Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Surrounded By Darkness ❯ Prologue ( Prologue )

Surrounded By Darkness

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : This fic wouldn't be here if I owned them! The poem at the end is mine so don't steal. Um not that anyone would want my crappy poetry *laffs*

Warnings : OCC, yaoi, angst.

Pairing : Yoji/Ken

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts. (This fic was known as When Darkness Is Upon Me but I changed the title after ff.net ¤&#"#"% me over *sweet smile*)

Prologue

It's so scary when… I wish I could… No, I'm not going to think about that now, I just can't. I don't know how I'm suppose to live like this, I don't know if I can. My actions seems to have crippled your feelings for me and it hurts so much. All I was trying to do was protect you. I know you blame me for the things that went wrong and what can I say? It was and is my fault, I know that.

But even so you have to know that it's better this way. If I hadn't done what I did you would have been dead and that would be so much worse, wouldn't it? Please just tell me that you think it's better this way? What would you have wanted me to do instead? Let you die right infront of my eyes? No, I love you too much for that, hell even if I didn't love you I wouldn't have been able to let that happen and you know it!

So why do you keep punishing me? Don't you think I suffer enough as it is? Because I do. I suffer because I hurt you even though I didn't mean to. Please believe me, I never meant to hurt you by…

I just don't understand how you work sometimes. You're moving away from me, from us because of something that neither one of us can change. I know it's hard, but how can this situation be harder on you than it is on me? I'm the one who has to live like this, not you. Of course I understand that it's difficult for you to see me like this but I am alive and I would be happy if you just would love me again. Please?

I feel so unsafe, so left out, so disconnected from the real world. This new world is so cold, empty and dark. I have my memories from the other world but memories are designed to fade and mine are doing just that. I'm begging you not to dwell on it any longer because it's killing me. I messed up, I know I did but you weren't hurt and I was instead. That's the way it should be. The mistake was made by me and I am paying for it but you keep making me pay more, more than I can handle.

It's so scary when darkness is upon me. I wish I could just see your face again. And please believe me, I never meant to hurt you by taking a bullet in the head. I am sorry that I didn't pay attention, that I didn't see that last guard but didn't I at least repay you a little when I threw myself between you and that bullet? Isn't the punishment I got enough? Do you blame me for loving you so much? Does my blindness make you incapable of loving me?

I don't understand. And I can no longer search your eyes for the answer. My eyes can't see you anymore and I'm afraid that soon my heart won't be able to feel you anymore because you've gone so far away… This is getting me nowhere. I should just give up and let you go away because I think that's what you want but…

What do I have left if I let you go? What do I hold on to? I can't see, I am blind but why did my blindness wreck everything between us? I don't understand, I really don't. Please explain why you treat me like this because I can't figure it out on my own. I wish I could write these thoughts down but as we both know I can't write anymore, I can't read, I can't even leave my room without falling flat on my face.

If you ever feel like talking you know where to find me, I'll always be waiting, waiting for you to turn around and see that I'm still here and I'm still me even though I can't see you anymore…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. It was difficult for him to pay attention to his work but it didn't really matter. His team-mates had taken down the last guards and he had himself finished off the target so he could spare himself the luxery of staring at his lover while they waited for the others to join them. There was something extremely thrilling about watching that man in full assassin mode.

A sound made him swirl around and the smile on his face died. There was a guard standing there. He didn't understand, all the guards were suppose to be dead. An arrow was sticking out from the man's chest and he had blood trickling down his chin. The wounded and most likely dying guard raised his hand holding a gun.

"YOJI MOVE!" he yelled and threw himself forward. The lanky blonde was completey unprotected on the other side of the room and he wouldn't be able to duck a bullet. A shot went off and he dove forward not caring if it hit him as long as it didn't hit his lover.

The pain was like a flash of lightning and his head jerked to the side from the impact before his body hit the floor. Moments later he couldn't feel anything except numbness. It felt like someone had shoved his head into a pit in the ground. Everything was dark, black. A scream was heard and then a loud thud.

"KEN!" He tried to sit up but he couldn't move. "Don't move baby, don't move." Something was pressed against his head. "Call an ambulance! NOW!"

"What's wrong?" a soft voice asked filled with concern.

"The guard. Ken's been hit. Oh dear God there's blood everywhere. He shot him in the head. Just hurry please." He wanted to tell Yoji that he was okay but he couldn't quite gather himself enough to actually speak. "Ken? Hang on baby, just please hang on."

"The ambulance is on its way," a deep smooth voice said from somewhere behind him. "No Yoji don't try to move him."

"Aya is he gonna be okay?"

"I don't know, I don't know." A hand grabbed his and that was the last thing he felt before the pit his head was already in swallowed him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everything was dark. There wasn't a any light what so ever and it scared him. He whimpered and desperatly tried to see through the blackness that surrounded him. Panic rushed through him when it didn't work and he jerked back and forth in a feeble attempt to get away.

"Try to stay still Hidaka-san," a female voice mumbled and hands pushed him back. "Doctor Ishikawa!?" He heard someone come closer but he couldn't see anything.

"Ah he's awake," a calm voice said and more hands were placed on him. "Hidaka-san you have to lie still!" He didn't want to lie still he wanted to get out of the darkness!

"Ken?" He knew that voice and he reached out his hand after its owner. "Calm down." Familier fingers wrapped around his and squeezed. "Sch calm down, I'm right here." Yoji, his confused mind decided and he relaxed slightly. He wasn't alone Yoji was there to protect him.

"I can't see," he whimpered.

"I know, your eyes are covered with bandages. Just please calm down Ken." The brunette swallowed and did as he was told. As soon as the panic subsided the pain took over. His head felt like it had been split opened.

"Kudou-san you have to leave," the voice that he understood belonged to Doctor Ishikawa said flatly.

"NO! Yoji don't leave me I'm scared."

"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere." Even though Ken couldn't see he knew that his lover was glaring at the doctor. "I'm right here."

"You really shouldn't be in here!"

"I don't give a fuck! He's scared and I'm not leaving him!"

"Fine! You can stay as long as you keep him calm. If he has another fit I'll have no other choice than to sedate him again." Someone left the room but Yoji was still holding his hand.

"Bastard!" the lanky blonde growled sourly and held his lover's hand tighter.

"What happened?" Ken asked quietly and tried to push aside the pain.

"You don't remember? Ken you were shot in the head during a mission," Yoji mumbled but his voice sounded so very strange.

"Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?" Soft fingers caressed his cheek.

"I'm fine Ken. You threw yourself between the bullet and me." It was quiet for a while but he knew that Yoji had something more to say. "Ken there's something I have to tell you."

"What? Are Omi and Aya okay? Oh God they're not hurt are they?" Panic started to rise inside of him again.

"No they're fine, this is about you Ken. Doctor Ishikawa had to remove the bullet from you head and he… Ken… they don't think you'll ever be able to see again."

Hold me close
Protect me
Love me
Please don't leave me
Be my eyes
Be my light
And please just hold me
I'm scared and I need you
I need you to be my light
Be my light, when darkness is upon me

~TBC~

I just had to write myself a Yoji/Ken fic *chuckles* And this idea popped into my head late last night when I couldn't sleep. So we have a blind Ken and something that's wrong with Yoji. Want to find out what and stuff? Well then ppl you know what to do, ne? Ja/Atsureki