Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Blood ❯ Blood Part Three ( Chapter 3 )

These characters are not mine and I'm not making one red cent off this story.

Blood Part Three

by Selenite

Touga's noticed how I've been acting lately. I'm not quite sure what to say, what explanation I can give him. The truth? That's a little scary. I will have to tell him though. But I'm afraid that he'll be angry. He knows how I feel about them and I know that he suggested that I have as little contact with them as possible. If I tell him why I'm so nervous, Touga will know that I violated his trust. But still, I do owe it to him.

The problem is that I can't even believe it myself and yet it explains so damn much. I mean, I don't look anything like my parents. My father's hair is dark and he has brown eyes. My mother's eyes are hazel and her hair is dark too. Why the hell I didn't see this before? I need to tell Touga about this. If I can, maybe he'll help me sort this out. Although he has gotten kind of distant lately……..

I've made up my mind. I'll tell him about the letter.

*****************

I'm worried about Kyouichi. Something's wrong. something's been wrong ever since that stupid thing about his blood. I've also been short with him lately. Sifting through official records has proven difficult, especially when those records are nearly impossible to obtain. I knew that this project would be hard and that I would need all the support that I could get. Yet I had kept this from the Kiryuus, my sister, and Kyouichi.

The Kiryuus and my sister, I'm afraid that my project would hurt them. I idin't tell Kyouichi either. I…..I just wasn't sure if I could tell him. As much as I care about him, as much I want him to trust me and me to trust him, I can still feel myself shrink from the idea of telling Kyouichi something so personal. And it shames me. But I still need him.

He supports me when I can't burden Nanami with my troubles and yet I still can't tell him about my project. Kyouichi's growing distant, he's preoccupied and troubled by something. I know the feeling and yet I'm disturbed to see this behavior, for he pretends that nothing's wrong when something obviously is and it infuriates me. What infuriates me even more is the shame, I can see the same behavior in myself.

Sooner or later, I will have to tell him. Our secrets are affecting our relationship in a bad way. But how and when to tell him, ah, that's the difficult part. For now, I will only trust that the time will present itself. I'm too cowardly to do anything else.

****************

that night

Kyouichi sighed and took a breath, hoping to steady himself. He had suggested a break earlier, hoping that by then he would have the courage. He still didn't have it now but was determined to say it anyway.

"Touga."

"Hmmm.", Touga looked up at him over a cup of tea. Something had been antagonizing his mate the entire evening and damned if he could figure out what it was.

"Touga, I……"

Yes, what is it, Saionji?", Touga asked, hoping to soothe the other boy with the ease of his voice.

Kyouichi closed his eyes for a moment, the eyelids beating fiercely with his pulse. "I sent them a letter."

"Them? Whos' them?"

`You know who, Touga. Them. My parents."

Touga's eyes set and his hands put the cup down. The temptation on his tongue was to berate Kyouichi. Damn it all! He had told the other boy not to do so in order to protect him. He decided against it and instead resolved to find out why Kyouichi would do something so……dangerous for him. "Kyouichi, why did you do that? We both know what kind of people they are. We decided that it was best to let them keep up appearances of being a good family from a safe distance. We decided that you shouldn't contact them unless necessary."

"I needed to ask them something. I needed to know about my blood, Touga."

"God, not that thing again. Are you telling me that you wrote to them over that? Why?"

Kyouichi was silent for while. Further irritated, Touga prompted again, "Kyouichi, why?"

"They aren't my real parents."

"What?!"

"They wrote me back. I was adopted because they knew my real parents and needed an heir. Assholes even sent me copies of the official papers."

"Where are these papers, this letter. I want to see them, Kyouichi."

Kyouichi tenderly brought out he papers from inside a folder of his. He handed them to Touga and waited, silent and tense, eyes cast downward. Touga studied the papers one by one, stunned by the implication of their content, the meaning they held for his friend.

"My God, Kyouichi."

"What I don't understand is why they took me in. They hate me! How the hell did they feel about my real family?"

"Kyouichi…..", Touga whispered the name again, unsure of what to do and how to make things better, instead simply falling back on Kyouichi's name and hoping it conveyed the sympathy he felt.

"Kyouichi's face looked paler than usual and determined. "They haven't told me the whole story. I need to find that out from them."

"No.", Touga embraced him and breathed the word on his cheek, wanting to dissuade him from such a dangerous action. "Kyouichi, don't. Don't make it harder for you. Don't." He winced slightly as he remembered the story that he wanted to find out.

Kyouichi's body melted into and returned the hug. His eyes still held the spirit of resolution, determination. Touga didn't see his eyes but felt what they held all the same. He prayed that his lover wouldn't come out of this too hurt.

Sorry that it's been so long between chapters but I've been having doubts about this story. If you have any comments, feel free to email me at hselenite@aol.com