Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction ❯ lets protect the tent ❯ Of Thieves, Nomads, and Fangirls ( Chapter 8 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: silver kitsune princess 
RATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.04.2005 | Pages: 7 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 291 | Status: Completed
RATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.04.2005 | Pages: 7 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 291 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I own Yu-Gi-Oh no more than I own Fire Emblem.
A/N: Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....
RATH!! !! Hehehehe...
Warning: Lot’s of fangirl-ish-ness, Rath worship, Bakura-sama-ism, and
Araphen hating. KILL THE EVIL ONE!!!! THE NOMAD-HATER MUST
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah. And lots of cussing. Araphen
is a potty mouth. It pisses Mia off. Mia retaliates.
Another A/N: THIS CHAPTER IS SACRED!!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME
TO FIND THE INSANITY ENOUGH TO BE WORTHY OF RATH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I AM
STILL NOT AS INSANE AS I WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just mostly look at
this chapter and shake my head wondering how I could write such
obscenities... Then I imagine Lord Fluffy-Sama in a Batman costume and
laugh... haha...
_______________________________________________________________ __________
_____
Chapter 8: Of Thieves, Nomads, and Fangirls
“We should be arriving in Araphen soon, and- Mia? Is something wrong?”
Kent asked.
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha....”
“Nope, everything’s fine,” Mira said.
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha....”
O_o “Are you sure? She’s scaring me,” Serra said.
“MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!”
-_- “Sis only laughs like that when something’s going well in her
schemes... something’s bound to happen soon...” Mokuba said.
Not much special happened in the city, and when Kent came back with news
that they would be provisioned, the peasants rejoiced at the thought of
food.
Except Mia, who still had that menacing look in her eyes as she watched
Araphen Castle.
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......”
Then came the terrible news that the castle was under attack.
The people panic.
Two shady fellows made their way to a house that someone had fled to
earlier when the bad news came.
Mia laughed maniacally.
Everyone left outside stared.
“Mia...” Lyn asked. “Do you have anything to do with that fire?”
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha....”
“That’s a... no, If I’ve translated correctly... but there’s something
else to the laugh... Someone’s coming,” Isis said.
A bandit jumped out of nowhere. “You’re Lyndis, aren’t you?”
Lyn shrieked. “AH! What do you-”
“No questions! Prepare yourself!” And the bandit charged...
“HEY!” Lyn screamed.
All of the sudden a horseman rode up. Mia’s maniacal laughter ceased,
and she stared with big, worshiping eyes at the newcomer, who shot down
the bandit.
The bandit died.
Lyn was a little slow. “What? An Arrow?”
“...” the rider said.
“Who are-” Lyn started to ask the rider his identity, but she was shoved
out of the way as Mia pushed past her, and tackled the rider off his
horse.
“....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled.
“...?! .....!!! .......!!!!!!!!!!” said the rider.
“...!! ........!!!!!!! ....!!!!!!!!!!” Mia replied.
“What are they saying?” Lyn asked.
Isis sighed. “Mia just squealed and glomped the guy, the guy just said
something about Mia weighing as much as a horse and that she was crushing
him, and for her to get off now, and then Mia said some weird
interjection and yelled something to the extent of ‘OMG! RATH INSULTED
ME!! I FEEL SO LOVED!!!”
“....?” Rath asked.
Mia nodded. “.....!!!! ..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..............!!!!!!!!!!! ...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“...”
^_^ “...”
“.........”
“Now what are they saying?”
“Rath asked her name, and she said she was Andromeda, Queen of the Bacon
Men of the Planet Meatgroup, and that she was going to invade and steal
all the fries. Then he just said regular old ... and she said yup and he
said that they needed to save the marquess. Now she’s saying that the
marquess is an ass but he said it didn’t matter he still needed to be
saved. He also told you to leave, because he didn’t save you for
nothing. Mia just explained that it was your fault and we would help.
Get ready for battle.”
O_o “But they didn’t say anything...” Kent said.
“Yes, they did, it’s the rather complicated language of ... and you’ll
need to know it because Rath doesn’t talk much...” Isis said.
“TO ARMS!!!” Lyn yelled, and everyone got ready for the battle.
~*~
The two shady figures from earlier crouched in front of a house. One of
them, the younger one, was busy picking a lock while the other kept an
eye out for possible interlopers.
A sharp snick was heard as the lock mechanism gave, and the two entered,
but they did not go unnoticed.
“You! What are you doing in my house?!” an old lady yelled at the
intruders.
“Peace!” said the younger of the two. “I mean no harm! It’s just, your
home offers a good view of the battle outside.”
“And a good hiding place from the demons that fight there,” said the
second, white-haired thief, who was peeking though a curtain to the
outside.
“Look, we’ll pay for the privilege. Please, just let us stay.”
“Like a vulture, are you? Terrible! Pay up! I’ll be hiding below, so
don’t bother me!” the lady said.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said the white-haired one.
“Now which side has the most to offer, do you think, Bakura?” asked the
sandy-haired thief. “You seem to know an awful lot about the lady’s
party.”
Bakura glared at his companion. “I know SOME of them, and I would
rather wish I didn’t.... but I would have a chance at stealing the
Millennium puzzle again...” He sighed. “The people who just got here,
the one’s with the Sacaen. Their the one’s we need.”
~*~
“I’m going to go to that house over there, see if we can enlist some aid
in unlocking the barracks. Anyone wanna come with?” Lyn asked.
Isis and Isa were fighting over who would go unlock the lower door and
who would go with Lyn.
Lyn rolled her eyes and dragged Isis out of the fray, while Isa
continued fighting with herself.
~*~
Knock, knock, knock.
Matthew moved to open the door, but Bakura sprang over to the door, and,
getting there first, blocked it, but not after nailing it shut with
several boards.
“Bakura, please move. We need the job, you know.”
Knock, knock, knock.
“BUT ~SHE~ IS WITH THE PERSON COMING TO HIRE US!! SHE CAN’T SEE ME!!!”
he yelled, with a crazed look in his eyes.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Why not?”
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!! SHE’S GONNA FIND ME AND BRING ME TO THE OTHERS
AND I’M GONNA DIE!!!!!”
Knock, knock, knock.
“What, did you kill someone?”
“Well, kinda, but no. You see, five thousand years ago, I kind robbed
this one guys tomb and stole him mummy and dragged it into his son’s
court and proclaiming my hate for the pharaoh and that I would get my
revenge and so forth, but you see, this guy got locked in this one gold
item, called the Millennium puzzle, and his reincarnation found it and
put it back together, because Ryou says that’s what you’re supposed to do
with puzzles, like that big one he had of the cat at home, but anyway, I
tried to steal the puzzle again so I could rule the world, but I failed
and now ‘Spike’ is probably gonna start yelling for the one guy to save
him, but that’s not the biggest of my problems, the pharaoh is just a
whelp, but the girls are the real terror!!!!”
-_- “You’re afraid of the girls?”
“Have you ever heard of fangirls?”
O_O “Go hide, I’ll deal with them.”
“Thanks. Luck to you,” Bakura said, and then went to find a place to
hide.
Bakura barely had time to hide when suddenly the door broke, and Lyn
stepped in, using Isis as a battering ram.
“KURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
!!!!!!!!!!!” Isis yelled, glomping Bakura into a wall.
“KURA!KURA!KURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
I KNEW YOU’D COME TO SAVE
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&n bsp; I LOVE
YOU!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Isis
screamed, hugging Bakura, who was starting to look... unconscious, from
lack of air and being tackled into a wall...
~*~
Isa looked up from the lock and swore. “SHE FOUND BAKURA?!?!?!?!?!?!”
She abandoned the lock she was picking and ran to find out where Bakura
was.
Everyone else who had been waiting for Isa to finish with the lock
stared.
“GET BACK HERE AND OPEN THE DAMNED DOOR!!!” Kent yelled, giving chase.
Mira shrugged and took a door key out of her pocket and unlocked the
door.
~*~
Lyn, Matthew, and Bakura watched the two insane ones cat fight, though
they could not see through the cartoon-y fighting cloud that hovered over
the combatants, all adorn with a sweat drop.
“Maybe we should go unlock that door... It sounds like Mia’s about to
bring the castle down around the Marquess’ head,” Lyn said.
Bakura sighed. “Sound like something she would do... Idiot.”
~*~One battle, many injuries from allied units, a few concussions, a
pile of rubble that was once the barracks, and one angry Marquess
later...~*~
There were a few people in the throne room, all waiting for the promised
aid from the Marquess. They were: Lyn, Sain, Kent, Rath, Seto, Mia, and
Mokuba. Everyone else was outside, either glomping Bakura or watching
said people glomp poor Bakura.
But back to the throne room.
Rath was explaining everything that happened in the battle, and how Lyn
& company helped to defeat the people. Then the Marquess told Rath to
leave and Rath left, Mia growled in warning at the Faggot, I mean
Marquess, and Seto grabbed her arm to keep her from killing someone.
Then Marquess Arafag, I mean Araphen, told them he wouldn’t be aiding
them or giving them any food.
“WHAT?!?! WHY YOU DIRTY MPHTER MPHTER!! MPHT?! MPHT MPHT MPHT!!!”
Mia yelled as Seto slapped duck tape on her mouth to block out the
profanity.
“NO FOOD?!?!?! Isis screamed from outside. “MPHTER-! MPHT?!
MPHT!!!!!!!” She *tried* to yell, but the duck tape kinda stopped her.
Kent tried a less profane approach. “Marquess Araphen!! You gave your
word, my lord!”
They then heard the yells of the angry mob of starved warriors
outside...
“BEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !”
O_o “Special...” Araphen said. “But your name is Kent, is it not? You
failed to inform me of one most vital detail!”
“What...? What do you mean?” Kent asked, dumbfounded.
“This girl does resemble Lady Madelyn, but... I did not expect to see
her so tainted with the blood of Sacae.”
“WHAT?!?!” Lyn screamed, looking demonic.
“Don’t you feel that Marquess Caelin would be distressed at meeting
this... nomadic mongrel?”
“WHAT??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Both Lyn and Sain(playboy)
yelled, again, looking demonic.
“NOMAD HATING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT
RATH?!?!?!?!?!?!” Mia yelled, ripping off the duck tape and struggling
to get free of Seto’s grip as he was the only thing holding her back from
killing the Marquess.
“HE INSULTED ME MORE!!!!!” Lyn yelled, being held back from her
intended victim by Kent, who was multitasking by whacking Sain
unconscious with his sword hilt.
“HE SAID TAINTED AND SACAE IN THE SAME FRICKIN’ SENTANCE, HE INSULTED
RATH, GUY, AND KAREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ME,
BECAUSE I’M A MYRMIDON, AND I WANT BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-MPHT-! MPHT?!?!
MPHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
&nb sp; You guessed it. Duck tape.
“Let’s put it this way... HE INSULTED ALL OF SACAE AND MUST
PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lyn yelled.
^_^ “Mpht,” Mia agreed.
But, both girls had forgotten, in their fury, that they had been held
back, and in Mia’s case, bound, gagged, and duck taped to a wall.
So you can guess how successful they were in their attempted assault and
battery.
Araphen stood just outside the reach of the newly formed Arafag-hating
cult. “Your man is poorly disciplined. And I can’t believe women would
act like that.”
“You DID diss them, and them being insane teenagers, despite the fact
that Lyn is technically an adult. If they get free you have a major
problem on your hands, because they’ll be a hell of a lot more trouble
than the angry mob outside, considering we saved your ass for absolutely
nothing,” Seto said. He was actually contemplating letting Mia fry the
sonofabitch that dared swindle THE Seto Kaiba out of a victory. We all
know he doesn’t do things out of the goodness of his non existent heart.
“Ah, all of you, fuck off,”
“MARQUESS ARAPHEN!!!”
“YOU FUCK OFF!!!!!!!” Mia shouted, jumping out of the duck tape and
rope cocoon Seto had placed her in.
“I LIVE HERE!!!!!!!!!!” The marquess shouted at the enraged girl.
“~I~ HELPED WIN THIS SHITTY HOVEL BACK FROM THE BASTARDS THAT TOOK IT!!!
YOU ARE IN ~MY~ DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“NO I’M NOT!!!!!! RATH LEAD THE PARTY THAT SAVED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“AND YOU SAID SOMETHING TO THE EXTENT OF NOMADS SUCK!!! HE DOESN’T HAVE
TO TAKE THAT SHIT FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“YES HE DOES BECAUSE I’M HIS EMPLOYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
O_O “...” Three, two one... “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MICHEL JACKSON OF FIRE
EMBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY SAVE
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!& nbsp; HE’S A
CHILD
MOLESTERER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!” she
yelled, and ran out the door.
Everyone was in various states of shock at the marquess and myrmidon
both swearing like sailors and then Mia running around yelling about a
child molesterer.
Everyone left.
~*~
“That... was freaky,” Lyn said
“But very well done. Who would have expected such a lady to swear like
that?” Sain said.
“You obviously don’t know her. She a fangirl, diss her love interest,
and face her wrath. She said the marquess was dissing the nomad, then
the marquess was dissing the nomad. Needless to say, he is mentally
traumatized, perhaps irreversibly,” Bakura said.
“No ones gonna miss him,” Matthew said.
“He owns me five rolls of duck tape...” Seto mumbled.
“You used THAT much?” Lyn asked.
“With Mia, Isis, Kyo, or Yumi, you need a lifetime supply of duck tape,”
Isa said.
Behind them, Isis, Kyo, and Yumi were duck taped to their mounts.
“Speaking of Mia, where is she?” Lyn asked.
~*~Araphen castle~*~
“Bah! Arrogant children. Women have no right acting like that... We
Lycian nobles will never understand those prideful savages,” the marquess
of Araphen said
Rath had walked in during this little embarrassing
talking-to-ones-self-thing, dragging someone behind him. “...........?”
he asked.
“DON’T CALL HIM ‘MILORD’!!!!!!!!!! HE’S A FAGGOT THAT’S MEAN AND EVIL
TO YOU AND ALL ~OUR~ PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HIM TO
MPHT-!!!!! MPHT?!?! MPHT!!!!!!!!!!” Mia said, or tried to, but the
duck tape Rath ‘confiscated’ from Seto stopped her.
“Oh, Rath! I didn’t see you there. What is ~she~ doing here?” Araphen
asked.
“.....”
“Snooping around, eh? We’ll deal with her later. But you must know, my
early comments do not reflect on you. You’re my captain. I’m proud of
you.”
“............................ ......................................?
......”
“Rath! How can you speak to me like that?”
‘Because you’re a faggot,’ Mia thought. ‘The definition of today’s gay
guy: thin and flaming. ... He’d better not be hitting on Rath.’
“I treat you well, don’t I? I have paid you well, and treated you
better then your kind deserves.”
“.....” Rath said, leaving, dragging Mia along behind him.
‘Couldn’t have said it better myself,’ Mia thought.
~*~
People were panicking. One of the people who could bring about the
apocalypse was missing in action (MIA, cool.), and everyone was either
worried or jealous.
Then Rath came riding up, leading a horse with a very... duck taped Mia
on it.
Lyn and Rath had their sappy moment, Mia glared at them through the
duration of the entire sappy moment, struggled out her duck taped prison,
and would have gone to drastic measures if Seto hadn’t forcefully removed
her from the area.
And so poor Rath could get some sleep without having to worry about the
evil fangirl coming to take him away...
~*~Araphen City*~
People were milling around like ants, the backdrop was fiery, and the
city was going up in smoke. It had been like this for hours.
The cause?
No one knew.
All anyone heard was a terrible voice singing “I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!!
WE’RE A HAPPY FAMILY! WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU!!
WON’T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO!!!”
A woman shrieked at a part of the tower fell behind her.
“TELETUBBIES!! TELETUBBIES!!!!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“SAVE US,
SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!”
“WE’RE ALL GONNA
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&r dquo;
A giant purple dinosaur, four huge, strange figures that could only have
been the teletubbies, and a giant Dora the Explorer were pillaging the
city.
Barney said “I LUV YOU!” and hugged a tower of the castle, crushing it.
The red teletubby started breathing fire on the city.
The green and yellow ones spat acid on the people.
The Purple one used its ice breath to decimate the city.
Dora hit people with her staff, then started to attack the castle.
Mia stood on a hill, overlooking the destruction, video camera in hand.
This was rich. She got her revenge on Arafag and destroyed a city at the
same time. Must be her lucky day.
And so the nomads got their revenge on the city of Araphen.
A/N: Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....
RATH!! !! Hehehehe...
Warning: Lot’s of fangirl-ish-ness, Rath worship, Bakura-sama-ism, and
Araphen hating. KILL THE EVIL ONE!!!! THE NOMAD-HATER MUST
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah. And lots of cussing. Araphen
is a potty mouth. It pisses Mia off. Mia retaliates.
Another A/N: THIS CHAPTER IS SACRED!!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME
TO FIND THE INSANITY ENOUGH TO BE WORTHY OF RATH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I AM
STILL NOT AS INSANE AS I WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just mostly look at
this chapter and shake my head wondering how I could write such
obscenities... Then I imagine Lord Fluffy-Sama in a Batman costume and
laugh... haha...
_______________________________________________________________ __________
_____
Chapter 8: Of Thieves, Nomads, and Fangirls
“We should be arriving in Araphen soon, and- Mia? Is something wrong?”
Kent asked.
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha....”
“Nope, everything’s fine,” Mira said.
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha....”
O_o “Are you sure? She’s scaring me,” Serra said.
“MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!”
-_- “Sis only laughs like that when something’s going well in her
schemes... something’s bound to happen soon...” Mokuba said.
Not much special happened in the city, and when Kent came back with news
that they would be provisioned, the peasants rejoiced at the thought of
food.
Except Mia, who still had that menacing look in her eyes as she watched
Araphen Castle.
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......”
Then came the terrible news that the castle was under attack.
The people panic.
Two shady fellows made their way to a house that someone had fled to
earlier when the bad news came.
Mia laughed maniacally.
Everyone left outside stared.
“Mia...” Lyn asked. “Do you have anything to do with that fire?”
“Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha....”
“That’s a... no, If I’ve translated correctly... but there’s something
else to the laugh... Someone’s coming,” Isis said.
A bandit jumped out of nowhere. “You’re Lyndis, aren’t you?”
Lyn shrieked. “AH! What do you-”
“No questions! Prepare yourself!” And the bandit charged...
“HEY!” Lyn screamed.
All of the sudden a horseman rode up. Mia’s maniacal laughter ceased,
and she stared with big, worshiping eyes at the newcomer, who shot down
the bandit.
The bandit died.
Lyn was a little slow. “What? An Arrow?”
“...” the rider said.
“Who are-” Lyn started to ask the rider his identity, but she was shoved
out of the way as Mia pushed past her, and tackled the rider off his
horse.
“....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled.
“...?! .....!!! .......!!!!!!!!!!” said the rider.
“...!! ........!!!!!!! ....!!!!!!!!!!” Mia replied.
“What are they saying?” Lyn asked.
Isis sighed. “Mia just squealed and glomped the guy, the guy just said
something about Mia weighing as much as a horse and that she was crushing
him, and for her to get off now, and then Mia said some weird
interjection and yelled something to the extent of ‘OMG! RATH INSULTED
ME!! I FEEL SO LOVED!!!”
“....?” Rath asked.
Mia nodded. “.....!!!! ..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..............!!!!!!!!!!! ...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“...”
^_^ “...”
“.........”
“Now what are they saying?”
“Rath asked her name, and she said she was Andromeda, Queen of the Bacon
Men of the Planet Meatgroup, and that she was going to invade and steal
all the fries. Then he just said regular old ... and she said yup and he
said that they needed to save the marquess. Now she’s saying that the
marquess is an ass but he said it didn’t matter he still needed to be
saved. He also told you to leave, because he didn’t save you for
nothing. Mia just explained that it was your fault and we would help.
Get ready for battle.”
O_o “But they didn’t say anything...” Kent said.
“Yes, they did, it’s the rather complicated language of ... and you’ll
need to know it because Rath doesn’t talk much...” Isis said.
“TO ARMS!!!” Lyn yelled, and everyone got ready for the battle.
~*~
The two shady figures from earlier crouched in front of a house. One of
them, the younger one, was busy picking a lock while the other kept an
eye out for possible interlopers.
A sharp snick was heard as the lock mechanism gave, and the two entered,
but they did not go unnoticed.
“You! What are you doing in my house?!” an old lady yelled at the
intruders.
“Peace!” said the younger of the two. “I mean no harm! It’s just, your
home offers a good view of the battle outside.”
“And a good hiding place from the demons that fight there,” said the
second, white-haired thief, who was peeking though a curtain to the
outside.
“Look, we’ll pay for the privilege. Please, just let us stay.”
“Like a vulture, are you? Terrible! Pay up! I’ll be hiding below, so
don’t bother me!” the lady said.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said the white-haired one.
“Now which side has the most to offer, do you think, Bakura?” asked the
sandy-haired thief. “You seem to know an awful lot about the lady’s
party.”
Bakura glared at his companion. “I know SOME of them, and I would
rather wish I didn’t.... but I would have a chance at stealing the
Millennium puzzle again...” He sighed. “The people who just got here,
the one’s with the Sacaen. Their the one’s we need.”
~*~
“I’m going to go to that house over there, see if we can enlist some aid
in unlocking the barracks. Anyone wanna come with?” Lyn asked.
Isis and Isa were fighting over who would go unlock the lower door and
who would go with Lyn.
Lyn rolled her eyes and dragged Isis out of the fray, while Isa
continued fighting with herself.
~*~
Knock, knock, knock.
Matthew moved to open the door, but Bakura sprang over to the door, and,
getting there first, blocked it, but not after nailing it shut with
several boards.
“Bakura, please move. We need the job, you know.”
Knock, knock, knock.
“BUT ~SHE~ IS WITH THE PERSON COMING TO HIRE US!! SHE CAN’T SEE ME!!!”
he yelled, with a crazed look in his eyes.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Why not?”
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!! SHE’S GONNA FIND ME AND BRING ME TO THE OTHERS
AND I’M GONNA DIE!!!!!”
Knock, knock, knock.
“What, did you kill someone?”
“Well, kinda, but no. You see, five thousand years ago, I kind robbed
this one guys tomb and stole him mummy and dragged it into his son’s
court and proclaiming my hate for the pharaoh and that I would get my
revenge and so forth, but you see, this guy got locked in this one gold
item, called the Millennium puzzle, and his reincarnation found it and
put it back together, because Ryou says that’s what you’re supposed to do
with puzzles, like that big one he had of the cat at home, but anyway, I
tried to steal the puzzle again so I could rule the world, but I failed
and now ‘Spike’ is probably gonna start yelling for the one guy to save
him, but that’s not the biggest of my problems, the pharaoh is just a
whelp, but the girls are the real terror!!!!”
-_- “You’re afraid of the girls?”
“Have you ever heard of fangirls?”
O_O “Go hide, I’ll deal with them.”
“Thanks. Luck to you,” Bakura said, and then went to find a place to
hide.
Bakura barely had time to hide when suddenly the door broke, and Lyn
stepped in, using Isis as a battering ram.
“KURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
!!!!!!!!!!!” Isis yelled, glomping Bakura into a wall.
“KURA!KURA!KURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
I KNEW YOU’D COME TO SAVE
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&n bsp; I LOVE
YOU!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Isis
screamed, hugging Bakura, who was starting to look... unconscious, from
lack of air and being tackled into a wall...
~*~
Isa looked up from the lock and swore. “SHE FOUND BAKURA?!?!?!?!?!?!”
She abandoned the lock she was picking and ran to find out where Bakura
was.
Everyone else who had been waiting for Isa to finish with the lock
stared.
“GET BACK HERE AND OPEN THE DAMNED DOOR!!!” Kent yelled, giving chase.
Mira shrugged and took a door key out of her pocket and unlocked the
door.
~*~
Lyn, Matthew, and Bakura watched the two insane ones cat fight, though
they could not see through the cartoon-y fighting cloud that hovered over
the combatants, all adorn with a sweat drop.
“Maybe we should go unlock that door... It sounds like Mia’s about to
bring the castle down around the Marquess’ head,” Lyn said.
Bakura sighed. “Sound like something she would do... Idiot.”
~*~One battle, many injuries from allied units, a few concussions, a
pile of rubble that was once the barracks, and one angry Marquess
later...~*~
There were a few people in the throne room, all waiting for the promised
aid from the Marquess. They were: Lyn, Sain, Kent, Rath, Seto, Mia, and
Mokuba. Everyone else was outside, either glomping Bakura or watching
said people glomp poor Bakura.
But back to the throne room.
Rath was explaining everything that happened in the battle, and how Lyn
& company helped to defeat the people. Then the Marquess told Rath to
leave and Rath left, Mia growled in warning at the Faggot, I mean
Marquess, and Seto grabbed her arm to keep her from killing someone.
Then Marquess Arafag, I mean Araphen, told them he wouldn’t be aiding
them or giving them any food.
“WHAT?!?! WHY YOU DIRTY MPHTER MPHTER!! MPHT?! MPHT MPHT MPHT!!!”
Mia yelled as Seto slapped duck tape on her mouth to block out the
profanity.
“NO FOOD?!?!?! Isis screamed from outside. “MPHTER-! MPHT?!
MPHT!!!!!!!” She *tried* to yell, but the duck tape kinda stopped her.
Kent tried a less profane approach. “Marquess Araphen!! You gave your
word, my lord!”
They then heard the yells of the angry mob of starved warriors
outside...
“BEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !”
O_o “Special...” Araphen said. “But your name is Kent, is it not? You
failed to inform me of one most vital detail!”
“What...? What do you mean?” Kent asked, dumbfounded.
“This girl does resemble Lady Madelyn, but... I did not expect to see
her so tainted with the blood of Sacae.”
“WHAT?!?!” Lyn screamed, looking demonic.
“Don’t you feel that Marquess Caelin would be distressed at meeting
this... nomadic mongrel?”
“WHAT??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Both Lyn and Sain(playboy)
yelled, again, looking demonic.
“NOMAD HATING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT
RATH?!?!?!?!?!?!” Mia yelled, ripping off the duck tape and struggling
to get free of Seto’s grip as he was the only thing holding her back from
killing the Marquess.
“HE INSULTED ME MORE!!!!!” Lyn yelled, being held back from her
intended victim by Kent, who was multitasking by whacking Sain
unconscious with his sword hilt.
“HE SAID TAINTED AND SACAE IN THE SAME FRICKIN’ SENTANCE, HE INSULTED
RATH, GUY, AND KAREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ME,
BECAUSE I’M A MYRMIDON, AND I WANT BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-MPHT-! MPHT?!?!
MPHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
&nb sp; You guessed it. Duck tape.
“Let’s put it this way... HE INSULTED ALL OF SACAE AND MUST
PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lyn yelled.
^_^ “Mpht,” Mia agreed.
But, both girls had forgotten, in their fury, that they had been held
back, and in Mia’s case, bound, gagged, and duck taped to a wall.
So you can guess how successful they were in their attempted assault and
battery.
Araphen stood just outside the reach of the newly formed Arafag-hating
cult. “Your man is poorly disciplined. And I can’t believe women would
act like that.”
“You DID diss them, and them being insane teenagers, despite the fact
that Lyn is technically an adult. If they get free you have a major
problem on your hands, because they’ll be a hell of a lot more trouble
than the angry mob outside, considering we saved your ass for absolutely
nothing,” Seto said. He was actually contemplating letting Mia fry the
sonofabitch that dared swindle THE Seto Kaiba out of a victory. We all
know he doesn’t do things out of the goodness of his non existent heart.
“Ah, all of you, fuck off,”
“MARQUESS ARAPHEN!!!”
“YOU FUCK OFF!!!!!!!” Mia shouted, jumping out of the duck tape and
rope cocoon Seto had placed her in.
“I LIVE HERE!!!!!!!!!!” The marquess shouted at the enraged girl.
“~I~ HELPED WIN THIS SHITTY HOVEL BACK FROM THE BASTARDS THAT TOOK IT!!!
YOU ARE IN ~MY~ DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“NO I’M NOT!!!!!! RATH LEAD THE PARTY THAT SAVED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“AND YOU SAID SOMETHING TO THE EXTENT OF NOMADS SUCK!!! HE DOESN’T HAVE
TO TAKE THAT SHIT FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“YES HE DOES BECAUSE I’M HIS EMPLOYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
O_O “...” Three, two one... “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MICHEL JACKSON OF FIRE
EMBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY SAVE
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!& nbsp; HE’S A
CHILD
MOLESTERER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!” she
yelled, and ran out the door.
Everyone was in various states of shock at the marquess and myrmidon
both swearing like sailors and then Mia running around yelling about a
child molesterer.
Everyone left.
~*~
“That... was freaky,” Lyn said
“But very well done. Who would have expected such a lady to swear like
that?” Sain said.
“You obviously don’t know her. She a fangirl, diss her love interest,
and face her wrath. She said the marquess was dissing the nomad, then
the marquess was dissing the nomad. Needless to say, he is mentally
traumatized, perhaps irreversibly,” Bakura said.
“No ones gonna miss him,” Matthew said.
“He owns me five rolls of duck tape...” Seto mumbled.
“You used THAT much?” Lyn asked.
“With Mia, Isis, Kyo, or Yumi, you need a lifetime supply of duck tape,”
Isa said.
Behind them, Isis, Kyo, and Yumi were duck taped to their mounts.
“Speaking of Mia, where is she?” Lyn asked.
~*~Araphen castle~*~
“Bah! Arrogant children. Women have no right acting like that... We
Lycian nobles will never understand those prideful savages,” the marquess
of Araphen said
Rath had walked in during this little embarrassing
talking-to-ones-self-thing, dragging someone behind him. “...........?”
he asked.
“DON’T CALL HIM ‘MILORD’!!!!!!!!!! HE’S A FAGGOT THAT’S MEAN AND EVIL
TO YOU AND ALL ~OUR~ PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HIM TO
MPHT-!!!!! MPHT?!?! MPHT!!!!!!!!!!” Mia said, or tried to, but the
duck tape Rath ‘confiscated’ from Seto stopped her.
“Oh, Rath! I didn’t see you there. What is ~she~ doing here?” Araphen
asked.
“.....”
“Snooping around, eh? We’ll deal with her later. But you must know, my
early comments do not reflect on you. You’re my captain. I’m proud of
you.”
“............................ ......................................?
......”
“Rath! How can you speak to me like that?”
‘Because you’re a faggot,’ Mia thought. ‘The definition of today’s gay
guy: thin and flaming. ... He’d better not be hitting on Rath.’
“I treat you well, don’t I? I have paid you well, and treated you
better then your kind deserves.”
“.....” Rath said, leaving, dragging Mia along behind him.
‘Couldn’t have said it better myself,’ Mia thought.
~*~
People were panicking. One of the people who could bring about the
apocalypse was missing in action (MIA, cool.), and everyone was either
worried or jealous.
Then Rath came riding up, leading a horse with a very... duck taped Mia
on it.
Lyn and Rath had their sappy moment, Mia glared at them through the
duration of the entire sappy moment, struggled out her duck taped prison,
and would have gone to drastic measures if Seto hadn’t forcefully removed
her from the area.
And so poor Rath could get some sleep without having to worry about the
evil fangirl coming to take him away...
~*~Araphen City*~
People were milling around like ants, the backdrop was fiery, and the
city was going up in smoke. It had been like this for hours.
The cause?
No one knew.
All anyone heard was a terrible voice singing “I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!!
WE’RE A HAPPY FAMILY! WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU!!
WON’T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO!!!”
A woman shrieked at a part of the tower fell behind her.
“TELETUBBIES!! TELETUBBIES!!!!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“SAVE US,
SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!”
“WE’RE ALL GONNA
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&r dquo;
A giant purple dinosaur, four huge, strange figures that could only have
been the teletubbies, and a giant Dora the Explorer were pillaging the
city.
Barney said “I LUV YOU!” and hugged a tower of the castle, crushing it.
The red teletubby started breathing fire on the city.
The green and yellow ones spat acid on the people.
The Purple one used its ice breath to decimate the city.
Dora hit people with her staff, then started to attack the castle.
Mia stood on a hill, overlooking the destruction, video camera in hand.
This was rich. She got her revenge on Arafag and destroyed a city at the
same time. Must be her lucky day.
And so the nomads got their revenge on the city of Araphen.