Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Losing the Battle ❯ Losing the Battle ( Chapter 1 )

Losing The Battle

Pairing: Aya x Yohji x Aya

Rated: Pg

Warnings: Implied Yaoi. Not to mention it’s a little depressing.

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don’t own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously…

Author notes: Hey guys! I just thought I'd post something to keep you entertained while I fight with my busy schedule and residual writer's block. Umm... let's see, I wrote this piece a long time ago because the idea of Ran going insane has always appealed to me. This is actually apart of a series of fics that I will throw up while you're waiting for TDTOYL chapters. I hope you like it, though keep in mind... it gets pretty dark as the shorts go on. Anyway! Enjoy and tell me what you think, na?

Feedback: PLEASE!!! I’m a feedback whore.

Thanks to: My readers –you tend to make my day so much brighter.

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No matter how I scream, my voice never reaches him.

His world only sees and hears what it wants to and most of the time that has nothing to do with me. I've tried so hard to get through to him but it's only blown up in my face and I'm losing this battle and I'm losing my baby and there is nothing I can do that I haven't already done. I'm tired of fighting, tired of turning my heart as black and blue as the rest of my body. Tired of saving a person who doesn't want to be saved.

I'm drowning myself in this hopeless love and it seems that desperation is the only thing that has kept me afloat. Yes, I AM desperate. I can't just give up on him... I can't just leave him to die like he wants me to. He's lost his mind again and I have to be the party responsible -the one to clean up the mess that he makes as he goes stark raving mad through the streets of our lives.

I never wanted this. I never wanted the fighting, I never wanted the hurting, I never wanted the... love, but I wasn't strong enough to stop it and I'm not strong enough to fight him because he has a will of iron and I have only my broken dreams. I don't know what he's expecting from me but I hope he knows that I have nothing left to give him. I have nothing left to show because all of me is on the shelf for all of him to view and tell me what's wrong and what's right in this fucked up play we've been living.

I'm sure I don't know who's crazier - him for pushing me away or me for insisting that I stay but either way I suppose it doesn't matter because I'm watching him slip right between my fingers like fine grains of sand. For each day that passes he's even more consumed by his need for revenge and even less concerned with his life on a whole. It's like watching a movie go horribly wrong... you can scream all you want but there's nothing you can do to change the events that are about to pass.

And I hate this feeling of hopelessness. I hate what we've become.

So, Aya, please forgive me -I was wrong about us.

And, God, please forgive me -I'm in love with him still.