Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Find A Way Back To Your Heart ❯ Perception ( Chapter 4 )

Find A Way Back To Your Heart

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : They're not mine. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

Warnings : OCC, Yaoi, Angst, supernatural stuff.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts or that little voice inside your head.

Not that anyone cares but I seriously hate the word pyjamas! *ARGH* No matter how many times I type it I think I get the spelling wrong and have to look it up only to realize that it's spelled correctly but still looks weird. *mutters darkly*

Chapter 4. Perception

The lanky glared at the snow that swirled around outside. He was NOT going to enjoy walking home in that. His eyes wandered from the window until the caught the sight of Omi. Yoji swallowed and felt how his heart pulled at him, pleaded that he'd move closer.

He couldn't do that though, he wasn't allowed to. Omi wanted nothing to do with him, could barely stand to be in the same room as him anymore. The petit blonde sent out signals that confused Yoji to no end. Fear, dislike and anger he could understand but in those large blue eyes he could also see longing, sadness and strangely enough… love.

That shouldn't be there though because Omi didn't know who he was. With a sigh the tall blonde dragged his eyes away from the young man who had used to be his lover and went back to staring into the snow. It was snowing even harder now and the wind had picked up.

"I don't think you should go out in that," a voice said from behind and he jumped slightly.

"I'll be fine Ken," Yoji sighed and continued to watch the ground being covered in white. It wasn't like it was going to kill him after all. He let out a harsh laugh and wondered if he was going to start crying.

When he was alive he had never felt this way, like he just wanted to break down and cry his heart out. He had always been cocky, driven and flirty but now… now he was just lost and lonely.

"You haven't been fine since the day you walked through that door," Ken muttered and looked at him with one eyebrow raised, daring him to argue.

"It would probably have been better if I never had come back," Yoji sighed so quietly that the brunette didn't hear him. Brown eyes studied him for a long time and their owner seemed to be concentrating very hard.

"I can't put my finger on it and I don't know why I can't let it go… but there's something about you, the way you act, what you told me all those weeks ago, the way you look at Omi… You're hiding something Yoji," Ken suddenly said with his voice low and slightly annoyed.

The blonde winced and stared at his friend and former team-mate. Ken wasn't suppose to think like that, was he?

"Uh, I don't know what you're talking about." The brunette snorted softly and frowned.

"I'm not the only one who noticed. Aya asked me about it the other night. And then there's this feeling I have that I know you even though both me and Aya agreed that we'd never seen you before that day. You remind me of someone." Yoji swallowed and blinked. "I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I will get to the bottom of this Yoji." Ken glared a little at him before he turned around and walked away.

What the hell was that?! Aslan had said that they wouldn't know who he really was and still Ken was talking like he had a hunch. That couldn't be good? Yoji frowned and sighed deeply. What was going to happen if Ken figured out who he was? He didn't even want to know! The door opened and Yoji forced a smile on his tired face.

"How can I…" His words died out when he stared into a pair of eyes that he never had expected to see there, wished he had never seen in the first place.

"We need to talk my friend," the tall man said softly and set his almost white eyes on the blonde. "Things have gotten complicated."

"I haven't broken our deal Aslan!" Yoji said harshly and glanced over his shoulder.

"No you have not but I did not count on these people to be so perceptive. The one called Ken is close to figuring out who you really are and his lover is not far behind." Green eyes widened.

"Lover? What lover?" Aslan smiled and shook his head.

"Ah so they are the perceptive ones I see. Did you not know that Ken and the man called Aya are lovers?" Yoji blinked.

"You're kidding me, ne?"

"I am not. I guess you could say that your death brought them together. It is not unusual that a tragedy forces people to come clean about what they feel. Aya is a stubborn man but losing a dear friend gave him the final push needed. This is the way fate works my friend. Nothing ever happens without a reason. You could say that the man who killed you was born to do that, if he had not then Ken and Aya would never have found each other," Aslan explained as he watched the redhead scowl at a young girl who clung to his apron.

"Cute! Don't get me wrong I'm happy for them but fuck! The only way to get those two together was to kill me and destroy Omi in the process? Fuck that!" Yoji spat out with anger and glared at the angel.

"Life is not fair and neither is death. We are nothing more than pawns in the game of life my friend. Do you seriously think that you are the only one who ever felt that death wronged you?" The blonde snorted.

"I don't give a shit about others! The only one who counts here is Omi, he didn't deserve this!"

"No he did not but we cannot change that, at least we should not be able to." Yoji watched the angel for a long time before he spoke again.

"Well that doesn't matter, now does it? You've seen Omi and that should tell you that he's not going to be fine!" Aslan let out a low rumble of laughter as his strange eyes turned to meet Yoji's.

"Is that so? He does not know who you are, does he?" The blonde shook his head sadly. "And yet he is drawn to you, he is having feelings for you. That tells me that he will be alright, that he will move on." Aslan placed a slender hand on Yoji's shoulder before he turned around and left.

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw," Yoji muttered in anger and banged his fist against the wall.

"A friend of yours?" a stoic voice said and the blonde jumped for the second time that day.

"Aya. Uh no, not really more like a… a major pain in my ass," Yoji answered dryly and scowled.

"Aa." Well at least Aya was the same charming man as always. "The wind's picking up." They both looked outside, where the snow was whipping everything in its way.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I really don't think you should go out in that," Ken said for the third time as they closed the shop. Yoji shrugged just like he had the other times. A little snow storm wouldn't stop him and besides, he really needed to get away from Omi, away from all the things he didn't have anymore. And wouldn't ever have again, according to Aslan. Damn angel!

Yoji scowled. Couldn't Aslan see that there was something more to, whatever feelings it was Omi were having? The little blonde was in no way over his lover's death, Yoji could see it in his eyes, so this was something else. But what? Tiredly he rubbed his face. He needed to sleep on it.

"They're telling people to stay indoors," Aya said as he entered the shop, apron in his hand. "And the power will most likely go in a few hours."

"Kuso! I better head out then," Yoji muttered and headed towards his coat.

"Not so fast!"

"What Ken?" The brunette's stubborn eyes were locked on his face. "You're not going to let me go home, are you?" It wasn't really a question but Ken shook his head anyway and smiled a little.

"Ken's right, it could be dangerous. It's better that you just stay here, you can sleep in the empty bedroom upstairs," Aya said as he started to turn off the lights. "Ken can show you."

Oh great, Yoji groaned inside, now I have to sleep in my own fucking bedroom. The last time he had slept there had been the night before the accident and then he had fallen asleep and woken up with Omi in his arms.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aya had been right, the power was gone and the only light in Yoji's bedroom came from a candle. With the snow storm howling outside he paced back and forth. Sleeping was not really an option and he just wanted the night to be over. Yoji stopped and sadly looked at the bed where the ghostly memories of happier times lingered.

He could almost see Omi there, wide blue eyes glaced over with pleasure, skin damn from sweat, soft words of love whispered in sleepy murmures. That was all gone now. Yoji swallowed against the sobs that wanted to escape him. Someone had once told him that the bad memories weren't the ones that hurt to remember, it was the good ones. He had snorted at that but now he realized it was true.

Wearily the lanky blonde sat down on the edge of the bed and lit a cigarette. 2 am and way too many hours left until the night would be gone and with it hopefully the storm. He needed to get the hell away from there! A deep sigh left him. Getting away was out of the question though, wasn't it?

He was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he left he wouldn't get to see Omi and he needed that. If he stayed he would see his former lover but live with the sadness and despair in his eyes. It was a no win situation and soon enough he would be forced to leave forever. A quiet creak caused him to drop his forgotten cigarette and he grumbled softly as he bent down to pick it up.

"Yotan." Yoji froze and his heart started beating like a drum. Very slowly he turned around and stared. Omi stood in the door way, cald in his pyjamas, eyes closed. He seemed to still be asleep. The short blonde shuffled his way inside and crawled into bed.

"Omi?" Yoji asked in confusion and watched his former lover reach out for him, frowning when he only struck bare sheets.

"Yotan I'm cold," he muttered groggily. "Warm me." Shocked and unable to stop himself Yoji slid inbetween the sheets. Immediately Omi snuggled up to him with a contented sigh and all Yoji could do was hug him and let the tears fall. The world really was a cruel place, even for a dead person as himself.

~TBC~

I have no idea where this is going anymore but we'll see… *sighs* Ja/Atsureki