Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ Legendary Fisherman, Pt. 1 ( Chapter 66 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
*Author's Note: Having read many different people's random As If!-style scenes, I'm sometimes startled by how different their styles are from my own. Even aside from the humor -- which of course is personal -- I find very impressive the different versions people have of writing the "Scene" lines -- even Sasha Janre-Ishtar, who filled in for me for two chapters, writes Scene: *blah* instead of *Scene: blah.*, changing the order as well as leaving out the period at the end. And of course, even I myself have to constantly look up that my standard capitalization is "Life Points" and "Defense Mode," and also "attack points" and "magic card." So how can I really blame people for not understanding the madness to my method? (P.S. Yes, I DID just list all that as a handy reference for myself, as it happens.)

In other news, this chapter is dedicated to Manda as a belated birthday present! She requested one with some Yami Bakura/Malik stuff... I hope this suffices! And it's only 51 weeks late... not bad, in the scheme of things, really. So happy birthday, Manda!*

*Scene: We find our dark hero running down a deserted street.*

Yugi: *thinking* My friends are in danger! I gotta find 'em before Marik's Rare Hunters do! *stops short as he finds his way blocked by two Rare Hunters*

Lumis: Going somewhere? If you'd like to rescue your friends, you'll have to make it past us first!

Yami: Why would I want to go that way? If you've captured them, I doubt you'll be more talkative once I've beaten you, and if you haven't found them yet, why would I want to look where you've already searched?

Umbra: Um, well, that is... because...

Lumis: Dammit, Marik didn't tell us you'd argue!

*Scene: Yami speaks awfully clearly, considering that he's been running around for a while. I guess he really is in a lot better shape than Yugi.*

Yami: *growling* Listen carefully... I WILL GET PAST!

*The Rare Hunters, who'd been leaning forward to hear, jump back, startled.*

Lumis: Agh! *rubs his ear*

Umbra: ... *leans down to whisper in Lumis's ear* So what'd he just say?

Lumis: I don't know, he was shouting too loudly.

*Yami growls incomprehensibly, making the Rare Hunters look at each other, confused.*

*Scene: The Rare Hunters try to decide who should duel first by, as any good anime fan should know, a good, old-fashioned, logical game of... Janken. Thankfully, Kaiba shows up to suggest a double duel, as the Rare Hunters are far too stupid to understand their own decision-making process.*

Umbra: We accept your challenge!

Lumis: We'll win both their Egyptian God Cards at once!

Kaiba: *loading his deck* You two won't win, you got it? But it is true that the losing pair will hand over their rarest cards and locator cards to the winners. And if you two pathetic fools believe you'll be taking our Egyptian God Cards away, you obviously don't know who you're dealing with -- two people with Egyptian God Cards!

*Scene: Yami's so coy, the way he leads Kaiba on at Kaiba's threatened challenge.*

Kaiba: Let's go! It's time to duel! *a gust of wind blows the Life Point counters in*

Lumis: Who shall begin?

Umbra: I'd say this calls for another game of Rock, Paper, Scissors!

Lumis: Yes! A four-way game!

*Yami's growl takes on a slightly hysterical, trembling edge*

*Scene: The Rare Hunters suggest that Kaiba go first.*

Kaiba: Conquering you two chumps won't take very long at all! Trust me. *draws a single card, and plays it* I play the magic card Pot of Greed! It allows me to draw two cards from my deck.

Yami: Uh, Kaiba? You do know that you're allowed to draw five cards automatically at the start of a duel, right?

Kaiba: ...uh, yeah. Of course. Obviously. ...

*Scene: Kaiba obviously draws well, as his other seven cards contain some impressively neat things.*

Kaiba: Next I'll summon a monster known as the Lord of Dragons! Now, I'll add not one, but two Flutes of Summoning Dragons!

Umbra: But what's the point of all this, anyway?!

Lumis: Yeah!

Kaiba: Any amateur knows that one Flute can summon two Dragons to the dueling field, so since I have two Flutes I can summon four Dragons!

Lord of Dragons: *puts both Flutes to his lips at once and blows, creating an awful screeching sound*

Kaiba: ...er, well, in theory, anyway...

*A/N: After my big rant at the beginning about capitalization, I feel it only butt-coveri-n-g-er, I mean, fair to say that "Dragons" is based on Sasha assuring me, "ahhh, it's Kaiba. He'd capitalize them." So the blame for this goes on her head!*

*Scene: Kaiba plays three Blue-Eyes White Dragons and something called "Hyozanryu" by the closed captions.*

Kaiba: I hope you realize this is just the beginning of what my deck has in store for you. It gets better. So please feel free to forfeit the duel at any time.

Lumis: No! I may wind up doing that, but I will feel very guilty and ashamed if I do!

*Scene: This duel is just too easy to mock.*

Lumis: I hope you've got a plan!

Umbra: *nods* Mm-hmm! *thinking* As a matter of fact, I do! And once we destroy them, we'll hand both of their Egyptian God Card to Master Marik! *chuckles evilly*

Yami: *baffled* But you just admitted out loud that you had a plan! If you already let that slip, why didn't you say the rest aloud, too?

Umbra: ... *twitches* Is everyone but me psychic these days?!

*Scene: Umbra draws the actually rather useful Mirror Force card.*

Umbra: The first thing that I'll do is place this one trap card facedown! Then a monster in Defense Mode.

Kaiba: If you're trying to lay a trap, you're wasting your time and mine.

Yami: Be careful, Kaiba. Rare Hunters can be cunning. He might be laying a trap!

Umbra: *thinking* Haha, the fools! They'll never figure out that was a trap card I just played!

Some random passing bird: Baka! Baka!

*A/N: This joke apparently stolen from Naruto, though it's only a minor modification to what I came up with on my own. But credit where it's due, y'know.*

*Scene: Kaiba advises Yami to stand back, which he does without moving his head, arms, or, for that matter, legs.*

Kaiba: Now, prepare to meet a creature like none you've ever met before! I'll sacrifice my three Blue-Eyes! Go, my great beasts! So I can summon my Egyptian God Card, an almighty creature that knows no equal! *does so with a flashing light show* Behold its absolute power!

Lumis: Oh, no!

Yami: *actually sweating* What's that?!

Kaiba: *surprised that Yugi's actually impressed by that* Um, my almighty Egyptian God Card, maybe?

*Scene: Obelisk blasts through Lumis and Umbra in one shot, and DG feels it's time for a recap.*

Yugi: *thinking* My friends are in danger! I gotta find 'em before Marik's Rare Hunters do!


Kaiba: As soon as you two are out of the way, I'm dueling you, Yugi!


Yami: I must get past them to find my friends!


Kaiba: It'll be over soon. Then our duel can begin.

Yami: First I must make sure my friends are safe.


Yami: I appreciate your assistance, Kaiba. Now I can find my friends.

Kaiba: Then we duel.

Yami: *grabs Lumis* Tell me now! Where are my friends?!


Yami: I must make sure my friends are alright!


Kaiba: I'll help you find your little group of cronies. Then be ready for our duel, Yugi.

*A/N: Everyone caught up? Fantastic!*

*Scene: We find Mako in an aquarium, bragging about his skills at shooting fish in a barrel -- er, I mean, catching fish in a tank. A carnivorous whale is about to give him an honorable end when a woman suddenly shows up to berate him, and just as suddenly faints. His attempt at harikari is postponed as he leaps out from the whale's teeth to save her.*

Mako: *feeling her forehead* You are burning up!

Woman: But what about the Ocean World show? *stands* I have to be in it... *falls again*

Mako: *catches her* Not in the state that you're in.

Woman: But I'm the only person here the whales will obey!

Mako: Fear not! We'll just cancel the show, saying that the whale is sick, and no-one will fault you for looking after the health of your animals!

*Scene: A less realistic approach.*

Woman: But I'm the only person here the whales will obey! As you can see, they'll viciously attack everyone if they can't perform! It'll be a slaughter!

*Scene: This is a fun scene to do again, and again, and again...!*

Mako: Fear not! For I am one with the sea and all the creatures that inhabit it! I can do your show!

Woman: *eyes closed* Sure, whatever you say, Mr. Easter Bunny... have a great flight... *passes out*

Mako: ... *blinks and shrugs* I'd say that counts as a ringing endorsement!

*Scene: Marik rides along on his motorcycle, and is the first guy to give me an instant negative reaction to seeing him in goggles.*

Marik: *thinking* Soon I shall reach the center of Battle City! Then it won't be long until the limitless power of the Pharaoh himself belongs to me! After that, I can drive right on through to the suburbs of Battle City. The new Krispy Kreme they just opened up there will be the perfect end to my day!

*Scene: Joey-tachi runs into (Yami) Bakura, but has the attention span of a gnat and quickly becomes more interested in a sign by the aquarium than giving (Yami) Bakura vital information.*

Téa: Hey, check it out! Look, guys! Isn't that Mako Tsunami?

Tristan: Yeah! He should be dueling, not performing with Shamu!

Joey: *taking this as a personal insult* You're right! Let's find 'im! Then... I'll challenge him to a duel! *runs off*

Téa: Hey, Joey! That's not nice! Don't go kick him while he's down!

Tristan: Yeah, if he's been kicked out of the tournament, let him perform in peace, man!

*Scene: Joey-tachi runs off, so Yami Bakura resumes control.*

Yami Bakura: *thinking with a vicious smirk* Play your foolish games while I become the most powerful being in the world!

Bakura: *mentally; cautiously * Um, Yami? Might it be alright if I took over again for a moment? That was some really nice artwork on that sign...

Yami Bakura: *scoffs and turns to look at it again* Bah! Don't be ridicu... hey, that actually is pretty nice.

Bakura: Yeah, isn't it? ^_^

*Scene: Joey and Téa barge into the aquarium, presumably without paying admission.*

Joey: *looking around frantically* So, do ya see 'im?!

Téa: He's the one on the whale? *looks at Joey like he's an idiot*

Joey: A whale?! What the heck's he doin' on a whale?!

Téa: ...you can't even tell me you can't read, because there was a picture on the sign!!

Joey: ...sign? I don't see any signs in here, Téa.

Téa: ARGH!! *throws her hands in the air and storms out in frustration*

Tristan: ... *shrugs* If that was what you were going for, it worked pretty well, man.

*Scene: Mako takes a time-out from his show to chat with Joey-tachi, perhaps just to enjoy splashing them with water.*

Téa: What are you doing performing at the aquarium, Mako? We thought you'd be here dueling!

Mako: I am here to duel, and win, but my kinship with the sea was needed first!

Téa: "Kinship with the sea"? Oh, so is that how your hair stays so spiky, even after you get all wet?

Mako: Yes, but of course!

Téa: *smirking down at Joey* Better hope that "magical water" doesn't fry Duel Disks, too, or else Kaiba's gonna be pretty pissed with you!

*Scene: For the record, Mako's connection with the sea protects his clothes from wetness, as well.*

Joey: Well, hop off Shamu and let's duel!

Mako: Are you sure about that? *waves his hand dismissively* Perhaps you'd be better off just enjoying my show!

Joey: *with fist raised* Here's your show!

Mako: Alright! *holds up four locator cards, and starts haggling with Joey*

Woman: *stumbles out of the trainers' room, shedding an icepack* You! That's it; you're fired! You're supposed to be running an aquarium show! And get off the whale, it's not fair to make him keep standing on his tail like that!

*Scene: Joey shows off his own set of four cards -- and is it actually a compliment to say that you're impressed someone did as well as you?*

Mako: Then we shall duel and give all these people a show to remember!

Joey: Cheering fans? Oh, I'm in!

Boy wearing a yellow cap and a red tunic but no pants: Awesome!! They're gonna duel!

Little boy in a pink button-down shirt, also possibly not wearing pants: That's even better than the whales! YEAH!!

Man in glasses: *sarcastically* Oh, yes! I'm so psyched that the whale show has been called off for another over-blown part of that "Battle City" thing I could see for free while walking to work on one of the closed-down streets! This is just absolutely fantastic!

Joey: *blushing and grinning* They love me! They really love me!

*The man in glasses sweatdrops, and is poked sharply in the side by his mannequin-like wife.*

*Scene: While the cameraman ogles the audience, Mako gets off the whale and puts on his Duel Disk, in two hopefully unrelated moves.*

Mako: Once I unleash my mighty denizens of the deep, you'll be all washed up, Joey!

Joey: You've got a big mouth and a short memory, Sharkbait! I was the one fighting in the Duelist Kingdom finals while you were swimmin' back home!

Mako: Hey! I decided not to take the ship because swimming is such good exercise!!

Téa: ... *sweatdrops* I'm not sure that's a helpful excuse...

*Scene: While the male half of the audience groans and jeers at the pirouettes Joey does while drawing his cards, the women actually seem fairly taken with it.*

Joey: *thinking* Whoo! Wait'll he sees this... *finally actually looks at his card, and comes to the realization that he's not a yami* Huh?! It's that Parasite card Weevil snuck in my deck to sabotage me! *breaks down crying* I forgot to take it out!!

Téa: Joey!! Don't tell me you forgot to pray before drawing!

*Scene: As proof of how little I really do know my own series, I actually thought of this joke BEFORE the previous one.*

Joey: *regaining composure* *thinking* Okay, Joey! Just keep that adorable gameface on an' never let 'im see ya sweat! *looks adorable at Mako*

Mako: *jumps back, horrified* Agh!! Are you flirting with me now?!

Joey: Uh... yes? *sweatdrops*

Téa: *sweatdrops more* Smooth cover, Joey... real smooth.

*Scene: Joey plays his Parasite facedown. It's strategy. He swears.*

Mako: It's about time! Now, I summon the mighty Flying Fish!

Téa: *laughs at its points of 800/500* I hope that "mighty" is just part of its name, because otherwise Joey'll have this duel locked up in under five minutes! ... *sees the Fish shatter Joey's Parasite* ...or... not... *sweatdrops*

*Scene: Joey and Mako both lay cards facedown, although not parallel to each other. ...is it a good thing or a bad thing that I haven't figured out what the directions mean yet?*

Joey: Alright, Barnacle Breath! Watch da mastaa!

Mako: *shouts, nearly tripping Joey* GET ON WITH IT!

Joey: *regaining his feet with rather cute squeaks* Hey, I'm just tryin' to give this crowd a good show! Unlike you!

Mako: Yes; I'm actually trying to play a good duel!

Tristan: *shakes his head sadly* That man has his priorities so wrong.

Téa: Which one?

Tristan: Does it matter?

*Scene: Joey plays a card facedown.*

Joey: I was just getting' warmed up before. This time it's for real. And I've got a plan that will leave your little goldfish high-and-dry!

Mako: *looks into the sun, giving his eyes a deranged gleam while he thinks* Really! Well, I'll be ready for this so-called "strategy." ...er, "plan." He called it a "plan" this time, right? Well, "strategy"'s an awfully big word for him -- maybe he really is going to try something this time.

*Scene: Joey's "plan" consists of using his Defense monster as a sacrifice for his freshly-drawn card, Garuzies."

Mako: Nice try! Ha! But I activate Torrential Tribute! *a torrent of water blasts from the card, smashing into Garuzies and Joey, who struggles not to be carried away -- or drown* *distressed* I guess... he's the most dramatic opponent I've ever faced.

Joey: *gurgling* Agh!! Help me! Ugh, it tastes like whale!!

Cheerleaders: ... *hide their faces in their hands, shaking their heads*

*Scene: Marik drives along the scenic waterfront.*

Marik: *telepathically to his minions* Keep an eye on little Yugi's friends, my Rare Hunters! I'll be needing all of them very shortly. *cackles*

Ugly, bald Rare Hunter, possible a eunuch, just because: Aww, so does that mean no corn dogs?

Cute, blue-haired Rare Hunter, whom I still think to this day should get a bigger part in this story, even if he makes me think "BSB": Aww, that's no fair! Master Marik never lets us have any fun! *pouts*

*Scene: Marik does some wheelies and nearly runs over Yami Bakura, further evidence that you should never engage in telepathic communication while operating a motorcycle.*

Marik: *carefully takes off and hangs up his helmet and grabs his Rod before speaking* You're in my way.

Yami Bakura: You have something I seek. *yanks open his shirt and makes his Ring go all glowy*

Marik: *clutches his Rod* The Millennium Ring!

Yami Bakura: It seems you're the dark force whose presence I've been sensing. *crosses his arms*

Marik: *smirks and points* You have really stupid hair!

Yami Bakura: I've heard much about you. *smirks, unconcerned*

Marik: *stands, or, rather, dismounts* This is a rather dingy alley for such a momentous first meeting.

Yami Bakura: That's a pretty fancy motorcycle you have. *walks over to admire it*

Marik: *looks around* There's surprisingly few pigeons here in Domino.

Yami Bakura: ...you know, sooner or later we're going to have to start responding to each other for this to qualify as a "conversation." *glances sideways at Marik*

Marik: *brushes back his hair* Becoming evil was the best thing I ever did.

Yami Bakura: This present-day world is filled with idiots -- just as it's always been! *smirks broadly*

*Scene: Same... but rather less long. Can any of you even remember where the real scene left off by now?*

Yami Bakura: You have something I seek. *reveals his Ring*

Marik: *clutches his Rod* The Millennium Ring!

Yami Bakura: *facepalms* Mortals... *slowly and clearly as he gestures back and forth* No. THIS is the Millennium Ring. THAT is the Millennium Rod. I already HAVE the Millennium Ring. I WANT the Millennium Rod. Understand?

Marik: Oh!! *claps his hands together with delighted comprehension* Right, of course! I'm sure we can make a deal, then!

Yami Bakura: *covers his face again* For the love of Ra...

*Scene: A few seconds further on...*

Yami Bakura: Give me your Millennium Item and you may pass by!

Marik: Hmm... *dismounts* You are somewhat familiar with the ancient ways. Why do you want my Item?

Yami Bakura: Well, let's see now... *scratches his cheek in mock-thought* I hear it can control minds, so I thought that since that last American Idol was such a joke, perhaps I should take a more active role in the matter...

*Scene: From Marik's line...*

Marik: You are somewhat familiar with the ancient ways. Why do you want my Item?

Yami Bakura: "SOMEWHAT familiar?!" If you can't think up any reason yourself, I'm sure I'm far more knowledgeable than you are!

*Scene: Exact same place!*

Marik: You are somewhat familiar with the ancient ways, at least better than the rest of these bumbling buffoons. How'd you like to be my minion?

Yami Bakura: *snarls* How'd you like me to steal your soul?

Marik: I'll... take that as a "not right now."

*Scene: Perhaps you've noticed by now that I'm As-Iffing every line? ...some multiple times? D'ya think this is the result or cause of insanity?*

Yami Bakura: If you must know, I'm a collector of sorts. I am a thief and a stealer of souls. I have done terrible things in my quest for the Millennium Items, and I am prepared to do them to you if you're not prepared to hand yours over. Is that enough information for you, or is a practical demonstration required? *smirks*

*Scene: Same again!*

Yami Bakura: I'm a collector of sorts, and once I possess all seven Millennium Items, I'll control ancient powers strong enough to rule the entire world! So I'll ask you once again to hand over your Millennium Rod!

Marik: *thinking* Interesting! Whoever he is, he has knowledge of the ancient scriptures. *closes his eyes prettily* Fortunately for me, this stranger doesn't know everything, for he who possesses the boundless power of the Pharaoh himself controls a magic far stronger than the seven Millennium Items!

Yami Bakura: *aloud* Is that so? Well, I thank you for the tip. You have been most helpful. I'll be sure to release you if I'm ever feeling bored and looking for some entertainment. But for now, farewell! *seals Marik's soul away in a figurine, takes the Rod, and drives away on Marik's motorcycle leaving the body in the dust*

*Scene: Let's pretend Yami Bakura can read minds for a little bit longer!*

Marik: *thinking* Interesting! Whoever he is, he has knowledge of the ancient scriptures. *closes his eyes prettily* Fortunately for me, this stranger doesn't know everything, for he who possesses the boundless power of the Pharaoh himself controls a magic far stronger than the seven Millennium Items!

Yami Bakura: Are you saying that someone has written all of that down? Even I can't help but feeling that's cheating!

Marik: Are you saying that that's a bad thing?

Yami Bakura: *smirks* Well, no...

*Scene: Actually, let's pretend for another scene, too!*

Yami Bakura: I'm glad to hear that, but I can still rule the world with just the seven Millennium Items. So I think I'll stick to what I know.

*Scene: Why does Yami Bakura keep stealing my lines?*

Marik: *aloud* My name is Marik.

Yami Bakura: I don't care.

Marik: What if I told you I had exclusive knowledge of certain secrets?

Yami Bakura: I still wouldn't care, and would then have the handy nickname of "liar" to use in its place. Your point?

*Scene: Yeah, you think I'm actually gonna come up with a new description for every new scene? They aren't even moving!*

Marik: You can have my Millennium Rod if you want. *turns his back to Yami Bakura* But, before I hand it over to you, you have to do something for me in exchange. For I am somewhat of a collector myself, and once I possess what I desire, the Millennium Rod will mean absolutely nothing to me.

Yami Bakura: *amazed* How could that be?! The Millennium Items are so incredibly shiny, and the Rod is so sharp! How could you possibly consider throwing it away?!

*Scene: Wouldn't you know they'd move right after I finally use that scene line? And really, you'd think Marik would at least have some emotional attachment to the Rod, if nothing else...*

Yami Bakura: Why should I help? I can take your Millennium Item by force as I've done to others in the past.

Marik, who looks like a munchkin if you happen to stop the tape in mid-turn and mid-blink: "Others?" You only have two Items, including the one you reside in. Are you implying that you've lost almost as many as you've gained?

Yami Bakura: *shifty-eyed* Er, no! That's ridiculous! It's slander to even think such a thing!

Marik: *not believing that a bit* Riiiight...

*Scene: In response to Yami Bakura's querying of why he should help...*

Marik: *flutters his eyelashes* You wouldn't refuse a lady, now would you?

*Yami Bakura looks faintly sick.*

*Scene: Let's give a shot at not being terribly OOC for once.*

Yami Bakura: Why should I help? I can take your Millennium Item by force as I've done to others in the past.

Marik: Because I know the whereabouts of several of the Millennium Items, including the Millennium Necklace worn by my sister.

Yami Bakura: *smiles* Perhaps there is a way we can work together, and help each other to get what we want.

Marik: You've made a wise choice.

Yami Bakura: But then again, that might be the exact power of my own Millennium Item. Really, Marik! If you're going to pretend to be omniscient, at least do your homework!

*Scene: Yami Bakura accepts for some bizarre reason, and poses and glows blue while Marik responds with a lovely shade of lavender that, alas, makes his shirt seem pale.*

Marik: With our combined power, no-one in the entire world will be able to stop us!

Yami Bakura: *powers down abruptly* Now you've done it! Are you going to jinx us the entire way?!

*Scene: Apparently the writers have no taste, as they think two minutes for Yami Bakura and Marik is quite sufficient.*

Cheering Fan 1: This duel rocks!

Cheering Fan 2: Mako's Fish Deck is destroying Wheeler!

*Over in the non-duelist part of the stands...*

Sane Fan 1: Man, this "dueling" thing is lame. Okay, nice tech, but I came here to see real fish, not laser-lights.

Sane Fan 2: Yeah, and wow, that blonde guy sucks. You can tell he's lame just by the way he entered.

Sane Fan 3: I hope that trainer gets fired for this! I don't care how good he is with the fish, this is absolutely unacceptable!

Joey: *watching half the audience leave* Guess they got faint from watching my impressive might!

Téa: *sweatdrops* Yeah, that's gotta be it.

*Scene: Why does the crowd call Mako "Mako," but Joey "Wheeler"? And why does Téa cheer so vigorously when Joey is getting actively crushed?*

Mako: Feel the power of my sea deck! Mako Tsunami will show no mercy!

Joey: Fine! Who's askin' ya to?

Mako: For years I have searched for my lost father on the open seas...

Joey: So your father asked ya ta show mercy?

Mako: Um...

*Scene: Mako blathers about his small, wooden fishing boat.*

Mako: No matter how difficult the struggle, I have vowed never to stop searching until I find him.

Téa: Oh, I'm so sorry, Mako! I never knew!

Mako: ...yes, you did. I told you all this back at the Duelist Kingdom.

Joey: So if this is all old hat, can I still kick your butt, then?

*Scene: The crowd does not approve of mercy, considering their cheers at Mako and Joey's speeches. I suppose this is why so many of them are willing to live in the same town as a pair of yamis.*

Téa: You can do it!

Grandpa: Just stay calm, Joey!

Tristan: *looks at Grandpa and starts* Ah! Uh, Mr. Motou? Your eyes, they're kinda, um...

Grandpa: Huh? Oh, I must have neglected to take my medicine. Thank you, Tristan. *pulls out a bottle and gulps down a pill* Ahh, that's better.

*Scene: Joey plays Alligator Sword in Attack Mode and two cards facedown.*

Mako: *thinking* Perhaps I underestimated him! He is more determined than I thought. Normally when I tell my sob story, people feel so bad they just give up. ...or maybe he is just stupid. Yes, that seems more likely.

*Scene: This is one of the few (well, maybe not so VERY few) times in which I've written a joke solely because I happened to write something related earlier. Revel in its random coincidentality!*

Mako: I sacrifice the weaker Flying Fish in order to summon the stronger Amphibian Beast!

Téa: Hey, I thought he said its title was "Mighty" before, but now he's calling it "The Weaker Flying Fish!"

*Everyone else sweatdrops*

*Scene: "Amphibian Beast" is a cool name. "Yumi" for "ocean" is not.*

Mako: Hah! You're a worthy opponent, Joey, well done.

Joey: You're pretty worthy yourself, there, Mako!

Mako: *thinking* But this duel has just begun, and the sea hides many great mysteries, and great terrors. The most powerful and dangerous creatures of all lie hidden deep beneath its waters. I will prevail and obtain my place in the Battle City finals, for I have a secret weapon guaranteed to destroy him, and it waits in the depths of my ocean deck. Yes, Joey Wheeler will cower on his knees when confronted with the awesome power of SHAMU!! Mwuahahahahahahahahaha!!

Commercial Narrator: Shamu -- guaranteed to bring uppity blonde punks to their knees. Get yours today!