Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Slayers Parody ❯ An old friend ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers…nor do I own the plot…for the most part.

A/N: WARNING this is a parody, AU with not mentioning of Gourry or Amelia. If you don't like that, then don't read it. If you do and decide to flame it, you're an idiot. I warned you…it's your own fault if you don't read summaries or Author Notices. Thank you for your time to read this…and remember, you were WARNED!

WARNING 2: This is basically beginning like the first of the season…same deal with Shabrangido (hope I spelled that right…)…just in a different way!

Chapter 1: Meeting with an old friend…

The bandit camp was noisy tonight. Good, that was what Lina had been waiting for. She had overheard that their camp had recently come across a nice big hoard of goods and Lina meant to take it from them.

"Source of all power, light which burns beyond crimson, Let thy power gather in my hand!" she shouted, "Fireball!" With those fatal words the assault began.

"Run!" someone shouted, "We're under attack!" Lina let out a smirk as the smoke cleared somewhat and she saw the boss, of course, he had to be…only the boss was fat and lazy.

"LINA INVERSE!" he cried as he recognized her face and began to run in the opposite direction.

"You aren't getting away that easily…" she said with a smile, "Fireball!" The boss erupted into flames and amidst the chaos she took out a bag and made her way over to the treasure stash.

"Hey, that's our treasure!" the boss cried out, letting out a burnt puff of air.

"Lucky me!" Lina said, ignoring them and taking out gold, gems and priceless artifacts, "This is what I call a good day!" Bag after bag she stored and then she smiled again.

"…" the boss couldn't exactly complain anymore, he just lay in a heap upon the ground.

"Ray Wing!" she shouted and lifted off of the ground, with another big smile and patting on the bag of treasure she held onto, she was gone. One of the injured parties slowly made his way past burning buildings and collapsing towers. He was badly burned himself.

"I'll get you for this Inverse…" he coughed up as he made his slow way, "Damn you!"

"Well, it's more than a beautiful day…" Crystal Ryu said, stretching her arms, "I should be at a town sooner or later…warm food, soft bed… I haven't had one of those in almost a week!" She made her way down the path, yawning as she did so. It was just past lunch time, and she was attempting to stay awake after eating such a large meal of fish. Food seemed to make her slow for about an hour after eating, when she overate.

"At least my habits aren't like that of Lina-kun," she sighed and stretched again. She knew Lina Inverse by all the nicknames she had earned, Bandit Killer, Dragon Spooker…and by other ones she had called Lina in her childhood. Of course, she was subject to nicknames herself. Crystal was known as Red Eyes Ryu, because there were times when her eyes glowed blood crimson, and the one she hated most of all, Dragon's Lost Child, or what people used when they wanted to be crude, Dragon's Bastard.

"I am not!" she always said, "I'm a full dragon!" She wasn't one of those Golden Dragons either that she had heard so much about; rather, she was one of the dragon clan, a very powerful and formidable clan. Actually, come to think about it, she was a member of the Tri-Clan, of the dragon, phoenix and fairy, not to mention other clans that might be in her blood, which was why she was powerful and was shunned by many of the individual clans. The Tri-Clan was the most powerful, kind of like an overlord of the other clans, respected, but feared. Crystal Ryu was the last of her kind, but then again, her race of the Tri-Clan was cursed to only have one direct line…one curse she knew she could break in her lifetime…which was eternal.

"If only Lina-kun was here, I wouldn't be so bored!" she let out another sigh and started walking again. She always seemed to be lost in thought. Crystal fondly remembered that when the two of them parted a few years back, she remembered what Lina had said.

"Remember Crystal, we're not small, we're petit, it's a very good thing to be. And our eyes are enormously cute, not overly large," she had said, and with a very peevish note added, "I'm sure our breasts still have time to grow…" I laughed at that and then sighed…it was probably true. Out of all the girls in their village, they had remained short, basically flat chested and they had the biggest eyes of anyone, which was why we were friends. One could consider that birds of a feather flock together, but it was more like we both liked magic more than half our village and we studied together and both wanted to seek adventure. Of course, what Lina said must have changed, because from what Crystal heard was that she hadn't grown much and had become very sensitive to the size of her endowments.

"Aye, she's something," I muttered, "I've accepted my sizes as permanent, and what has she done? Kicked anyone who dared call her otherwise!" She heard some murmured voices coming from some bushes nearby and decided she finally found her adventure.

"Hello bandits…" she murmured and whispered one of her minor incantations, "I call the master of the wind…goddess of the wind…"

"Who's there?" a voice asked and Crystal smiled and continued to cast.

"Northern winds of ice…enshroud my enemies!" Crystal shouted, "Northern Blast!" Two guys that were hidden behind the bush were thrown backwards into a clearing, knocked out cold and shivering in their unconscious state. Crystal pulled an Inverse and picked their pockets.

"I say again, who's there?" the voice repeated. Wait a minute, that wasn't a male's voice, it was a female's voice! Crystal turned around and looked towards the path to see a familiar black cape. Was that…could that be by chance…LINA-KUN?

"Hello out there! I'm sorry I disturbed you by any chance. I was taking care of some bandits who were enshrouded in the bushes!" Crystal replied, and came out back onto the path.

"Yeah, I heard, I don't hear many using cheap elemental tricks very often…" she said and turned around to face Crystal fully, "Oh my god…is that…Crystal RYU?

"Are you by chance Dragon Spooker Inverse?" Crystal asked back with a smile. The girl glared at Crystal and then broke into a smile.

"It's been what, three years?" Lina asked, "And don't refer to me as such ever again!"

"Why not Lina-kun?" Crystal asked, "I mean…not like I don't have my own nicknames…"

"Don't call me Dragon Spooker, I won't call you Dragon Basta…" she began but not before Crystal whapped her on the head, "OW!"

"Fine then, it's a deal!" Crystal said with a smile and then gave Lina a hug, "It's been too long!"

"Yeah, and you're almost as violent as I am!" she replied and then rubbed her head carefully, "You didn't need to be so hard…I didn't hit you!"

"You would have!" Crystal said and turned away, "So it was a preemptive strike!"

"Fireba…" Lina began and Crystal backed away.

"Fine, I'll knock it off," she interrupted before Lina could finish her spell, "I know one thing, your fireballs are the most powerful I've seen!"

"Don't forget it either!" Lina said, pleased by the compliment, "So, are you heading up to the next village?"

"I was hoping to get a meal and such!" Crystal replied.

"Do you want to walk together? We haven't seen each other in forever and all that," Lina said, taking a few steps.

"That sounds like fun…" she replied, "Race you!"

"No way, we walk and talk…" Lina said, "How else do you catch up on lost time?"

"Alright," Crystal replied, "But only because it's you!"

"I knew you'd say that," Lina replied for a laugh. The two walked together for a little bit.

"Um…Lina, why is your cape sort of jingling?" Crystal asked and Lina smiled over at her.

"I had a good day," she said, "Lots of bandits!"

"Oh really, was there anything valuable?" Crystal asked, "I mean, besides gems and rubies?"

"Just a Statue and a Demonic knife," she said, "And a few old coins."

"Any jewels?" Crystal asked with interest.

"Just some imperfect ones," she replied, "So, where are you headed…besides towards lunch?"

"I don't know," Crystal replied with a giggle, "I was looking for adventure but I found you instead!" They walked along until a town came into sight, and Lina let out a sigh, they had been catching up on a lot of things over the walk, especially some of the adventures they had had.

"Well, I'm on my way to Atlas City," Lina said as they made their way to an inn.

"Really," Crystal said, "Sounds like fun!" They sat down and took the menus handed to them.

"Do you want to travel with me?" Lina asked after a pause, "I mean, I know it's been a while but…"

"No, that sounds great!" Crystal replied, "I can't remember the last time we traveled together at all!"

"No, I can't either…well, not very well," Lina replied, "Do you still have issues though?"

"Some…" Crystal said, becoming very interested in the menu, "Nothing different than last time we were together…"

"Nothing has changed, has it?" Lina asked, "So I'll be looking out for you?"

"You wish Lina-kun!" Crystal replied, "I can look after myself just fine!"

"I'm willing to bet you still have that horrible sense of direction…" Lina said, "And besides, we used to watch each other's backs before. What's so different now?"

"I don't know…we're older…" Crystal said.

"Well that may be," Lina replied, "But we still are best friends, right?"

"Right Lina-kun!" she replied with a grin, "Now we can eat something!"

"Must you always use those stupid honor-fics?" Lina murmured with a sigh, "Must you?" Crystal grinned with a gleam in her eye. Traveling with Lina would be fun, just like old times…

TBC

A/N: I think I'll leave it at that. If you read the title and summary and didn't like those and still read this chapter, you have no right to flame, you shouldn't flame…I will use flames to roast my marshmallows…

If it seems dialogue driven, some parts of it will be…Life is made up of dialogue.

Let me know what you think!

And don't say I didn't warn you!