Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Blood ❯ Blood Part Two ( Chapter 2 )

Welcome to the second part of Blood. I hope you find that the story gets more interesting here. And as usual, I don't own these characters and am not making one red cent off this.

Blood Part Two

By Selenite

Alright, Saionji. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Focus your mind and calm down.

I sent the letter today. Last night I wrote it just like I promised myself. Actually, I wrote it about five times. I just couldn't get the words to fit on the paper. Why am I so damn bothered about something so simple as a letter? Well, the answer kind of……it hurts.

It's about my parents. The letter's for them. They're not the sort of people who should be having kids but they did anyway. I'm positive that they didn't genuinely want me, they just wanted someone to carry on the family name. I think that's why I got so close to Touga. I could tell that he had some of the same problems although he never told me. How do I know that they didn't want me? It's easy, they told me so. Very often actually, along with me being a burden and too thin, too small and pale, and that they hated me……and you know what? I hate them.

They sent me to a private school and gave me the best Kendo lessons. They paraded me in front of company and acted like I was their precious little boy. But they treated me like shit! They yelled at me for being a necessary evil, they beat me over the stupidest things like a spilled cup of tea. And I would believe that it was all my fault, that if I was a better kid, they wouldn't scream at or hit me. I never once blamed them. I should have. Do you know how long it took me to understand that it was not okay to hit people just because my parents did it to me? I don't want to tell you.

I used to be absolutely miserable and angry. I didn't think that I could ever earn love because I couldn't get it from them. But I still wanted it. Now I have love with someone and I haven't spoken a word to my parents in about two months. It was his idea to have as little contact with them as possible, really. Touga could see how they always hurt me. He never told me that he and Nanami are adopted but I know. And I never told him about what my parents do to me but he knows. We know each other like that, we understand each other. That's why I love him back. He makes me feel worthwhile and deserving of love. I can't tell you how good that feels.

But I still want to know about this thing that's been bothering me, this thing about my bloodtype. Why did my parents say I was an O when I wasn't? If I'm lucky they won't send a legion of hurricanes and pestilence my way and actually deign to tell me why they lied. Maybe from there I can ask them why they treat me the way they do. Well, why not? I've been very luck lately, I have Touga to help me.

***

My project. I haven't told Kyouichi about it. I haven't even told Nanami about it. Although if I find anything out I think that I will tell her.

I can remember when my parents died. I was four years old and Nanami was barely one. She was much too young to have known what had happened. I was however, just barely so. Of course the memory is hazy but I do remember that it was a car crash. Even now the thought of a car crash disturbs me. I can't remember much about my life before then. It's as if their deaths loom above everything else in my early memories to the point of erasing them. There are vague impressions of my parents' faces and seeing Nanami for the first time. And there is something else that I can't quite remember. But that something must have been very important. I don't know why I know this anymore than I know why I forgot it.

The Kiryuus adopted the both of us. They were in search of heirs and we badly needed a family. It seemed perfect at first. When I first learned that Nanami and I were going to be adopted I felt as if my life had finally given me back some control, some sense of stability. When I first met my new parents I was both pleased and terrified. They were rich like my real parents were and the house was so big and the things in it seemed so impressive to me. But what if they didn't like us? What if they had changed their minds and didn't want us after all? Would we go back to the orphanage then?

But they did keep us. And they seemed nice enough if a bit formal and detached, at least to a four year old boy who wanted a family and stability so very much. We grew up as Kiryuus and Nanami never knew that it wasn't always that way for us. It seemed cruel to tell her the truth. We were surrounded by luxury, formality, and wealth.

But I still pined for something else besides control over my life and the safety of my sister. I wanted familiarity, family. Nanami was family but she was too young and depended on me too much to provide the support that I wanted. Although now she has matured a bit since then and I'm grateful for that for the both of us. The Kiryuus gave us the best of everything but they were frequently unavailable due to business. They still are as a matter of fact. And it was apparent that they didn't really know what to do with children except that children could be groomed into heirs. I need something more than that and so does my sister.

This is what my project is: I am looking for my blood family. Surely our parents couldn't have been our only relatives. Perhaps that is what that something that I forgot is, the faces of aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I'm not quite sure of what I will do if I find anyone. If there are blood relatives, why didn't they take us in? What could we possibly say to each other after so many years? Perhaps I will content myself with knowing that Nanami and I are not alone with our blood and not contact any of them. Perhaps then I will be satisfied.

I won't let the Kiryuus know about this. This is being paid with my own funds from some stock ventures that my father got me into as "training" for taking up the family business. While they certainly could have done better they did take us in when the future looked so bleak. Considering that, I don't want to hurt them although I think that wouldn't have mattered to me before. No matter, a lot of things matter to me now.

Ah, Kyouichi. You and Nanami have always mattered to me. I remember wishing that if I had another relative he would be just like you. But of course I like being your lover very much too.

When I first realized how your parents treat you behind closed doors I was shocked and infuriated. How could anyone treat you like that? You seemed so sweet, so pure and yet unhappy. And frequently bruised. I swore to be there for you and protected you as much as I could from them. Although your sweet innocence and companionship was enough to make me swear that already. You and Nanami give me strength and conviction. Please Kyouichi, please keep doing so. I need your strength for my project.