Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Conversation Hearts ❯ Conversation Hearts ( One-Shot )

Author: ShinigamiNC17

Genre: oh god…I wrote a fluffy piece of comedic romancy crap…help….me…

Pairings: you know what…you read and you find out. No matter, it's funny ^__^

Rating: PG-13 for language…

Disclaimers: yeah, guess what, I *still* do not own Yami No Matsuei or it's characters or plot or ANYTHING to do with it. And I don't own conversation hearts, pervy ones or regular ones. Not even sure if the pervy ones exist but I'll cover my ass anyway…and if someone finds some…let me know I'd really like to get my hands on them.

Summary: Tsuzuki gets a present and well…yeah, hilarity ensues.

Conversation Hearts

Tsuzuki was a fan of Valentine's Day for one reason only: The Candy. Nothing like a holiday created to celebrate love, but at the same time almost make the exchange of chocolates mandatory. Chocolate was most definitely not the only perk, there was always hard candy, and lollipops, and those little hearts with silly sayings on them. Those were actually his favorite. Only around Valentine's day could you get those.

So it was on this fateful Valentine's day that Tsuzuki opened his door and found a small package sitting outside. He instinctively bent down and picked it up. It was wrapped in shiny red paper and had a big pink bow on it. There was no card, and that was a little suspicious but Tsuzuki thought that maybe he just had a secret admirer or something.

He tugged the bow off and tore into the paper, still standing in his doorway. The package was very small and once he got all the paper off he found that it was a pack of those little hearts that he loved so much.

"Wow! I wonder who sent these…" he muttered turning the package over a few times in his hand looking for a card or name or something. Once again he found nothing. He checked the wrapping paper again and yet again-no card, note or name.

Tsuzuki shrugged, shut his door and walked towards the office. He put the conversation hearts in his pocket and decided to look at them all when he got to his desk. He loved reading them and seeing what they had to say.

As Tsuzuki walked away he didn't even notice footsteps stopping in front of his door. He just kept walking with one thing on his minds: Conversation Hearts.

It seemed like it took FOREVER to get to his office, but finally Tsuzuki was there. He walked in and sat down at his desk and pulled the conversation hearts that were practically burning a hole through his pocket. He tore them open and poured them out onto his desk and discarded the box to the side as he nonchalantly turned the hearts over so that all of the sayings were facing up and readable. Finally he had them all ready. Now, to find his favorite ones. He decided to find all the "be mine" one's first and so he started to scan through them.

Tsuzuki stopped dead in that endeavor when he caught site of what some of those said. The first one he read said, "kiss me." Which, wasn't that bad, but the second he read made him blush, "Let's Fuck." Tsuzuki stared. What had happened to his cute little candies? Maybe this was some misprint, or maybe he was reading them wrong. He looked through rest of the candies and found the following: "Lick Me," "Suck It," "Blow Me," On Your Knees," "Bend Over," "69," "Be Naughty," "Make Out," "Fuck Me," "Dirty Talk," "It's Lust," and "Tie me Up."

Tsuzuki gaped at the conversation hearts. Never had he ever seen such a thing. This was baffling. Someone had blasphemed his favorite candy…but…in an interesting way. While he wasn't thrilled over the idea of his favorite candy having such dirty things written on them, it was a little exciting. The only other thought that ran through his mind was: "who on earth, would send me these?"

Well, there was only one way to find out. He'd just have to go through all the people he knew and figure out why they'd give him these candies.

First there was Hisoka. Hisoka was his partner after all, and that was definitely a plausible reason why Hisoka would give him a gift. But, he could *not* see Hisoka being able to go up to a counter to actually buy those hearts without exploding from all the blood rushing his head and making him blush. Besides, Hisoka hadn't and never would be that straight forward. So, it could be concluded that it was not Hisoka.

Next Tatsumi. Tatsumi had been his old partner and was now his friend. Plus Tsuzkuki had known for a really really really really really long time (although he remained to appear oblivous) that Tatsumi had the hots for him, but was just too inhibited and afraid to admit his feelings. So, keeping with the grand Tatsumi tradition, maybe he did send the hearts but of course wouldn't leave his name. Then again, Tatsumi was way too straight laced to even go so far as to enter a shop that sold such things. So, it was not Tatsumi.

Maybe Watari would do it as some kind of strange joke, he was kind of weird. But why wouldn't he leave his name if it was some kind of a joke? Besides, Watari liked Tatsumi, and would therefore be more likely to play a joke on him. Plus if Watari played a joke on Tsuzuki, it would be disguised as something innocent, and then when you ate it, it would turn you into some kind of strange animal or something. Hm. It was not Watari.

Tsuzuki shuddered. Maybe it was The Earl. This was definitely something the Earl would do. But the Earl would leave his name. I mean, he was already violently obvious about his Tsuzuki-fetish. Tsuzuki gagged, the Earl really gave him the "no-feeling." Well, then it wasn't the Earl. This was a relief.

Who else WAS there? It wasn't Kanoe, it wasn't any other of the Shinigami. There was Wakaba, but she didn't even know what the word "fuck" meant. As for the rest of them, they didn't even send him regular valentines, let alone KINKY ones. Terazuma might send him a mail bomb, but certainly not anything pleasant. This whole situation was very perplexing. He sat there thinking about it for a little while until Hisoka walked in.

"Happy Valentine's Day `Soka," Tsuzuki said with a smile, temporarily forgetting about his dilemma.

"Happy Valentine's Day Tsuzuki," Hisoka said sitting down in the chair on the other side of the desk.

"Oh! I got something for you `Soka," Tsuzuki said with a smile and pulled a small box out from his desk drawer. He had almost forgotten about it in all the turmoil of this morning. Tsuzuki handed Hisoka the box with a big grin, " I hope you like it."

Hisoka accepted the box and tore open the wrapping and pulled out a little bear, holding a big chocolate heart. He was sure that Tsuzuki had been hard pressed to keep himself from eating it for the past week, so he was actually surprised there was still any candy at all. And the thought that Tsuzuki had restrained himself on his behalf was touching.

"Arigato," Hisoka said blushing, "did you get my present Tsuzuki?" Hisoka asked looking up him.

"Uh…I don't think so," Tsuzuki said. "Was it in my mailbox or anything?"

"No, I left the box outside your door this morning," Hisoka said looking puzzled.

Tsuzuki stared.

"That…was…from you?" he asked, his eyes getting big.

"Yes…" Hisoka said uncertainly.

"A…box of conversation hearts?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Yes…" Hisoka said again, "I know how much you like them, so I got them for you."

Tsuzuki was stunned. He never thought Hisoka had it in him to go out and buy something like that, to be so straight forward about everything. Maybe he had been wrong about Hisoka, maybe Hisoka was a closet nympho…

"Where did you buy them?" Tsuzuki asked.

"The store," Hisoka said giving him a look.

"Which one?" Tsuzuki asked.

"The one around the corner?" Hisoka said, not quite getting where this was going. Tsuzuki was sure being weird about this.

"They sell that kind of stuff?!?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah, around Valentine's Day," Hisoka said quirking an eyebrow.

Tsuzuki sat back in his chair. Really, what was the world coming to when you could buy these kinds of things at a regular store. He couldn't believe how calm Hisoka was. Normally Hisoka would be going into thermal meltdown from blush over-load, from something like this. Yet, there he was, sitting calmly in that chair, looking as confused as Tsuzuki felt.

"Don't you like them?" Hisoka asked.

"Yes, I just never expected you to give me something like this," Tsuzki said looking back down at them.

"They're just candy," Hisoka said.

"OKAY…" Tsuzuki said looking down at them. "Thank you Hisoka…they're uh, very nice?"

Tsuzuki really wanted to ask if it was a joke, but that would hurt Hisoka's feelings if he was being genuine.

Finally, Hisoka was getting a little fed up with what was going on. He reached across the desk and grabbed up a handful of hearts. He picked one out and read it out loud.

"Honestly Tsuzuki, why are you acting all weird over a conversation heart that says, `Fuck me?'" Hisoka said without even thinking. Then he stopped and turned bright red. Tsuzuki was gaping at him as he held up the little heart.

"…" Hisoka couldn't talk.

"…" Tsuzuki could only stare.

"What have you done to my present you HENTAI?!?" Hisoka finally yelled going through the rest of the candy. "GOOD LORD! HOW DID YOU CHANGE THESE?!"

"I didn't change them! That's how they were when I opened them!" Tsuzuki said looking innocent.

"These are NOT the candies I sent you!" Hisoka yelled back, " I have NO IDEA where these came from, but it wasn't me!"

It was then that Tatsumi stepped into the office.

"What is all this yelling going on in here?" Tatsumi said as he stood in the doorway looking threatening. "Shouldn't you two be working?"

"Yes, as opposed to wasting money?" Watari said cheerfully as he came up behind Tatsumi.

"You too!" Tatsumi growled at Watari.

"Ooh look! Conversation Hearts!" Watari said cheerfully bouncing through the doorway and grabbing a handful off of Tsuzuki's desk.

Tsuzuki made a choked noise and attempted to stop him, but was alas, too late.

Hisoka thought he was going to die…again…from sheer embarrassment.

"They're always so cute!" Watari gushed picking one up, "This one here says….oh my…"

"It says `oh my?'" Tatsumi asked.

"No…" Watari said with a smirk, "Here." He said as he handed Tatsumi the heart. "This is *directly* from ME to YOU." He snickered.

"Let me guess, `marry me?'" Tatsumi asked rather unamused.

Watari just grinned in a sunny manner and winked. Tatsumi looked at the heart and blushed, something not all too common for him, but if you were handed a candy heart by Watari that said, "On Your Knees." The look on Tatsumi's face was enough to set Watari into a fit of giggles.

"Aren't you supposed to be blowing something up at this point in the morning?" Tatsumi said with a very menacing glare.

"OH…blowing am I?" Watari asked with a snicker.

Tatsumi made a choked noise as his eye twitched.

"GET OUT OF HERE! DOWN! DOWN TO YOUR LAB!" he yelled.

"Well I'll see *you* later!" Watari said as he winked. He danced out the door, and managed a quick smack of his hand across Tatsumi's ass along the way. He bolted down the hall at that point cackling evil-ly as he practically dove into his lab.

Tatsumi, Hisoka, and Tsuzuki all looked at each other.

"We shall never speak of this again…" Tatsumi said. "About those candies…interesting present Hisoka," and with that he walked out the door and walked in the direction of Watari's lab.

"NO! NO!" Hisoka said jumping up and running to the door, trying to catch Tatsumi to explain. The door was locked from the outside, however. "TATSUMI!!!" Hisoka yelled.

"Thought you might be able to enjoy that present better if you couldn't escape," came Tatsumi's voice from the other side. "Well, I've got a scientist to punish, Ja!" and with that he was gone. Apparently everyone had a little cupid in them somewhere.

Hisoka turned around and stared at Tsuzuki who had remained calm through this whole thing. He was leaning back in his chair, with his feet up on the desk picking up the little hearts, and one by one reading them, giggling, and then eating them.

His calm was rather unnerving. What was even more unnerving however was when he picked up a heart, read it, and looked directly at Hisoka, eating it, very very slowly. Hisoka's eyes got even bigger (if that's possible) and he gaped. Tsuzuki quirked an eyebrow at him and smiled holding up a heart, that Hisoka supposed had the same saying as the other one. He didn't need to cross the room to tell what it said.

"You need to learn to shield SO much better," he said with a glare, "You HENTAI!"

"Oh I'm not even trying…" Tsuzuki said with a quick smile.

Hisoka twitched. What was Tsuzuki playing at?

"It's Valentine's day Hisoka," Tsuzuki said with another charming smile, "Don't you want to do something romantic?"

"Uh…uh…" Hisoka stammered. Tsuzuki looked almost smug as he picked up a conversation heart and tossed it to Hisoka. Hisoka caught it and slowly opened his hand to see what horrible thing Tsuzuki had thrown to him.

"kiss me"

Hisoka stared at the heart for a second and was startled when he felt Tsuzuki's hand on his shoulder.

"Tsuzuki…" Hisoka breathed out and held up the candy heart in the palm of his hand. Tsuzuki smiled at him and ate the heart out of his hand. Hisoka blushed a bright pink.

"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki said as he backed Hisoka against the wall slowly. Hisoka looked nervous at first and even a little scared. Then again, this was Tsuzuki, why should he be scared. Tsuzuki leaned down so that his forehead touched Hisoka's. One of his hands was on Hisoka's waist and the other was brushing the hair out of Hisoka's eyes. "I wanted to give you one that said `be mine' but I didn't have one…" Tsuzuki said quietly, his warm breath tickling Hisoka's ear.

Hisoka reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the conversation hearts. This one, however was one of the normal ones, he checked it and then held it up for Tsuzuki to read.

"I love you."

Tsuzuki smiled and instead of eating it, put it in his pocket.

"Love you too Hisoka," Tsuzuki said and stole a kiss from those wonderful lips. It was quick and chaste and sweet, and ended with Hisoka sliding his arms around Tsuzuki's neck. Tsuzuki held him a tight hug, smiling, this was the best Valentine's Day he'd ever had.

"Tsuzuki…?" Hisoka sighed out, laying his head on Tsuzuki's chest.

"Hm?" Tsuzuki replied playing with the younger boy's hair.

"Be mine?" Hisoka asked quietly looking up to find Tsuzuki's beautiful purple eyes.

"Always," Tsuzuki replied softly leaning down for another kiss. This promised to last much longer than the first one.

And somewhere else in Meifu a certain scientist was getting a similar punishment from everyone's favorite secretary.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"What are you looking so smug about?" Oriya said as he walked into Muraki's office with a tray of tea.

"Nothing, just sent Tsuzuki a *great* Valentine's day gift," Muraki replied.

"You didn't poison him did you??" Oriya asked a little alarmed. Muraki had a tendency to go overboard sometimes.

"No…remember those X-rated conversation hearts you gave me last year?" Muraki asked smiling.

"Yeah…" Oriya said looking suspicious.

"Well, I found out where you got them from," Muraki said smirking even more, "and I sent a box to Tsuzuki."

Oriya rolled his eyes and set the tea down on Muraki's desk.

"And just what is sending him X-rated conversation hearts supposed to say?" Oriya said with a glare.

"Well, it's not so much the hearts as the card…" Muraki said suddenly frowning, "But for some reason I haven't heard anything from Tsuzuki yet…"

"Have you ever thought that maybe he doesn't like you?" Oriya said rolling his eyes.

"Or that maybe he didn't get the card…" Muraki said, looking down at his desk. "Damnit! I can't believe I forgot to attach this! THIS RUINS EVERYTHING!" he shouted starting at the envelope on his desk.

Oriya chuckled and received a glare in response.

"Well, just think, there's always next year?" Oriya replied still trying to stifle his laughter.

Muraki fumed silently and shoved the card into his desk drawer. He hated it when his plans backfired.

-The End

Muraki: Why is everyone so mean to me!

Julie: Because you're the villain sweetie.

Muraki: But I'm your favorite character, doesn't that mean something to you?

Julie: Of course…but you'll never get Tsuzuki so stop holding out…

Muraki: Rats…

Oriya: But you can have me anytime ^___^

Julie & Muraki: O____O

Julie: Go for it…I'll just sit back here, like a fly on the wall and record what I see…

Muraki: O___o

Oriya: hehehe….::glomps Muraki:: you me here now?

Muraki: You're Uke.

Oriya: Take me.

Julie: O___O WOAH!

Okay, and for those of you who would like some NC-17 rated action, keep checking because I'll have some lemon's coming up as "sequels" to this. As in two possibly three PWP's. A TatsumixWatari, a TsuzukixHisoka, and maybe if it's so desired…a MurakixOriya. ^__^;;; review and let me know.