Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Assasins Anonymous ❯ Chapter 1

 

 

Crawford sighed heavily as he sorted through the mail. Bill, bill, bill, excellent: a check, bill, Daggers Monthly: for Farf. Music Maniac magazine for Nagi. Plain brown wrapped package for him. Weird. Hmmm. Heavy parchment with a wax seal on it for Schuldig. Really weird. He was frankly amazed that the seal had managed to survive the postal service. Yet it was still there, what seemed to be a paw print stamped into red wax.

 

“Is that the mail?” came Farf's voice over his left shoulder.

 

“Yes. This one is yours,” he said, handing him the periodical.

 

Farf sighed blissfully. “Ah, wonderful, I've been waiting on this,” he said and wandered off to find a pen to fill out the order form. “They have new stilettos I want to try.”

 

Nagi peered around the corner of the doorway. “Anything for me?”

 

“Magazine,” Crawford said, holding it up.

 

The book floated out of Crawford's hand, following Nagi back into the living room.

 

Schuldig staggered downstairs a few moments later. Yawning widely behind one hand and stretching. He was wearing Crawford's new bathrobe and nothing else.

 

“Morning, Bradley,” Schuldig said, yawning again and trying to focus.

 

“It's three in the afternoon,” Crawford pointed out.

 

“And?” Schuldig said, smirking mildly.

 

“Here, this is yours,” Crawford said, handing him the parchment envelope.

 

“What the fu . . . Scheisse!” he said, eyes widening. “Farf! Gimme a knife.”

 

Crawford's eyebrows drew together worriedly for a moment and Nagi once again leaned around the living room doorway to see what was happening.

 

Schuldig held the envelope up for him to look at.

 

“See?”

 

“See what?”

 

“The insignia,” Schuldig said pointing to the embossed black, silver and red insignia of two A's made up of crossed swords just above the wax seal. “Assassins Anonymous. It's from one of our girls.”

 

Schuldig barely flinched as a dagger thunked into the wall near his head. He pulled it out of the paneling and carefully pried the seal from the letter. He read quickly, then turned and started back up the stairs.

 

“Schuldig?”

 

“Pack, Brad-chan,” Schuldig said over his shoulder. “We're heading to your home country.”

 

“What the hell for?”

 

“Phoenix needs us.”

 

“Phoenix? Phoenix? The one who has more knives than Farf? The one who has manacles and torture equipment? The one who has training in poisons and toxicology? She with the big frigging scary dragon in the basement? That Phoenix needs us?”

 

“Afraid?” Schuldig smirked.

 

“If it's something she can't handle, I shudder to think what's going on.”

 

“Hellish co-worker. I can empathize. She can't kill her herself or it would be suspicious. She needs to be clear of it and needs alibis. Start packing,” Schuldig said, turning his back on him and starting up the stairs again.

 

Crawford sighed a little and opened the package that was addressed to him.

 

“Schuldig! Why do I have a years subscription to Anal Retentive Magazine?”

 

“I would have thought that was obvious,” Schuldig said with a smirk. “If we stuffed a lump of coal up your ass we'd have a diamond in less than a week.”

 

******************************Author's Notes********************************

Blame KD for this one. It was in response to her Mail challenge.