Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Within My Mind, Within Your Heart ❯ Rejection ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Saphira112 
Within My Mind, Within Your Heart
Chapter One- Rejection
He’d thought long and hard about it, but he’d finally decided: He would tell Tsuzuki how he truly felt. Truth was, he’d hidden his feelings even after Kyoto and was previously afraid of Tsuzuki rejecting him, but soon realized that it most likely wasn’t going to happen. So he would tell Tsuzuki. Today.
He was reading in the library with a book in his hands, but he wasn’t really reading it, not soaking p the text as he normally would. He just seemed lost in thought before he sensed familiar emotions heading in his direction and it turned out to be Tsuzuki. Well, the library was empty, except for himself, because the Gushoshin twins were busy running away from Konoe, as the chief was drunk today.
Hisoka pretended not to notice Tsuzuki until the elder shinigami was in front of him. “Hiya, Hisoka! Watcha doin’?”
“Reading,” was his reply, the same as always, so Tsuzuki wouldn’t suspect that he was thinking about him or anything related to him. The next thing Hisoka knew he was getting his hair ruffled and he put on an annoyed face, which just made Tsuzuki grin. Tsuzuki retracted his hand and said, “I figured you would be in here.”
“Yeah. What of it?”
Hisoka put the book down on the table, after book marking the page of course, putting his right arm on the arm of the chair and putting his head on his right hand, slouching slightly in the chair, looking up at Tsuzuki through his ashen bangs. Tsuzuki just continued grinning. “Well, this is your little haven, isn’t it?”
Hisoka rolled his eyes. “Right.”
Tsuzuki’s grin faded a bit. “No, I’m being serious. I always find you here, in a book. And it’s quiet. Like you, ne?”
Hisoka sighed, exasperated. He certainly didn’t know how he fell in love with an idiot, but he would find a way around it. After Kyoto, he knew Tsuzuki’s cheerfulness was all a facade to throw people off if they asked what was wrong. Maybe that was why he had grown to like him as much as he did. They were so alike in so many ways, you’d have to have no brain not to notice.
“Hey, Hisoka?” asked Tsuzuki.
“Hmm?”
“Are you all right? You seem a little distant.”
“What else is new?”
“More distant than usual, I mean. Something wrong?”
“No.”
“Well, if you say so…”
Tsuzuki turned around to leave Hisoka alone, but the boy got up without the elder noticing and said, “Wait.”
Tsuzuki turned around the face the blonde boy, whose head hung down, bangs hiding his eyes in slight shadows, but he wasn’t crying or anything and yet, his voice was somewhat hesitant and scared. Timid would be a better word, that’s who it sounded to Tsuzuki.
“Something wrong?” Tsuzuki asked for the second time that day. Hisoka shook his head, but walked towards the older shinigami, stopping but a few feet away, not moving his head in the slightest.
“Hisoka?”
Tsuzuki was confused by this odd behavior. Hisoka didn’t act like this at all and it was actually starting to frighten Tsuzuki somewhat. He heard Hisoka murmur something and stared at him, not quite catching what the younger had said, so he asked. Hisoka took another step forward. He took in a deep breath and whispered out, “I… love you.”
The next thing Tsuzuki knew, Hisoka was kissing him desperately arm coming up to wrap around his neck. Startled by the sudden action, he pushed Hisoka away a little too roughly. The boy tripped and fell back, landing on the floor. Shaking the slight pain off, he looked up at Tsuzuki, who was eyeing him, his emotions blazed with confusion, shock, self-loathing, and some… disgust? But… why?
Tsuzuki shook his head. “No, Hisoka.”
Deep, wild and hurt green gems looked back up at him. Tsuzuki felt a small twinge in his chest at the look Hisoka gave him, so he shut his eyes, one of his hands clenching into a fist. “I can’t. So I won’t.”
Tsuzuki heard a sob come form the boy and then footsteps running away from him. When he opened his eyes, he was met with an empty room, the book Hisoka had earlier knocked to the floor on the boy’s way out, and a small drop of water on the carpet. Tsuzuki felt a small ache in his heart as the footsteps faded away. He unclenched his hand before he walked over and bent down, picking up the forgotten book, closing it and placing it back on the table before he left the library.
-X-
The next day, Hisoka didn’t show up at work. Tsuzuki noted that and decided to go check up on his partner to see why he was out today. He got permission from Tatsumi and teleported back to the apartment complex where he and Hisoka stayed. He knocked on the empath’s door, but received no answer. He didn’t expect one though. He teleported in spirit form inside.
He looked around the first level, seeing some of the things neat and tidy, but there were things off. For example, the living room table with two chairs. One was fallen on its side and the other was on its back on the wood floor. The table had a few pieces of paper scattered about it. In the kitchen, there lay a sharp knife with something red on the end of it.
Panic rose within Tsuzuki as he raced upstairs to look for Hisoka. He opened the empath’s bedroom door and was relieved to see him laying on his bed, asleep. Or, at least, that’s what it looked like. He walked over and tapped Hisoka’s cheek. No response. And his skin felt cold to touch. He gently shook his shoulder. No answer.
Desperate, he pulled the boy into an upright position, but his head just rolled back without a sound, like a puppet lying forgotten by its master, string removed, nothing to move it. Tsuzuki checked his pulse, but it was normal and his breathing was the same, even though it didn’t look like he was breathing at all.
He teleported back to Ju-Oh-Cho and rushed to the infirmary. Watari was in the room and he helped Tsuzuki lay the seemingly lifeless boy on the bed , before taking out a small laptop and scanning the empath thoroughly while Tsuzuki clutched Hisoka’s hand, praying that he would wake up. Not a sound escaped his slightly parted lips and the laptop scanner came up negative. He was still alive, but not within himself.
“What’s that mean?” asked Tsuzuki fearfully, clutching his partner’s cold hand tighter. Watari sighed, exasperated.
“It means he’s retreated into his mind and left his body. The body technically stays in perfect condition, so it’s almost like a coma. However, the mind can retreat as far back as the Heart Conscious, which is the last impenetrable level. Unless we bring him back, he’ll stay like this forever,” Watari explained. “This is normally caused by a feeling of hopelessness or rejection so great, it damages the soul.”
Tsuzuki tore his eyes from golden ones to looked at the closed green ones. Had he caused this? He had rejected Hisoka yesterday for his love and now this? Was he truly the source?
“Isn’t there any way to bring him back?” asked Tsuzuki, frightened of the possibly of getting a negative answer. Watari sighed, running his hands though his hair, and said, “There is a spell, but it’s dangerous. It can only be used to breach the first six levels. The last one is impossible. If you try and go through that one, neither you nor he would ever return.”
“So, if he goes all the way back into his Heart Conscious, I wouldn’t stand a chance, right?”
Watari nodded. “And even if there is the possibility of you returning from that level, it’s not at all likely and a slim to none chance.”
“I’ll do it anyway. I can’t leave Hisoka like this.”
Watari shook his head. “It’s too dangerous,” he protested.
“I don’t care,” Tsuzuki replied. “I’m going to do it.”
“Well, okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Tsuzuki nodded before pulling out a purple sutra and muttering a few words, making the paper glow. Tsuzuki touched Hisoka’s forehead and was catapulted into the empath’s mind, not realizing how much the scenes in Hisoka’s mind would affect him.
Anime/Manga: Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.27.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 659 | Status: Work In Progress
Within My Mind, Within Your Heart
Chapter One- Rejection
He’d thought long and hard about it, but he’d finally decided: He would tell Tsuzuki how he truly felt. Truth was, he’d hidden his feelings even after Kyoto and was previously afraid of Tsuzuki rejecting him, but soon realized that it most likely wasn’t going to happen. So he would tell Tsuzuki. Today.
He was reading in the library with a book in his hands, but he wasn’t really reading it, not soaking p the text as he normally would. He just seemed lost in thought before he sensed familiar emotions heading in his direction and it turned out to be Tsuzuki. Well, the library was empty, except for himself, because the Gushoshin twins were busy running away from Konoe, as the chief was drunk today.
Hisoka pretended not to notice Tsuzuki until the elder shinigami was in front of him. “Hiya, Hisoka! Watcha doin’?”
“Reading,” was his reply, the same as always, so Tsuzuki wouldn’t suspect that he was thinking about him or anything related to him. The next thing Hisoka knew he was getting his hair ruffled and he put on an annoyed face, which just made Tsuzuki grin. Tsuzuki retracted his hand and said, “I figured you would be in here.”
“Yeah. What of it?”
Hisoka put the book down on the table, after book marking the page of course, putting his right arm on the arm of the chair and putting his head on his right hand, slouching slightly in the chair, looking up at Tsuzuki through his ashen bangs. Tsuzuki just continued grinning. “Well, this is your little haven, isn’t it?”
Hisoka rolled his eyes. “Right.”
Tsuzuki’s grin faded a bit. “No, I’m being serious. I always find you here, in a book. And it’s quiet. Like you, ne?”
Hisoka sighed, exasperated. He certainly didn’t know how he fell in love with an idiot, but he would find a way around it. After Kyoto, he knew Tsuzuki’s cheerfulness was all a facade to throw people off if they asked what was wrong. Maybe that was why he had grown to like him as much as he did. They were so alike in so many ways, you’d have to have no brain not to notice.
“Hey, Hisoka?” asked Tsuzuki.
“Hmm?”
“Are you all right? You seem a little distant.”
“What else is new?”
“More distant than usual, I mean. Something wrong?”
“No.”
“Well, if you say so…”
Tsuzuki turned around to leave Hisoka alone, but the boy got up without the elder noticing and said, “Wait.”
Tsuzuki turned around the face the blonde boy, whose head hung down, bangs hiding his eyes in slight shadows, but he wasn’t crying or anything and yet, his voice was somewhat hesitant and scared. Timid would be a better word, that’s who it sounded to Tsuzuki.
“Something wrong?” Tsuzuki asked for the second time that day. Hisoka shook his head, but walked towards the older shinigami, stopping but a few feet away, not moving his head in the slightest.
“Hisoka?”
Tsuzuki was confused by this odd behavior. Hisoka didn’t act like this at all and it was actually starting to frighten Tsuzuki somewhat. He heard Hisoka murmur something and stared at him, not quite catching what the younger had said, so he asked. Hisoka took another step forward. He took in a deep breath and whispered out, “I… love you.”
The next thing Tsuzuki knew, Hisoka was kissing him desperately arm coming up to wrap around his neck. Startled by the sudden action, he pushed Hisoka away a little too roughly. The boy tripped and fell back, landing on the floor. Shaking the slight pain off, he looked up at Tsuzuki, who was eyeing him, his emotions blazed with confusion, shock, self-loathing, and some… disgust? But… why?
Tsuzuki shook his head. “No, Hisoka.”
Deep, wild and hurt green gems looked back up at him. Tsuzuki felt a small twinge in his chest at the look Hisoka gave him, so he shut his eyes, one of his hands clenching into a fist. “I can’t. So I won’t.”
Tsuzuki heard a sob come form the boy and then footsteps running away from him. When he opened his eyes, he was met with an empty room, the book Hisoka had earlier knocked to the floor on the boy’s way out, and a small drop of water on the carpet. Tsuzuki felt a small ache in his heart as the footsteps faded away. He unclenched his hand before he walked over and bent down, picking up the forgotten book, closing it and placing it back on the table before he left the library.
-X-
The next day, Hisoka didn’t show up at work. Tsuzuki noted that and decided to go check up on his partner to see why he was out today. He got permission from Tatsumi and teleported back to the apartment complex where he and Hisoka stayed. He knocked on the empath’s door, but received no answer. He didn’t expect one though. He teleported in spirit form inside.
He looked around the first level, seeing some of the things neat and tidy, but there were things off. For example, the living room table with two chairs. One was fallen on its side and the other was on its back on the wood floor. The table had a few pieces of paper scattered about it. In the kitchen, there lay a sharp knife with something red on the end of it.
Panic rose within Tsuzuki as he raced upstairs to look for Hisoka. He opened the empath’s bedroom door and was relieved to see him laying on his bed, asleep. Or, at least, that’s what it looked like. He walked over and tapped Hisoka’s cheek. No response. And his skin felt cold to touch. He gently shook his shoulder. No answer.
Desperate, he pulled the boy into an upright position, but his head just rolled back without a sound, like a puppet lying forgotten by its master, string removed, nothing to move it. Tsuzuki checked his pulse, but it was normal and his breathing was the same, even though it didn’t look like he was breathing at all.
He teleported back to Ju-Oh-Cho and rushed to the infirmary. Watari was in the room and he helped Tsuzuki lay the seemingly lifeless boy on the bed , before taking out a small laptop and scanning the empath thoroughly while Tsuzuki clutched Hisoka’s hand, praying that he would wake up. Not a sound escaped his slightly parted lips and the laptop scanner came up negative. He was still alive, but not within himself.
“What’s that mean?” asked Tsuzuki fearfully, clutching his partner’s cold hand tighter. Watari sighed, exasperated.
“It means he’s retreated into his mind and left his body. The body technically stays in perfect condition, so it’s almost like a coma. However, the mind can retreat as far back as the Heart Conscious, which is the last impenetrable level. Unless we bring him back, he’ll stay like this forever,” Watari explained. “This is normally caused by a feeling of hopelessness or rejection so great, it damages the soul.”
Tsuzuki tore his eyes from golden ones to looked at the closed green ones. Had he caused this? He had rejected Hisoka yesterday for his love and now this? Was he truly the source?
“Isn’t there any way to bring him back?” asked Tsuzuki, frightened of the possibly of getting a negative answer. Watari sighed, running his hands though his hair, and said, “There is a spell, but it’s dangerous. It can only be used to breach the first six levels. The last one is impossible. If you try and go through that one, neither you nor he would ever return.”
“So, if he goes all the way back into his Heart Conscious, I wouldn’t stand a chance, right?”
Watari nodded. “And even if there is the possibility of you returning from that level, it’s not at all likely and a slim to none chance.”
“I’ll do it anyway. I can’t leave Hisoka like this.”
Watari shook his head. “It’s too dangerous,” he protested.
“I don’t care,” Tsuzuki replied. “I’m going to do it.”
“Well, okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Tsuzuki nodded before pulling out a purple sutra and muttering a few words, making the paper glow. Tsuzuki touched Hisoka’s forehead and was catapulted into the empath’s mind, not realizing how much the scenes in Hisoka’s mind would affect him.
Anime/Manga: Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.27.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 659 | Status: Work In Progress
Within My Mind, Within Your Heart
Chapter One
He'd thought long and hard about it, but he'd finally decided: He would tell Tsuzuki how he truly felt. Truth was, he'd hidden his feelings even after Kyoto and was previously afraid of Tsuzuki rejecting him, but soon realized that it most likely wasn't going to happen. So he would tell Tsuzuki. Today.
He was reading in the library with a book in his hands, but he wasn't really reading it, not soaking p the text as he normally would. He just seemed lost in thought before he sensed familiar emotions heading in his direction and it turned out to be Tsuzuki. Well, the library was empty, except for himself, because the Gushoshin twins were busy running away from Konoe, as the chief was drunk today.
Hisoka pretended not to notice Tsuzuki until the elder shinigami was in front of him. “Hiya, Hisoka! Watcha doin'?”
“Reading,” was his reply, the same as always, so Tsuzuki wouldn't suspect that he was thinking about him or anything related to him. The next thing Hisoka knew he was getting his hair ruffled and he put on an annoyed face, which just made Tsuzuki grin. Tsuzuki retracted his hand and said, “I figured you would be in here.”
“Yeah. What of it?”
Hisoka put the book down on the table, after book marking the page of course, putting his right arm on the arm of the chair and putting his head on his right hand, slouching slightly in the chair, looking up at Tsuzuki through his ashen bangs. Tsuzuki just continued grinning. “Well, this is your little haven, isn't it?”
Hisoka rolled his eyes. “Right.”
Tsuzuki's grin faded a bit. “No, I'm being serious. I always find you here, in a book. And it's quiet. Like you, ne?”
Hisoka sighed, exasperated. He certainly didn't know how he fell in love with an idiot, but he would find a way around it. After Kyoto, he knew Tsuzuki's cheerfulness was all a facade to throw people off if they asked what was wrong. Maybe that was why he had grown to like him as much as he did. They were so alike in so many ways, you'd have to have no brain not to notice.
“Hey, Hisoka?” asked Tsuzuki.
“Hmm?”
“Are you all right? You seem a little distant.”
“What else is new?”
“More distant than usual, I mean. Something wrong?”
“No.”
“Well, if you say so…”
Tsuzuki turned around to leave Hisoka alone, but the boy got up without the elder noticing and said, “Wait.”
Tsuzuki turned around the face the blonde boy, whose head hung down, bangs hiding his eyes in slight shadows, but he wasn't crying or anything and yet, his voice was somewhat hesitant and scared. Timid would be a better word, that's who it sounded to Tsuzuki.
“Something wrong?” Tsuzuki asked for the second time that day. Hisoka shook his head, but walked towards the older shinigami, stopping but a few feet away, not moving his head in the slightest.
“Hisoka?”
Tsuzuki was confused by this odd behavior. Hisoka didn't act like this at all and it was actually starting to frighten Tsuzuki somewhat. He heard Hisoka murmur something and stared at him, not quite catching what the younger had said, so he asked. Hisoka took another step forward. He took in a deep breath and whispered out, “I… love you.”
The next thing Tsuzuki knew, Hisoka was kissing him desperately arm coming up to wrap around his neck. Startled by the sudden action, he pushed Hisoka away a little too roughly. The boy tripped and fell back, landing on the floor. Shaking the slight pain off, he looked up at Tsuzuki, who was eyeing him, his emotions blazed with confusion, shock, self-loathing, and some… disgust? But… why?
Tsuzuki shook his head. “No, Hisoka.”
Deep, wild and hurt green gems looked back up at him. Tsuzuki felt a small twinge in his chest at the look Hisoka gave him, so he shut his eyes, one of his hands clenching into a fist. “I can't. So I won't.”
Tsuzuki heard a sob come form the boy and then footsteps running away from him. When he opened his eyes, he was met with an empty room, the book Hisoka had earlier knocked to the floor on the boy's way out, and a small drop of water on the carpet. Tsuzuki felt a small ache in his heart as the footsteps faded away. He unclenched his hand before he walked over and bent down, picking up the forgotten book, closing it and placing it back on the table before he left the library.
-X-
The next day, Hisoka didn't show up at work. Tsuzuki noted that and decided to go check up on his partner to see why he was out today. He got permission from Tatsumi and teleported back to the apartment complex where he and Hisoka stayed. He knocked on the empath's door, but received no answer. He didn't expect one though. He teleported in spirit form inside.
He looked around the first level, seeing some of the things neat and tidy, but there were things off. For example, the living room table with two chairs. One was fallen on its side and the other was on its back on the wood floor. The table had a few pieces of paper scattered about it. In the kitchen, there lay a sharp knife with something red on the end of it.
Panic rose within Tsuzuki as he raced upstairs to look for Hisoka. He opened the empath's bedroom door and was relieved to see him lying on his bed, asleep. Or, at least, that's what it looked like. He walked over and tapped Hisoka's cheek. No response. And his skin felt cold to touch. He gently shook his shoulder. No answer.
Desperate, he pulled the boy into an upright position, but his head just rolled back without a sound, like a puppet lying forgotten by its master, string removed, nothing to move it. Tsuzuki checked his pulse, but it was normal and his breathing was the same, even though it didn't look like he was breathing at all.
He teleported back to Ju-Oh-Cho and rushed to the infirmary. Watari was in the room and he helped Tsuzuki lay the seemingly lifeless boy on the bed , before taking out a small laptop and scanning the empath thoroughly while Tsuzuki clutched Hisoka's hand, praying that he would wake up. Not a sound escaped his slightly parted lips and the laptop scanner came up negative. He was still alive, but not within himself.
“What's that mean?” asked Tsuzuki fearfully, clutching his partner's cold hand tighter. Watari sighed, exasperated.
“It means he's retreated into his mind and left his body. The body technically stays in perfect condition, so it's almost like a coma. However, the mind can retreat as far back as the Heart Conscious, which is the last impenetrable level. Unless we bring him back, he'll stay like this forever,” Watari explained. “This is normally caused by a feeling of hopelessness or rejection so great, it damages the soul.”
Tsuzuki tore his eyes from golden ones to look at the closed green ones. Had he caused this? He had rejected Hisoka yesterday for his love and now this? Was he truly the source?
“Isn't there any way to bring him back?” asked Tsuzuki, frightened of the possibly of getting a negative answer. Watari sighed, running his hands though his hair, and said, “There is a spell, but it's dangerous. It can only be used to breach the first six levels. The last one is impossible. If you try and go through that one, neither you nor he would ever return.”
“So, if he goes all the way back into his Heart Conscious, I wouldn't stand a chance, right?”
Watari nodded. “And even if there is the possibility of you returning from that level, it's not at all likely and a slim to none chance.”
“I'll do it anyway. I can't leave Hisoka like this.”
Watari shook his head. “It's too dangerous,” he protested.
“I don't care,” Tsuzuki replied. “I'm going to do it.”
“Well, okay, but don't say I didn't warn you.”
Tsuzuki nodded before pulling out a purple sutra and muttering a few words, making the paper glow. Tsuzuki touched Hisoka's forehead and was catapulted into the empath's mind, not realizing how much the scenes in Hisoka's mind would affect him.
Tsuzuki nodded before pulling out a purple sutra and muttering a few words, making the paper glow. Tsuzuki touched Hisoka's forehead and was catapulted into the empath's mind, not realizing how much the scenes in Hisoka's mind would affect him.