Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Surviving Under House Arrest ❯ Men Have More Possibilities ( Chapter 2 )

Hey guys, time for chapter two :)

 

 

~*~*~*~

 

“So…what are you making?”

“Ah! Dammit, monkey, can't you see I'm BUSY?” Gojyo glared after spilling something he had been stirring in a bowl onto his shirt. “Now leave me to concentrate; I have to beat that monk…” More furious stirring came.

Goku sighed. “Fine, I'll go ask Hakkai for help…”

Hakkai was taking up at least a third of the kitchen, as was his unfinished food. You would think there were two Hakkais the way he sped around so as to attend to all of it. Goku could hear him murmuring things like `where did those eggs go, dammit…' and `Gojyo and Sanzo's little spat better not interfere with MY food…!'

“Hey Hakkai!”

“AHH!” Hakkai looked up, his monocle gleaming almost psychotically. “Don't scare people when they're busy, Goku!”

“I was just seeing what you were up to…” He grabbed for the cook book nearby, only to have his hand slapped away and the book in Hakkai's arms, who looked at it as if the object was his only means of survival.

“I'm sorry, Goku, but I can't let you have that, I need it, and it needs me, only it possesses the secrets that I long for, and together we shall win this competition, yes, together forever my preciousss…” Hakkai had taken to stroking the book as he whispered soothingly, long since forgetting of the person standing only two feet away.

Goku stared cautiously at Hakkai as he backed away slowly.

“I think something's wrong with `Kai!” He called to Sanzo and Gojyo, who answered simultaneously, “That's his own damn fault!”

Goku sighed at how caught up everyone had apparently become. Suddenly he was grabbed by the collar and pulled into a corner. He nearly yelped, but was quickly silenced by a hand over his mouth. “Shut UP, monkey.”

Goku sighed again, this time in relief. It was only Sanzo. “What is it, Sanzo?”

Sanzo was frowning. “Look, heaven knows I can't cook.” He nodded to the weird heaping of something that Goku could only assume was supposed to be solid. The sight of it made him gag.

“Man, Sanzo, I don't think even I would eat that-“He noted the murderous glare the monk sent his way, “That is, unless I was very hungry!” Damn, that hadn't helped. “I mean to say, Sanzo, maybe if I was paid or I had a blindfold or-“

-WHACK-

The fan had done its work. Goku rubbed his head. “Ow, Sanzo…why'd you grab me anyway?”

Sanzo looked up, apparently having forgotten that he had been talking to Goku for an actual reason. “I am NOT having the kappa out cook me. No way in hell. But if I can't come up with anything edible, then the least I can do is to make sure that HE can't either.”

“So we're going to cheat?”

“Technically, since we all know this is Hakkai's thing, it's not cheating since I'm not aiming to win.”

“Wow Sanzo, you've smoked, killed, swore, but I didn't ever think I'd have to add `cheating' to the list of unholy things you'd do.”

“We're not cheating.”

“I'm pretty sure we are.”

-WHACK- “We're NOT cheating, dammit, we're just…playing a prank on Gojyo.”

“Ohhh. Right. So how are we going to cheat?”

Sanzo willed himself to not shoot anything.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Meanwhile, Gojyo had noticed the other two whispering sneakily in the corner. Hmph. He didn't know what they were talking about, but he'd be damned if it wasn't anything bad.

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Ok, OK, it's not cheating! But what're we gonna do?!”

Sanzo coolly ran a hand through his hair. “I haven't actually gotten that far yet-“

“OI, monk and monkey, whatever you two are planning, you can just forget it!” They heard Gojyo call over his shoulder

Sanzo scowled. “The moron is onto us.”

Goku shrugged. “I'd be onto us too, especially since we're cheating.”

“Don't make me regret talking to you. Scratch that; don't make yourself regret it.”

-Gulp- As much as Goku wanted to help his `sun', he also wanted to rid him of cheating. Something that would help and teach him a lesson…He knew just the thing.

“OK, here's what we'll do,” Goku started with an evil grin. “But you'll have to be open to it.”

Sanzo eyed him wearily. “What do you mean by open?”

“Just promise!”

“Fine, just freaking tell me!”

*whisper whisper whisper* “Come again?” *whisper whisper* “WHA-“*frantic whisper* “I highly doubt it's the only way-“ *whispering of back up statements* “Fine. This better work.” *encouraging whisper*

Sanzo stood up and brushed himself off. He started to walk away from Goku but was stopped by the latter. “What?”

“Your robes!”

Sanzo sighed irritably but gave into Goku's determined look. He took his robes off and handed them to a gleeful Goku, leaving Sanzo in his skin tight shirt and nicely fitting jeans. “Are you happy now?”
“Hai!”

Sanzo rolled his eyes and spun around, facing the unaware-of-their-plan Gojyo who had his back turned to them as he stirred his cooking on the stove.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Gojyo happily hummed to himself as he lazily dragged the wooden spoon through his soup. It had been a few minutes since anything had happened, anything that involved explosions or Goku frightening him or Sanzo's nagging anyway, so he had begun to let his guard down.

At least, until he heard the monk swearing up a storm five yards away. He turned around, wondering what Goku had done, but saw that the monkey was in fact sitting in a corner with a bar of chocolate, oblivious to whatever state if distress Sanzo happened to be in.

Sanzo was facing away from him, so Gojyo couldn't tell what was wrong.

“Would you go and see what's wrong with him, Gojyo?” Hakkai asked, suddenly appearing on Gojyo's right.

“Uh, sure, but what about your food?”

“My food is preparing right now, so I have a few minutes before I must attend to it again.” Hakkai answered with a smile.

The whole thing bothered Gojyo. “How do I know you won't do anything to mine?”

Hakkai laughed, holding up his prized cook book for them both to see. “Did you hear that, Kooky? Gojyo is afraid that I'll mess with his cooking. He thinks I'm seriously worried about being beaten by a man who doesn't even possess one of your own brethren…No, I didn't mean that you're just a possession, you're much more than that, please accept my apology…”

“Right; I'll be right back then…” Gojyo slipped away, headed towards Sanzo.

“Oi, Sanzo, you alright?”

The said priest turned around. “I'm fine, kappa, and yourself?” Sanzo glanced over Gojyo's shoulder to make sure Goku was doing his part, but saw that Hakkai was standing there instead. Dammit.

Gojyo noticed that Sanzo had his left hand behind his back. Then he saw the knife in the right hand and the piece of raw meat lying on the nearby counter. “I'm fine, but what's behind your back?”

“It's called a wall.”

“I meant your hand, you ass hole!”

“The wall is still behind my hand.”

“What's IN your hand?”

“I should think bones and blood and-“

“Just show your fucking hand, you goddamn priest!”

“Why should it concern you?”

“It doesn't.”

“Then why ask?”

“Because I don't trust you!”

Sanzo feigned being hurt. “Have I not proven in the past to be trust worthy, Gojyo?”

Gojyo raised an eye brow at the familiar use of his name. “Not really, Sanzo.”

Sanzo sighed. “If you must know,” He began, revealing his arm and, consequently, a cut on his finger, “I simply had an accident with the knife.”

Gojyo rolled his eyes. “That's what got you so upset, pretty boy?”

“'Ch.”

“Oh come on, Blondie, lemme bandage it for you…” He took hold of Sanzo's wrist, who pulled it back in disapproval.

“I told you I'm fine.”

“Well I can see that you're obviously not, so let me help.”

“Dammit, Gojyo, it's just a cut.”

“It's bleeding like hell.”

At this Sanzo leaned forward and slipped his finger inside his lips, locking eyes with Gojyo. The red head immediately let go of Sanzo's wrist, eyes going wide. “What the hell?!”

Sanzo took this moment to once again look over to see how Goku was doing.

 

~*~*~*~

 

When Gojyo had gone to Sanzo, Goku had risen from his spot on the floor. Hopefully Hakkai wouldn't be too hard to distract as well. He calmly strolled to the healer. Hakkai saw him coming and waited with an expecting smile.

“What can we do for you, Goku?”

“Uh…'we'?”

“Of course, you can't forget Kooky.”

“Of course not. Say, `Kai, why don't I look after Gojyo's food so you can finish yours and spend some time with Kooky?”

“I dunno, Goku…Why don't you let us discuss this privately?”

Goku sweat dropped. “Sure, just let me know when you're ready.”

“Will do!”

 

~*~*~*~

 

Sanzo released his finger. “You said that it was bleeding like hell, right?” He asked, examining his wound. “It looks ok to me.” He threw a meaningful look to Gojyo, holding up his hand. “Unless you'd lie to do a more thorough job?”

“Um…not really,” Gojyo answered rather weakly, earning a smirk from Sanzo.

“Very well then, if you'll just leave me to my-“

“No way am I leaving you to have another accident, monk. Give me the knife.”

“Oh, I'll give it to you…”

“I'm serious, Sanzo.”

And the glaring contest began.

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Goku, we've come to a conclusion!” Hakkai called merrily.

Goku rejoined him. “…And?”

“And…Kooky doesn't trust you.”

“Oh…Why?”

“Because you're a child of course!”

“…You did NOT just call me a child!”

“You're right; Kooky did. Now run along, Goku.”

Goku smacked his forehead. This would take longer than he thought.

 

~*~*~*~

 

When Sanzo saw that Goku wasn't back in his original seat yet, he gave into to Gojyo for the mere fact that he needed to distract him even longer. Great. Thanks a lot, Goku.

He wordlessly gave Gojyo the knife, hating to lose even a childish game of seeing who could glare longer. But it would be worth it in the long run, when he would get to see the kappa's face as Emily choked on whatever food he had made. The thought of Emily choking made him even happier.

Gojyo sighed in relief, but couldn't quite hide his self-praising smirk as he took the weapon away. “How were you cutting this?”

Sanzo glanced at the meat nonchalantly. “Small pieces. Very small.” The smaller the pieces, the more to cut, and then the longer it would take Gojyo. Sanzo snickered; he was just too brilliant for his own good sometimes.

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Hakkai, you do realize that Kooky is a BOOK, right?”

Hakkai gasped rather dramatically. “Goku, Kooky is NOT just a book; he's my friend! He hasn't led me astray and he never will!”

“But you've cooked just GREAT without him before!”

“Never when I was competing for anything!”

“You could throw him away right now and you'd be perfectly fine, `Kai.”

Hakkai held Kooky against his chest, almost cradling the thing. “Do you know what Kooky told me just now, Goku?”

“What's that?”

“That you're just jealous of what we have.”

“NANI?”

“And I believe him. Now shoo!”

“That's IT, give me that damn book!” Goku grabbed Kooky, but Hakkai held onto the other half of it firmly.

“Goku, let go of Kooky!”

“No! Not until you stop being possessed by it!”

 

~*~*~*~

 

Sanzo could faintly hear Goku and Hakkai shouting, but wasn't really paying attention. He was instead focused on the fact that Gojyo was nearly done slicing the meat but Goku STILL wasn't finished. The monkey would pay if he kept this up much longer.

He would have to go to more extreme measures.

“What do you think they're yelling about?” Gojyo asked casually, intent on performing his task as cleanly as possible.

Sanzo shrugged. “Hell if I know.” Then he leaned his back against the counter so that he was definitely in Gojyo's live of vision. “You know, Gojyo, we could really help each other out.”

But the red head just grinned to himself. “No way, Blondie. This is all I'm helping you with-then you're on your own.”

Sanzo snorted. “Who said I was talking about cooking?”

Gojyo's hands stopped what they were doing as he looked up at Sanzo, wondering if he had heard that last sentence correctly. “Uh…huh?”

Sanzo smirked and let an eyebrow glide up playfully. “You're a man with needs, Gojyo. You figure it out.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Give it back!”

“Let it go!”

“Give it back!”

“Let it go!”

“Give, it, back!”

“Let, it, GO!” Goku finally managed to snag the book from Hakkai's clutches. “Ha-ha! Now I'm going to show you that Kooky-I mean the book- is evil and that you don't need it!”

“What, what do you mean?!”

“This is what I mean!”

The rip that followed tore Hakkai apart while the sound exhilarated Goku. He tore page after page after page, throwing them into the air gaily. At last when the massacre was complete, Goku threw away the spine, ignoring Hakkai's wails of protest as the brunette scrambled to pick up the remains of Kooky. Right now he had to get back to screwing up Gojyo's dish!

 

~*~*~*~

 

Meanwhile, Sanzo had managed to slide in between Gojyo and the counter, and Gojyo seemed too stunned to move back.

“Well, when I do have, eh, needs, I tend to find a, uh, woman to help me…”

Sanzo chuckled softly, seduction pouring out of his entire body. “Oh, Gojyo,” He practically crooned, leaning up to get closer to Gojyo (This was really to make it easier to see Goku over the kappa's shoulder), “Women are so boring; two men have more…possibilities…” Placing his hands on Gojyo's hips, Sanzo pulled their bodies together to accent what he had just whispered in his ear. Oh yes, Goku would most definitely pay for this later.

Gojyo felt like he was in some weird dream or that he had finally gone completely out of his mind and was having hallucinations. “You know Sanzo; I didn't really think of you as swinging that way…Actually, I've never thought of you as swinging any way…”

Only mildly listening to Gojyo, Sanzo was overjoyed to see that Goku was finally getting his job done. Once Goku had given him a thumbs up sign, he roughly shoved Gojyo away. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Me?! You were the one trying to seduce me!”

Sanzo just gave him one of those `you're being extremely idiotic/annoying but I don't want to say anything so I'll just give you a look to let you know how stupid you are' looks. Then he pulled out his gun and aimed it right at Gojyo's handsome face. “I was doing WHAT, kappa?”

“You were-Argh, forget it-I don't care! Everyone's out to mess with Gojyo today…” He continued mumbling as he stomped back to the stove, ignoring Goku, who was trying to comfort a now-sobbing Hakkai.

“You. you murdered him!”

“It had to be done, `Kai.”

“He wa, was, the WORLD to meee…”

“He was messing with your head!”

“And now he's NOTHING…!”

“There there…”

Gojyo took his food off the stove, still muttering. Sanzo had his back turned to everyone, holding a hand to his mouth to keep from laughing aloud to the look that had been on Gojyo's face.

A few minutes later Hakkai finally became quieter, reduced to sniffling and wiping his eyes away from stray tears that hadn't fallen with the initial burst. Goku patted his shoulder, relieved. “Are you ok now?”

When Hakkai looked up, there was no longer sadness in his eyes. Sadness had been replaced by anger. “You killed Kooky.”

“You can't kill a book.”

Hakkai picked up an egg. “He's NOT a book!” And after taking aim, he threw the egg, but Goku was quick enough to dodge it. It hurled through the air at full speed, and they all watched in horror as it hit the back of a pretty blond head like it was a target.

Time seemed to freeze as Sanzo immediately tensed up and his party stood frozen in their spots. Finally, Sanzo slowly turned around, and they could all feel every murderous thought seeping through every pore of Sanzo's being.

The priest calmly raised a hand to his head and pulled the shell and half the yolk out of his hair, then held it up as if on display. “Which one of you fuckers was it?” He demanded just as calmly, and his calm behavior was what scared the shit out of Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai.

When no one answered, Sanzo chuckled. “Never mind; I don't really give a shit. But I hope you all realize, then, that this means war?”

 

~*~*~*~

 

And this means the end of the chapter! Thanks to those who read this and also to those who review again, it means a lot!