Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ The straight, the gay and the bi ❯ Scene one ( Chapter 1 )

Please Read and Review when you're finished, I don't mind criticism and I don't mind flames, however nice reviews are VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

Disclaimer - I do not own the Vision of Escaflowne or any related themes, characters, you get the message... oh, and I am very sorry Elton John. I do not own and am not associated with THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY. Also, I would like it to be known, that although this is a hilarious comedy, we respect the gay community to the fullest extent!

Look for these other great Yaoi Escaflowne titles coming to a theatre near you!

TRAILER PREVIEW ONE

This is Gaia.

Three separate but equally important groups, fight for the criminal justice system of.... Gaia.

There are the officers who investigate crimes, the lawyers who prosecute the perpetrators, and of course, there are the criminals who commit the crimes.

These are their Stories.

BAIL AND PROBATION

("Law and Order" Sound Effect)

TRAILER PREVIEW TWO

Gaia, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Air Ship : Crusade. It's ten year journey to boldly go where no "man" has gone before.

"Star Wreck."

TRAILER PREVIEW THREE

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, two sides of a world are at war. As the evil Emperor Dornkirk makes military movements to claim the planet Gaia as his own, his sexy militia branch, The Dragon Slayers, realize that the only way to overcome their own soap opera like problems is to "come out the closet" so to speak. On the other side, our heroic heroes also find difficulties in revealing their true sexual identities and come to the realization that the only way to obtain world peace is to win the heart of the vicious and evil commander Dilandau and to kill the evil Emperor. The only problem is, our heroes don't know what Master Dilandau's sexual orientation really is.

"Star Whirs"

Whir - murmuring sound expressive of contentment

TRAILER PREVIEW FOUR

This Summer,

comes a thriller unlike any other,

because it's truly gay,

there is no other way.

Seven young teens, (Hitomi, Dilandau, Miguel, Van, Gatti, Milerna, and Merle) are all best friends, until they move to a town in which yaoi is never permitted. Some of the group is yaoi, and that causes very sincere problems. You'll be on the edge of your seat as the yaoi cast is pursued by a vicious homophobic sociopath who knows their little secret.

I KNOW WHO YOU SLEPT WITH LAST SUMMER

NOTE: NONE OF THESE WILL ACTUALLY BE PURSUED! (WE ARE THINKING ABOUT STAR WHIRS THOUGH.

AND NOW FOR OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION

Feather Fall Pictures Presents

In Association with Gigglefitz Studios AND Saucy Entertainment

THE STRAIGHT,

THE GAY,

AND THE BI

(Funky western music)

Starring

The Straight

Julie Joanna Amanda Chesta Milerna

Dryden Folken

The Gay

Van Guimel Gatti Dalet Gaddes

The A-Crew Elton John

And The Bi

Dilandau Miguel Allen Naria Eyria

Musical Numbers By

Elton John

The Village People

Instrumental Score by

RCI BAND

Scene One

The scene opens up with a typical western town setting. As a tumbleweed rolls by the camera moves up to the Lusty Knight's Saloon and through the swinging doors. The fill-ins are at the bar drinking, or gathered around tables associating with the western mafia. The A-Crew is at the bar playing cards with Gaddes, the bartender, while the "YMCA" is being played on an old-fashioned western player piano when Folken shows up. Gaddes, looks up from his Strip Old Maid hand, and looks to Folken. He says in a western accent, all serious-like, "so, you've come back, huh?"

"For you?" Folken asks, suppressing a laugh. "Hardly. I came to see Allen about...."

"OOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!" cry the excited crcrewmembers throwing down their intense card game. "Allen has a boyfriend! Allen has a boyfriend!" The ruthless chanting goes on and on.

"No. Actually I'm quite straight. Unlike you.... what the A-Crew? I think it's more like the GAY crew!" Folken laughs at his own joke hysterically, while the insane chanting carries on.

Through all of the noise, Allen enters from the bedroom (there is only one) awakening from his beauty sleep - at three in the afternoon. He leans on the doorframe and watches the events as the A-Crew stop singing and listen to Folken.

Folken continues, "Anyway I came for some hair advice from Allen, the man keeps his hair very well tamed, you see."

Allen clears his throat to let everyone know he's there and enters, wearing his nightshirt. Allen walks over, trying to look unimpressed that Folken was here, but really on the inside he was gleeful. "So, Folken. What can I do.... HEY IS THAT STRIP OLD MAID!!! That's my favourite!!" Folken slaps his forehead.

"Yeah boss. We'll deal you in."

"No! He has to deal with my hair!" interjects Folken.

One A-Crew member says with a lisp, "oh! Somebody's being greedy."

"I am not!" shouts Folken.

"Calm down. Calm down, there's plenty of me to go around!" Says Allen with a chuckle. He turns to Folken. "I'll play that game later. Right now, we have to work on your hair."

"Okay, I was thinking of doing something dif...."

"What do you think, boys? Does he need an organic experience?" The A-crew agrees wildly, and big smiles cross their faces.

"A what experience?" asks Folken, suddenly becoming extremely nervous.

"Tell me, Folken. Do you have the Urge?" Asks Allen, stalking menacingly towards him, his cronies not far behind.

"The urge to what, exactly?" Folken stammers, backing away only to be met by a chair pushed by one of the guys. Folken is forced to sit.

"Why, the urge to Herbal of course!" Allen laughed as if there were no other explanation. They all break into song, excepting Folken, of course.

"He's got the urge to Herbal. Natural Botanical. Folken wants to herbal in the shower, for another half an hour! He's got the urge!"

By now, Folken is getting into it, the exhilarating natural feel of this new shampoo and conditioner, that he's never before experienced. After all of the singing, dancing and washing Folken's hair was over, Allen asks, "What did you think? Like the Organic Experience?"

"Yeah! Where can I get this shampoo and conditioner?" Folken asked him.

"Forget that! It's time for the body wash!" cries Gaddes.

"What?!" screams Folken.

"Get him." Says one of the men.

"Allen! Help me!" Folken cries. But Allen does nothing. "Nooooooooooooo!"

"AHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screams Folken, terrified.

"Trust us! You'll feel so much better after your body wash!" said one guy.

Suddenly, the swinging saloon doors burst open with a crash. Everyone in the room becomes silent. Three figures are cast in shadows at the entrance. Classic bad-guy-entering-the-saloon western suspense music plays.

"Unhand that man, ya yella-bellied, lily-livered desert hogs!" Yelled Joanna. Fortunately, three super heroes heard Folken's pleas for help. Amanda, Julie, and Joanna donned their super hero outfits; masks and skin-tight cat suits. Amanda is in metallic-pink, Julie is metallic-blue, and Joanna is metallic-green.

"Who are you?" asks Allen.

"We're the Fugitive Four, crime fighting Super Heroes who used to be criminal masterminds like yourselves." Says Julie with a wink, and a cute pose.

"We know what your angle is, and you are doing wrong!" Exclaims Amanda.

"You are going to pay! NOW!" Growls Joanna.

"Fugitive.... Four?" Asks one member.

"I count three." Puts in another.

"Yeah." Says Folken.

"SHUT UP!" All three girls say together. "You are ruining our intro!"

"One of us couldn't make it!"

"But," protested Allen "We are not criminal Masterminds!"

"SILENCE!!"

"I'm Falcon!" Says Julie

"I'm Fox!" Says Amanda

"And I'm Frog!" Says Joanna.

"And we're the Fugitive Four!" Say all three.

"You will release Folken from your grips, give him back his clothes..." starts Julie...

...while Joanna finishes, "Or we will unleash our awesome powers!"

They let him go in awe, and toss his clothes to Amanda. Folken runs to the three girls, relieved to see some females. "Thank you, Fugitive Four! Thank you!"

"No need to thank us, we're just doing a good deed!" says Amanda. She looks to Allen, and wiggled her fingers in hello. Allen smiles and waved back to her.

"Now!" says Julie. "We're here ta clean up this desert town, mark my words. I'm the new sheriff of this here town, and these are my deputies. There will be no breakin' of the law in my town from this day forth." The Fugitive Four were met with a respectable cheer from the crowd at the Lusty Knight's Saloon.

Narrator: And so, with the new sheriff in town, it seemed as if the law would never be broken again. But there was some serious crimes happening, and Sheriff Falcon and Deputy Frog, and Deputy Fox, would have to get to the bottom of this.