Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ The Ultimate Great Moth ( Chapter 4 )
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 09.30.2002 | Pages: 6 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 931 | Status: Completed
*Author's Note: It seems that there probably won't be any more new episodes on TV until fall, but that's alright with me. I still have a ton of old episodes to do for this, and the only way they'll get done is if I don't have new eps to be working on. However, I must say that my timing for starting these was rather good -- the chapter order might have a split in it, but it's in order other than that!
Now, onto reviewers...
The Happy Neopian - Heh, yeah, the Panik ep WAS corny. Of course, it was SO corny that I'm not sure I can really do much with it that you all haven't already done yourselves, but I'll try. I'm going to keep working in order, though... I fear I might get confused and end up leaving an ep out if I don't.
Meredith T. Tasaki - "How did Yugi and Joey get back on the ship?" O.o Uhhh... lemme get back to you on that.... o.O;;;
Lady Jess - Geez, I never even THOUGHT of putting up a spoiler warning. As for when they'll be showing CvC again, though, that would be this Saturday, August 3. The Kids' WB website is very helpful for that sort of thing. I'm not quite sure what you mean by "when YGO started," tho'. What form are we talking about here? I certainly know people I could ask if I knew what exactly to ask for. (P.S. You mentioned me in your bio! How cool is that?! *does a little happy dance*)
Tasaki, again - Yugi tied Joey to the ladder, and they all dragged him up.
Lizzie - Thanks for the info! As it happens, I was poking through the What You Missed section of Millennium Power (http://mozlane.ibusinesses.net/~yugioh/) last night, and it said the exact same thing. It's almost a pity... It would have been sooo cool to have Mokuba's favorite card end up winning some major duel or something, wouldn't it?
Pharaoh Light and Pharaoh Dark - Wheeheeheehee! Letters! I like letters! Goooo letters!! Whee!
Deathstar - Most definitely last but not least. I'll answer your question first, though. The answer, of course, is, "beats me." Yami's not really bitter to Yugi specifically, it's just annoyance in general at the stupidity of the modern world / the non-elite / people who think that dueling cards is actually interesting, plus, of course, the bad mood that comes from being locked in a ten-piece puzzle for five thousand years. And it's an upside-down pyramid at that -- talk about your depressive guy.
As for that picture you drew me... ten thousand thanks! I really can't express my appreciation enough. It's so very, very beautiful. And thank you for the picture of Angel Bakura, too -- I love it, and my imoto-san was absolutely thrilled with it, too. Heehee. I seriously annoyed a few of my friends by spending quite a few days ranting about those pictures. For anyone else that wishes to see them, they can be found at hhttp://www.angelfire.com/anime2/darkgatomon/images/AngelYugi.html and http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/darkgatomon/images/AngelBakura.html -- but DO NOT STEAL THEM! I know they're very, very pretty, but they belong to Deathstar, and she should be able to say where they go. Thanks in advance!
Now, just a little gift to show my gratitude... *holds up the small box I've mentioned before* Nothing special, as I said. *opens it up, revealing a painted stone statuette of the Egyptian Goddess Maat kneeling with her feathered arms outstretched* May she calm you, guide you, and bring you peace so that you may never not be able to write or draw.
Whee, this is so cool... Means I get to add Angel Yugi to the people that hand around in my cave here. Wheeee....
*AY, who is sitting on a chair off to the side, waves a greeting to the readers and sips on a glass of lemonade.*
Catling: Hey, since when did we have lemonade around here?
DG: *blinks* Um, beats me. I guess he brought it with him from wherever he came from.
Catling: You mean, heaven?
DG: Er, I guess.
Catling: *snags a pawful of catnip out of her ever-present pouch* Or maybe he made some.
DG: ... *runs off to the kitchen, bangs around in the refrigerator for a minute, and comes scampering back in with a big pitcher* Wow! I love this guy! *takes a sip directly from the pitcher* Mmm, so good... Wow... None of the other guys around here do this for me. Talk about great! ^_^
Catling: Now if only Malik weren't trying to kill your reviewers...
DG: *winces* Well, how was I supposed to know he'd escape and try to take revenge?! Speaking of which, any ideas on getting rid of him? ...wow, talk about things I never thought I'd say.
Catling: *cheerily* Nope!
DG: Oh, lovely. Hmm, any chance you could at least get a glass of lemonade to Celebi in there?
Catling: Give me the pitcher and I could try...
*Catling leaves with the pitcher. Her voice is heard from off-stage saying, "Hey, guys! Drinks are on me!" followed by a chorus of generally feline cries and the clinking of glasses.*
DG: *sighs* It is so very hard to find good help these days...*
*Scene: Standing at the bow of the ship, amazingly alone.*
Joey: Man, this Duelist Kingdom looks like a pretty big place, Yugi.
Yugi: Oh, well, the Kingdom itself only takes up about a quarter of the island. The rest is administration.
*Scene: Everyone gets ready to disembark, and looks out at the shore.*
Joey: Wow, check out those suits.
Téa: Purple shades, purple ties...
Yugi: *mystified* I guess Pegasus likes purple.
*Scene: Téa looks down at the nice, long drop next to the ramp on the island.*
Téa: Huh? What's that?!
Yugi: Huh? What do you see, Téa?
Téa: *points* It looked like... Bakura.
Tristan: *looks* Uh, that's a tree, Téa...
*Scene: Conversation about the putative Bakura.*
Yugi: Bakura? From school?
Téa: Why does everybody ask that?
*Scene: More Bakura convo.*
Tristan: Again with this Bakura stuff?
Joey: Where is he, Téa?
Téa: That's two times I've seen him now, but he's not there anymore. Maybe it's all in my head.
Joey: Hey, one schizo person at a time is enough!
*Far below, Bakura gives a hurt sniff.*
*Scene: Bakura's just a popular guy.*
Tristan: Come on, we're on a rescue mission, remember?
Joey: Yeah, you can look for a date later.
*Téa blushes*
Yugi: You do know that he's possessed by an evil spirit, right?
Téa: *dreamily* Oh, yes! ... *coughs* Er, I mean, yes, of course.
*Note: Joke stolen from my good friend Sha-kun. It was just too good to pass up.*
*Scene: At the bottom of the cliff.*
Yami Bakura: *annoyed* One would think you'd be bored of trying to kill yourself by now.
Bakura: Mm, yes, but it turns out that it's fabulously fun. Who knew?
*Scene: Pegasus welcomes all the duelists with honor and pleasure.*
Pegasus: You stand before me the world's greatest duelists! Of course, most of you are really rather pathetic, but that just reflects duelists in general.
Yami: Don't I know it.
*Scene: Pegasus's little speech continues.*
Pegasus: You stand before me the world's greatest duelists, but come tournament's end, only one shall be crowned King of Games.
Yami: *polishes his crown with his sleeve* I don't need a new crown, thanks -- the old workmanship really is the best.
*Scene: Yugi decides, quite rightly, that Pegasus is boring, and has a nice little monologue during his speech.*
Yugi: *thinking* If Grampa's here I'd bet my dueling glove he's hidden away in that castle...
Pegasus: Ooh, I'm sorry, but I keep him in a card in my pocket. Good try, though. Bye-bye!
*Yugi gets dragged back to the boat by a pair of goons.*
*Scene: The fireworks go off, but "accidentally" send sparks raining down on the crowd.*
Pegasus: *watches the duelists scream and run, some on fire, and claps* I haven't had this much fun in days...
*Scene: The gang walks through an idyllic, empty plain.*
Joey: So, what's your plan, Yugi?
Yugi: Well, I might as well stick with Weevil. After all, we do have a score to settle.
Joey: So now we just need to find him.
Téa: Uh, isn't that him? *points*
Tristan: Talk about convenient...
*Scene: The group has, indeed, just spotted Weevil.*
Yugi: *shouts/screeches* Weevil, I challenge you to a duel!
*Weevil wanders away through the forest.*
Tristan: I hate to break it to ya, buddy, but you really aren't that loud...
*Scene: They run into the forest and are beset by a swarm of moths.*
Tristan: Whoa, where are all these moths coming from?
Weevil: *cackles* Behold! The Moth-O-Matic 3000!
Téa: I think I speak for all of us when I say, "um, ew."
*Scene: Same.*
Tristan: Whoa, where are all these moths coming from?
Yugi: Moths? MOTHS?! AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!! BUTTERMOTHS!!! *runs around screaming like a girl* THEY'RE IN MY HAIR! THEY'RE IN MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL, SPIKY HAIR!
*Note: Thanks for the idea, Hika! The funniest thing I've heard all day!*
*Scene: Yugi runs along, thinking and panting.*
Yugi: What's Weevil up to? He's wanted to duel with me ever since we met on the boat, so what's he ru... *swallows a moth, chokes, falls, and is run over by his friends* Ow....
Weevil: Mwahahahahaha! My plan is complete!
*Scene: The group continues to chase after Weevil.*
Joey: Oh, man, why can't bug-types like cooler climes?
Tristan: Yeah, it's scorching! *he and Joey pull off their jackets, leaving just their long-sleeve shirts*
Yugi: *snickers* Now I know why you guys were so hot! *Yugi pulls off his jacket, showing that, although he's wearing two layers under there, they're both sleeveless.*
Tristan: Oooh!
Joey: Aaaah...
*Scene: Yugi runs straight into Weevil's trap.*
Yugi: It's time you answer for what you did on the boat, Weevil.
Joey: What me to break his legs?
Téa: Ahh, I don't think that'll be necessary...
Yugi: Er, thanks for the offer, though.
*Scene: A quick transformation with all the normal special effects.*
Yami: Huh. Alright, Weevil, time to find out if you're as good at dueling as you are at running away.
Weevil: Was I simply running away, or cleverly weaving you into my web?
Yami: *negligently* Running away.
Weevil: *adjusts his glasses nervously* Well, be that as it may...
*Scene: Yami practices his various facial expressions.*
Yami: *sneers* It's time to duel!
Weevil: *cackles* As you wish! *acts like a thunder god and makes the ground shake*
Yami: *mentally* Damn it, I hate your new-fangled "solid" ground.
*Scene: Everyone stands around and chats for the five minutes it takes the arena to assemble itself.*
Téa: *muses over Yami's outfit* It's really not bad... Nix the jacket, maybe, with that shirt... But really, it's just the shoes.
Yami: *amazed that anyone would care* The shoes?
Téa: Yeah. They make it look like you have clown feet.
Yami: Clown feet?!
*Joey and Tristan snicker, but are quickly silenced by a glare from Yami.*
*Scene: Some pre-duel quips.*
Weevil: You've just stepped into a hornet's nest...
Joey: Didn't he say that already?
Téa: I think he used the parlor one, and some web jokes....
Tristan: Yeah, he's still being original.
Téa: As much as these are "original."
*Scene: Quip quip quip.*
Weevil: You've just stepped into a hornet's nest, and there's no way out!
Joey: "No way out?" Couldn't he just leave?
Weevil: Er, I hadn't really thought of it that way.
*Scene: The arena finally arises.*
Yami: What is that?
Joey: These giant arenas must be set up all over the island.
Yami: Ah, "giant arena." Thank you.
*Scene: The duelists take their places at the arena.*
Joey: I don't like this. Weevil's a little too cocky.
Téa: I'm impressed you could say that on the air.
*Scene: Yami suggests a two-chip/one-chip-and-a-deck bet.*
Weevil: Winning all your cards will be an easy way to exterminate you once and for all.
Téa: Exterminate?! I object to the inference that I have a crush on a pest!
Yami: *ignoring her* I'm not sure that "once and for all" is really appropriate, consider that this is our first duel.
*Scene: Killer Needle vs. Mammoth Graveyard.*
Yami: This massive monster will match your annoying insect point for point.
Téa: *sardonic* Yes, killers are very annoying, aren't they?
*Scene: Weevil, being the helpful guy he is, explains about field power bonuses.*
Weevil: If you just look around, then you will see that this area is an exact replica of our surrounding environment -- one part wasteland and one part forest. And what thrives in the forest? Bugs!
Yami: And what thrives in the wasteland?
Téa: Uh, nothing? I mean, isn't that why it's called a waste land?
Joey: Nah, Téa. See, they're using a different logic than us.
Tristan: Right, duelist logic.
*Scene: Sly insult time.*
Weevil: I guess you just weren't listening when Pegasus said that this tournament would have exciting new surprises in store for us.
Yami: *nods* True, I was trying to figure out how to rescue my grampa.
Weevil: Well, that's hardly... er... uhh... ...I have nothing to say to that.
*Scene: Same.*
Weevil: I guess you just weren't listening when Pegasus said that this tournament would have exciting new surprises in store for us.
Yami: Heh. Doesn't seem very exciting or surprising if you know it all already.
*Scene: Weevil's monster starts to fall apart at the seams.*
Yami: Take a look at your ferocious Killer Needle now.
Weevil: What?!
Téa: Oookay. Anybody care to explain the time delay?
Tristan: Uh, I guess each monster gets destroyed on its player's turn, and it had been Yugi's turn all that time.
Joey: Sounds good t'me.
*Scene: Round one over, two monsters down.*
Yami: Looks like my Mammoth got a field power bonus from the wasteland area just like your bugs do from the forest.
Téa: Convenient how he just happened to play that card, isn't it?
*Scene: NOT a silent film.*
Yami: I kept wondering about something on the boat ride here, Weevil. Why were we travelling to some remote island just to duel?
Joey: Gee, I always just thought it was because property was too expensive back home.
*Scene: It all comes together in a neat little package.*
Yami: What makes this island so special is that it contains every type of field imaginable.
Téa: That's going a bit far. Does it have swamp, tundra, lava, rainforest...
Joey: Alright already! We get the point!
*Scene: Weevil will not be daunted.*
Weevil: Figuring out one rule won't be enough. There are surprises hidden under every rock, and I know them all.
Yami: Are any but this one useful?
Weevil: Er... well... no.
Yami: Thought so.
*Scene: Music video.*
Your move
It's time to duel and there's no backing down
*Weevil backs away from Yami, trips over the railing, falls down to the ground, and lands flat on his back.*
Téa: *winces* That's gotta hurt.
Your move
In the cards is where magic is found
Yami: Amulets for all my loyal supporters! *spins cards down to the Joey, Tristan, and Téa* Luck for you, Protection for you, and Fertility for you.
*The male cheerleaders promptly restrain Téa.*
Yu-Gi-Oh
He's the King of Games
Yami: Living in Truth, the King of Upper and Lower Egypt, Lord of the Two Lands...
Téa: Uhh... What is he doing?
Tristan: *scratches head* I think he's reciting his titles.
Joey: Freaky!
Téa: I guess it would be hard to be just "King of Games."
Yami: ...the Son of Re, Great in his Duration, Living for Ever and Always, Unique one of Re...
*Scene: Quite a fair bit further along in the game.*
Weevil: You amateur. You think I'm beaten just 'cause you squashed some bugs? *Yami gasps* Well, you'll think again, Yugi, as I attack you with this! *plays the Larva Moth* ...well, I mean, after I morph it.
Yami: Then it's not really a Larva Moth anymore, is it?
*Scene: Weevil plays the Cocoon of Evolution.*
Weevil: Isn't it beautiful?!
Yami: Eugh.
Téa: Ew, that's just gross.
Joey: According to everybody else here, that's a big "no." *thumbs down*
*Scene: More admiration of the super-gross card.*
Weevil: Behold my Cocoon of Evolution! *cackles like a chipmunk* Within that Cocoon sits my tiny little Larva Moth, and over the next five turns he will undergo a startling transformation from harmless caterpillar to unstoppable Great Moth!
Tristan: Isn't evolution supposed to take millennia?
Yami: Looking at you, I'd say much longer.
*Scene: Weevil mimes how the Cocoon of Evolution works, complete with mothering and wing-flapping gestures.*
Yami: Are you okay?
Weevil: Wheeheeheehee... Never better! *cackles*
Tristan: I hope Pegasus has some trauma counselors down at the dock.
*Scene: Yami gets a little scared.*
Yami: *thinking* If what Weevil says is true, I'd better act fast.
Weevil: *thinking* Little does Yugi know that the Moth takes but three turns to evolve. He will still be only preparing his attack when it breaks forth! Mwahahahahahahaha!
*Note: The Evil Overlord List (http://www.eviloverlord.com/). Read it. Live it. Be it.*
*Scene: Time to play a card.*
Yami: Gaia the Fierce Knight, shatter that cocoon!
*Poor Gaia, however, fails.*
Joey: Ahh! The field power bonus makes it too strong!
Yami: I guess I should have known that from the point display here, huh?
*Scene: After Weevil's clock impression.*
Weevil: Just four more turns until my ultimate insect emerges, then you can stop worrying about how you're going to destroy it and start worrying about how it's going to destroy you! *cackles*
Yami: *thinks* Maybe I should prepare a defense in case I really can't stop that thing. *plays the Beaver Warrior*
Weevil: *surprised* Or you can start worrying now. Even better!
*Scene: Yami attacks with the Curse of Dragon and a magic card.*
Weevil: What do you think you're doing? You know your little firefly can't hurt my Cocoon! *Yami chuckles* What's so funny?
Yami: Whoever said I was aiming at your Cocoon?
Weevil: If not, your Dragon had really bad aim, because that's what it hit.
*Scene: Yami's Burning Land magic card fried up the landscape.*
Weevil: No forest?! That means I lose my field power bonus!
Joey: *quips* Doesn't he mean "forest power bonus?"
Téa: Laaaaame....
*Scene: Gaia the Fierce Knight cracks open the Cocoon, but, sadly, does not kill the Larva Pupa.*
Yami: But I thought it took five turns.
Weevil: *laughs* So you stopped him one turn early. He's still strong enough to beat you.
Téa: Huh. I would have thought he'd be deformed... wingless, or something.
Joey: Well, you know how these things work, Téa.
Téa: *sighs* Right, right.
*Scene: Idle banter.*
Yami: You may have gotten your prized monster on the field, Weevil, but I'll still find a way to squash that oversized bug!
Weevil: Ha! You'll pay for that stinging jab with your life points!
Tristan: Gee, I didn't think it was that good an insult.
Joey: Yeah, but no need to insult da freaky guy up there.
*Scene: More of that.*
Weevil: You'll pay for that stinging jab with your life points!
Yami: Duel!
*The cheerleaders sweatdrop.*
Joey: That was... random...
*Scene: Yami follows his own advice and plays.*
Yami: If I have two compatible monsters on the field, I can use my polymerization card and fuse them into one ultimate creature.
Weevil: I'm not some beginner. I know what fusion does.
Yami: Then you must know it increases my attack points. My fused Dragon/Knight combo is now powerful enough to go head-to-head with your Great Moth.
Weevil: And you must know that a tie here will not help you win this duel.
Yami: I do.
Weevil: Good. Then we're both well-informed about the rules of the game.
Yami: Glad to hear it.
*Scene: Gaia the Dragon Champion would rather like to take a sick day right about now.*
Yami: My Knight -- he's losing points, and fast. But how, and why?
Weevil: *laughs* It's poison, Yugi. Poison particles from my Great Moth. Each time it flaps its mighty wings, it releases tons of tiny toxic particles. And your precious Dragon/Knight combo is being poisoned by their deadly touch.
Téa: Run-on sentences, fragments, and alliteration are for experienced orators only, guys!
Yami: I'm not experienced? How can you get more experienced than I am?
Joey: By not having people worship you whatever you say.
Yami: *glances at the crowd of prostrate fangirls* That can happen?
*Scene: Weevil continues to offer those helpful comments he's so known for.*
Weevil: Looks like my poison particles are taking their toll, Yugi.
Yami: You're just realizing that after how many hundreds of points? Ten? Twelve?
*Scene: Yami plays Magical Mist.*
Weevil: Great Moth, Tornado of Doom!
Yami: *shocked that Weevil would actually attack* Huh?!
Weevil: A direct hit! *laughs* Your little rainstorm didn't save you from that one, now did it?
Yami: Yeah... that really was a rather useless card...
*Scene: Yami stands around laughing after Gaia gets fried.*
Weevil: Hey! Hey! What are you so happy about?!
Yami: Same thing you've been panicking about, I guess.
*Scene: The start of the big ending.*
Yami: Weevil, I know it will be very difficult for you to accept losing a duel, especially after spending so much time finding inventive ways to cheat, but if you thought bending the rules would help you win this match, you're wrong.
Joey: Seems to me they weren't really that inventive.
Téa: Or that it was "bending," not "breaking."
*Scene: A quick lecture.*
Yami: You play dishonestly, so you expect the same of your opponents, but I duel with honor, Weevil, and that makes all the difference.
Joey: I'd think that bein' the King of Games and magical and all that would help some, too.
Yami: I suppose. I've had that for so long I almost take it for granted by now.
*Scene: Yami plays his Summoned Skull.*
Yami: I hope you're in the mood for some fireworks, Weevil, because all this water boosts my monster's electrical attack by one thousand points.
Weevil: Nah, those fireworks Pegasus used earlier were good enough for me.
*Scene: Closer, closer...*
Weevil: *thinking* Ha! Yugi must be losing it. His Summoned Skull is strong, but my Great Moth is stronger still.
Yami: *chuckles* There's something you've overlooked, Weevil.
Weevil: Dah! How do you know?!
Joey: It always freaks me out when he does that, too.
*Scene: The final blow.*
Yami: Summoned Skull, Lightning Strike! *the Great Moth gets struck, crackles with electricity, then falls to the ground in a burning heap* It's over. I've won.
Téa: *looks at the Great Moth with some disgust* It's still impressively green for something that burned so brightly.
Tristan: I guess Kaiba didn't think to program in a charred-to-a-crisp image.
*Scene: Duel over, everyone gathers down below.*
Weevil: *on the ground, wailing and cringing* But I'm the regional champion! The regional champion!
Yami: You call yourself a champion, Weevil, but you only won your duels through lying and cheating.
Weevil: But you saw me on TV! That was a fair match! I didn't cheat!
Joey: He has a point there...
Yami: Uh, well... You suck, anyway.
*Scene: Yami puts his new star chips in his glove with great satisfaction.*
Yami: There. Three star chips so far. But I still need to win seven more. Ten star chips will gain me entry into that castle, where they're holding my grandfather prisoner and where I'll battle Pegasus once and for all!
Yugi: Um, is there any chance I can come out now, please?
Yami: I don't see why. If I'm going to be winning the bread around here, shouldn't I get some perks out of it?
Yugi: But it's my body!
Yami: You want to duel yourself? Fine. *mentally steps aside*
Yugi: No, no! You can stay!
Yami: *smirks* I love this job.