Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ To Be ❯ To Be ( One-Shot )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: femmedelalune 
Crawford and Schuldig start flinging insults at each other during a routine assassination. A _very_ random BradSchu short with a minor twist. Went down much better on FF.N than I ever expected it to!
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 07.02.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 507 | Visits: 745 | Status: Completed
Crawford and Schuldig start flinging insults at each other during a routine assassination. A _very_ random BradSchu short with a minor twist. Went down much better on FF.N than I ever expected it to!
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 07.02.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 507 | Visits: 745 | Status: Completed
To Be
The jaded entrepreneur gave the two assassins a level stare. He didn't care that they'd come to kill him. "I suppose you're about to make some clichéd remark about how you walk the line between life and death?" he asked with a cynically raised eyebrow.
"Liebhaber, I am the line between life and death. I am the newborn babe and the dying man. I am the dream that hovers on the edge of conscious and the nightmare that drives you from sleep. I am the stork and the skeleton. I am- "
"Melodramatic?"
Schuldig stuttered to a stop. "You bastard!" he spat. "You ruined it!"
Crawford gave a conciliatory nod, the smirk betraying his attempt to humour his younger teammate.
"Arshloch," Schuldig growled. "You always go out of your way to make my life a living hell."
"I don't," Crawford rebuked him snidely. "If you could be just a little more professional-"
"Professional!? When was the last time I failed a hit, or got the wrong guy? I seem to recall some nasty business with those identical twins a while back. Your visions didn't save you from that blunder."
"I wasn't the one who killed the boss's daughter."
"You always bring that up! It. Wasn't. Me." Schuldig started to stalk towards Crawford. "Farfarello killed the bitch, not me. Farfarello let Weiss get away, not me. Farfarello-"
"Shouldn't even have been there," Crawford pointed out. "You just can't accept that you might possibly be to blame for that little incident, can you? Can't accept that you deserved that punishment."
"And who was it planned the ascension? Who failed to see that Weiss would be so bloody inconvenient?" Schuldig stood nose to mouth with Crawford, his hair stinging the older man's eyes. "If I wasn't around Rosenkreuz would have killed us months ago, and you know it."
Crawford did, but he couldn't back down now. "At least I don't resort to spouting clichéd epigrams like some poetical Bond villain."
"I've got to get my kicks somehow, haven't I? Of course, you wouldn't know, what with never having a fun atom in your body." Schuldig grimaced inwardly. The faster the insults flew, the more inane they got. "You've got that stick jammed so far up your arse I'm surprised you can bend over."
"You seem to do nothing but for most people you meet."
"Oh, that was low."
"You've sunk lower," Crawford raised an eyebrow. "I recall a peculiar fondness for 'going down'."
"At least I'm on top."
"You're an uke?"
"You're still here?" both assassins stared at the young man.
"You're in front of the door," he said by way of awkward explanation.
"You're next to a window," Schuldig pointed out, clearly not impressed. He shot the guy.
"Chinese or Italian?" Crawford asked as they walked out of the building.
"There's that new Thai place down the road."
"Okay. You're paying though."
"Why me?" Crawford gave him a look. "Okay, fine, but when we get home I expect gratuitous sex."
"Great minds think alike."
The jaded entrepreneur gave the two assassins a level stare. He didn't care that they'd come to kill him. "I suppose you're about to make some clichéd remark about how you walk the line between life and death?" he asked with a cynically raised eyebrow.
"Liebhaber, I am the line between life and death. I am the newborn babe and the dying man. I am the dream that hovers on the edge of conscious and the nightmare that drives you from sleep. I am the stork and the skeleton. I am- "
"Melodramatic?"
Schuldig stuttered to a stop. "You bastard!" he spat. "You ruined it!"
Crawford gave a conciliatory nod, the smirk betraying his attempt to humour his younger teammate.
"Arshloch," Schuldig growled. "You always go out of your way to make my life a living hell."
"I don't," Crawford rebuked him snidely. "If you could be just a little more professional-"
"Professional!? When was the last time I failed a hit, or got the wrong guy? I seem to recall some nasty business with those identical twins a while back. Your visions didn't save you from that blunder."
"I wasn't the one who killed the boss's daughter."
"You always bring that up! It. Wasn't. Me." Schuldig started to stalk towards Crawford. "Farfarello killed the bitch, not me. Farfarello let Weiss get away, not me. Farfarello-"
"Shouldn't even have been there," Crawford pointed out. "You just can't accept that you might possibly be to blame for that little incident, can you? Can't accept that you deserved that punishment."
"And who was it planned the ascension? Who failed to see that Weiss would be so bloody inconvenient?" Schuldig stood nose to mouth with Crawford, his hair stinging the older man's eyes. "If I wasn't around Rosenkreuz would have killed us months ago, and you know it."
Crawford did, but he couldn't back down now. "At least I don't resort to spouting clichéd epigrams like some poetical Bond villain."
"I've got to get my kicks somehow, haven't I? Of course, you wouldn't know, what with never having a fun atom in your body." Schuldig grimaced inwardly. The faster the insults flew, the more inane they got. "You've got that stick jammed so far up your arse I'm surprised you can bend over."
"You seem to do nothing but for most people you meet."
"Oh, that was low."
"You've sunk lower," Crawford raised an eyebrow. "I recall a peculiar fondness for 'going down'."
"At least I'm on top."
"You're an uke?"
"You're still here?" both assassins stared at the young man.
"You're in front of the door," he said by way of awkward explanation.
"You're next to a window," Schuldig pointed out, clearly not impressed. He shot the guy.
"Chinese or Italian?" Crawford asked as they walked out of the building.
"There's that new Thai place down the road."
"Okay. You're paying though."
"Why me?" Crawford gave him a look. "Okay, fine, but when we get home I expect gratuitous sex."
"Great minds think alike."