Tokyo Babylon Fan Fiction / X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ SAVE C ❯ Subaru ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still don't own them...

/ Hashimoto Kuniko returns the handkerchief, and has a short conversation with Subaru. /

Author's Note: I have a feeling my mind started drifting off during this. ^^; But do humans really have a consistent thought pattern?! If they do, I need to see a psychiatrist! Kuniko mentions that she has a simple way of acting, which is why her thoughts were written in a very simple way. Strangely enough, she likes to think in present tense. =P Subaru however, is not a simple person. Frankly, I can't write in a complex way, but this is definitely not Kuniko.

SAVE C

Written by Ayako

2. Subaru

"Sumeragi-san..."

Subaru was never a famous person. His job kept him busy, but not as busy as he would've liked. There weren't many people that believed in spiritual powers, but few played around with the art. He doesn't know why people write up books on that sort of thing-especially when they are false. He was certain his clients never heard of the phrase, "Curiosity killed the cat". Or perhaps they have, but realize they aren't cats themselves. When he was younger, he was naturally curious. Seeing that he was always busy, he was never allowed the life of a normal teenager. What little he knew came from Hokuto. Whenever he tried to ask her about her life, she would turn the tables and focus on him. If he thought about it, all he really learned from her was how to coordinate his clothing. Besides life, Subaru had a desire to know about people. Not just teenagers, but everyone and everything. Up until the year when he thought he had everything he could ever want in life, he could remember every little about the people he met. But now, their faces were blurred, and their names were a mix in his head. With Hokuto gone, he could care less about everyone else. So seeing that he barely remembered them now, he didn't expect to recognize the woman that was kneeling before him.

Now, if Subaru were still a curious person, he would be wondering how she knew who he was. Or rather, how she had guessed he was related to the tombstone's owner.

But no, he wasn't.

Not even the tiniest bit.

"Sumeragi-san, don't you remember me? I'm Hashimoto Kiniko."

If it were nine years ago, Subaru would've blushed and stammered out an apology. However, this Subaru greeted her with a blank stare.

Her reaction was timid at best. "From... MS Institute?"

Subaru wasn't sure what to think. He didn't go to school often. If he was lucky, he attended once a month. School was never close to his mind, and he never expected to see any one of them again in the first place. He did, however, recognize the name.

It didn't mean Subaru remembered who she was though.

"Well, it's all right if you don't remember me... It has been nine years after all." She stood up and reached into her purse. "I've kept onto this for a long time... I don't know what I was thinking of when I said that I'd return it to you when I felt ready to meet you again," she pulled out a handkerchief before continuing, "Tokyo is a big place, after all. But, I guess it was the thought that counted at the time." She gave the handkerchief a lingering glance before offering it to Subaru.

Subaru wasn't sure what to think. The only thing he could do was decline. "I'm sorry, Hashimoto-san, but I don't need a handkerchief."

The woman blushed and shook her head. "N-no! This is yours! If you still don't remember..." She brushed aside the hair that covered the right side of her face. She blinked once, and then closed her eye eye to show a scar that started from her eyebrow and to the edge of her eyelid. "It's so clear in my head... That day you came to visit me, I wouldn't let you see me. Do you know why?" She didn't wait for Subaru to respond. "...It was because I didn't feel that I wasn't strong enough to meet you again. But... over the years, I think I *have* grown stronger." She took a deep breath and continued, "So... I want to give this back to you. I'm done borrowing your strength."

Subaru looked at the handkerchief, not feeling quite right about accepting something from someone that was practically a stranger to him, regardless of the fact that the object in question was his own. On the other hand, it was already rude not to acknowledge the existance of Hashimoto. "Thank you," he replied, accepting it.

Hashimoto smiled, looking relieved at this and let her hand go, the hair falling back into place. "I'm glad that fate gave us the chance to meet today." She looked around, and seemed to be waiting for something.

Did she want to be left alone? Hashimoto herself said she was glad, and it sounded like a kind of 'final say'... but she didn't seem to look as if she plannd to leave anytime soon. He noticed that she was looking at the bench nearby.

Subaru sighed. He might as well oblige her 'request'. He made his way to the bench and she followed. He was tempted to have a cigarette, but he had run out a few hours ago. The only reason he had gone out was to visit Hokuto's grave and to get a new packet for his addiction.

"Sumeragi-san... Are you all right? You don't look so good," Hashimoto said, her voice filled with worry.

Subaru allowed himself to lean back into the bench, unused, but not totally opposed to the relaxing atmosphere. "Thank you," he said dryly.

Hashimoto colored once more. "Oh! I don't mean that you *look* bad! It's just the expression on your face... You look tired, and... sad..." She looked at her hands and her voice came out as a squeak, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't intrude."

Subaru let the tension stay for a few seconds before deciding that he shouldn't be bad company, despite his unhappiness. It was kind of nice to have a chat, even if he wasn't particpating too much. "So, what have you done for the past nine years?"

"I've... I've become a counselor to teenagers at the local high school," Hashimoto shifted around, seeming a little nervous. "Even if Kumiko-sensei didn't understand, she was willing to try. It may not have been the right way, but she did what she thought would help. I always wanted to be saved by someone, I wanted someone to save me..." Another deep breath. She looked more relaxed as she continued to speak, "But no, I realized that nothing would be achieved if all I did was wait. If all I did was forgive people, only to be hurt again... nothing would happen. I thought about how others could be going through the same thing... and... I knew I never wanted that to happen again."

The shyness seemed to be gone.

"I couldn't allow anymore anymore to be swayed away by empty promises. People... They *need* guidance. Teenagers think they know everything, but they don't. Kimiko-sensei isn't the only one that doesn't understand. Not all teachers went through every bad situation. It doesn't matter how much training they have if they don't relate to their student. Times change, people change... They need to learn that there won't be someone to save them. ...They don't have to learn to love, but they can't continue to hate their tormenters."

Subaru made a motion in the air that resembled that of pulling a cigarette away from his lips. He wasn't curious. No, he was just being polite. "So... what is it they have to do?"

"I'm not saying that it's something I'm forcing them to do... But, if they want to move on... that's what they have to do. They have to move on."

Subaru paused, still in his motion of putting the invisible cigarette back into his mouth. "... How do they do that?" He saw her lips twitch, and then realized that she was resisting the urge to laugh. "I'm pleased you find me so amusing," he sighed.

"Sorry! But... well, it's not like a recipie you follow. Everyone has their own way of moving on."

Subaru tapped his finger against a thigh. "What if someone chose to express their way by hate?"

Hashimoto looked surprised at this question. "I can't say it's very healthy... but if that is their decision, it's something we'll have to abide by."

"Healthy?"

"Obsession isn't very healthy... I can't really explain it... But hate being the basis of it isn't good... It's pointless."

"Pointless? How would you know?" Subaru knew she meant well and they weren't talking about him in the first place, but he couldn't help but feel offended. He noticed that she seemed offput by his comment and now he felt guilty. "I'm..."

"I'm sorry!"

"... Huh?"

Hashimoto shook her head. "No, I'm sorry... I've had experience in my job for a while... But I don't know everything. I have no real right to judge what's unhealthy or not. I'm not a psychiatrist, after all," she chuckled.

Subaru didn't know why, but it seemed a little funny-so he offered her a tiny smile in response, somewhat grateful that she was trying to break the ice.

"Sumeragi-san... You should really smile more. It looks as if you haven't cracked a smile for so long..." Hashimoto appeared to want to say something, but couldn't. Subaru knew what she was thinking.

Subaru didn't think Hashimoto would touch on the subject of his "sad face", but he knew he couldn't just ignore her. It was obvious she wanted to know a little about him since it wasn't likely they'd meet again.

... Actually... Well, he *could* ignore her, but Subaru felt that he needed to talk to someone. He wanted to get some of it off his chest and now, now was his chance. Now, where to start...?

"I... My sister..."

Hashimoto nodded, looking in the direction of the grave.

"Yeah, that's a reason why... We were close. Without her, I'm incomplete... I want to get revenge for her death."

"You know who the murderer is?"

"... All too well. He was a very close friend of ours."

"... Very close?"

"Yes. He's... special to me. But I can never forget what he did to her. No matter what, I can't get him out of my mind. I want to kill him, I want to tell him how much pain he put me through, even if he doesn't understand. I..." Subaru loved Seishirou, no doubt about that, and he hated that part of him.

"Sumeragi-san..."

Here it would come. Words of advice, consolation, what he would expect. But no one could ever help him. That, that was Hokuto's area of expertise.

"I know that I can't replace your sister... And you know what? I'm not going to try... I don't know what you're going through, I'll give you that. I know that there isn't a way I can help you. I'm just... me. I'm no special person of yours. But I'm going to tell you one thing, Sumeragi-san."

"And what's that?" Subaru muttered, feeling a headache come on from his less than happy thoughts. He placed his hands on the sides of his head to get ahold of himself.

Quiet. There was nothing.

Seconds, precious time passed by.

All he heard was silence.

When was she going to speak?

Then he heard her stand up, and he looked at her.

"Your sister will be sad if you continue to mourn for her," Hashimoto said, a signal that she was going to leave.

Subaru looked at the handkerchief and back at her. "You can take this back... I don't think I deserve this."

"No. Keep it. It was yours in the first place. This time... This time I'll be the one lending my strength."

In an instant, their conversation had come to a close.

Hashimoto offered her his hand. "It was nice to see you, Sumeragi-san. We'll see each other again soon, hmm?"

"Un," Subaru said with a nod, and shook her hand. He knew this wasn't a promise. Neither of them expected to meet again.

"I hope that you'll be able to find happiness."

With those last words, she took off.

Subaru stood up, looking at the insignia marked on the handkerchief, remembering how Hokuto said they should have their own special Sumeragi handkerchiefs. She said they would be stylish, and show that they had class. Happiness, huh? That was a thought.

It would be nice to have that.

~End~

Author's FINAL Notes: Wheee, finally... done. It's rough, yeah, but I'm really not in the mood to do revision. It may happen... after a long long time, but I tend to revise as I reread each little phrase I do. I don't think I developed it too well, but I wasn't trying to solve Subaru's problems or anything. For the matter, I wasn't trying to solve any problems. I think that in TB, Subaru was working hard to solve the problems of everyone, but never really addressed his own. In this case, well, nothing happens. It's just... talk, but nothing coming out of it besides Subaru, well, maybe thinking differently in the future.

In case you didn't notice the title, it's named after the chapters in TB that involved Hashimoto Kuniko, SAVE A and SAVE B. Hmm, I had my author's notes planned out a few days ago, but now I can't quite remember them...

Notice how in the first portion, Kuniko said that she was also a poised person? Look, she's talking with someone that deals with spirits! ^_~

Okay, my hand kind of hurts and I should've slept before eleven 'o clock. Bah, mom is mad because I was trying to start on my "sleep before eleven 'o clock rule".