Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Slayers Melee ❯ All good things must... ( Chapter 14 )

Hello loyal fans! Well...October has been an interesting month for the Otaku. Mainly because I was accepted into the college of my choice and now I'm not to sure what to due with myself. Ok, I do know what to do with myself. I just can't hide my excitement. I have been caught on more than one occasion doing a random 'happy dance,' as I call the seizure looking movements I make with my body in a pathetic attempt to dance.

The school nurse thinks I'm Schizophrenic now! ^^ Finally the world is beginning to see the true me...BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Anyways...on with the next chapter!

*****

All good thing must...

*****

It was the dead of midday when the cast landed on Wolf Pack Island. And to the cast, it was much smaller than they thought it would be. That is not saying Wolf Pack Castle is small by any means, it was quite huge. But you know how it goes. You always think the Magic Kingdom in Disney World is much large and then you get there and are greatly disappointed and because of that you are emotionally crushed and end up like the author...never mind...

The cast hid behind the rocks on the beach and watched the castle from afar. No guards roamed the outside, but Melyn and Rhia knew better. They had known how Be-a-weenie thinks for four years. The inside was loaded with guards he called 'Para's'. Most of them would be stationed at the front and back doors. All they really needed was a secret entrance or, better yet, a door that wasn't the front or back door.

At school many a teenager would slip out of school through those said doors.

After much debating, the cast finally agreed to enter the building at dinnertime. Why? Because that would catch the baddies most off guard.

"Ok." Rhia whispered and drew a diagram in the sand. "This is the castle here. This is the island here. Val, Guav and Phibby. You patrol the outside. Make sure no one gets out. Unless it is us. If it's us. We don't get killed. Everyone else does."

"Ok." The two Mazoku and one half Mazoku said in unison.

"Everyone else comes with us. Got it?"

"Yes." Everyone groaned and watched as Melyn and Rhia put on their Rambo gear.

The remaining Slayers entered the dark spooky castle. (I, Melyn the Otaku, have no clue on what Beastmaster-sama's domain looks like, so I will be using my creative talent to make it up. Don't like it? Flame me!)

The front hallway was, in itself, tiresome. It went on and on and on with twists and turns and doors, which all seemed to be locked. Of course that wasn't the bad part. What made the experience just that much more nerve-racking was the sound.

Melyn decided to sing, yet again. And this time, Rhia joined in on the singing of 'Get along, try again,' 'Give a reason' and 'Breeze'.

Other than that, it was a fairly pleasant journey.

After two hours of wandering, they came to a fork in the hall.

"I think we should stick to the...right." Rhia pointed. She looked back at the rest of the group and noticed it was...much smaller than they started with. "Melyn, half the group is missing."

Melyn shrugged. "It's been like that for over an hour."

Rhia sighed and did a role call. It appeared Fillia, Amelia, Sylphiel, Martina, Zangulus and Gourry were missing from the group.

Kopii snorted. "See Eris. It was your butt-ugly face that scared them off."

Eris stuck out her tongue. "Nuh-uh! It was your stupid stupidness that did it!"

Everyone sweat-dropped. "Uh...guys...did you eat anything here..."

"She did! She did!" Kopii pointed at her. "She ate something! But I didn't! I'm a good boy!"

Melyn squealed. "They sound like the little kids at my work!" Melyn clapped happily. She loved her work. She babysat toddlers, and it appeared that was what Kopii and Eris were right now.

"Kopii! Your mean!" Eris kicked his shins. "You ate that cake at the crazy lady's place too!"

"Liar Liar pants on fire!"

"Children!" Melyn snapped. "We do not say things like that! Those words hurt people's feelings. Now, Kopii, apologize to Eris. Eris, you apologize to Kopii."

Both bad guys from the first season pouted and looked at each other. "Sorry." They said in unison.

"Better. Now hug."

The two lightly hugged.

"Ow! He pulled my hair!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"DID TOO!" Eris screamed and chucked all of her weight into Kopii, who in turn, fell backwards into the wall. As they hit the wall, it triggered a trap door and they both fell through.

"Well." Everyone stood there blinking stupidly. "At least we don't get to hear them arguing anymore..."

*****

"Oh crap!" Fillia kicked at the wolf trying to chew on her leg. "Help me!"

Amelia let down a hand. "Up here! We're on the bookshelf!"

Fillia leapt up and scrambled up the tall bookcase. Once she was in reach, Gourry and Amelia pulled her up.

"Dragon Slave!" Sylphiel yelled and made the demonic wolf into little pieces of ash.

"I swear! I will kill Melyn and Lina for this! This is all their fault!" Martina screamed.

Zangulus put an arm around his wife. "Oh course you will. And I will help you. I would never let you do something like that alone!"

"Oh Muffin..."Martina's eyes became watery as the background turned all sparkly and cherry blossom petals floated all around them.

"Sweetheart!"

"Precious!"

"Boo Boo Kitty!"

"Luscious lips!"

The two continued on in this gross display of emotion as the rest of the Slayer Squad looked on with horrified faces.

*****

"Gin!" Valguav lay down his hand with a defiant smile. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and eyed the two other mazoku's. "Pay up, boys."

"Damn you." Phibrezzo growled and threw some gold coins at the aqua haired teen.

"I didn't raise you to rip me off." Guav growled.

"Well, you shouldn't have left me in the care of those people then." Val smiled and counted his earnings. "Aren't we keeping watch for Melyn?"

"That's what we're suppose to be doing." Phibrezzo eyed the youngest one of the group.

"Oh, Ok." Val began to shuffle the cards for another game of gin-rummy.

*****

"Ok, we're now officially lost." Rhia groaned and slumped down against the wall. "Xellos, where are we?"

"Ah...sore wa himitsu desu..."

Rhia glared. "I'll take that as an 'I'm lost too' comment."

"I know the way..." said a very masculine voice no one seemed to recognize.

"Great. That's just great." Rhia ignored the person talking. "We're lost in a enormous palace run by evil school administration."

"I said I know the way to the throne room."

"Now everybody stop their complaining and let me think this through..."

Melyn's eyes widened and she began to pull franticly at Rhia's sleeve. "Rhia....Rhia..."

"What is it now?"

Melyn pointed up and Rhia followed her finger.

Standing not two feet away from them was a tall, dark and incredibly bishonen man. He wore a long red robe and had lusciously long black hair. Melyn and Rhia began to drool instantly (not to mention the rest of the female cast).

His arms were crossed over his chest and disapproval was written all over his face. "If you were listening, Miss Rhikat, I said I know the way to the throne room."

Rhia's jaw dropped and she tried to form words. After a few minutes of trying, she finally succeeded. "And you would be..?"

He smirked and brushed the long locks out of his ruby eyes. "Isn't it obvious?"

Melyn jumped up "Shabraningdo! It's Shabraningdo! My God he's hot. Much better looking now than in the first season when he looked like a lobster."

"Uh...Melyn. That's not a nice thing to say to a guy much more powerful than you..." Lina whispered into the redhead's ear. "Even if it is true--"

A painstaking cry of despair cut Lina off. Everyone turned their attention to Rezo. "Oh Zelgadis! My grandson/great grandson! What have I done to you!" It seemed Shabraningdo also affected Rezo's personality as well as his mental disposition.

Rezo locked his arms around the chimera and cried. "Look what I have done to you! Kill me now! Oh what have I done!"

Zelgadis looked panicked, as did everyone else, but he looked just a tad bit more panicked than everyone else. "Rezo..?"

"What a tortured life you must have lead with that body! Why don't you just kill me now!" Rezo began to cry harder.

Melyn handed him a tissue.

Zelgadis let the last of his words sink in. "You...want me to...kill you?"

Rezo nodded. "It is the least I can do! Oh woe-is-me!"

Zel shrugged. "If it's what you want..." He began to draw his sword.

"No!" Rhia pushed Rezo off. "If you kill him, we have one less person to kill Be-a-weenie with!" She hissed. "Save the slaying until after the battle."

Zel somewhat pouted. "I guess I could hold off until later..."

Melyn pulled some duck tape out of her bag-o-wonder and taped Rezo's mouth shut and his arms behind his back. "No more glomping your grandson/great grandson." She wiggled a disapproving finger at the not-so-blind red priest. "Glomping is my job."

*******

"This is all your fault!" Eris yelled. Both she and Kopii were tied together and suspended over a pit of molten lava. Around them danced some not-so-happy creatures that appeared to be using them as a sacrifice of some sorts.

"This is not my fault! It's your fault!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

******

"That is the throne room there." Shabraningdo pointed to a big...really big wooden door with golden knockers. "The one you seek should be hiding in there. I wish you luck."

"Wish us luck?!" Rhia grabbed the end of his robe and held on tight. "You ain't going anywhere!"

"W...what? I did help you out, Miss Rhikat!"

Rhia shrugged. "So what? You found the room. What we need help with is defeating this moron!"

"Uh...Rhia...Yu won't wanna here this..." Melyn pushed the door. "It's not opening..."

******

A howl of complete misery flooded the hallways where the separated Slayers. They continued to sit atop the book case as more and more wolfy-demons attacked them.

"I'm glad I'm not there..." Gourry gulped as he whacked another one away from Amelia.

"Mr. Gourry! We should help! Their probably in big trouble!"

******

Klonk!

Klonk!

Melyn screamed and ran as fast as she could headlong into the big wooden door. After she hit it (and failed to open the door) she would stagger back a few feet, shake off the nauseating dizziness and repeat the process all over again.

"Uh...Miss Melyn..." Shabraningdo sweat-dropped as he watch Melyn inflict pain upon herself over and over and over. "There is an easier way..."

"What? Do you have a key or something?" Rhia watched Melyn stagger away from the door and pass out.

"Uh...no." Shabraningdo walked over to the door and pulled instead of pushed. Amazingly, the door opened.

"I knew that." Rhia grumbled as she walked into the throne room. Everyone else followed.

The throne room was as massive and dark as everyone expected it to be. The walls were painted neutral colors and it appeared Be-a-weenie did some remodeling. In the corner, chained to the wall was Beastmaster. (And she did not look happy)

"Beastmaster-sama!" Xellos cried and ran over to her.

"X...Xellos?" She looked at her minion in shock. Her face twisted in anger and she began to choke Xellos with her loose chains. "Idiot! You left me here all alone! And for what? MORTALS!"

Melyn gulped and backed away. "Guess Xellos is gonna be grounded..."

Rhia winced. "I'd hate to have her as a mother figure."

An obnoxious evil cackle filled the room. "Well well... Looks like you finally found me. But enjoy this victory, for it will be your last!"

Rhia rolled her eyes. "Why do villains always say that? Can't they think of original lines?"

Shabraningdo's jaw dropped. "I had some good lines!"

"Yeah, sure. Most of them were 'roar roar." Rhia rolled her eyes once again and let out an exasperated breath. "Well, lets start fighting."

"I really am not in the mood for fighting." Melyn whined. "Can we get it all done with in one blow?"

Rhia shook her head and pulled out a piece of paper. 'No can do. Our contract with the 'Fans of Eternal Mental Anguish Ladies Edition' states we must have a long drawn out fight scene."

"Damn that contract with FEMALE!" Melyn shook her fist at the sky. "Why did we ever join you!"

Rhia bopped Melyn over the head. "Duh, we passed the test stating we are not the typical self-insert characters and we now have every right to go into worlds, such as this, and cause mass confusion and chaos! Besides, they had a dental plan."

"Oh yeah..." Melyn sighed. "How long does this battle have to be?"

Rhia read over the contract. "Depends on the show...Some might take ten to twenty chapters of mindless karate moves...Some might take a few seconds."

"What about Slayers!" Melyn put her hands on her hips and pouted.

Rhia scanned the contract. "Technically, it would be a few short meetings with the big bad then we learn who the real threat is...Someone gets kidnapped/killed/city destroyed..." Rhia dropped the paper. "Then there has to be a few Dragon Slaves here, a Ra Tilt there, the sword of light makes an appearance, things like that..."

"Uh...guys..."Lina pointed at Be-a-weenie. "He's charging."

Rhia and Melyn ignored her. "Technically we have done most of that in out travel. No one has died, but we did do the rest of it, right?"

"No one was kidnapped either. Or a town being destroyed."

Melyn shrugged. "Can we just kill him? We already know a spell that's a kill-all."

Rhia nodded. "True, but do we really want to use it?"

Melyn smirked evilly "Of course we do!"

"Don't you need the Clair Bible back?" Lina blasted a fireball in Be-a-weenie's direction. "Find that first, then kill him!"

"She has a point."

Melyn and Rhia split up to search for the book as Lina held the evil off with Zelgadis. Rezo was still spurting out apologies to Zelgadis that just wanted the chimera to stab himself with a sword, even though it was physically impossible for him to hurt himself on the blade.

"Found it!" Rhia held the book over her head. "Mine!"

Be-a-weenie turned his little bald, horny head and glared at Rhia. "Thief! Saturday school for that!" The associate principal didn't look much different from when they first left. He even wore the same cheap gray suit.

Melyn walked over to the neko. "Rhia, please? Can I please do it? Pretty please? People want this fic to be over with! The author's hand is cramping up! We can't keep it going much longer!"

Rhia nodded. "So...who gets to cast the spell?"

"Me!"

Rhia glared. "Says who?"

Melyn glared back. "I wanna do it!"

"So do I!"

"You guys could...oh...I don't know...DO IT TOGETHER!!!!" Zelgadis sounded really annoyed.

"What's going on?" The missing Slayers showed up...well, not Kopii and Eris. No one's to sure where they are.

Lina shrugged. "They're arguing on who gets to kill that ugly guy."

"Rock paper scissors! Rock paper scissors!" Melyn and Rhia screamed out in unison. Neither wanted to not annihilate the associate principal.

"Screw this!" Rhia pushed Melyn away. " Darkness beyond blackest pitch..."

"No fair!" Melyn jumped up. "Darkness beyond blackest pitch..."

Everyone's eyes went buggy. It was bad enough when Lina did it by herself. Now two people standing at a close range were reciting the most powerful spell in all magic's.

"Run!" Everyone screamed and ducked for cover.

"...deeper than the deepest night! Lord of Darkness, shining like gold upon the Sea of Chaos, I call upon thee, swear myself to thee! Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess!"

Be-a-weenie stared at the glowing vortex the spell was creating with stupidity in his eyes. "Two more Saturday schools! For the both of you!"

"GIGA SLAVE!"

The two girls finished in unison and chaos entered the room...no literally! From the swirly black mass the Lord of Nightmares appeared, and she looked somewhat ticked.

"Oh boy..." Gourry gulped. "This is a bad thing, isn't it?"

L-Sama whacked Melyn and Rhia over the head with her shovel. "I was on vacation."

It did appear she was on vacation in some tropical area, due to the fact she wore a straw hat, Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. In her other hand was a fruity drink in a coconut shell.

"Auntie L!" Melyn hugged the being of creation. "Auntie L! Auntie L! I missed you so much! Are you coming to visit during Christmas?"

L-Sama shoved her niece off and looked at the slightly more sane relative of hers. "How did you get here? You live in another dimension."

"The Clair Bible." Both girls said in unison and held up the blue book.

"I put that in the Sea of Chaos..."

"AKA, Melyn's closet." Rhia pointed at her cousin. "Melyn is the only being with knowledge of how to survive that place."

L-Sama groaned. Of course Melyn was not the neatest of people, but who would have thought her closet would have become such a mess it would become a gateway to the Sea of Chaos.

"You two are going home now." L-Sama glared.

"Aww....Auntie L!" Melyn whined.

"Say your goodbyes and go home."

Melyn sniffled and walked over to the Slayers. "I gotta go home now...."

"What?" Gourry looked like he was going to cry. "But your so cool! Can't you stay?"

"NO!" Everyone else answered.

Rhia walked over to Zelgadis. "Melyn and I decided to give you the Clair Bible without Auntie L's permission.!" She smiled and put the book in his hand.

Zelgadis looked as if she just told him he had another head.

"Bye Bye Shabby." Melyn hugged the Mazoku supreme lord. "What are you going to do next?"

Shabraningdo shrugged. "I don't know...go home I guess."

Zel turned to his grandfather/great grandfather and smiled. "So...what was this about letting me kill you?"

Rezo wailed and attached himself around Zel's middle. "Kill me! Kill me now!"

Zel pushed the priest off and drew his sword. "So...how shall I kill you?"

Zel was popped over the head by Rezo's staff. "I changed my mind."

Rhia's jaw dropped. "Weird..." She turned to her sniffling cousin. "What?"

"Shabraningdo went back into Rezo's head."

"Ah..." That explained his mood swing.

The two girls walked over to their aunt and awaited going home. After a few seconds a bright light began to engulf them.

"Hey!" Rhia's eyes buggered. "We forgot Be-a-weenie!"

Melyn shrugged. "Leave him to Zelas. She'll have fun with him." Melyn smiled brightly. "Besides, it's one less school official we need to worry about."

"What the hell?!?!" They heard Zelgadis yell in a rage. "What is this? A joke! What kind of writing is this?!?!"

"Uh...English?" Melyn was now glad they were leaving. They all could speak Japanese (as most fans already know). It appeared the cast only knew bits and pieces of English that they used every once in a while with catch phrases. Guess they don't know how the lettering of the alphabet.

The last thing they heard was the foul shriek of an angry chimera.

*****

Melyn sighed as she sat in class. Life was once again boring. She tapped her pencil on the desk and watched the minutes creep by.

"Hey Melyn!" Rhia whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Bored." Melyn groaned.

Rhia smirked. "That's what you always say."

"Hey Rhia...Could we do that really stupid thing."

"What really stupid thing?"

"You know...a sequel?"

"Maybe..."

******

Meanwhile....

*****

"This is so your fault." Eris hissed

"I believe it is your fault, you stupid bit--"

"Both of you quiet!" A lady dressed in gray hissed. On her badge was the name 'Ms. Dean, associate principal, Wayzata High school'

*******

*Melyn falls over dead.* Done! It's done! It's finally over! The cast is now safe...except for Xellos, Zelgadis and Val who now live in my closet.

The last little blip with Eris and Kopii has another of my vice principals, Ms. Dean. She's pretty nice if you don't piss her off.

Disclaimer: For the last bloody time, IT AIN'T MINE!!!