Trigun Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ D/Chick and County One-Shots ❯ Save The Zell Plushy!! ( Chapter 5 )

Save the Zell Plushy!!

-A D/Chick and County One-Shot Rant-

D/Chick: (Sitting on the new small sofa in the One-Shot Living Room sighing and twisting a lock of hair around her finger) You know, I feel so terrible…(Sighs dramatically) I didn't invite one GW boy to the Barbeque…and they're all so hott!! (Throws hands in a hopeless gesture into the air)

Gareas: (Sitting next to her) Uhm, she means Gundam Wing boys…just incase you didn't know…

D/Chick: (Ignoring Gareas) Not even my precious girly-boy Quatre!! (Starts fake crying) Ohh, I'm such a terrible, wretched WENCH!! (Picks up a wooden apple from the coffee table center piece and hands it to Gareas) Kill me, now!!

Gareas: (Confused) With a wooden apple?

D/Chick: (Stops her dramatic ploy and cracks up, beating her fist against her knee in a slap-stick manner) AH HA HAAAA!!! No, you moron!! (Thunks Gareas on the head) Ok, so this One-Shot is going to be a special GW Boys edition! (Happy thumb and sparklies) Ooh, whatta hoot! And, by the way…have any of you seen County? I had to get Gareas to help me with the opening note (Hmphs) he's so unreliable!!

Gareas: (Points to his chest) Me or County?

D/Chick: County, you silly…(Ruffles his hair) You're too sweet for that!! Hmmm…so…I guess I better invite the GW boys over, ne? AWRIGHT, HOTT BOYS!! (Throws fist up into the air, then gets up toward the phone…still holding onto Gareas's hair ^^;)

Gareas: (Clawing at her hand) HEY! Put me down!!

D/Chick: (Ignoring his protests) AND we can make them join our club, too!! YAHOO!!

Gareas: AHGGG!!

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DING-DONG

D/Chick: OMG OMG OMG they're here!! (Starts jumping up and down while running to the door)

Gareas: (-_-) Crazy girl…(Gets to the door first)

D/Chick: (Trips on the rug and falls over) Oof!!

Gareas: (Opens the door wide, the silhouettes of the five GW boys in the frame) Um, hey…come in.

D/Chick: (Looks up from the rug, practically eating it) O.O Hello…there…hott…boys…(Jumps up suddenly) Hey hey, come on in!! (Shakes each of their hands excitedly ^^;)

Heero: (Crosses arms across his chest) Now whom are we supposed to kill again?

D/Chick: ^^; No one…I just wanted to invite you guys over for some…umm…(Realizes she has no reason for them to be over except to stare at them)…TEA!! Yes, for tea! And crackers!

Quatre: (Clasps hands together) I like tea!

D/Chick: (Comes back from the kitchen, a box of green tea in one hand and a box of crackers in the other) I hope you guys like Chicken in a Biscuit!!

Gareas: Umm, aren't you going to tell them about the club?

D/Chick: Oh yeah!! (Throws the two boxes into the other room and throws her arms around Gareas's neck, sparklies filling the air) Me n' Gareas created a fantastical club…the I LOVE RIOROUTE CLUB!! (Peace sign) it's fabulous!! We get together weekly and simply obsess!! Aint it great!?!?

Wufei: Um, sure…

Duo: (Points to Gareas) You mean that guy has the hots for this Rio…Rouee…Rooloo…whatever-his-name-is?

D/Chick: Umm…well…something of the sorts…more like incomprehensible lust, really.

Gareas: YOU!!!!! (Thonks D/Chick on the head hard)

Trowa: … (No comment ^^;)

*…The Phone Rings…*

D/Chick: (Snaps up, holding a random icepack to her head) Eh? (Jumps up and answers the phone clumsily) Yo yo yo, gimme the beef…oh yeah, One-Shot residence…

Shady Phone Stalker: …

D/Chick: I said HELL-O. What's up crazy Krispy Kreme?

Shady Phone Stalker: …Hello there little- (Coughs and deepens his voice) um, girl…if you want your Zell Plushy back, then meet me at the nearest McDonalds and make me a deal. Kudos? (Hangs Up)

D/Chick: (Didn't hear the click) HEY YOU CRAZY KRISPY KREME I WASN'T DONE RIPPIN' THE RANCH TO YOU YET GET YOUR SUGARY ASS BACK HERE!!

Gareas: I think they hung up.

D/Chick: (Whips around with the phone still in her hand) STAY OUT OF THIS BEAN BOY, THEY STOLE MY ZELL PLUSHY!!

Gareas: Your what?

Duo: What's a Zell Plushy?

Quatre: I think it's a type of toy.

Trowa: Or maybe a doll.

Wufei: The little girl-chicken still plays with her dolls? How weak!

Heero: No, childish. All women are weak.

D/Chick: (Throws the phone, the cradle hitting Heero and the phone-phone hitting Wufei) SAY THAT AGAIN AND I'LL RIP YOUR-

Gareas: Isn't the Zell Plushy that thing that you always poof away with?

D/Chick: (Pouts) Yes…

Quatre: (Gives D/Chick's icepack to Heero and Wufei) Well, how are you going to get it back?

D/Chick: (Points index finger and grins) With my awe-inspiring and super genius intellect, duh!!

Gareas: -_- Riiiight…

D/Chick: (Points finger in a random direction) TO THE NEAREST MCDONALDS!!

Quatre: (Confused) Why are we going to McDonalds?

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D/Chick: (Stalking down the sidewalk, the GW boys following close behind *Gareas went home ^.~ *) That Krispy Kreme of a Phone Stalker better gimme my Zell Plushy or I'll make him say "Yahzo" before you can say "Jimmy Dean eat sum sausage".

Wolfwood: What the hell is she talking about? Food Gibberish?

Folken: (Shrugs) Beats me.

D/Chick: (Whips around) What the hell are you two doing here!?

Wolfwood: We always tag along in your pathetic little misadventures so don't be surprised.

Folken: (Grins) you and your sarcastic little friend are quite amusing.

D/Chick: -__- w/e…I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm being surrounded by too many men…I should've gotten a girl side-kick…(Steps into the McDonald's parking lot, and looks up to see…)

Everyone: Huzzah? That be a-

D/Chick: MY ZELL PLUSHY!! OH MY GOD SOMEONE SAVE IT QUICK!!!! THE SUN WILL BLEACH THE COLOR OUT OF IT!! (Starts dancing around the flagpole, clawing at her head to keep calm)

Folken: (Cracking up) See what I mean? She's hilarious to watch!!

Wufei: (Grins maliciously) The girl-chicken even walks like poultry.

D/Chick: (Hopping around sporadically) Aiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!! Someone, get it down!!

County: (Approaches the GW Boys and Folken and Wolfwood, wearing a skinny and ridiculous black moustache) Hello there, fellow, err, compatriots.

Duo: (Points at County from behind Heero) Are you the creepy Krispy Kreme Phone-Stalker?

County: (Suave grin) Why, yes, I happen to be that man…if you want the Zell plushy back I demand nothing but…(Points at Wolfwood's face) ONE MILLION FREAKING DOLLARS!! BA HA HA HA HAAA!!!

D/Chick: (Stomps back over, angry) HEY, wait!! I know that laugh anywhere!! (Rips off County's skinny and ridiculous black moustache) HA!! I knew it!!

Folken: Like, you couldn't tell? Even I knew that was your sarcastic little friend and I've known him for only a few Rants.

D/Chick: Uhm…well…shaddup!! Don't get cocky with me!! (Turns back to County) Get my Zell plushy down DAMMIT!!!!

County: Uhm…(Scratches head)

D/Chick: (-_-) What is it?

County: (Shows hands hopelessly) I dun remember how I even got it up there! (Points finger) HA!

D/Chick: That's `k! I brought my nifty Batman Jet-pack just incase!!

Quatre: My, what preparation!!

D/Chick: (Grins, feeling so clever. Pulls on Jet-pack and pushes a button on it, going up into the air) YAH-ZAHHH!! LOOKIT ME GO!!

County: I rigged it, JUST INCASE!! (Bends over and laughs at his own joke)

Duo: Now that's just cruel

D/Chick: LOOKIT LOOKIT LOOK- Whazzah? Aiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!! (Falls unceremoniously to the ground, thumping in the grass)

Trowa: Ho boy…

Heero: (Smirks devilishly) Heh, not to fear…the perfect soldier is off to save the day. (Pulls out his nifty Gundam remote, and clicks a button on it. An explosion off in the distance is heard) Oops, so much for that one mission…(Clicks the right button) …

Quatre: …

Duo: …

Trowa: …

Wufei: …

Folken: …

Wolfwood: …

Heero: (Shields his eyes from the sun as he looks up to see a glimmer in the sky. Wing Zero falls to the ground, smashing the McDonalds)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!

Folken: (Whistles) Heavier than a guymelef.

Heero: (Somehow jumps and hops up the side of his Gundam, looking like a monkey)

Wolfwood: (Raises an eyebrow) How the hell does he do that?

Quatre: (Picking flowers in the nearby field)

D/Chick: (Still winded from her fall)

County: (Nowhere to be seen)

Heero: (Unties Zell Plushy and throws it down to D/Chick) Here you go…

D/Chick: (Squeals in delight) OMG OMG OMG how can I ever thank you?

Heero: (Grins evilly) wellllll…

Duo: (Smacks hand over his mouth) It's on the house.

D/Chick: (Hugs Zell Plushy to her chest) I'm never letting you out of my sight aga- (The Zell Plushy's head pops off from being squeezed too much)

County: (His evil laugh is heard from over the distance)

D/Chick: (*sob sob*)

Quatre: (Drops the bouquet of flowers that he picked before Sandrock shyly, blushing like crazy) I picked these for you, my Sandrock…(Still blushing, draws a heart in the ground with his foot)

El Fin ^^; -

D/Chick: (Hair is done up on top of her head, wavy ringlets spilling everywhere, wearing a small red dress and dark lipstick) Ohhh, County Boy…(Dramatic Violin Tune plays in the background)

County: (Wearing a black suit and one-eye glasses *y'know, the kind with the little chain?* messy blonde hair slicked back with gel) My dear D/Chick, how can you ever forgive me?

D/Chick: (Places a hand over her chest) I do not know…but, for as long as I live, I vow to never hate you…(Turns head away)

County: (Approaches) Then…will you forgive me…with this?

D/Chick: Does the Planet forgive the people? Does the Water forgive the Fire? Does the Rose forgive the weed?

Folken: (In the background, LHAO)

County: (Leans in to D/Chick's face) Let us find out…

D/Chick: Ohhh, County Boy…(Kisses his cheek, making it look like they're making out)

County: Ohhhhhh….

Wolfwood: CUT, cut!! Ok, that's a wrap, folks!! Good job you too!!

D/Chick: (Tears away from County, coughing and gagging) OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWFUL!!

County: (Hacking) Ugh, get the taste out of my mouth, GET IT OUT!!

Folken: (Hands each of them a bottle of mouthwash)

County: (Glugs the whole thing down and spits it back out everywhere) ACK, it burns!!

Folken: Extra strength!!

D/Chick: Ugh, I don't CARE!! (Swallows the whole thing)

Folken: O__O I dunno if that was such a good idea D/Chick…

D/Chick: (Throws bottle at Folken) Whatever…well, hey folks!! Me n' County had to play a small role in a soap opera to earn enough money to build a new McDonalds…and why do we always keep on smashing whole buildings?

County: No, why do YOU keep on smashing whole buildings?? It's always your fault!! And if the GW boys just gave me the ransom then we wouldn't of had to do…(Shivers) that.

D/Chick: Ahh, shaddup…(Brightens up) Well folks, see you the next exciting time on the D/Chick and County One-Shots!! ^.~ Much obliged!! (Peace sign and sparklies)

County: Exciting…more like frightening…

D/Chick: Ciao! (Poofs into nowhere while grabbing a headless Zell Plushy)

County: (Stumbles off to his dressing room, mumbling about horrible mouthwash and blasted GW boys…)

EL Fin ^^; -