Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Slashing Up The Carrot ❯ MILPHEY ( Chapter 3 )

SLASHING UP THE CARROT

HIKARI: Wow, look at all the nice reviews we've gotten ^_^

CARROT: ::Glare:: I hate you guys.

HIKARI: And you want more? Carrot paired up with EVERY male on the show? Well, I'll try... teehee.

CARROT: ::Shudder:: I *really* hate you guys.

HIKARI: ::Sigh:: Carrot, do I have to write you naked again?

CARROT: I'll be good! I'll be good!

HIKARI: Good! ::Smile:: Now for our next pairing...

CARROT: ::Sulk::

HIKARI: Heeeeee're's Milphey!

CARROT: I thought his name was Millie?

MILPHEY: ::Suddenly appears behind Carrot:: Carrot-chan I don't care what you call me! ::glomp::

CARROT: Get off me, you freak!

MILPHEY: I'm only a freak when it comes to you, dear <3<3<3

CARROT: ::Shiver:: No, not the hearts! Make them go away! ::breaks out of the Milphey's crushing embrace and starts running to the exit::

HIKARI: Someone stop him!

CARROT: ::Pant:: Almost there ...

HIKARI: Hey, you guys!

ALL: ::Watching Carrot run in slow-motion and drools::

MILPHEY: Carrot-chan, where are you going?

CARROT: Away from all you perverts ... almost there ... Why the hell am I running in slow motion?!

HIKARI: Heheh

MILPHEY: Carrot-chan, no matter how fast (or how slow) you run, my love will always catch up to you! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

C ARROT: Not the hearts! Noooo! ::Hearts turn into tranquilizer darts and hit Carrot on his ... tush:: Nooo not the T-word! ::Faints::

MILPHEY: Oh my... I think I used to many hearts. Oh, well <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

MARRON: ::Sniff:: My poor, niisan. Hikari, I do get my chapter after this, right?

HIKARI: Of course, Marron. ::Pokes Carrot with a stick::

CARROT: ::Snores loudly::

HIKARI: Wow, he's out like a light. I guess you all know what this means...

CARROT: ::Smiles while snoring loudly::

HIKARI: Groping time!

ALL: Yay!

HIKARI: Please form a line and remember you get one minute each.

CARROT: ::Eyes snap open as he jumps to his feet:: I'm awake!!!

ALL: Awwww...

HIKARI: So, Milphey... Captain of the Haz Knights and famous cross dresser of Spooner, how did you come to pick Carrot-chan out of all the bishounen from the series?

MILPHEY: Heehee ::continues to glomp on Carrot who looks ready to die:: Well, it's really an interesting story...

// SLASHING UP THE CARROT PRESENTS: MILPHEY-LOCKS & THE 3 BISHOUNEN \\

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there lived a ditzy cross dressing Haz Knight named Milphey, who was on his way back to Stellar Church. Upon skipping along his normal path, he noticed something out of the ordinary. It seems he had come across a small harem of beautiful men for sale.

MILPHEY: ::Skipping:: La..la...la...la... oh my - a small harem of beautiful men for sale!

NARRATOR: ::Grumbles:: I just said that...::cough:: Anyway, Milphey approached them and decided to buy *one* to take home with him.

MILPHEY: ::Pouts:: Aww... just one?

NARRATOR: Yes, *one*.

MILPHEY: ::Pouts again:: Okay... Which do I choose? ::Looks at Marron::

MARRON: ::Murderous amber glare:: Stay away from my niisan.

MILPHEY: ::Shiver:: To cold... ::Looks at Gateau::

GATEAU: ::Strips down to flex:: LOOK AT ME!

MILPHEY: Oohh! ::Fans himself:: To hot... ::Looks at carrot::

CARROT: ::Stares down at himself suddenly and gapes:: Dammit! I'm naked again!

MILPHEY: ::Licks his lips:: Juuust right...::Glomps naked Carrot::

// END \\

HIKARI: I don't remember reading *that* in the manga...

MILPHEY: ::Shrugs:: I wasn't paying attention... at least not to those scenes ::Giggles as he flips through the half-naked Carrot pages::

CARROT: ::Rolls his eyes:: God, what a pervert.

HIKARI: Wow, you two would be perfect for each other... ::Shrinks away as all the other men in the room begin to growl:: Eep. So, Milphey... readers want to know, will you be the uke or the seme of this pairing?

CARROT: ::Mumbles:: If you think I'll be a seme in any yaoi pairing...

MILPHEY: ::Ignores Carrot while glomping tighter:: I would have to go with seme, since Carrot-chan is always playing hard to get.

CARROT: I'm not playing, dammit! I don't want any man to 'get' me!

MILPHEY: ::Suddenly turns into his macho-Haz-Knight side and purrs seductively:: My dear Carrot, I'm not just 'any' man.

CARROT: ::Gulps while blushing a little. Thinking: Oh damn... his masculinity is worse that the hearts!::

MILPHEY: ::Turns back to his ditzy feminine-like self:: Aww, you're blushing! Carrot-chan is just the cutest! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

CARROT: ::Paralyzed once more:: Ack! Never mind!

HIKARI: If you don't mind me asking, what do you imagine your first 'intimate' part of the relationship to be like?

MILPHEY: I don't mind at all! What I plan to do first, is make a slow and long trail of kisses from Carrot's mouth all the way down to his...

CARROT: ::Clamps his hands over his ears and begins to sing:: Lalalalalalala -I'm-not-listening-to -you-perverts alalalalala…

MILPHEY ::Continues as he plucks one of the hands over Carrot's ear away so he can nibble on it:: ... And then...

CARROT: Laalalalaa ::Blushes as he picks up part of the conversation:: I-I'm not gonna wear a dress! He's the cross dresser ::Points to Milphey:: not me!

MILPHEY: Hush, Carrot-chan. So after the whip cream-teddy is off...

CARROT: ::Blinks:: How is it suppose to come off? It's whip cream!

MILPHEY: ::Gives Carrot a wink and licks his lips::

CARROT: ::Nosebleeds:: Eeew! Sick! Sick!

MILPHEY: It'll be fine ...and very yummy.

CARROT: You'll get fat with all that whip cream. It'll ruin your girlish figure.

MILPHEY: ::Gasps and looks horrified:: Oh, goodness, no! ::Then looks thoughtful:: I'll just have to use the low-fat kind ::giggle::

CARROT: ::Sweats nervously:: Is this chapter over yet?!

HIKARI: ::Thinks about using the 'whip cream-teddy' somewhere in her fanfics:: Oh... One more question, what kind of dress would Carrot be wearing?

CARROT: I'm not wearing a dress!

MILPHEY: ::Dreamy smile:: One with ribbons and frills! Ohh, Carrot-chan would look perfect in pastels!

CARROT: ::In a louder voice:: I said, I'M NOT WEARING A DRESS! ANYTHING BUT A DRESS!

HIKARI: How about a 'whip cream-teddy? You did say 'anything' ... hehe

CARROT: ::Glare:: I hate you

HIKARI: Well, that's about it for this chapter. Oh and ::writes: "... and suddenly Carrot's clothes turned into a 'teddy made out of whip cream..."::

ALL: ::Standing in bigger drool puddles:: Let's eat!

CARROT: ::Screams::