Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Tears From Heaven ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Saphira112 
Tears From Heaven
Chapter Four
Hisoka turned away, his head hanging limply, his body shaking slightly. He had been so stupid and now that Tsuzuki had seen him like this… he’d never want him back, no matter what he said or did. Even if Hisoka begged, he knew he couldn’t go back. Not after this. Never after this.
Strong arms wrapped around his form, right arm around his waist, left arm across his chest, handing gently cupping his right cheek. Startled, he snapped his head up and began to struggle, trying to get out of the hold. “Let go of me!”
“No, Hisoka, I won’t. I love you too much to let you go again.”
Hisoka’s eyes widened as he registered what Tsuzuki had just said. He didn’t really say that, did he? Was it possible? The arms holding him enfolded him more tightly, making the boy cease his thrashing attempts at escape. He couldn’t feel Tsuzuki’s emotions very well, but he had not been using his empathy for five years. It was only natural. Tsuzuki rested his forehead on Hisoka’s shoulder, shutting his eyes.
“Hisoka,” Tsuzuki uttered. “I do need you. You gave me a reason to exist. You are my reason, Hisoka. When you left, I was crushed. I looked everywhere for you and every time I didn’t find you… I cried. I cried because I thought you might be lying somewhere hurt or worse… I’d thought I’d lost you…”
Those words got past Hisoka’s emotional barrier and they hit his heart, making a tear fall from his eye and his breath catching in his throat. He didn’t need to be an empath to feel Tsuzuki’s sadness about thinking he was lost to him or know that his words were laced with sincerity and care. He put his head down in shame, causing the remaining gold jewelry to jingle slightly. He felt his guilt well up inside him and he knew… he knew he hurt Tsuzuki, something he never wanted to do, especially after Kyoto and yet, he had. He was a horrible partner and an even worse friend.
Hisoka made the slightest movement and the arms released him. Hisoka turned around slowly, feeling the hot salty rivers flow down his pale cheeks. He glanced up at Tsuzuki, who looked back at him, not with loathing, not with hatred or disgust, but with worry and concern. Hisoka then felt two hands holding his cheeks, thumbs brushing away his silent tears. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and putting his head down again, noting the care that the hands placed upon him as they radiated warmth from the elder shinigami’s skin.
The hands that gently held his head brought it to the chest of the older shinigami and Hisoka could now hear Tsuzuki’s heart beating. It was a sound that seemed to sooth the younger shinigami’s fears and he began to relax, keeping his eyes closed. He still didn’t think he was worthy of the older man holding him now. Hisoka’s arms stayed as his sides. An urging feeling rose inside of him and he fought it off for but a few seconds before it took over.
Hisoka lifted his arms to hug Tsuzuki around the waist, burying his face more into his partner’s chest, allowing a few more tears to seep past his lashes. He felt one arm wrap around his small shoulders as the other lifted its hand to stroke his hair. It was comforting and he felt safe. He began to relax against the other shinigami as he sagged into his arms, concentrating on the other’s heartbeat as his only source of mind.
All the pain and grief Hisoka had hidden for the past five years came out, and soon, he was sobbing into Tsuzuki’s arms, his shoulders shaking violently. The hand on his head didn’t stop its ministrations and continued to run fingers through his hair as the other arm tightened its hold around him. A soft string of whispered words came into Hisoka’s hearing range, but from where, he didn’t know.
mabushii umi kogareta kisetsu mo
yuki no maiorita kisetsu mo
(In the season of dazzling burned seas
And in the season of dancing snowflakes)
itsu datte furimukeba anata ga ita
(Whenever I turned around, you were there.)
bokutachi wa shiawase ni naru tame kono tabiji o yuku
dare mo minna ienu kizu o tsureta tabibito nan darou
(We travel this road to find happiness.
Everyone is a traveler, carrying his own never-healing wounds)
Hisoka opened his eyes, blinking through his tears as he glanced up slightly to look at Tsuzuki. The older shinigami had his eyes closed in content as his hand continued to brush through Hisoka’s hair soothingly, like there was no wrong in the world. It was safe, now, it seemed. Hisoka laid his head back on Tsuzuki’s chest, closing his eyes once more. “Tsuzuki…”
“I’m here, Hisoka. I’m here.”
“I… I want… I want to go home…”
“I know, Hisoka… I know. I know…”
The strange floating sensation coursed through both of the shinigami’s bodies and when Hisoka dared to open his eyes again, he saw his bedroom just as he left it five years ago: neat and tidy, the bed sheets folded and made, the bookcase holding every book, and last but not least, the picture Hisoka had turned down on his nightstand, under his lamp. He knew the picture. It was of him and Tsuzuki. He had secretly kept the picture and put it in a frame. He gasped when he saw Tsuzuki reach over and flip it back up.
“No, Tsuzuki, don’t--!”
Too late. There it was, in plain view, for Tsuzuki to see. The picture Hisoka had held dear in complete denial, the one picture that he shouted that he hated and yet, here it was, for Tsuzuki to see. Hisoka hung his head.
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j135/Saphira112/KAWAII.jpg
Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka in slight surprise. It was the picture of them that he had begged Saya and Yuma to take of them at the party on earth in the field of flowers. He had asked Hisoka later if he wanted the second copy for keeps, but all he did was take it and shouted that he didn’t like it, that he would just throw it away. But why was it here, then?
Hisoka was hanging his head limply and a small trail made it’s way down his cheek, sliding off and hitting the floor. Then another. He was still in pain, wasn’t he? Tsuzuki set the picture back down, flip side up and went back over to Hisoka. He saw the body of his younger partner tense up, but he didn’t know why. He lifted his hand and knelt down to his eyes level. The boy’s eyes suddenly clenched shut tightly, as though he was expecting to be hit. What reason would Tsuzuki ever hit him for?
Tsuzuki leaned forward, placing his hand on Hisoka’s cheek, and rested his lips gently on Hisoka’s, invoking a gasp from the younger as Tsuzuki took that chance to enter his mouth. He knew Hisoka was stunned, shocked, and fearful more than anything, but Tsuzuki would erase his fears. He wouldn’t allow Hisoka to hurt anymore. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s small frame, pulling him closer. He sighed into the kiss when he felt Hisoka relax against him and gently, hesitantly return it, hands going to clutch his shirt.
That was when the emotional barriers fell away and Hisoka’s empathy stirred. The disuse of empathy came down on him and his body jerked, stiffening immediately and tensing up against any and all contact. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions sped through his mind fast as lightning, jolting his senses awake, making him realize the situation and the feeling it held. He stopped responding to the kiss, feeling light headed, and his now reborn empathy stirred his mind and jumbled his thoughts even more and it was Hisoka who broke the kiss, stumbling backwards with half-lidded eyes.
He was caught in a pair of arms that he guessed were Tsuzuki’s and he risked opening his eyes to meet the worried amethyst gazing at him with concern. His empathy jolted his senses again and began to crumble. Consciousness was slipping for the boy and he lifted his hand to touch Tsuzuki’s cheek in a feather-light touch, as if marveling the sheer look of it. Then, Hisoka opened his mouth and whispered one word:
“Asato…”
And with that, Hisoka passed out.
Anime/Manga: Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.20.2006 | Updated On: 08.20.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 454 | Status: Work In Progress
Tears From Heaven
Chapter Four
Hisoka turned away, his head hanging limply, his body shaking slightly. He had been so stupid and now that Tsuzuki had seen him like this… he’d never want him back, no matter what he said or did. Even if Hisoka begged, he knew he couldn’t go back. Not after this. Never after this.
Strong arms wrapped around his form, right arm around his waist, left arm across his chest, handing gently cupping his right cheek. Startled, he snapped his head up and began to struggle, trying to get out of the hold. “Let go of me!”
“No, Hisoka, I won’t. I love you too much to let you go again.”
Hisoka’s eyes widened as he registered what Tsuzuki had just said. He didn’t really say that, did he? Was it possible? The arms holding him enfolded him more tightly, making the boy cease his thrashing attempts at escape. He couldn’t feel Tsuzuki’s emotions very well, but he had not been using his empathy for five years. It was only natural. Tsuzuki rested his forehead on Hisoka’s shoulder, shutting his eyes.
“Hisoka,” Tsuzuki uttered. “I do need you. You gave me a reason to exist. You are my reason, Hisoka. When you left, I was crushed. I looked everywhere for you and every time I didn’t find you… I cried. I cried because I thought you might be lying somewhere hurt or worse… I’d thought I’d lost you…”
Those words got past Hisoka’s emotional barrier and they hit his heart, making a tear fall from his eye and his breath catching in his throat. He didn’t need to be an empath to feel Tsuzuki’s sadness about thinking he was lost to him or know that his words were laced with sincerity and care. He put his head down in shame, causing the remaining gold jewelry to jingle slightly. He felt his guilt well up inside him and he knew… he knew he hurt Tsuzuki, something he never wanted to do, especially after Kyoto and yet, he had. He was a horrible partner and an even worse friend.
Hisoka made the slightest movement and the arms released him. Hisoka turned around slowly, feeling the hot salty rivers flow down his pale cheeks. He glanced up at Tsuzuki, who looked back at him, not with loathing, not with hatred or disgust, but with worry and concern. Hisoka then felt two hands holding his cheeks, thumbs brushing away his silent tears. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and putting his head down again, noting the care that the hands placed upon him as they radiated warmth from the elder shinigami’s skin.
The hands that gently held his head brought it to the chest of the older shinigami and Hisoka could now hear Tsuzuki’s heart beating. It was a sound that seemed to sooth the younger shinigami’s fears and he began to relax, keeping his eyes closed. He still didn’t think he was worthy of the older man holding him now. Hisoka’s arms stayed as his sides. An urging feeling rose inside of him and he fought it off for but a few seconds before it took over.
Hisoka lifted his arms to hug Tsuzuki around the waist, burying his face more into his partner’s chest, allowing a few more tears to seep past his lashes. He felt one arm wrap around his small shoulders as the other lifted its hand to stroke his hair. It was comforting and he felt safe. He began to relax against the other shinigami as he sagged into his arms, concentrating on the other’s heartbeat as his only source of mind.
All the pain and grief Hisoka had hidden for the past five years came out, and soon, he was sobbing into Tsuzuki’s arms, his shoulders shaking violently. The hand on his head didn’t stop its ministrations and continued to run fingers through his hair as the other arm tightened its hold around him. A soft string of whispered words came into Hisoka’s hearing range, but from where, he didn’t know.
mabushii umi kogareta kisetsu mo
yuki no maiorita kisetsu mo
(In the season of dazzling burned seas
And in the season of dancing snowflakes)
itsu datte furimukeba anata ga ita
(Whenever I turned around, you were there.)
bokutachi wa shiawase ni naru tame kono tabiji o yuku
dare mo minna ienu kizu o tsureta tabibito nan darou
(We travel this road to find happiness.
Everyone is a traveler, carrying his own never-healing wounds)
Hisoka opened his eyes, blinking through his tears as he glanced up slightly to look at Tsuzuki. The older shinigami had his eyes closed in content as his hand continued to brush through Hisoka’s hair soothingly, like there was no wrong in the world. It was safe, now, it seemed. Hisoka laid his head back on Tsuzuki’s chest, closing his eyes once more. “Tsuzuki…”
“I’m here, Hisoka. I’m here.”
“I… I want… I want to go home…”
“I know, Hisoka… I know. I know…”
The strange floating sensation coursed through both of the shinigami’s bodies and when Hisoka dared to open his eyes again, he saw his bedroom just as he left it five years ago: neat and tidy, the bed sheets folded and made, the bookcase holding every book, and last but not least, the picture Hisoka had turned down on his nightstand, under his lamp. He knew the picture. It was of him and Tsuzuki. He had secretly kept the picture and put it in a frame. He gasped when he saw Tsuzuki reach over and flip it back up.
“No, Tsuzuki, don’t--!”
Too late. There it was, in plain view, for Tsuzuki to see. The picture Hisoka had held dear in complete denial, the one picture that he shouted that he hated and yet, here it was, for Tsuzuki to see. Hisoka hung his head.
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j135/Saphira112/KAWAII.jpg
Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka in slight surprise. It was the picture of them that he had begged Saya and Yuma to take of them at the party on earth in the field of flowers. He had asked Hisoka later if he wanted the second copy for keeps, but all he did was take it and shouted that he didn’t like it, that he would just throw it away. But why was it here, then?
Hisoka was hanging his head limply and a small trail made it’s way down his cheek, sliding off and hitting the floor. Then another. He was still in pain, wasn’t he? Tsuzuki set the picture back down, flip side up and went back over to Hisoka. He saw the body of his younger partner tense up, but he didn’t know why. He lifted his hand and knelt down to his eyes level. The boy’s eyes suddenly clenched shut tightly, as though he was expecting to be hit. What reason would Tsuzuki ever hit him for?
Tsuzuki leaned forward, placing his hand on Hisoka’s cheek, and rested his lips gently on Hisoka’s, invoking a gasp from the younger as Tsuzuki took that chance to enter his mouth. He knew Hisoka was stunned, shocked, and fearful more than anything, but Tsuzuki would erase his fears. He wouldn’t allow Hisoka to hurt anymore. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s small frame, pulling him closer. He sighed into the kiss when he felt Hisoka relax against him and gently, hesitantly return it, hands going to clutch his shirt.
That was when the emotional barriers fell away and Hisoka’s empathy stirred. The disuse of empathy came down on him and his body jerked, stiffening immediately and tensing up against any and all contact. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions sped through his mind fast as lightning, jolting his senses awake, making him realize the situation and the feeling it held. He stopped responding to the kiss, feeling light headed, and his now reborn empathy stirred his mind and jumbled his thoughts even more and it was Hisoka who broke the kiss, stumbling backwards with half-lidded eyes.
He was caught in a pair of arms that he guessed were Tsuzuki’s and he risked opening his eyes to meet the worried amethyst gazing at him with concern. His empathy jolted his senses again and began to crumble. Consciousness was slipping for the boy and he lifted his hand to touch Tsuzuki’s cheek in a feather-light touch, as if marveling the sheer look of it. Then, Hisoka opened his mouth and whispered one word:
“Asato…”
And with that, Hisoka passed out.
Anime/Manga: Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.20.2006 | Updated On: 08.20.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 454 | Status: Work In Progress
Tears From Heaven
Chapter Four
Hisoka turned away, his head hanging limply, his body shaking slightly. He had been so stupid and now that Tsuzuki had seen him like this… he’d never want him back, no matter what he said or did. Even if Hisoka begged, he knew he couldn’t go back. Not after this. Never after this.
Strong arms wrapped around his form, right arm around his waist, left arm across his chest, handing gently cupping his right cheek. Startled, he snapped his head up and began to struggle, trying to get out of the hold. “Let go of me!”
“No, Hisoka, I won’t. I love you too much to let you go again.”
Hisoka’s eyes widened as he registered what Tsuzuki had just said. He didn’t really say that, did he? Was it possible? The arms holding him enfolded him more tightly, making the boy cease his thrashing attempts at escape. He couldn’t feel Tsuzuki’s emotions very well, but he had not been using his empathy for five years. It was only natural. Tsuzuki rested his forehead on Hisoka’s shoulder, shutting his eyes.
“Hisoka,” Tsuzuki uttered. “I do need you. You gave me a reason to exist. You are my reason, Hisoka. When you left, I was crushed. I looked everywhere for you and every time I didn’t find you… I cried. I cried because I thought you might be lying somewhere hurt or worse… I’d thought I’d lost you…”
Those words got past Hisoka’s emotional barrier and they hit his heart, making a tear fall from his eye and his breath catching in his throat. He didn’t need to be an empath to feel Tsuzuki’s sadness about thinking he was lost to him or know that his words were laced with sincerity and care. He put his head down in shame, causing the remaining gold jewelry to jingle slightly. He felt his guilt well up inside him and he knew… he knew he hurt Tsuzuki, something he never wanted to do, especially after Kyoto and yet, he had. He was a horrible partner and an even worse friend.
Hisoka made the slightest movement and the arms released him. Hisoka turned around slowly, feeling the hot salty rivers flow down his pale cheeks. He glanced up at Tsuzuki, who looked back at him, not with loathing, not with hatred or disgust, but with worry and concern. Hisoka then felt two hands holding his cheeks, thumbs brushing away his silent tears. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and putting his head down again, noting the care that the hands placed upon him as they radiated warmth from the elder shinigami’s skin.
The hands that gently held his head brought it to the chest of the older shinigami and Hisoka could now hear Tsuzuki’s heart beating. It was a sound that seemed to sooth the younger shinigami’s fears and he began to relax, keeping his eyes closed. He still didn’t think he was worthy of the older man holding him now. Hisoka’s arms stayed as his sides. An urging feeling rose inside of him and he fought it off for but a few seconds before it took over.
Hisoka lifted his arms to hug Tsuzuki around the waist, burying his face more into his partner’s chest, allowing a few more tears to seep past his lashes. He felt one arm wrap around his small shoulders as the other lifted its hand to stroke his hair. It was comforting and he felt safe. He began to relax against the other shinigami as he sagged into his arms, concentrating on the other’s heartbeat as his only source of mind.
All the pain and grief Hisoka had hidden for the past five years came out, and soon, he was sobbing into Tsuzuki’s arms, his shoulders shaking violently. The hand on his head didn’t stop its ministrations and continued to run fingers through his hair as the other arm tightened its hold around him. A soft string of whispered words came into Hisoka’s hearing range, but from where, he didn’t know.
mabushii umi kogareta kisetsu moyuki no maiorita kisetsu mo
(In the season of dazzling burned seasAnd in the season of dancing snowflakes)
itsu datte furimukeba anata ga ita
(Whenever I turned around, you were there.)
bokutachi wa shiawase ni naru tame kono tabiji o yukudare mo minna ienu kizu o tsureta tabibito nan darou
(We travel this road to find happiness.Everyone is a traveler, carrying his own never-healing wounds)
Hisoka opened his eyes, blinking through his tears as he glanced up slightly to look at Tsuzuki. The older shinigami had his eyes closed in content as his hand continued to brush through Hisoka’s hair soothingly, like there was no wrong in the world. It was safe, now, it seemed. Hisoka laid his head back on Tsuzuki’s chest, closing his eyes once more. “Tsuzuki…”
“I’m here, Hisoka. I’m here.”
“I… I want… I want to go home…”
“I know, Hisoka… I know. I know…”
The strange floating sensation coursed through both of the shinigami’s bodies and when Hisoka dared to open his eyes again, he saw his bedroom just as he left it five years ago: neat and tidy, the bed sheets folded and made, the bookcase holding every book, and last but not least, the picture Hisoka had turned down on his nightstand, under his lamp. He knew the picture. It was of him and Tsuzuki. He had secretly kept the picture and put it in a frame. He gasped when he saw Tsuzuki reach over and flip it back up.
“No, Tsuzuki, don’t--!”
Too late. There it was, in plain view, for Tsuzuki to see. The picture Hisoka had held dear in complete denial, the one picture that he shouted that he hated and yet, here it was, for Tsuzuki to see. Hisoka hung his head.
Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka in slight surprise. It was the picture of them that he had begged Saya and Yuma to take of them at the party on earth in the field of flowers. He had asked Hisoka later if he wanted the second copy for keeps, but all he did was take it and shouted that he didn’t like it, that he would just throw it away. But why was it here, then?
Hisoka was hanging his head limply and a small trail made it’s way down his cheek, sliding off and hitting the floor. Then another. He was still in pain, wasn’t he? Tsuzuki set the picture back down, flip side up and went back over to Hisoka. He saw the body of his younger partner tense up, but he didn’t know why. He lifted his hand and knelt down to his eyes level. The boy’s eyes suddenly clenched shut tightly, as though he was expecting to be hit. What reason would Tsuzuki ever hit him for?
Tsuzuki leaned forward, placing his hand on Hisoka’s cheek, and rested his lips gently on Hisoka’s, invoking a gasp from the younger as Tsuzuki took that chance to enter his mouth. He knew Hisoka was stunned, shocked, and fearful more than anything, but Tsuzuki would erase his fears. He wouldn’t allow Hisoka to hurt anymore. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s small frame, pulling him closer. He sighed into the kiss when he felt Hisoka relax against him and gently, hesitantly return it, hands going to clutch his shirt.
That was when the emotional barriers fell away and Hisoka’s empathy stirred. The disuse of empathy came down on him and his body jerked, stiffening immediately and tensing up against any and all contact. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions sped through his mind fast as lightning, jolting his senses awake, making him realize the situation and the feeling it held. He stopped responding to the kiss, feeling light headed, and his now reborn empathy stirred his mind and jumbled his thoughts even more and it was Hisoka who broke the kiss, stumbling backwards with half-lidded eyes.
He was caught in a pair of arms that he guessed were Tsuzuki’s and he risked opening his eyes to meet the worried amethyst gazing at him with concern. His empathy jolted his senses again and began to crumble. Consciousness was slipping for the boy and he lifted his hand to touch Tsuzuki’s cheek in a feather-light touch, as if marveling the sheer look of it. Then, Hisoka opened his mouth and whispered one word:
“Asato…”
And with that, Hisoka passed out.
Chapter Four
Hisoka turned away, his head hanging limply, his body shaking slightly. He had been so stupid and now that Tsuzuki had seen him like this… he’d never want him back, no matter what he said or did. Even if Hisoka begged, he knew he couldn’t go back. Not after this. Never after this.
Strong arms wrapped around his form, right arm around his waist, left arm across his chest, handing gently cupping his right cheek. Startled, he snapped his head up and began to struggle, trying to get out of the hold. “Let go of me!”
“No, Hisoka, I won’t. I love you too much to let you go again.”
Hisoka’s eyes widened as he registered what Tsuzuki had just said. He didn’t really say that, did he? Was it possible? The arms holding him enfolded him more tightly, making the boy cease his thrashing attempts at escape. He couldn’t feel Tsuzuki’s emotions very well, but he had not been using his empathy for five years. It was only natural. Tsuzuki rested his forehead on Hisoka’s shoulder, shutting his eyes.
“Hisoka,” Tsuzuki uttered. “I do need you. You gave me a reason to exist. You are my reason, Hisoka. When you left, I was crushed. I looked everywhere for you and every time I didn’t find you… I cried. I cried because I thought you might be lying somewhere hurt or worse… I’d thought I’d lost you…”
Those words got past Hisoka’s emotional barrier and they hit his heart, making a tear fall from his eye and his breath catching in his throat. He didn’t need to be an empath to feel Tsuzuki’s sadness about thinking he was lost to him or know that his words were laced with sincerity and care. He put his head down in shame, causing the remaining gold jewelry to jingle slightly. He felt his guilt well up inside him and he knew… he knew he hurt Tsuzuki, something he never wanted to do, especially after Kyoto and yet, he had. He was a horrible partner and an even worse friend.
Hisoka made the slightest movement and the arms released him. Hisoka turned around slowly, feeling the hot salty rivers flow down his pale cheeks. He glanced up at Tsuzuki, who looked back at him, not with loathing, not with hatred or disgust, but with worry and concern. Hisoka then felt two hands holding his cheeks, thumbs brushing away his silent tears. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and putting his head down again, noting the care that the hands placed upon him as they radiated warmth from the elder shinigami’s skin.
The hands that gently held his head brought it to the chest of the older shinigami and Hisoka could now hear Tsuzuki’s heart beating. It was a sound that seemed to sooth the younger shinigami’s fears and he began to relax, keeping his eyes closed. He still didn’t think he was worthy of the older man holding him now. Hisoka’s arms stayed as his sides. An urging feeling rose inside of him and he fought it off for but a few seconds before it took over.
Hisoka lifted his arms to hug Tsuzuki around the waist, burying his face more into his partner’s chest, allowing a few more tears to seep past his lashes. He felt one arm wrap around his small shoulders as the other lifted its hand to stroke his hair. It was comforting and he felt safe. He began to relax against the other shinigami as he sagged into his arms, concentrating on the other’s heartbeat as his only source of mind.
All the pain and grief Hisoka had hidden for the past five years came out, and soon, he was sobbing into Tsuzuki’s arms, his shoulders shaking violently. The hand on his head didn’t stop its ministrations and continued to run fingers through his hair as the other arm tightened its hold around him. A soft string of whispered words came into Hisoka’s hearing range, but from where, he didn’t know.
mabushii umi kogareta kisetsu moyuki no maiorita kisetsu mo
(In the season of dazzling burned seasAnd in the season of dancing snowflakes)
itsu datte furimukeba anata ga ita
(Whenever I turned around, you were there.)
bokutachi wa shiawase ni naru tame kono tabiji o yukudare mo minna ienu kizu o tsureta tabibito nan darou
(We travel this road to find happiness.Everyone is a traveler, carrying his own never-healing wounds)
Hisoka opened his eyes, blinking through his tears as he glanced up slightly to look at Tsuzuki. The older shinigami had his eyes closed in content as his hand continued to brush through Hisoka’s hair soothingly, like there was no wrong in the world. It was safe, now, it seemed. Hisoka laid his head back on Tsuzuki’s chest, closing his eyes once more. “Tsuzuki…”
“I’m here, Hisoka. I’m here.”
“I… I want… I want to go home…”
“I know, Hisoka… I know. I know…”
The strange floating sensation coursed through both of the shinigami’s bodies and when Hisoka dared to open his eyes again, he saw his bedroom just as he left it five years ago: neat and tidy, the bed sheets folded and made, the bookcase holding every book, and last but not least, the picture Hisoka had turned down on his nightstand, under his lamp. He knew the picture. It was of him and Tsuzuki. He had secretly kept the picture and put it in a frame. He gasped when he saw Tsuzuki reach over and flip it back up.
“No, Tsuzuki, don’t--!”
Too late. There it was, in plain view, for Tsuzuki to see. The picture Hisoka had held dear in complete denial, the one picture that he shouted that he hated and yet, here it was, for Tsuzuki to see. Hisoka hung his head.
Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka in slight surprise. It was the picture of them that he had begged Saya and Yuma to take of them at the party on earth in the field of flowers. He had asked Hisoka later if he wanted the second copy for keeps, but all he did was take it and shouted that he didn’t like it, that he would just throw it away. But why was it here, then?
Hisoka was hanging his head limply and a small trail made it’s way down his cheek, sliding off and hitting the floor. Then another. He was still in pain, wasn’t he? Tsuzuki set the picture back down, flip side up and went back over to Hisoka. He saw the body of his younger partner tense up, but he didn’t know why. He lifted his hand and knelt down to his eyes level. The boy’s eyes suddenly clenched shut tightly, as though he was expecting to be hit. What reason would Tsuzuki ever hit him for?
Tsuzuki leaned forward, placing his hand on Hisoka’s cheek, and rested his lips gently on Hisoka’s, invoking a gasp from the younger as Tsuzuki took that chance to enter his mouth. He knew Hisoka was stunned, shocked, and fearful more than anything, but Tsuzuki would erase his fears. He wouldn’t allow Hisoka to hurt anymore. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s small frame, pulling him closer. He sighed into the kiss when he felt Hisoka relax against him and gently, hesitantly return it, hands going to clutch his shirt.
That was when the emotional barriers fell away and Hisoka’s empathy stirred. The disuse of empathy came down on him and his body jerked, stiffening immediately and tensing up against any and all contact. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions sped through his mind fast as lightning, jolting his senses awake, making him realize the situation and the feeling it held. He stopped responding to the kiss, feeling light headed, and his now reborn empathy stirred his mind and jumbled his thoughts even more and it was Hisoka who broke the kiss, stumbling backwards with half-lidded eyes.
He was caught in a pair of arms that he guessed were Tsuzuki’s and he risked opening his eyes to meet the worried amethyst gazing at him with concern. His empathy jolted his senses again and began to crumble. Consciousness was slipping for the boy and he lifted his hand to touch Tsuzuki’s cheek in a feather-light touch, as if marveling the sheer look of it. Then, Hisoka opened his mouth and whispered one word:
“Asato…”
And with that, Hisoka passed out.