Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ Journey to the Duelist Kingdom ( Chapter 3 )
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 09.29.2002 | Pages: 7 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 978 | Status: Completed
*Author's Note: Since nobody complained about the set-up in the last chapter, I'll continue on that way for this one as well, although I'll make it a little shorter. Plus, with the MSTing almost twice as long as a normal episode's, I think you can all bear with me here.
Lizzie - I go rant insanely about the card Seto gave to Mokuba about every other week! My friends are getting quite tired of it by now, I'm sure. It definitely isn't the picture of Seto, I know that. My best guess is that it's the Beaver Warrior, since I don't know of any wooden or horse cards. My friends try to soothe me with the thought that we might find out in a later arc. We'll see...
Emerald Phoenix524 - Wow, I'm really kind of surprised that anyone noticed that I was using modern Egyptian (or, more properly, Arabic, as you said) rather than ancient. My (slight) justification for doing so is that at least it's better than having Yami use Japanese, and that finding an English/Ancient Egyptian dictionary is rather impossible. Thank you for your information. I'll try not to underestimate my readers so in the future.
Pharaoh Light and Pharaoh Dark - Thank you sooo much for your letters! It's really great to get support from fans, and they really cheered me up, what with not getting new reviews and all. *grins* And don't be surprised if I steal... er... use some of those great ideas you gave me. They were really funny!!
I'm betting no-one took the initiative to draw me a piccy of Yugi with angel wings while ff.net was down, huh? *sighs* Oh, well. I'll live... albeit sadly. *huge, angsty sigh*
Description of the Couplings in a Fic of the Day: "Yugi/Ryou and Yami/Everyone." Talk about a perverted old man!
On my final note, it appears that my wuvwy Mawik-kunny hast escaped. Of course, this might well be a good thing. I'm still a bit worried that he's going to try to kill me, though... but at least I know he can't sic my minions on me. I don't think even HE could get them to wake up, impressive though he is. *shrugs* I'm not TOO worried, though. I mean, I've already got a couple people trying to kill me. One more can't make all that much difference, right?
But enough about that. Let's get on to the fic, like I know you've all been waiting for!*
*Scene: Yugi stands on a rooftop, surrounded by a high fence, looking out at the sunset, and thinks about his life.*
Yugi: How did I get into this mess? Everyone always told me not to come up here, but how was I supposed to know that the door automatically locked?
*Scene: Thinking.*
Yugi: What could Pegasus possibly want with me? And could it have something to do with my Millennium Puzzle?
Yami: Noo, that would be too obvious, what with his long explanations of the Items, and all.
Yugi: There's no need to be sarcastic...
Yami: Isn't there?
*Scene: More thinking.*
Yugi: I'll beat Pegasus at his own game! ...whatever that is.
Yami: You are one of the most clueless, useless people I have ever met.
Yugi: Oh, really? Well, I'll try to work on that, then. Thanks!
Yami: ... That much cheerfulness really isn't natural...
*Scene: At Joey's place, where said boy is looking at a video tape.*
Joey: Wonder who this is from.
Mailman: *points to a return address* "Serenity Wheeler," see?
Joey: Hey, I'd wanted it to be a surprise, you jerk!
*Scene: The tape starts playing, showing Joey's sister.*
Serenity: I can't believe it's been six years since we've seen each other. It's amazing how time can fly.
Joey: *sweatdrops* Oh, yeah. That's what I wanted to hear.
*Scene: Serenity isn't just sending a holiday greeting, sadly.*
Serenity: I'm sending you this video just so that you don't forget your little sister's face. It seems like I'm running out of time.
Joey: *scratches head* I'm confused. She's the one going blind, not me. An' it's not like I don't keep a picture of her in my wallet, anyways.
*Scene: Yugi walks home and finds an envelope stuck in the door.*
Yugi: Huh? What's this? *opens it* It's from Pegasus! *pulls the cards out* Wow, these would really help out my deck... Look at the attack points on this thing!
*Scene: Pegasus is too cheap to pay postal rates, and too forgetful to include invitations in the original boxes.*
Yugi: Huh? What's this? *opens the envelope* It's from Pegasus! *pulls out one of the cards and gasps* It's an invitation to the tournament at Duelist Kingdom!
Yami: I'm impressed you managed to grab the exact right card, first try.
Yugi: Well, they're layered.
Yami: After having been shoved in a door.
Yugi: ...okay, it's impressive.
*Scene: At school, the gang discusses the tournament in their usual, witless fashion.*
Téa: A tournament at Duelist Kingdom? Isn't that an island?
*The guys look at each other for a moment.*
Joey: Talk about random.
Tristan: And pointless.
Téa: Hey!!
*Scene: Planning is vital to the success of any mission.*
Téa: But you can't go. It could be dangerous.
Tristan: *takes the Ship card* Yeah, I mean, they even show that there are sea monsters!
Joey: *leans over Tristan's shoulder* An orange Loch Ness? How freaky!
*Scene: Reminiscing is good, too.*
Tristan: I still can't believe it. Pegasus used some kind of weird spell to grab your grandpa's soul away. Are you sure you aren't lying?
Yugi: Yes, I'm sure!
*Scene: More talking about Pegasus.*
Tristan: Now he's toying with you, forcing you to duel in the tournament.
Téa: Maybe he's trying to be nice. I mean, most people would love to have an invitation!
Joey: There's a nice middle ground between not bein' cynical and bein' stupid, y'know.
*Scene: Tristan is easily distracted.*
Tristan: *picks up a pair of cards* Hey, Yugi, check this out. According to this card, the tournament winner takes the grand prize of three million dollars!
Yugi: Oh, wow, really? I hadn't even bothered looking at these cards!
*Scene: Joey snags the Money card.*
Joey: *wonderingly* Three million in cold cash.
Téa: I'm not sure I'd call that knife and gems and stuff "cash..." Though they do look cold.
Tristan: *imitates Téa* Poor things!
Téa: Yeah, yeah...
*Scene: Another day, another sunset on the roof.*
Yugi: Joey, what are you doing up here?
Joey: Hmm?
Yugi: This is my special place! *stamps foot* Get OUT!
*Scene: Yugi's a naturally sensitive guy.*
Yugi: What's with you?
Joey: Oh, nothin'. I'm just thinkin' about a whole lot of stuff.
Yugi: *nods* Yeah, I always find that deep thought is helped by staring directly into the sun.
*Scene: Rash promises are helpful in every situation.*
Joey: One way or another, I'll help you beat Pegasus!
Yugi: *laughs and sits by him* That really means a lot to me, Joey. I'm glad you're my friend.
Joey: Yeah, "friends." *they giggle* Remember the first time we met?
Yugi: I'll never forget it. It was all because of the Millennium Puzzle.
Yami: Oh, no, please don't bring me into this!
*Scene: There's never a bad time for a flashback!*
Yugi: The way Grandpa explained it to me...
Joey: What? Don't you remember yourself?
Yugi: Well, I kinda got hit on the head when the ruins collapsed further...
Joey: *winces* Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
*Scene: More of that.*
Yugi: The way Grandpa explained it to me, the Puzzle was originally found in some Egyptian ruins. My grandpa gave it to me and kinda dared me to solve it. We spent the rest of the trip on the run from the Antiquities Service, and have been hiding out here ever since.
Joey: Yeah, that's what I thought.
*Scene: Yugi likes shiny things.*
Yugi: It was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen. As soon as I touched it, I knew it was special.
Joey: Yeah, you do act kinda stupid and out of control when it activates.
Yami: Hey!! I should blast you where you sit!
*Scene: Continuing on...*
Yugi: I made a wish on the Puzzle. I asked it to give me a real friend, and I think the Puzzle came through for me. That was when I met you and Tristan.
Yami: WHAT?! You didn't mean me?!
Yugi: I'm not sure I'd exactly call you a "friend..."
Yami: Well, you'd do well to keep in mind that I'm not a wishing well, either! *slams the proverbial door in Yugi's face*
Yugi: Talk about touchy.
*Scene: At the dock.*
Saruwatari: Attention, all duelists. Welcome to this event sponsored by Industrial Illusions. You received with your invitation the star chips that will grant you entry into this contest.
*The crowd stirs uneasily, and then about half of the potential duelists turn and run back home to find their star chips.*
*Scene: There's a commotion down by the boat.*
Man: Hey, you! Get out of here! Only official contestants are allowed on board.
Joey: How do you know I'm not official?
Man: Because the official duelists aren't trying to sneak on board through the lower hatches.
Joey: Your logic has just totally lost me.
*Scene: On the other side of the dock...*
Stevedore: All right, there. Bring it up, bring it up...
Téa: They're distracted. Let's go.
Tristan: Right.
*Téa, Bakura, Mary Sue, and Marty Sam slink off onto the ship.*
*Scene: Yugi tries to convince the bouncers that Joey should be allowed on the ship.*
Yugi: But Joey has a star chip, didn't he tell you?
Joey: I do?
Yugi: See? *gives him one*
Man: You guys really need to work on your story. First you try to pretend he's official, then he's just a cheerleader, now you're clearly bailing him out... It's pathetic!
Joey: Ain't that the truth.
*Scene: Maybe it would help if Yugi explained the rules to the goons...*
Yugi: According to this card, a star chip is proof that one is a duelist.
Man: Hmm. That may be, but all duelists are given two star chips. You'll be at a disadvantage.
Yugi: Maybe, but I'd like to think that he'd help me out if I got into that problem.
Joey: *clutches the star chip* No! Mine, all mine!!
*Scene: The box Téa and Tristan are hiding in gets a rough landing.*
Téa: Whoa! *falls against Tristan*
Tristan: Shh!
Téa: Don't you shush me, Tristan!
Tristan: Look, if I start yelling, then you can shush me too, okay?
Téa: Oh, you'll be yelling, alright...
Bakura: *lounging indolently against a wall* Oh, do be quiet, you two.
*Scene: Not in a box.*
Yugi: I'm glad they let you on board, Joey.
Joey: Only because you sacrificed one of your star chips for me.
Yugi: Speaking of which, may I have it back now?
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure thing. *hands it over*
*Scene: More chatting over the big, blue sea.*
Joey: But if any of the other players find out we only have one star chip each, they could really try to take advantage of us.
Yugi: Then be quiet about it.
Mai: *walks over* Hey, guys. What were you talking about?
Joey: Oh, we were just worryin' about whether us having just the one star chip apiece'll hurt us in the tournament.
Yugi: *nods* And I was just telling him that it'd be fine as long as he stopped talking about it, although I'm kinda worried people might just SEE it. What do you think?
Mai: Huh. I don't think that the one star chip will be the issue for him.
*Scene: Mai overhears them, and for some reason decides that's as good as an invitation.*
Joey: Hey, Miss...
Téa: "Miss?" I didn't know Joey was that polite.
Tristan: I didn't know Joey was that desperate!
*Scene: Everyone's a fool for a pretty... face.*
Joey: Hey, Miss, I'm a really good friend of the famous Yugi, the master duelist. In fact...
Mai: In fact, what?
Yugi: I don't think I want to know...
*Scene: Mai might be pretty, but she isn't sweet.*
Mai: You're either a champ or a chump. Cut this guy loose. He's fashion-challenged and deserves to be crushed in the games.
Yugi: *plucks at his own school uniform embarrassedly* At least it's colorful...
*Scene: Chats with Mai are unusual things.*
Joey: Please, crush me!
Mai: I'll crush you all, eventually.
Joey: Yay!! *does a happy dance*
*Scene: Finally, an introduction.*
Mai: The name's Mai.
Yugi: Mai what?
Mai: Mai Valentine. *everyone else groans* Hey! I didn't name myself, you know! ...and at least it's better than "Mai Peacock," right?
*Yugi giggles.*
*Scene: Over to the hidden cheerleaders for a quick morale boost.*
Téa: How arrogant! There's nobody better at playing Duel Monsters than Yugi.
Tristan: Is that supposed to be hypocritical?
Téa: No, why?
Tristan: Er, no reason...
*Scene: Joey makes a fuss over rooming.*
Man: You again? We cut you a break, and now you're causing more trouble? Do you want to get thrown out of here?
Joey: Well, swimming is good fer muscle tone an' tanning...
*Scene: The regional finalists pause for a moment to observe the fun.*
Weevil: Huh? Hey, aren't you that kid Yugi?
Yugi: Uh, yeah.
Weevil: Finally! *adjusts his glasses* I really need a new prescription...
*Scene: No, seriously, Weevil can see fine as long as he squints like that.*
Weevil: Hey, aren't you that kid Yugi?
Yugi: *sighs* Oh, great, another fan. I am getting so tired of autographing...
*Scene: Same.*
Weevil: Aren't you that kid Yugi?
Yugi: Uh, yeah. And you're...
Joey: Weevil and Rex!
Rex: Gee, thanks, we didn't know who we were.
Weevil: Much appreciated, truly.
*Scene: Same again.*
Yugi: And you're....
Joey: *finally stops fighting the suits* Weevil, and Rex, the Dino-Duelist!
Weevil: Hey, why does the loser get a title, but not me?
Rex: I'm just that much cooler.
*Scene: Yugi is congratulating Weevil on his big win. Joey isn't being so supportive.*
Joey: Well, this time, Yugi and I are gonna take the tournament. Right, Yugi?
Yugi: Your words, not mine...
*Scene: Weevil's modest about his achievements.*
Weevil: I guess I can't really call myself the Champion until I defeat the duelist who beat Kaiba.
Yugi: Well, I'm not the Champion. You'd need to beat Kaiba, not me.
Joey: *under breath* Talk about snotty for someone who's only won the regionals.
*Scene: Conversation continues.*
Weevil: I'm sure I'll end up battling you in the big tournament, Yugi. Frankly, I look forward to it.
Yugi: I look forward to it, too. Although I'm kinda confused why you sounded so sinister when you said that.
Joey: *whispers in his ear* I think he always sounds that way, Yuge.
Yugi: *chagrined* Whoops.
*Scene: The fresh sea air makes everyone chatty.*
Weevil: Let me tell you a little secret. It's something none of the other players know about the games yet.
Yugi: Oh, isn't that cheating?
Weevil: *patiently* Yes, Yugi. It's cheating.
*Scene: "Help thy enemy."*
Weevil: There are new rules on the island that require more strategy.
Yugi: Huh. What are they?
Joey: *shocked* Huh?!
Yugi: *shrugs* In for a penny, in for it all.
*Scene: Rex gives his smashing speech to an unreceptive audience.*
Joey: Strength is good, but you also need to combine them with other types of cards.
Yugi: Hey, are you trying to make yourself lose? Helping your opponent isn't the best strategy...
Joey: Nah, I'm more just braggin'.
Yugi: *sweatdrops* Even better.
*Scene: Rex gets ready to stomp off.*
Rex: Stay out of my way, or I'll stomp you like everyone else.
Joey: So, if I'm polite, you'll go easy on me?
Rex: That's what I said!
*Scene: Again.*
Rex: Stay out of my way, or I'll stomp you like everyone else.
Joey: Er, d'ya mean that you're gonna stomp me, or everybody else is gonna stomp me?
Rex: Both!
*Scene: Some insight into Weevil's strategy of spying.*
Weevil: Check out those chumps. They're already trading over there.
Yugi: "Already?" I would've thought they'd been working on their decks for months.
*Scene: Joey runs off with a handful of cards.*
Yugi: Guess Joey's trading.
Weevil: If you've come all this way and you're still trying to improve your deck, you've got to be pretty desperate.
Yugi: Well, that's Joey to a "t."
*Scene: Out on the deck, Téa gets up and starts walking around.*
Tristan: Hey, Téa, stay down or we're busted.
Téa: It's freezing out here. I can't sit still.
Tristan: *snickers* In another few hours, the sun will rise.
Téa: Grr... That's not funny, Tristan!
Tristan: *frowns* No, it's really not, is it?
*Scene: The door to the deck opens, and Téa slips back into hiding.*
Téa: Look, isn't that Bakura?
Tristan: Bakura? You mean Bakura from school?
Téa: Yes, Bakura from school! How many Englishmen with Japanese names do you think I know?
*Scene: Bakura's quite a conversation piece.*
Téa: What do you think he's doing here?
Tristan: Uh, I guess he's in the tournament.
Téa: I dunno... That seems suspiciously obvious to me...
*Scene: A slightly different look at why Bakura's out on the deck.*
Bakura: *leaning over the railing* It's so dark... so deep... I wish...
Yami Bakura: Oh, not this rant again!
Bakura: *angrily* I wouldn't want to if it weren't for you!
Yami Bakura: Glad to hear it, but I'm still not going to let you jump off this boat! And speak with respect!
Bakura: But I want to! Please??
Yami Bakura: If it weren't for you wanting to, I'd be throwing you off myself, you wimp...
*Scene: Yugi's at a table with his golden card box in front of him.*
Joey: Geez, wouldn't it have been easier not to bring the box?
Yugi: *shrugs* Well, it's not like food isn't just as heavy.
*Scene: Joey shows Yugi the new cards he got.*
Yugi: Salamandra, and a Kunai with Chain, Baby Dragon, and Shield and Sword? Great! But, uh, do you have any deck left other than these?
Joey: Er... maybe...
*Scene: Complimenting a guy like Joey is usually a mistake.*
Joey: So now, I'm ready to win every duel I play.
Yugi: I think you're gonna find it's a bit harder than that, Joey.
Joey: But I'm the main support character!
Yugi: ...yeah, okay, you'll do great.
*Scene: Weevil walks over to the happy couple.*
Weevil: Ah, so we meet again.
Yugi: Well, it's a pretty small boat, Weevil. Not like we could've gone anywhere.
*Scene: Over at Rex's luxury room...*
Mai: Okay, then, cut the cards.
Rex: Playing with your deck, huh? *cuts the cards and sneezes* Phew! What'd you do, use these in a flower press?
Mai: Something like that.
*Scene: Back to the gang on the deck.*
Weevil: Did you trade for any good cards, Yugi?
Yugi: Nah, I'm going to duel with the cards I brought along with me.
Joey: Discounting, a'course, the one you gave me.
Weevil: And the ones I'm going to steal.
Yugi: *nods* Yes, except them, of course.
*Scene: A discussion about Yugi's defeat of Kaiba using Exodia.*
Weevil: *breathless* Could I possibly see those legendary cards?
Joey: Don't trust him, Yugi! He's wearing glasses!!
Yugi: *laughs* Oh, that's just an old wives' tale!
*Scene: Same thing.*
Yugi: I don't see why not. *pulls the cards out of the box*
Joey: Wow, I'm impressed with how quickly you grabbed them.
Yugi: A little magic goes a long way.
*Scene: Again, off the same fake line.*
Joey: Wow, I'm impressed with how quickly you grabbed them.
Yugi: Well, I find it useful to keep my deck stacked, you know.
*Scene: Continuing on...*
Yugi: I don't see why not. Just be careful with them, okay? *hands them over to Weevil, who promptly turns and tosses them off the side of the ship* WHAT?!
Weevil: Hey, I never agreed to the careful part.
*Scene: Again.*
Yugi: Just be careful with them, okay? *gives them to Weevil*
Weevil: Of course. *carefully drops them one by one off the side of the ship*
*Scene: And again.*
Yugi: Just be careful with them, okay?
Weevil: No.
Yugi: Oh, I'm sure you don't mean that. *gives Weevil the cards anyway*
*Scene: A little bit further along.*
Weevil: For a long time, I've been trying to come up with some sort of strategy to finally beat these cards.
Yugi: I don't think there is one... unless you've found something?
Weevil: No. *sighs and hands them back* So much for inspiration...
*Scene: Another second, another scene.*
Weevil: Say good-bye to Exodia! *tosses the cards, only to have the aerodynamics of the ship blow them back to the deck*
Yugi: Yay!! *happily gathers them up again, and puts them away* I'm sorry, but I did tell you to be careful with them. And at least you got to see them, right?
Weevil: *sweatdrops*
*Scene: Dirty deed done, Weevil walks away laughing maniacally.*
Weevil: Now there's no one who can challenge me!
Yugi: But what about Kaiba?
Joey: An' I for one wanta pound ya...
Yugi: Again with the picking on people half your size!
*Scene: Joey decides to take a refreshing swim.*
Yugi: Joey, they're not worth drowning over!
Joey: Don't worry, Yugi!
Yugi: You didn't even take your shoes off!
Joey: Take my sneaks off? Why would I do that?
Yugi: *bangs head against the railing* And this is why I worry!
*Scene: The two boys have a thrilling conversation over the sound of the surf.*
Yugi: Joey! Swim back to the ship!
Joey: Now what good would that do? I can't climb the bugger like a spider, ya know!
*Scene: Joey submerges for a second.*
Joey: Current sure is strong...
Yugi: Er, shouldn't you be swimming with the current? Like the cards are?
*Scene: Swimming in the deep, blue, Loch-Ness-infested sea.*
Joey: At least this time there's something I can do to help someone I care about... If I punk out now, who's gonna help my sister, Serenity?
Téa: Oh, wow, it's almost like a metaphor!
Tristan: Exactly like one, I'd say.
*Scene: Yugi dives in to help out his friend.*
Yugi: Joey, hold on! *mentally* Hey, a little help here?
Yami: What do I know about swimming in salt water? The buoyancy is all wrong.
Yugi: *sweatdrops* Great... Nice to know you care.
Yami: I care? Since when?
*Yugi sighs.*
*Scene: Yugi and Joey splash around a bit.*
Joey: Wow, Yugi... I'm impressed. Your hair doesn't look wet at all!
Yugi: Hey, yeah, neither does yours!
Joey: It's magical...
*They both shiver nervously.*
*Scene: Back on the ship, Mai kicks Rex out of his room.*
Mai: Get out, loser!
Rex: *groans and rubs his backside* Ow... high-heeled shoes...
*Scene: Téa and Tristan rescue the boys from drowning, which makes Joey mope.*
Joey: I'm never able to help anybody, not even my own sister, Serenity.
Yugi: Serenity? What kind of parents would name the sister of a "Joe" that?
*Scene: Conversation about Joey's sister.*
Téa: You have a sister, Joey?
Joey: Well, yeah. After my parents saw how handsome and dashing I was, they felt it'd be a crime not to.
*Scene: The group stands at the prow long after daybreak.*
Téa: Hey, shouldn't we be getting back into hiding like we were before?
Tristan: Nah, that got boring.