Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction ❯ lets protect the tent ❯ Ooooooh... pretty fire... expecially when it burns people... ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Disclaimer: Lalalala I can’t hear you... or Serra for that matter...
*shivers* the Fire Emblem version of the Anti-Christ.
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Chapter 7: Ooooooh... pretty fire... expecially when it burns people...
bwhahahaha....

    “THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!  IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!
SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY’LL KEEP
ON SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE!  THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!
IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!  SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT NOT
KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY’LL KEEP ON SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE!
THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!  IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!  SOME
PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY’LL KEEP ON
SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE!  THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!  IT
GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!  SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING
WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY’LL KEEP ON SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE!  THIS
IS THE SONG THAT NEV-”

    “SHUT IT, YOU IDIOTS!!!  YOU’RE GOING TO DRIVE ME INSANE!!!!!!” Lyn and
Seto yelled at the same time, both looking demonic and... evilly
similar... creepy.

    Mia, Isis, Yumi, Wil, and Sain shut up very quickly.  Kyi and Florina
stopped humming.  A bird overhead stopped flying.  Everyone around the
world stopped and looked up at the sound of the voices.

    “... I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,” Isis began.

    “NO SINGING!!!!”

    “SHUT UP!!!”

    “YOU!”

    “I TOLD YOU FIRST!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I DID!!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I DID!!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I DID!!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I DID!!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I DID!!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I DID!!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I DID!!!!”

    “NO YOU DIDN’T!!”

    “YES I
DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!”
Isis shouted at the top of her lungs.

    A bird overhead died.  Forests were flattened.  Mountains fell.  Cities
were demolished.  Dogs howled.  Babies cried.  Glass shattered.  In a far
away city a certain purple-haired shaman’s monocle broke.

    “Gah...” Seto said before he passed out. X_X

    “Weeeee....” was Lyns last words. X.X

    “I... think... I’m... deaf....” Mia said, falling to the ground. @_@

    “WHAT?!?!?  I CAN’T HEAR YOU!  SPEAK UP!!!!” Sain yelled. ^o^

    Mokuba was unconscious. @_@

    Wil... was looking a little like Isis during math class... meaning
spaced out and almost dead-asleep. *.@

    Mira was convulsing a few feet away. *  . *

    Isa was stuck in a tree.  X_x

    No one knew where Dorcas went, but their were many Dorcas-shaped holes
in some of the trees...

    Florina, Kyi, and Yumi had been blown away.

    Isis... was fine, except for the fact that she was downing in a million
sweatdrops.

    ~*~

    “Hey, did ye’ he’r tha’?” said Bandit #1.

    “Yeah, I ‘eard et.  ‘Ard not to, seein’ as IT TOPPLED THIS HERE
FOREST!!” Bug yelled at his lacky.

    “I think it’s them trouble makers tryin’ to cross the boarder!!” said
Bandit #2.

    “No, ya’ think?!” Bug yelled... again.  “After ‘em!!!”

    ~*~

    “ERKY!!  MY FEET HURT!!” the obnoxious cleric complained.

    “SERRA!!  MY EARS HURT!!” said another cleric.

    “First off, you don’t need your ears to walk unless you’re that retarded
elephant, and second, I WAS TALKING TO ERK!!!  NOT YOU, HAIR BALL!!!!”
Serra said, whacking the other cleric over the hear with her staff.

    Kyo parried the blow, and was about to crack her staff over the other
cleric’s head, when the refs called foul...

    “STOP IT, YOU TWO!!” Yugi said, trying, despite his size, to pull the
angry cleric away from her intended victim.  “ERK, HELP ME!!!!”

    The other mage wasted no time in trying to sling-shot the pink haired
devil in the back of the head.  Unfortunately, he failed, leaving Yugi to
hold back the very angry Kyo from Serra, who stood just outside of the
other cleric’s line of fire.

    Finaly Yugi just whacked them both over the head with a Fire tome,
leaving Kyo unconscious, but Serra only slightly phased.

    At least it brought her focus to the important matter...

    “Ooooh... We’re lost.  This makes me so mad!!!!”

    “But you said this was the right direction!” Yugi yelled in his Yugi-ish
way.

    “So?  Your point?” Serra said, then laughed are her lame joke.

    Erk sighed.  “I swear you are NOT the women I agreed to escort.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “I heard someone was needed to escort two frail Lycian Priestesses to
Ostia...”

    “I heard that, too,” Yugi said.  “But normally Kyo isn’t this bad...”

    “That’s definitely without a doubt us,” Serra said.

    “Frail? You two?  Serra, you, at least, have no need of an escort.  The
most hardened criminal would flee in terror after five minutes of your
company...”

    “OH!  I KNOW!! LOCK HER IN A ROOM WITH MICHEL JACKSON!!”  Kyo said,
coming awake.  “It’s like a reality game show, like Survivor: Michel
Jackson, Who can spend one hour with the Nose without being molested?  So
far: None.  Who else will dare this challenge?” she said in a game voice.

    O_o “That might be a little harsh...” Yugi said.

    “For who?” Kyo asked.

    “Whoever this ‘Jackson’ person is, I pray for him if you plan on doing
that,” Erk said.

    “Ew... You’re praying for a gay child molesterer?!”

    O_O “Let’s put it this way, they’d be good company for each other.  On
to other matters, Serra, I’ll return your money, but will you please go
on to Ostia alone?”

    “NO!  You’re MY escort!  MINE!!!  Besides, a noble woman like myself
can’t be seen without a proper escort,” Serra said.

    ‘Serra is a lesbian child molesterer?’ Kyo thought.

    “Noblewoman my butt...” Yugi muttered.

    Serra didn’t hear that last comment.  “Your personality’s nothing
special, but you’re not bad to look at.”

    “I believe that’s my line.  And I have to take you all the way to Ostia?
I only hope my nerves can endure the journey...” Erk said.

    “They won’t,” Yugi said dejectedly.  “I know people like her.  Only just
barely less annoying, but definitely more insane.  Sorry to say it, but
you’ll never last.”

    “Thanks for the support.”

    “You’re welcome,” said Kyo, smiling.

    “I never got anything from you to thank you for,” Erk said.

    “No, you did, you just don’t know it.  I’m more insane when I’m around
my friends.  My very fickle friends.  If they find you interesting,
they’ll be all over you like a bad itch.  But, at least they’ll keep
Serra away.  It’ll work especially well if you dye your hair silver or
purple, but fangirls are the best defense in the world.”

    “HEY, SOMETHING’S HAPPENING OVER THERE!!!  LET’S TAKE A LOOK!!”  Serra
yelled.

    “Here we go again,” Yugi said.

    “Like the energizer bunny... going and going and going to die...” Kyo
said.

    “No amount of money is worth this...” said poor, poor Erk.

    ~*~

    Now let’s take a look at what Isis is doing.

    O_O “Um... guys?  Wake up...  There are these bandits, and you got to be
fighting them...  Come on!  Stop being all unconscious and HELP ME!!!!!”

    ...

    Suddenly about ten people with buckets walked over and dumped the water
on the unconscious people.  Two people appeared dragging an only semi
conscious Dorcas, and three more people were leading the three pegasi
with the unconscious knights.  Isa’s tree is cut down...

    Five minutes later...

    “Now, Isis, what have le learned?” Lyn asked.

    “No more super-sonic screeching.  Got it,” she said.

    ~*~

    “Wow!  A FIGHT! A FIGHT!  ERK!  TAKE A LOOK!” Serra screeched.

    “JERRY!  JERRY!  JERRY!” Kyo chanted.

    “Fools!  The both of you, keep your voices down!” Erk yelled.

    “What have we here?  You in league with that she-devil?” asked Bandit
#1.

    “I’d reckon they are,” said Bandit #2.

    “Then let’s get ‘em!!” shouted Bandit #1.

    “Eeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!  Eeeeeeeeeeeek!!  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!”
Serra cried.

    “I KNOW NOTHING!!  THE PINK ONE DID IT!!  I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH
IT!!!!”  Kyo yelled.

    “Gah...” Yugi said, as Kyo pushed him forward, shoving a composition
book into his hands with “FIRE!!  FEAR MY SQUIRRLY WRATH!!” written on
it.

    Erk walked forward, not needing prompting to get away from Serra.  He
handed Yugi a regular Fire Tome.  Who knows what the one Kyo gave him
would do?

    Well, the two mages verses the two bandits, who will win?

    Well, one was an archer and the other had a hand ax.  Both little mages
were stupid and attacked from a distance.  Both got hit... both were not
very hurt.

    ~*~

    “Hey!  I recognize that Jerry chant!  It’s Kyo!!!” Isis yelled.

    “And that terrible, piercing cry of agony!  That could only be Yugi
getting hit with a hand ax!” Yumi yelled.

    “How do you know what Yugi sounds like when he’s hit with a hand ax?”
Kyi asked.

    “Mira.”

    “Ah.”

    The only person that seemed to do anything about the subjects of the
conversation was Lyn, who had already left to talk to them.

    “Um...  Hello?”  Lyn said.

    “Hm?” 

    “... Why are you fighting these bandits?”

    “...It just happened...” said the normal looking one.

    “They dragged us into it...” said the tri-color-haired short dude.

    Lyn looked at the white haired Cleric poking gleefully at the burnt
carcass of Bandit #2 with the end of her staff.

    “Um... Is your name Kyo, by any chance?” Lyn asked her.

    The girl stood up, stalk straight.  “STALKERS!!!!!  STALKERS!!!!!” she
yelled, throwing her arms in the air and running around it circles.

    Trident-head sighed.  “That means yes.”

    “Oh.  Well, some people were looking for her, and you, if your name is
Yugi.”

    “That’s me,” he said, sighing.  “YUMI!!!  PLEASE STOP BOTHERING THE
NATIVES!!!  YOU’RE GONNA SEND THEM TO THE MENTAL ASYLUM!!!”

    “NO, THEY WERE INSANE TO BEGIN WITH!!!  MIA AND ISIS FOUND THEM
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!”

    “OH!!!  THEY’RE HERE TOO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

    “AND MIRA AND ISA AND KYI AND SETO AND MOKUBA AND JOEY AND ...  THAT’S
ALL BESIDES YOU AND KYO!!!!  AND ME, BUT WHATEVER!!!”

    “OK!!!  MIND IF WE HELP OUT A BIT?!?!”

    “NAW, I FIGURE MIRA’S GONNA RUN OUT OF DIGESTIVE ACID SOON AND EVERYONE
ELSE’LL HAVE TO FIGHT AGAIN!!!”

    “MIRA EATS PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

    “DUH!!!!!  WHAT ELSE WAS SHE GONNA DO WITH YAMI’S SPLEEN?!?!?!?!”

    Yugi... turned and interesting shade of pale green, vomited, and
fainted.

    And now, another two people were added to this ever-so-interesting
quest.

    ONWARDS, BRAVE SOULS!!