Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Mend my Heart ❯ Questions and Discovery ( Chapter 14 )

The three in the room were dumbfounded for a moment after Kase’s abrupt exit. At last Omi voiced the one question that kept cycling through his mind. "What was that supposed to mean?"

Ran gave the blonde a weary glare. One he hoped would convey his request to discuss this later. He was still angry and annoyed about the confrontation, but he also had a very good idea of what Kase had meant. In his excitement with having Ken awake, he neglected to tell the florist about the phone call he received the day before. However, he felt now was not the time to discuss this. He didn't want to upset Ken any further. Of course, he needn't have worried.

Ken had been staring down at the open palms on his lap, looking as if he expected to see something there. "Maybe, he's right." The brunette mumbled. "You should leave while you can."

Gruffly, the redhead responded. "It's already too late for that." His two companions both looked up at him expectantly.

"But…. Why would you think that? I mean, nobody should even know you're here, right?"

"Yesterday," he began looking pointedly at the florist now, "After I made my calls, someone contacted me. They told me to stop looking into Ken's accident."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Omi asked, appearing rather disturbed by the news.

"I was distracted." His gaze flickered over to the brunette. Ken's eyes had narrowed and his frown had deepened.

"They threatened you, didn't they?" The soccer player said more as a statement rather than a question. His voice low and serious. "You're family?"

At this Ran was surprised. How could Ken have known about that, unless……

Ken’s gaze dropped back down to his lap, where his hands had curled up into tight fists.  "Bastards. I'm sorry."

"Who?" Omi was completely lost.

Suddenly, Ken stiffened as he realized he said too much.  His response was very quiet but it also clearly meant he wasn’t about to divulge that information yet. "I'm tired."

Confused, Omi looked to Ran for answers. Unfortunately, he didn't really know any more than Omi did. But Ken's comments now had him questioning. "Ken, do you know who called me?"  He asked tentatively.

"I'm not positive." The brunette muttered then repeated, "I'm tired." Lying back down, he curled up slightly on his side again and closed his eyes.

The other two looked at each other concerned. Omi carefully stood. "Go ahead and rest, Ken-kun. Don't worry, at least one of us will be here when you wake." Ken's nod was so slight one might have missed it if they weren't looking. The blonde then turned to Ran and motioned for them to step outside.

As soon as they were in the hall and the door was shut, Omi questioned the redhead, "Now, can you please tell what is going on?"

Ran frowned.  "I’m not even sure anymore."

"Just tell me about this phone call." He glanced at his watch. "On second thought, tell me while we head to the cafeteria. I need to grab something for lunch and you should too." He started walking toward the elevator.

Ran merely followed. "There’s not really all that much to tell. I finished making my calls in the morning. Then while I was at lunch, someone called me.”  Of course he neglected to mention that they called him by his sister’s name and not his real one.  So he gathered that they found out who he was from the calls.   “I wasn’t sure if it was you or Yoji so I picked up. They told me to stop snooping if I knew what was good for me, more or less. And then they hung up." He shrugged.

"Aya, this is serious. And there’s obviously a lot more going on here than we realize." Ran had to stop himself before saying something that might be considered rude. The words ‘really?’ and ‘you think?’ were at the tip of his tongue. Complete with heavy sarcasm. Fortunately, Omi continued on none the wiser. "I should probably contact Yoji right away to let him know what’s going on. For the moment, we should follow Kase’s advice."

"I don’t trust him.”  The redhead’s frown deepened.  “He may not know exactly what happened but he knows more than he’s letting on about that night."

"I got that feeling too.”  Omi nodded.  “It’s like he didn’t know how to answer at first but then fell into a practiced routine."

Ran agreed. "Of course this now leaves us with even less to work with."

"That’s for certain.” Sigh.  “And with Ken’s mental block, who knows if we’ll ever find out the truth."

"We have to. For his sake." When Omi glanced at him side long, Ran added, "Well, I just get this feeling that it will tear him apart not to know.  If nothing else, we have to stop those panic attacks.  To live like that…. He doesn’t deserve it."

Omi nodded. "I feel sorry for Ken-kun. I’ve heard about them but I can’t imagine having one."

"I had one once. After,…." Ran refused to dredge up those memories yet. "They aren’t fun. Fortunately for me, it didn’t develop into a recurring problem.  Ken’s not so lucky."

Curious now, the younger boy inquired, "Is that how you knew what to do?"

"Yeah. The nurse helped me through it and told me what to do in case I had another. But when it happened to Ken though it was the first time I had ever seen it happen to someone else. I didn’t even realize he was having one until the nurse said it. After that I knew what I needed to do."

"Oh." They paid for the items they picked up in the line. "Listen, I have to get back to the shop. I kinda just abandoned Momoe all by herself without an explanation. I’ll be back after I close the shop. Do you think you’ll still be here?" Ran nodded. "Good, then I’ll see you later."

The redhead took the few items he purchased back to the elevator and made his way back to Ken’s room. There he resolved to wait. After all, he had quite a lot to think about at the moment. He finished his sparse lunch quickly then drifted off with his wayward thoughts.

Only about an hour later, he was roused from his stupor when he noticed Ken's breathing pattern had changed. He glanced over in time to see those beautiful sea-green depths flutter open. Ken's gaze landed on him fairly quickly this time. "Are you feeling any better now?" Ran asked.

Sitting up, Ken nodded. "Yeah." They were silent for a moment before he added, "I was kinda hoping you wouldn't be here though."

Feeling more than a little hurt, Ran said, "Do you no longer wish me to be here?"

"No!" Ken answered quickly, locking aquamarine with amethyst. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I was hoping you had left so you don't get involved anymore than you already are. I should handle this mess by myself. I don't want anyone hurt because of me." Suddenly a voice whispered in his mind, Otherswill suffer. Gasping at the sharp pain that followed, he croaked out, "no." His chest felt like it was getting squeezed in an invisible vise.  Eyes still bound to the gentle man beside him, he felt a tirade of emotions.  He didn’t want this person to suffer.  His heart began to race.  Couldn’t stand the thought of these kind people in pain.  He couldn't get a full breath. The image in front of him began to blur and twist.  Closing his eyes to stop the room from spinning, did nothing to quell the nausea.

And then, he heard Ran's deep voice cut through the chaos. "Ken, Look at me," he commanded. And all Ken could do was obey. "You need to focus. Breathe, follow me." Once again the redhead guided him through a number of deep breaths, slowly bringing his body back into order. "Good. You're doing great."

Gradually, Ken came back to his senses. The turbulent seas dropped, but not before Ran noticed the embarrassment in them. The brunette whispered, "Thank you."

He did his best to reassure the youth, patting the younger man’s shoulder. "It's ok."

But the brunette was feeling more than just embarrassment, more like a heated mix of anger, self-loathing and frustration.  "No, it's not. I can't live like this. Not knowing when the next one will come or why. I've already had - how many now - four? And I haven't even been awake for 24 hours yet.” His hands reflexively fisting and releasing. “To top it all, I'm a damned invalid. Just a burden to be pushed off on someone else. I mean, look at me. I'm useless."  He turned away, not wanting to see the look of pity he guessed would be on Ran’s face.

"Don't say such things, Ken-san.”  God how it hurt to see the lost look in those expressive sea-kissed eyes and he quickly worked to dispel it. “You can't expect to be 100% right away. Your body needs time to recover."

"What does it matter when my life's such a mess anyway?”  The brunette’s voice cracked, echoing the pain in his heart.  He ran a shaky hand through silken chocolate strands.  “I can't go back to the J-league. Kase doesn't want me. And who knows if these damn panic attacks will ever stop. I was probably better off in the coma, or better ye…."

"No!" Strong hands grabbed thin shoulders and shook him firmly to snap him out of his dark thoughts.  The tumultuous oceany depths peered up at the man confused.  "Don't you ever say that again. Don't you ever even think it. No one deserves to be trapped in an endless slumber. To be denied life - or death. We are meant to live. You are meant to live. Don't let this beat you down before you even give yourself the chance to start over. Everyone who loves you is counting on you. Don't give up. Don't ever give up." Ran trailed off as they continued to stare into each others eyes, searching.

They sat like that for a while. Then ever so softly, Ken spoke, "Who is Aya?" Ran tensed. Ken felt the grasp on his shoulders tighten and he could see a flash of pain in amethyst gems.  Something deep within himself drove him to find out what had caused his benefactor’s pain.  He had to know the truth.  "You said that you were visiting when you first found me. Were you visiting Aya? Is she close to you? Is that why you wanted to know if its possible to wake up?"

Ran was dumbfounded. He had no idea that Ken could put the pieces together so quickly and with such little information. And he was surprised at the guilty feeling that settled in his chest. For some reason, Kase's accusation that he was using Ken came to mind. Perhaps he had not used the young brunette for money as Kase claimed but as a means to deal with his sister's condition.  Was that the only reason? He wasn't sure. But he did feel he owed the young man an explanation and he would give it.

"She is my sister," he began softly, releasing Ken. "She was hit by a car the same night our parents were murdered. That was eight months ago. She has been in a coma and I have been by her side since that day."

"I'm sorry." He let the moment linger before he asked, "Why did you give her name to Kase?"

Ran sighed, feeling suddenly very weary.  "To tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure. When I first bumped into Omi, he reminded me a bit of my sister. I must have said her name out loud. And he assumed it was mine. I never corrected him because I never thought I would see him again. Little did I know."

"And that's it?"

"No, I just felt like it was the right name to give at the time. I decided that if she could no longer live the life she should, I would have to live for both of us. So I chose to take on her name."

"Then, what about me?"

Ran glanced at him curiously.  "What about you?"

"Why aren't you Aya with me?"

"Because I came to you before I chose to be Aya. And with you, I…” He stumbled for the right words to say.  “I don't want there to be… I want us to be - honest with each other. Aya and I could talk about anything to each other, we were that close. I don't exactly know how to explain it but I saw some of her in you."

"And you wanted to have that kind of relationship with me?"

Ran’s voice was soft, gentle as if lost in a memory. "I don't know. I don't know why I went into your room that night. I don't know why I went to your side. Or why I stayed. But I heard the pain in your voice and saw the desperation in your eyes and I couldn't move. All I knew was that I had to stay, I had to bring you back." For me - to me, the words remained unspoken. But he had the strange feeling that Ken understood what was left unsaid.

Ken sat there transfixed by the confession. He had never known someone to be so thoughtful, except maybe his mother - at least when she was rational enough. And here this perfect stranger had pulled him from the depths of darkness because he couldn't leave him alone with his pain despite the fact he had enough of his own.  And by god, he was never more grateful in his life. Somehow he managed a meek, "Thank you."

Broken from his trance but the humble words, Ran smiled and placed a hand on the goalie’s lap.  "It is probably I who should thank you. During the strain of these past 8 long months, you have given me my first ray of hope. So, thank you Ken-san, for giving me a reason to go on."

Ken couldn't help himself, he felt the swell of tears in his eyes and a warmth spread over him. He tried to keep his voice steady, "I told you before, it's just Ken." He smiled. Placing a hand over Ran's, he added encouragingly, "Don't give up on her. She hears you. I know, because I heard you too. She will come back to you, I know it."

"Thank you." The pair stared into each other's eyes lost for anymore words. The moment was interrupted when an orderly walked in carrying a tray followed by Nurse Kasumi. The orderly placed the tray down on rolling table next to Ken then left.

"You've been doing well, so I ordered you up some broth and jello. Just remember to take it slow, Hidaka-san." Kasumi announced cheerfully. "Makoto-sensai said that you will have your first physical therapy session this afternoon. So rest up and someone will be by later to take you down." She did her routine checks while she spoke then happily left them alone.

Ran automatically helped Ken situate himself enough to eat then rolled the tray in place. Lifting up the lid, he glanced down at the clear broth and commented, "Looks appetizing."

Ken glared at his guardian with a playful sparkle in his eye.  "Very funny. I have to eat that, you know."

"Aren't you the lucky one?"

"Ha, ha." Ken swallowed a spoonful and winced. "Blah! I know I should take things slowly but it's like eating hot water. I hope they have something better to offer for dinner."

The redhead had to suppress the laugh that threatened to come out.  "If you keep it all down, I'll make sure they give you something with sustenance, ok?"

"You better, I don't know how long I'd last on this stuff alone." Ran had sat back down and watched Ken. Glancing over, the former goalie blushed suddenly. "Um, did you want to get something to eat?" Proper manners left him feeling bad for eating in front of someone without offering.

Scarlet locks swayed as Ran shook his head.  "It's ok, I had something while you slept."

"Oh." Unhappily he swallowed down another gulp. "So, would I be out of line if I asked you to tell me about yourself? I mean, you seem to know a good deal about me and I would like to know who my saviour is."

"I think that's fair. What would you like to know?"

"Anything you’re willing to share. You like to read don't you?"

"Yes."

"Why do I seem to think that poetry is involved somehow?"

Ran smiled. "Because when I first started visiting you, I used to read you poetry from a book I have. It used to be one of the things my imouto and I used to do. I guess it was the only thing I could think of at the time to try."

Ken thought about it for a second, finally deciding, "Would it be all right if I read it sometime?"

"Of course."  It surprised the redhead to know the jock was interested in something as intellectual as poetry but it was not unwelcome.

"Thank you. So she liked poetry?" Ran began recalling old memories. Soon they started talking about all sorts of things, obviously feeling very comfortable in the other’s presence, only to be interrupted a few hours later when another nurse showed up to wheel Ken down to Therapy. Ran told him that he would meet him when he was finished. In the mean time, he went back to his beloved sister to resume his watch there.

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Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Had a lot more sappy moments in it that I meant to, but hey, you go with the flow, ne? 

Ken:  Oh you make it sound like it was a bad thing.  You know, it’s nice not being beaten or mentally tormented every second of a fic, now and then.

S-k:  That may be true but what fun would it be for us? Sorry, Kenken, -shrugs- you’re just too cute when you suffer.

Ken:  ARGH!  That’s not right!

Yoji:  You know, she has a point.  You are downright adorable like that.

Ken:  . – turns to glare at blonde in disbelief – Not you too, Yotan?

Omi: It’s true.  Even I’m sometimes hard pressed not to enjoy it.  –Kens jaw drops- Don’t you think so Aya?

Ran:  .  –Ken stares pleadingly at the redhead-  Hn.  Aa.  –Ken sinks to floor-

Ken:  I don’t believe it. –continually shakes his head baffled-  I just don’t believe it.  You mean to tell me no one gets upset when I suffer?  -crickets-

S-k: Uh.  –glances at the others then moves to crouch next to Ken-  You just can’t help it. You’re utterly irresistible when hurt and vulnerable.  –places hand comfortingly on brunette’s back-  Try and take solace in the fact that you please so many readers and friends because of it.  –Ken seems oblivious-  .  –S-k shrugs and gets up-  I guess he just needs a little time to cope with this.  So I guess I’ll see everyone next week.  Oh and don’t forget, reviews keep my muse alive and working!  Thanks again for reading! . :D