Supernatural Fan Fiction ❯ Out of the Mouths of Babes ❯ Daddy Issues ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Chapter 8
 
Why does he look so different?
 
Absurdly, that was all Ryuji could think of as his father—his father, who was on his feet and strong enough to get to the human world and moving toward him in powerful strides—came closer. Elves never changed, so why did his father break that rule and become somehow diminished from the last time Ryuji had seen him?
 
Or was his father the same as ever, and it was he himself who had changed?
 
He was still trying to figure it out when his father—Alaron, his name was Alaron—reached him and said quietly and without ado, “Hello, Ryuji.”
 
There were no hugs, no reunion tears. For one thing, it hadn't been that long since they'd seen each other, in Elven time, and for another—well, their relationship just wasn't like that. So instead of all that, Ryuji looked at his father—he noticed he didn't have to look up so far now—and said, “Hello, father.”
 
It was a solid ten seconds before Sam broke the silence—a record for the nine-year-old, possibly. “Does this mean the game's over? Because I liked seeing Ryuji be bad at something.”
 
“Funny, funny boy,” Ryuji growled, poking Sam in the side and causing him to curl into himself and squeal. For that one second, he'd entirely forgotten his father was there, and when he remembered, he straightened abruptly and found Alaron looking at him with no emotion whatsoever.
 
“Oh. Yes. Father. This is Dean and Sam Winchester. I've been staying with them and their father—”
 
“Yes, I know,” Alaron said.
 
And then the silence came again, until Dean said slowly, “Okaaay…look, Ryuji, I'm gonna take Sam to get some ice cream, `kay? Dad won't be back for a while—you guys have plenty of time to…talk.”
 
“Thanks,” Ryuji said, disregarding the sudden urge to scream, No! Don't leave me! As a common, simple fight-or-flight reaction.
 
And then they were gone, and Ryuji was alone with his father, who still wasn't saying anything.
 
“So…do you…want to come inside?”
 
XXX
 
Alaron showed expressions once they were alone, and the first he displayed was distaste at the sight of the small motel room jam-packed with the usual two beds and a rollaway. And it was true that the room was cramped and not exactly bright and airy, but it wasn't dirty and it didn't smell bad. It was perfectly adequate.
 
But apparently Alaron didn't think so.
 
“This is where you fled to, then.”
 
“No,” Ryuji said. “This is where I came with the Winchesters. Baltimore is where I `fled.' If that's what you want to call it.”
 
“You call it something else?”
 
“Yes. I call it…searching. I needed help, and you weren't in a condition to provide it.”
 
“Well, as it turns out, I know more than they do about how Mother died. In fact, I probably know more than anybody in the whole world. Which…doesn't give me much hope, but I'm hoping to find out more.”
 
“And I assume you've taken steps to do this?”
 
“Well…no. I'm learning to hunt at the moment.”
 
“You've learned to use a bow?” Alaron asked, sounding surprised for the first time.
 
“…No,” Ryuji said again, and knowing how his father would react, decided to say it quickly. “I've been hunting…the human way. With…with guns.”
 
Alaron actually jumped a little, but when he spoke again all he said was, “You have…changed, Ryuji.”
 
“Of course I have. You haven't really seen me in ten years.”
 
He said it more loudly than he'd intended, and the silence that followed seemed unnaturally loud.
 
Finally, though, Alaron sighed and said, “We can…talk about this later. I have something for you.” He reached into his pack and pulled out a much-folded yellowed piece of paper.
 
“What is it?” Ryuji asked, taking it and unfolding it. It was a short letter, written in fine, neat writing.
 
“It is…the truth,” Alaron said, reluctantly. “You won't find much in it, but…enough. Read it.”
 
XXX
 
My Dear Alaron,
 
You should know I love you very much—more than I ever thought possible before I met you, perhaps. I realize that I should be happier about this new child of ours. I want to be happy about it. But somehow, I find myself worried—about many things.
 
The main worry I have is the boy himself. He does not seem like a proper Elven child at all. His coloring is too dark, his hair is too light, and he is far too loud—as if is bewailing the entire world. Human babies often do this, I realize, but Elven children should be quieter.
 
And yet, no one seems to see how wrong he is. The house revolves around him—as if he has seized your minds and made it impossible for the truth to be known. No one will believe me, which is why I am writing you this.
 
This brings me to my confession.
 
I am the cause of Ryuji's injury.
 
It was never my intention—I had a momentary lapse, and Ryuji's blindness in his eye is the result. I never intended it, but…I do not feel sorry for it, either. I feel nothing about it, and this frightens me.
 
I feel nothing for my son, and it frightens me.
 
You, however—you, I feel something for. I think of nothing but you, and I miss the time when you thought of nothing but me. I hope to see those days again.
 
Love, Your Wife
 
XXX
 
“It was found among her things. She never gave it to me. It is dated, and—I remember that the day after this was written, she became…very warm toward you. It feels…wrong…now, how she changed overnight, but at the time no one saw it.”
 
Ryuji could barely comprehend the words, but somehow he managed to find his vice.
 
“She…blinded me. And…hated me.”
 
He'd never really considered his sightless left eye to be much of a hindrance—he'd never even told the Winchesters about it, because he'd come to find out that that kind of thing was considered a handicap in the human world, and the fact that he could shoot perfectly well with it would have awed and confused them, which was something Ryuji could not afford. In fact, he rarely, if ever, even thought about his blind eye, and he certainly didn't waste time being unhappy about it.
 
But the idea that his mother had caused it, and didn't regret causing it...that was a whole other story.
 
You wish you could love him…but you don't…
 
So many things made sense now, and he wished they didn't.
 
“Ryuji, your mother…he was…her mind was broken by the time you were born. It had little or nothing to do with you—I only blame myself for shoving that knowledge aside for so long. Perhaps if I had accepted it…if I had tired to help…things would have turned out differently. But the point is, the woman who wrote this letter—she was not your mother. She was not my wife. She was someone no one knew—a stranger. Never let it change what you think of yourself.”
 
It was the most his father had ever said to him at one time, and for a moment, Ryuji couldn't say anything at all.
 
Then, quite abruptly, he looked up at Alaron and said, “Is this why you came?”
 
Alaron sighed. “Partly, yes. There is more, though.” He paused, then said, “You are needed. At home. I…want you to come home, Ryuji.”
 
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Author's Note: I can hopefully promise that this will be the last Winchester-less chapter, because this story seems to be winding down. I estimate maybe two or three more chapters, but who knows? Certainly not me.
 
So, anyway, yeah. I wrote this in about four hours during a snow day, which is why it's short, but I hope you enjoyed it!