Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Slashing Up The Carrot ❯ The Pairings ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: tenohikari 
So far only 4 pairings - review if you want more!
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Hentai | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.24.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 444 | Status: Completed
So far only 4 pairings - review if you want more!
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Hentai | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.24.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 444 | Status: Completed
SLASHING UP THE CARROT
HIKARI: Gather 'round all ye yaoi fans!
CARROT: Why are speaking like that?
HIKARI: Thou dost not know ::cough:: Anyway, welcome to our show: 'Slashing up the Carrot!'
CARROT: :: Whimpers and covers up his family jewels ::
HIKARI: Don't worry, there won't be that kind of slashing in this. Zaha, put your sword away.
ZAHA: I was only going to use it to cut his clothes off.
HIKARI: Oh. Well, that's okay then.
MILPHEY: :: Glares at Zaha:: Only I can do that :: Pulls out sword::
CARROT: :: Screams and hides behind Marron::
MARRON: Don't worry, niisan. I'll protect you and provide the comfort you need to start off our own yaoi story.
CARROT: :: Scrambles back:: Why do I have to do this anyway?! I'm straight, dammit!
GATEAU: Face it Carrot, no woman will ever go for you. Join us on the yaoi side :: Makes Darth Vader breathing noises ::
CARROT: That's not true! I still have Tira and Chocolate ::turns to see the Misu sisters setting up the CARROT SLASH fanfic library and blanches::
CHOCOLATE: I've finished organizing all the stories according to rating, pairing, and author name. Teehee, I have seventeen fanfics under my name, darling.
TIRA: I only have ten ::BLUSH::
HIKARI: Let's get this over with and hope we can expand our CARROT SLASH library.
CARROT: Someone, please save me!
HIKARI: Now, for out first pairing -
CARTEAU
[ Carrot x Gateau ]
CARROT: What the hell?!
GATEAU: Hah! Alphabetical order will always be in my favor!
ZAHA: Fool, the best is always last :: Points to the Z on his name tag. Yes, they're all wearing name tags. The author neglected to mention that::
HIKARI: Okay, Carrot and Gateau are two opposites of each other. Gateau is muscular and isn't shy to show it ... in fact even though he's gay, he'll attract more women than Carrot ever will.
CARROT: Hey!
GATEAU: OH YEAH! ::Strips down to his underwear:: LOOK AT ME!
CARROT: I'm blind! :: Stumbles around to search for the exit::
HIKARI: I would like to read more about this pairing, but they're rare to come across. Any comments?
TIRA: I really can't picture them together, but I would definitely say that Gateau would be the seme of the relationship.
GATEAU: OH YEAH! ::flex::
CARROT: ::twitches:: WHAT RELATIONSHIP?!
CHOCOLATE: The only way I can see this happening is if Marron was out of the picture.
MARRON: ::frown:: That's not going to happen, but I'll be happy to share.
HIKARI: We'll get to you later, Marron. What about you two ::looks over at Milphey and Zaha who are sweat dropping watching Gateau flex::
MILPHEY: They make a rare pairing but I'm very open minded! ::smile::
ZAHA: I don't care. Stop flexing ::glares at Gateau:: you're making my eyes water in pain.
HIKARI: Okay, now for the most popular Carrot pairing ...
CARRON
[ Carrot x Marron ]
CARROT: ::Eyes fall out of his sockets:: YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK!
MARRON: :: Picks up Carrot's eyes:: Niisan, once you get past the incest you'll enjoy the sex.
CARROT: ::faints::
HIKARI: I have nothing against incest. Carrot and Marron are very close so I can see them together as a couple.
MARRON: Yes, my niisan and I are very close ::cuddles up with a half-conscious Carrot::
GATEAU: I have nothing against it, as long as I get to watch and maybe participate ::wide grin::
MILPHEY: Ditto!
MARRON: ::winks::
CHOCOLATE: I don't know ... I mean they're brothers! That's like someone writing a yuri story of Tira and me.
TIRA: eeew
ZAHA: Whatever, but if I see an OnionXCarrot story I really will destroy the world.
CARROT: ::shudders:: I'll actually help you on that.
HIKARI: ::cough:: Moving on ...
CARPHEY
[ Carrot x Milphey ]
MILPHEY: ::glomps Carrot:: Yay, it's my turn!
CARROT: Ack! Stop it! You didn't do this in the TV series!
MILPHEY: I wanted to though. Did you know my Haz Knight armor could fit another whole person in it? In fact ... I think you're the perfect size... wanna try?
CARROT: NO!!!
HIKARI: I find this couple to be pretty adorable since Carrot initiated the whole thing...
CARROT: :: Dodges the glomping Milphey:: I swear I thought he was a girl!
TIRA: It's hard to tell who would be the seme or the uke of this relationship. But I can picture Carrot as the uke.
CARROT: Wha???? But I'm manlier looking!
CHOCOLATE: Whatever, darling.
MILPHEY: :: Catches Carrot and glomps away:: I don't care as long as I'm with my Carrot-chan!
CARROT: Ahhhh! Don't call me that! ::tries to squirm out of Milphey's grip::
MARRON: ::foams with jealousy::
GATEAU: ::hands him a napkin::
HIKARI: What do you think, Zaha?
ZAHA: ::watches Carrot turn green and red:: I don't care as long as Milphey doesn't kill him. I need Carrot to help me destroy the world and for... other things.
CARROT: ::shudders:: I don't want to know!
HIKARI: And now for the last but not the least ...
CARAHA
[ Carrot x ZAHA ]
::CRICKETS CHIRPING FOR SEVERAL MINUTES::
HIKARI: Okay this pairing is the rarest of the rare ... almost nonexistent.
TIRA: Carrot would definitely be the uke.
CHOCOLATE: Wait, since we called Zaha 'daddy' when we were kids ... does that mean darling will be ... 'mommy'?
MARRON: ::faints into Gateau's arms::
GATEAU: I don't know who to pity, Zaha or Carrot? Actually, they're kind of made for each other.
CARROT: ::Glares at Gateau:: I hope some crazy fanfic writer pairs you up with my Pop.
ZAHA: :: Pulls Carrot to him:: You shall grant my wish and make my dreams reality! First I'll have you destroy the world and then in bed you...
::speaks in subtitles::
ALL: ::BLANCH::
CARROT: :: Pushes Zaha down the invisible stair case::
HIKARI: Wait, is that physically possible?
ZAHA: ::gets back up without a scratch on him:: I'm sure Carrot is flexible enough.
CARROT: ::nosebleeds::
ZAHA: ::evil grin::
HIKARI: Okay ... I think we should wrap things up since there are no other men to slash Carrot up with.
CARROT: ::washing his face:: Thank God
::Just then the door flies open and smacks Carrot in the face. The room is suddenly filled with a crowd of Sorcerers, parsoners, and basically the whole male cast from Bakuretsu Hunters::
SIRIUS: ::Flies over to Carrot:: I can't believe they locked us out! Carrot let's make babies together! ::glomps::
CARROT: MAKE WHAT?!
HIKARI: Okay, I know that's not possible unless Sirius has parts we don't know about.
GROUP OF HAZ KNIGHTS: Out of our way, bird boy! He's ours!
CARROT: ::shakes off Sirius:: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!!?!
CHOCOLATE: Wow! Look at all the men who want to do the nasty with Darling! I don't think our library is big enough.
CARROT: WAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! ::runs around screaming as the mob of perverted men chase him around the room::
TIRA: Okay! ::goes dominatrix:: let the CARROT SLASH AUCTION begin! ::wraps her whip around Carrot::
HIKARI: We'll start the bidding at the price for my dinner tonight: a McDonald's super value meal. What's that? 3.50? I have $3.50! Do I hear $5?
HIKARI: Gather 'round all ye yaoi fans!
CARROT: Why are speaking like that?
HIKARI: Thou dost not know ::cough:: Anyway, welcome to our show: 'Slashing up the Carrot!'
CARROT: :: Whimpers and covers up his family jewels ::
HIKARI: Don't worry, there won't be that kind of slashing in this. Zaha, put your sword away.
ZAHA: I was only going to use it to cut his clothes off.
HIKARI: Oh. Well, that's okay then.
MILPHEY: :: Glares at Zaha:: Only I can do that :: Pulls out sword::
CARROT: :: Screams and hides behind Marron::
MARRON: Don't worry, niisan. I'll protect you and provide the comfort you need to start off our own yaoi story.
CARROT: :: Scrambles back:: Why do I have to do this anyway?! I'm straight, dammit!
GATEAU: Face it Carrot, no woman will ever go for you. Join us on the yaoi side :: Makes Darth Vader breathing noises ::
CARROT: That's not true! I still have Tira and Chocolate ::turns to see the Misu sisters setting up the CARROT SLASH fanfic library and blanches::
CHOCOLATE: I've finished organizing all the stories according to rating, pairing, and author name. Teehee, I have seventeen fanfics under my name, darling.
TIRA: I only have ten ::BLUSH::
HIKARI: Let's get this over with and hope we can expand our CARROT SLASH library.
CARROT: Someone, please save me!
HIKARI: Now, for out first pairing -
CARTEAU
[ Carrot x Gateau ]
CARROT: What the hell?!
GATEAU: Hah! Alphabetical order will always be in my favor!
ZAHA: Fool, the best is always last :: Points to the Z on his name tag. Yes, they're all wearing name tags. The author neglected to mention that::
HIKARI: Okay, Carrot and Gateau are two opposites of each other. Gateau is muscular and isn't shy to show it ... in fact even though he's gay, he'll attract more women than Carrot ever will.
CARROT: Hey!
GATEAU: OH YEAH! ::Strips down to his underwear:: LOOK AT ME!
CARROT: I'm blind! :: Stumbles around to search for the exit::
HIKARI: I would like to read more about this pairing, but they're rare to come across. Any comments?
TIRA: I really can't picture them together, but I would definitely say that Gateau would be the seme of the relationship.
GATEAU: OH YEAH! ::flex::
CARROT: ::twitches:: WHAT RELATIONSHIP?!
CHOCOLATE: The only way I can see this happening is if Marron was out of the picture.
MARRON: ::frown:: That's not going to happen, but I'll be happy to share.
HIKARI: We'll get to you later, Marron. What about you two ::looks over at Milphey and Zaha who are sweat dropping watching Gateau flex::
MILPHEY: They make a rare pairing but I'm very open minded! ::smile::
ZAHA: I don't care. Stop flexing ::glares at Gateau:: you're making my eyes water in pain.
HIKARI: Okay, now for the most popular Carrot pairing ...
CARRON
[ Carrot x Marron ]
CARROT: ::Eyes fall out of his sockets:: YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK!
MARRON: :: Picks up Carrot's eyes:: Niisan, once you get past the incest you'll enjoy the sex.
CARROT: ::faints::
HIKARI: I have nothing against incest. Carrot and Marron are very close so I can see them together as a couple.
MARRON: Yes, my niisan and I are very close ::cuddles up with a half-conscious Carrot::
GATEAU: I have nothing against it, as long as I get to watch and maybe participate ::wide grin::
MILPHEY: Ditto!
MARRON: ::winks::
CHOCOLATE: I don't know ... I mean they're brothers! That's like someone writing a yuri story of Tira and me.
TIRA: eeew
ZAHA: Whatever, but if I see an OnionXCarrot story I really will destroy the world.
CARROT: ::shudders:: I'll actually help you on that.
HIKARI: ::cough:: Moving on ...
CARPHEY
[ Carrot x Milphey ]
MILPHEY: ::glomps Carrot:: Yay, it's my turn!
CARROT: Ack! Stop it! You didn't do this in the TV series!
MILPHEY: I wanted to though. Did you know my Haz Knight armor could fit another whole person in it? In fact ... I think you're the perfect size... wanna try?
CARROT: NO!!!
HIKARI: I find this couple to be pretty adorable since Carrot initiated the whole thing...
CARROT: :: Dodges the glomping Milphey:: I swear I thought he was a girl!
TIRA: It's hard to tell who would be the seme or the uke of this relationship. But I can picture Carrot as the uke.
CARROT: Wha???? But I'm manlier looking!
CHOCOLATE: Whatever, darling.
MILPHEY: :: Catches Carrot and glomps away:: I don't care as long as I'm with my Carrot-chan!
CARROT: Ahhhh! Don't call me that! ::tries to squirm out of Milphey's grip::
MARRON: ::foams with jealousy::
GATEAU: ::hands him a napkin::
HIKARI: What do you think, Zaha?
ZAHA: ::watches Carrot turn green and red:: I don't care as long as Milphey doesn't kill him. I need Carrot to help me destroy the world and for... other things.
CARROT: ::shudders:: I don't want to know!
HIKARI: And now for the last but not the least ...
CARAHA
[ Carrot x ZAHA ]
::CRICKETS CHIRPING FOR SEVERAL MINUTES::
HIKARI: Okay this pairing is the rarest of the rare ... almost nonexistent.
TIRA: Carrot would definitely be the uke.
CHOCOLATE: Wait, since we called Zaha 'daddy' when we were kids ... does that mean darling will be ... 'mommy'?
MARRON: ::faints into Gateau's arms::
GATEAU: I don't know who to pity, Zaha or Carrot? Actually, they're kind of made for each other.
CARROT: ::Glares at Gateau:: I hope some crazy fanfic writer pairs you up with my Pop.
ZAHA: :: Pulls Carrot to him:: You shall grant my wish and make my dreams reality! First I'll have you destroy the world and then in bed you...
::speaks in subtitles::
ALL: ::BLANCH::
CARROT: :: Pushes Zaha down the invisible stair case::
HIKARI: Wait, is that physically possible?
ZAHA: ::gets back up without a scratch on him:: I'm sure Carrot is flexible enough.
CARROT: ::nosebleeds::
ZAHA: ::evil grin::
HIKARI: Okay ... I think we should wrap things up since there are no other men to slash Carrot up with.
CARROT: ::washing his face:: Thank God
::Just then the door flies open and smacks Carrot in the face. The room is suddenly filled with a crowd of Sorcerers, parsoners, and basically the whole male cast from Bakuretsu Hunters::
SIRIUS: ::Flies over to Carrot:: I can't believe they locked us out! Carrot let's make babies together! ::glomps::
CARROT: MAKE WHAT?!
HIKARI: Okay, I know that's not possible unless Sirius has parts we don't know about.
GROUP OF HAZ KNIGHTS: Out of our way, bird boy! He's ours!
CARROT: ::shakes off Sirius:: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!!?!
CHOCOLATE: Wow! Look at all the men who want to do the nasty with Darling! I don't think our library is big enough.
CARROT: WAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! ::runs around screaming as the mob of perverted men chase him around the room::
TIRA: Okay! ::goes dominatrix:: let the CARROT SLASH AUCTION begin! ::wraps her whip around Carrot::
HIKARI: We'll start the bidding at the price for my dinner tonight: a McDonald's super value meal. What's that? 3.50? I have $3.50! Do I hear $5?