'' Haruka replied. ''Never.'' She hadn't been sure about it before but now she had seen her family again she was sure that she wouldn't be able to leave like that ever again.

Setsuna cleared her throat causing Haruka to look up at her. It took her some time before she realized why the other had interrupted the moment. Behind her Michiru had started to run away. ''I'll be right back.'' Haruka said, quickly putting Hotaru down on the ground before running after the aqua haired girl. Finally all those time she trained herself paid off.

She had no trouble catching up with Michiru at all. ''Wait up!'' Haruka yelled, taking Michiru's wrist in her hand causing her to stop. ''Please, hear me out...'' She begged but before she could continue Michiru had already turned around and slapped her across the face.

''How dare you!'' She yelled as tears run down her cheeks. ''How fucking dare you?!'' She repeated. ''What gives you the right to be here!''

''My passport.'' Haruka replied sarcastically before realizing that her comment wasn't actually helping at all. ''I'm sorry.''

Michiru pulled her hand loose, stepping backwards while making sure there was enough distance between her and the blonde. ''You have to right to just appear into my life like this. I don't know what you paid Setsuna or what you did or said but I don't care. I hate you! I want you gone!''

''Michiru...'' Haruka started but once again Michiru cut her off by slapping her.

''Now!'' She yelled. ''I want you gone, now!''

Haruka took a deep breath. She knew Michiru would be angry but this angry? Slowly she put a hand on her burning spot on her cheek. ''Ok, I deserved that but would you please listen to me?'' She had no idea what she was going to say or do but she knew it wouldn't matter anyway if Michiru wasn't going to give her a chance to talk.

Shouting out loud but no one hears
whispers to screams to tears

''I don't want to listen to you. I'm over you. I'm done with you. You're just a selfish pig! You left me! You left me! I thought you loved me. I thought we had something special! I thought we would be together forever. But you walked away Haruka! Not me! You did!'' The aqua haired girl yelled before slapping Haruka for the third time. ''When it got a bit too complicated for you, you did the only thing you're good at. Run!''

''I know,'' Haruka sighed. ''I know and I'm sorry. But I'm tired of running now Michiru. I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of convincing myself and everyone around me that I'm over you. Because I'm not. What I did was wrong. I shouldn't have walked away like that. I left you alone, I know. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't regret that. But to be honest Michiru, I didn't come her because I wanted your forgiveness.''

Michiru opened her mouth to say something but found herself unable to speak. Instead of that she just waited for Haruka to continue. ''I came back because I needed to breathe again. Because I needed to feel alive. I wanted to see you, no... I needed to see you. I can't live my life like this. These three years.. I won't lie, have been a hell for me. Not every damned day but most of the time I just felt like dying. I knew where you were and I knew how to contact you but I just couldn't. I couldn't face you. I was, am too ashamed.''

''Liar!'' Michiru hissed, raising her hand to smack Haruka once more. This time the tomboy stopped her by taking hold of her hand. ''Let go of me.''

''I'm sorry.'' Haruka said as finally the first pair of tears made their way down her face. ''I'm so sorry. I can't even describe how sorry I am. And I know that won't fix anything. I know it won't make the pain go away but I just wanted you to know. I need you Michiru. I love you so much that it hurts to know I pushed you away like I have. I know I don't deserve a second chance and I know you probably hate me. But still I came back.''

''Liar...'' Michiru cried, trying to pull her hand loose but found herself getting weaker by the second. Haruka's words had too much affect on her to stay strong. ''Liar..'' She repeated, hitting Haruka's chest with her free hand. At first she managed to hit Haruka pretty hard but at a certain point her hits became weaker until she finally gave up and fell to her knees.

Haruka never released the girl's hands and just bend down. ''I love you.'' Haruka whispered.

''Shut up.''

''I love you. Forgive me. Take me back.''

''Shut up.'' Michiru yelled hysterical as more tears fell down her face. ''Just shut up!''

''Please,'' Haruka cried. Finally after a few moment she pulled Michiru into a tight hug, planning to never let go. At first Michiru kept fighting her but eventually she gave up and burried her face in Haruka's jacket. ''I'm so sorry.'' The blonde added. It really pained her to see that she was the main reason for Michiru getting hurt like this.

Easing your way from bad to worseLosing your place, forgot the verse

They remained like this for a few minutes. Then, Michiru pulled back again. She was now sitting on the ground while staring right into Haruka's emerald coloured eyes. Suddenly a wave of rage washed over her. She wanted to believe Haruka, she really did but she knew it was impossible after all these years. Haruka could've come back to her a long time ago. Why now? Why after three years? Did it really take that long to realize you love someone?

''How could you just leave?''

Haruka shook her head, looking away for a brief second. ''I don't know. I really don't. I wish I had the answer. But....'' She swallowed. ''I'm sorry.''

The aqua haired girl didn't know why but she just knew that Haruka was telling the truth when it came to being sorry. If they ever stood a fair chance, she didn't know. It would be too difficult to just forget all of this. It was too difficult to go on while know how easy Haruka had thrown away what they had over some silly fight. ''Do you even know what we fought about?''

Haruka opened her mouth to say something, anything but to be honest she had no idea what to say and just shook her head. ''You. We fought about you. You and your stupid flirting. I told you that it was bothering me and you said it meant nothing. You told me I was the only girl that mattered. I asked you to stop and you promised you would.''

''But I didn't.'' Haruka sighed. It slowly came back to her. ''The next day you found me in a compromising position with Minako.''

Michiru nodded. She clenched her fists. ''That's when it got serious.''

''I never slept with her.'' Haruka said. She could now fully remember that day. Minako had told her about her crush on Rei and had asked Haruka to help her out. She wanted to know how to have sex with a woman and Haruka had of course tried to explain. Then, because of some stupid reason Minako started to dance around the room, being in her usual giddy moods before falling down. Haruka tried to keep her from falling but instead of that she fell down as well, landing on the ground with Minako on top of her.

Bad luck after bad luck because Minako's shirt had ripped during the fall and just when they were about to get up Michiru had walked into the room, asking what that noise was. Which of course had came from the fall. The rest, was a known story.

''I know,'' Michiru whispered. ''That's why I kept calling you. When you didn't return home after two days I went over to Minako. I thought you would be there but you weren't. I ended up asking her about what happened and she told me it was all just a big misunderstanding. That you fell and her shirt ripped. I tried to tell you that I was sorry. That I should've trusted you but you never gave me the chance.''

''Are you going to give me the chance now?'' Haruka asked.

''To explain why you walked away or...'' Michiru's voice sounded cold and emotionless as if she was ready to attack Haruka without a second thought.

''To prove how much I love you.'' Haruka replied, her voice shaking slightly. Everything depended on Michiru's answer now. Yes or no. It was that simple.

Michiru shook her head. ''If you would let me choose now I'd say no. It's not as easy as you think. I don't know what you have been doing these past three years but there's a huge gap between us now. It's like I don't know you anymore. The Haruka I knew disappeared. I don't know anymore. I don't know what to believe or not.''

''Then don't forgive me. Yet.'' Haruka said, slowly getting up. So did Michiru. ''Just let me prove to you that I can be the person you want me to be. I'll live in a hotel as long as it takes. I can even take care of Hotaru now and then.'' She paused for a moment. It hadn't been until now that Haruka realized they were still on the parking lot and that a few people had been watching the two fight for quite some time now. ''I'll wait as long as it takes.''

''And if I decide I don't want to date nor see you ever again?''

Haruka closed her eyes for a moment. ''I pray to god that won't be the case but if it is,'' She took Michiru's hand in her own. ''If that's the case then so be it. But I won't leave ever again. Not without you.'' She wanted to kiss the smaller girl, hold her and tell her everything was going to be fine now but she knew it would be too soon.

''Alright. You can stay in the guest room.'' Michiru said, pulling her hands away from Haruka's. ''But it's not ok yet. I haven't forgiven you.''

''I know,'' The tomboy smiled slightly. ''But at least it's something. It's a start. You won't regret it Michiru. I swear.'' Then without any further warning she hugged Michiru. When the smaller girl didn't reply or do anything she pulled back again, her smile never fading. ''Thanks.''

''Don't expect too much.'' Michiru stated before gesturing the blonde to follow her back to the car where Setsuna and Hotaru were still waiting.

Begging for forgiveness...

----

It had been two weeks ago since Michiru had agreed on letting Haruka prove herself. Things hadn't changed much though. Much to Haruka's dismay. Michiru was still trying hard to avoid her. She hardly spoke to her and when she did their conversation didn't get any further than 'good morning' and 'good night'. Haruka had tried but it seemed impossible to reach Michiru.

She wasn't going to give up though. She would never give up. Haruka was now sitting behind the dinning table, taking small sips from her tea while reading the newspaper. Setsuna had left earlier because of a fashion show in Germany. She had taken Hotaru with her, knowing that Haruka and Michiru would need some time for theirselves. To reflect on what had happened and what would happen.

Haruka couldn't even start by saying how much she appreciated the gesture. She could indeed use some time to herself and with Michiru without being interrupted every second. ''Good morning.'' Michiru's voice came from the door opening causing Haruka to jump slightly.

''Good morning,'' Haruka replied, putting down the newspaper she was holding and turned around to face the smaller girl. She was the most beautiful girl in the world. Haruka knew no one could ever compete. ''How have you slept?''

''Fine.'' Michiru's short reply came. ''You?'' It was obvious that she wasn't in the mood to talk.

''Didn't sleep much.'' The tomboy confessed. ''I couldn't stop thinking about a certain girl who was sleeping in the room next to mine.'' She could hear Michiru sigh heavily. Was she angry? Tired? Had she decided she didn't want to give Haruka another chance?

''Don't say that.'' The aqua haired girl begged. 'I can't afford to get hurt by you again. I just can't.'

''It's true.'' Came the reply. Finally Haruka put her cup of tea down on the table as well and stood up. Michiru wanted to walk away again but Haruka stopped her by pushing her against the door. Michiru was now facing Haruka with a scared look in her eyes. ''I know...'' The senshi of the wind started. ''I know you're afraid Michiru. I know because I am too. Not because I don't have faith in us because I do. No, I'm afraid because I fear losing you again.''

''Please let go of me. I need to go to work.'' Michiru lied, completely forgetting that it was only 6am in the morning.

''I love you.'' Haruka whispered as she bend her head down to place a kiss on the smaller girl's lips. She decided not to go through with it just when their lips were only a few inches from touching. Instead she just rested her head on Michiru's shoulder. ''Forgive me.'' She now asked, whispering in the other girl's ear over and over how much she loved her.

''Please,'' Michiru tried again. ''Let go of me Haruka. I can't.... not yet.''

''Then when?'' The blonde asked. ''How long will you make me wait? How long will you keep this up?''

''Don't do this. It's not that easy...''

Haruka pulled back a little, once again facing the aqua haired beauty. ''Do you still love me?''

''I don't know...''

Disappointed with the answer Haruka tried again. ''Do you still love me?''

''I don't kn... yes. No. Yes.'' Michiru said. ''I don't know.'' She finally added causing Haruka to smile. Michiru still loved her, she knew it. Or else she wouldn't be here anymore. Or else she would even have this much power over the smaller girl.

''Can I kiss you?'' The tomboy now asked. She still wondered if it had been too soon to ask.

''I'd rather not.'' Michiru replied in all honesty but Haruka ignored her and just stepped closer again. Then without saying anything she took Michiru's hands in her own and brought her face closer. For the first time in three years their lips met in a sweet, passionate yet innocent kiss. To both of them it seemed like the world around them had completely disappeared. It was just them now. Flying through an empty space while holding each other, kissing and enjoying the moment.

They knew it wouldn't last forever which made this kiss almost bitter sweet.

Finally after what seemed like hours they pulled back, both a little out of breath. ''I...'' Michiru stammered. She closed her mouth again, pushed Haruka away and quickly ran out of the room. Leaving Haruka behind.

''Fuck.'' The tomboy hissed in annoyance. But at least she knew Michiru still cared for her. She now knew she still stood a chance. With that she also stepped out of the kitchen and walked over to Michiru's bedroom, knocking on the door after finding that it was locked. ''Michiru, please open the door. I think we need to talk.''

No reply.

''I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...'' She sighed. ''Actually I'm not sorry. I like kissing you, I like holding you and I wouldn't regret doing such ever in my life. I know you might be mad at me now. I know I said I'd wait forever but it's hard. It's hard to see you every day without being able to kiss you like before. While knowing I wn't wake up next to you.''

No reply.

''Please Michiru. At least say something.'' She tried again but in vain. She remained standing there for a few more minutes before making her way back to the livingroom. Once again she let out a big sigh before falling down on the couch. ''What am I going to do now?'' Maybe she should just go out for a walk or something. She needed time to think of what to do next. Would Michiru decline if she asked her out on a date or would she accept?

She closed her eyes, trying to recall the old days. It used to be so easy. She had been a fool to throw it all away like that. Such a big, stupid fool. If anyone was to blame for all of this it was her and yet, yet it felt like it was Michiru who was making it hard. Then again, Michiru was. But she had deserved it. Thanks to her Michiru's heart was broken. All because she had to run away from her troubles.

I'm playing my part
digging the heroine
She's the one I want...

Haruka must've fallen asleep at some point because when she opened her eyes again it was already getting dark outside. Next to her she could hear people talk. When she looked aside she realized that the television was on. She blinked a couple of tears before her eyes finally adjusted to the light. With that she gazed around only to find Michiru staring right back at her. ''You're awake.'' She stated, smiling a bit.

''I guess.'' Haruka raised an eyebrow. Why was Michiru smiling?

''I've thought about it.'' Michiru whispered, looking back at the television.

''And?''

''I hate you.'' Michiru stated before flipping the channel. ''I love you. I can't stand you. I can't forgive you. I need you. I want you. The whole package.'' She added causing Haruka to smile as well.

''Hate is such a strong word.'' The tomboy whispered as she slowly got up. Then she extended a hand, reaching out to the smaller girl. ''Come lay with me for a moment.'' She wasn't completely sure what Michiru had meant with her words but she didn't care. It was now or never.

Much to her surprise Michiru stood up and put the remote control down on the chair she had been sitting on before walking over to Haruka, taking her hand in her own. Both were now blushing as it became silent again. It was a comfortable silence though. With that Haruka pulled Michiru down in her arms. In the end they both ended up lying on the couch, snuggling together as if nothing ever happened. Both knew it had to end soon.

''I love you.'' Haruka whispered in the girl's ear before placing a small kiss on her cheek.

Michiru rested her head on one hand while staring right into Haruka's eyes. ''I love you too.'' She finally said. ''I'm willing to give you another chance Haruka. I don't think I'll ever be able to live without you. Not again. Not while knowing that you love me. Not after hearing all those things you said at the airport. But I haven't forgiven you.''

''That's ok,'' Haruka said, placing another kiss on her lover's cheek. ''I haven't forgiven you either.'' She was of course joking.

''We're even then.'' Michiru's reply came before she put her arms around Haruka's neck. One of the tomboy's hands was now resting on Michiru's hip as the other was stroking the girl's cheek.

''You still owe me one kiss.'' Haruka said. ''Then, we'll be even.''

''Oh?'' Michiru pretended to be surprised but then closed the gap between them and kissed her lover passionately. She had missed this so much. She knew they still had a long way to go but she knew Haruka had learnt from her mistakes as she had from her own. Haruka wasn't going anywhere anymore. She wouldn't let her. She wouldn't give Haruka a reason to leave again. From now on things would be different.

They parted again, looking at each other.

But it would be different in a good way. In the end they had found each other after all. And right now, that was all that mattered.

She's the one I want...