Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ The Night Before ( Chapter 26 )
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 09.30.2002 | Updated On: 10.24.2002 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.6K | Visits: 732 | Status: Completed
*Author's Note: I'm going to try to make this quick, since I really want to get to bed so I can see the new YGO in the morning without being all zonked out. That just seems too much of a shame, don't you think?
Farla - Actually, if you ever listen to American pop music and pay attention to the lyrics, you'll quickly notice that they make absolutely no sense whatsoever, and are actually quite meaningless. And as for the first season not being brought over, that's fine by me. Sure, it looks like it was rather spiffy, but as it was unrelated to what we're watching right now, I can certainly understand the dubbers wanting to go with something that wasn't cancelled, if only so that they can keep showing it because it's continuing to be produced. Oh, and I think Yami basically tries to imitate Yugi as much as possible, so the idiotic cheerleaders don't actually drown in their own ignorance.
SoulBonded - Oh, I like your reviews, they just... scare me with their impressive longness.
PDM - What are you TALKING about? Of course you should email As If! ideas to me! Everyone should email As If! ideas to me! Emailing As If! ideas to me is the best way for As If! ideas to show up in As If!! Honestly, I don't know WHAT I was smoking if I said that.
My final note is that I would VERY much like reviews on this chapter. I personally think it's one of my funniest (and I normally don't think they're funny at all, when I'm writing them), which of course has me all paranoid and worrying that it is, therefore, not funny at all. So any comments on this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!*
*Scene: Massive amounts of eating.*
Croquet: On behalf of Mr. Maximillion Pegasus, I'd like to congratulate the four finalists and welcome them to this final phase of the Duelist Kingdom competition. I would also like to advise the non-duelists that if they don't stop eating so much, they will be thrown off the island.
*Scene: Bombshell.*
Croquet: I trust you all have your playoff entry cards.
Joey: Huh? AGAIN with stuff you didn't tell us to bring?!
Bakura: Fortunately for you all, I stole lots of these things before! *tosses a couple of each type to everybody*
Yugi: Huh? What did you steal these for, Bakura?
Bakura: *shrugs and taps chest* Yami thought they'd be useful somehow. Or that they were pretty. One never knows.
Yugi: Your Yami is insane.
Bakura: Don't I know it!
*Scene: More talking.*
Croquet: In your invitation to the Duelist Kingdom, you received these two cards: Glory of the King's Hand and Glory of the King's Opposite Hand.
Tristan: Who NAMES these things?! And was English his fifth language, or his sixth?
*Scene: I really don't think anybody ever reads this line...*
Croquet: To make tomorrow's tournament interesting, your host has added a special ingredient to your soup.
*Magically, a bunch of golden eyes pop up at their proper cue.*
Téa: *irrationally* Ugh, it's staring at me!
Tristan: Hey, mine's eyeball free.
Bakura: Mine, too. *sighs* Pity...
*Scene: Yugi vs Mai, Joey vs Keith.*
Joey: Alright, it's payback for trapping us in that cave!
Keith: Once I crush you, you'll wish you were still in that cave.
Bakura: Oh, come on, even I know that's too melodramatic.
*Scene: Pegasus sits looking out at the sunset, sipping wine.*
Pegasus: Hmm. So it has begun. *chuckles*
Kemo: But sir, the selection process began months ago, then there were the championships, and even this tournament's been going on for days...
Pegasus: Oh, go throw yourself off a cliff.
*Scene: Joey and Tristan look pregnant, they've eaten so much.*
Téa: I can't believe you ate the entire eyeball soup.
Bakura: I know! They didn't let me have even a sip.
*Scene: Some of us presumed that you could only either face Pegasus or get the prize.*
Yugi: The rules never said we needed both cards to compete, so we each only need one.
Téa: Haven't you ever heard that "lack of evidence is not evidence of a lack?"
Mai: *yawns* Oh, shut up.
*Scene: Yugi tries to talk Joey into taking the card.*
Yugi: Joey, think about the odds. If we're both in the tournament, it doubles our chances of winning the entire thing.
Téa: What?! No it doesn't! Obviously, only one of you can win, and so only one card could possibly be used! You're changing the chances from 25% to 0!
Tristan: I really think you need to get some sleep, Yugi.
Joey: Seriously, man.
*Scene: In Téa's room.*
Téa: *thinking* The one night I get to sleep in a decent bed, and I'm wide awake.
*There's a knock on the door.*
Téa: Huh? Who is it? *opens the door* Oh, hi guys. Sorry, but you'll have to come back later -- I'm already with a customer.
*Scene: Er, slightly less dirty than that, actually. Still, good thing she was fully dressed, isn't it?*
Téa: What's up, guys?
Tristan: Trouble, Téa.
Bakura: Tristan thinks Pegasus cheats in all his duels.
Tristan: Well, he does!
Téa: *patiently* Yes, Tristan. We know he does.
*Scene: They talk about the afternoon's duel.*
Tristan: No-one can beat Kaiba that easily, at least not playing fair and square.
Bakura: Well, we know that, although Kaiba has the strongest cards available to the public, Pegasus has the strongest cards, period.
Tristan: Your logic just makes this no fun at all, you know that?
*Scene: Bakura looks as though this is only mildly more pleasant a way to spend his night than some he's known.*
Tristan: I'm telling you the truth, Pegasus is as bogus as a $3.00 bill. He's a punk! You can't trust that guy.
Téa: Who was planning to?
*Scene: The stupidest plan ever.*
Tristan: We'll find out how Pegasus cheated. There has to be some clue down at the dueling platform.
Bakura: Oh, bloody hell! You're all a bunch of blasted morons! That's it, I'm going evil again! *stalks off*
*Scene: A momentary presumption of going along with the plan.*
Bakura: With all the guards everywhere, we'll need help from Yugi and Joey.
Tristan: No, they have to rest for the tournament.
Téa: Hey, I need my rest, too! Cheerleading is hard work!
*Scene: Yugi, being a complete and utter moron, sleeps with his Puzzle hanging on the coatrack. It seems SOMEONE trusts Pegasus...*
Grandpa: *ghostly* Yugi, I must speak with you...
Yugi: Grandpa, where are you?!
Grandpa: Follow my voice...
Yugi: That didn't answer my question, and besides, we seem to be talking here just fine. Do you really want your favorite grandson wandering around outside at night?
*Scene: Since Mai's prescience turned out to be so accurate, Téa guesses it may be what Pegasus was doing.*
Tristan: I once spoke to a psychic. The lady said I'll have a nice girlfriend within six months. I've been gay since I was twelve.
*Scene: Téa spots something.*
Bakura: What's wrong, Téa?
Téa: Look!
Bakura: Tristan, your back.
Tristan: Hmm? Something on my back? *gets bitten on the neck by a little, colorful snake* Yeah, I'd say there's something on my back... *falls over, twitching*
*Scene: Tristan's amazing level of non-freakiness turned out to be appropriate.*
Téa: Isn't that strange?
Bakura: How can moonlight enter this room? I mean, wasn't the moon destroyed back in Yugi's duel with Mako?
*Scene: Tristan climbs up on the very high, slanty doorway arch over the nice, long drop.*
Bakura: What do you see?
Tristan: There's a tower right across the courtyard. And isn't it convenient that the window faces in this exact direction?
Téa: Well, it's all right angles, so not really.
*Scene: The "goon in the tower" theory.*
Téa: Pegasus could be hiding a receiver under his hair.
Bakura: Yes, or perhaps that odd, golden eye that he pulled back his hair to reveal every time he wanted to use its magical powers, such as Yugi has been saying for the past few weeks...
*Scene: "They" decide to trek over to the tower.*
Bakura: Aah! What about the guards?!
Tristan: You'll be safe with me.
Bakura: Um, well, uh... I'm afraid of heights!
Tristan: We've been nothing BUT high places since you joined us.
Bakura: Er... It's all dark and scary out there! Surely we could wait for morning...
Tristan: Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of ghosts or something!
Bakura: Umm... well, uhh... I'm a werewolf, you see, so you really don't want me going out into that courtyard with the full moon! Right! See ya! *runs back to his room, while Tristan and Téa look after with amusement*
*Scene: Wandering the castle.*
Téa: Oh, this castle's like a maze!
Tristan: Shh, keep it down. There's goons around that corner.
Bakura: There's goons around every corner!!
Téa: Actually, guys, that's just an empty suit of armor, there, further along the curve.
*Scene: If you're going to trespass, you might as well steal.*
Tristan: Hey! Look at what I found. *snags a grappling hook off the wall*
Bakura: What's that for?
Tristan: I'm planning on strangling you with it the next time you insult my plans.
*Scene: Yugi, now Puzzle-wearing, finds Grandpa's card.*
Grandpa: Pegasus wields Shadow Powers of incredible strength, but stronger than anyone could have imagined...
Yugi: But how? How is that possible?
Grandpa: People have very bad imaginations...
*Scene: Téa proves that high-heels are never good for subterfuge.*
Téa: I can't believe your plan is to enter the tower from the outside.
Tristan: Yep. Much easier than finding a dimensional rift and entering it from the inside, in my opinion.
*Scene: Please don't tell me that none of you were thinking about how strange it was for Bakura to be up on that very high ledge.*
Tristan: You wanted to avoid all the guards. I don't see goons up here.
Téa: Yes, and fortunately we won't have to deal with them when we fall to our deaths, either!
Bakura: Oh, that IS a relief!
*Scene: Back to Yugi, whose Puzzle looks rather varnished.*
Yugi: Grandpa, tell me, how can Pegasus's Shadow Magic still be growing in power?
Grandpa: Every soul he traps in the Shadow Realm increases his strength.
Yugi: *punches the ground* He's got to be stopped!
Grandpa: And here I thought you were trying to rescue me out of love, not military stratagems. I'm hurt!
*Scene: Grandpa's soul card takes flight and lands on a monolith.*
Yugi: No! Kaiba! Grandpa! Mokuba?
Mokuba: *sarcastic* Starting to see a pattern here?
*Scene: At the 'liths.*
Yugi: This is wrong. This is terrible.
Yami: What, it is now but it wasn't before?
*Scene: Still there.*
Kaiba: Save me, Yugi.
Mokuba: Save me, Yugi!
Yugi: Heyyy, I thought Pegasus said you were trapped in different dimensions! How can you hear each other?
Kaiba: Uhh... we're, umm...
Mokuba: Magical!
*Scene: Tristan tosses up the grappling hook.*
Tristan: All right. Téa, take the lead, and we'll follow you. That way, if the rope was really just for show and breaks, we'll be safe.
*Tristan gets whacked.*
*Scene: Same.*
Tristan: Téa, take the lead, and we'll follow you. That way, in case you lose your grip and fall off, one of us can catch you.
*Téa starts up.*
Tristan: Okay, you next, Bakura.
Bakura: Huh? What for?
Tristan: I don't particularly feel like having to explain to Yugi that you "accidentally" slipped and fell.
*Scene: If it were the other way around.*
Tristan: Téa, take the lead, and we'll follow you. That way, in case you lose your grip and fall off, one of us can catch you.
*Téa starts to climb up, and then Bakura takes a hold of the rope.*
Tristan: Ohhh, no you don't! I'm only catching people who fall by accident.
*Scene: Pegasus's method of trapping people in cards makes straight-out murder rather pointless.*
Yugi: Why is Pegasus after me?
Grandpa: Pegasus unlocked tremendous magic with his single Millennium Item. How much power do you think he will wield if he has your Puzzle?
Kaiba: Oh, come on, do you really think this is the time to be trying to instruct a dimwit like him using questions?
*Scene: Millennium power rocks.*
Grandpa: Just as Pegasus learned to harness the magic of his Millennium Eye, you must also learn to control the power of your own Millennium Item.
Yugi: My Puzzle?
Mokuba: *sarcastic* No, your buckles! God!
*Scene: Continuing the conversation.*
Yugi: But how?
Grandpa: That you must discover on your own.
Yami: Or you could just, say, ask me. I might not know everything, but at least I've been living in it for the past five millennia.
*Scene: The most bizarre blue fire springs up.*
Grandpa: Whatever it takes, Pegasus must be defeated. If he wins, with his unlimited Shadow Powers and the magic of the Millennium Items, he can unleash Armageddon upon the world!
Yugi: Well, maybe he believes that with great power comes great responsibility. I mean, pretty much anyone could beat me up, but not, er, everyone does.
*Scene: Since Bakura has been insulting Tristan's plans from the start, he sees little reason to help with them.*
Bakura: Who do you suppose this is?
Tristan: Huh? Whoa. That's a mighty big painting.
Bakura: Yes, something that doesn't help convince me that your searching skills are excellent.
*Scene: Discussion of who the painting could be of, since the mysterious turning-on of the lights quickly got boring.*
Bakura: She must be very important to Pegasus.
Téa: But I haven't seen her at all since we're been in the castle.
Bakura: Well, maybe she's dead. Lots of people have pictures of their mothers around.
*Scene: Nobody bothers thinking about the fact that lights would make the room very visible to all the guards.*
Téa: Do you think it's Pegasus's wife?
Tristan: *sarcastic* Oh, yeah, because people never keep their wives around.
Bakura: Well, maybe went and trapped her soul in a painting rather than a card! You know, as a mark of his esteem and all.
*Everyone looks at Bakura rather oddly.*
*Scene: Same.*
Téa: Do you think it's Pegasus's wife?
Tristan: Eww, lots of little Pegasuses running around. Bad mental image, Téa!
*Scene: Our favorite vision in red shows up.*
Pegasus: Isn't it past your bedtimes?
Tristan: Well, yes, but it's amazing how extreme sports wakes one up.
*Scene: The most idiotic scene in the episode.*
Tristan: We're onto you, Pegsy. Listen up! You've been spying on Kaiba's cards from up here. The jig is up. Why don't you just admit it?
Pegasus: You break into my private sanctuary through the window and accuse me of wrongdoing? Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to silence you before you could get back to your little friends?
Bakura: I've said it before, and I'll say it one last time before I die -- your plans are horrible.
*Scene: Somehow, Tristan remains spokesman.*
Pegasus: I'm afraid you three have seen too much.
Tristan: What do you mean?
Téa: Yeah, we haven't seen anything! We're completely ignorant!
Bakura: And stupid, too!
*Scene: Pegasus uses his snazzy Eye to turn the floor to oil, or something.*
Tristan: *gasps* What's going on?
Bakura: Wild guess, but maybe the exact same thing he's been doing ever since we met him?!
*Scene: The cheerleaders awaken to chanting.*
Tristan: Let's go check it out.
Bakura: But why?
Tristan: Must you always criticize my plans?!
Bakura: I'll stop as soon as you stop suggesting wandering around in tombs looking for priests rather than exits!
*Scene: Hiding in the middle of an opening hallway.*
Tristan: Who are these clowns? What do you think they're up to?
Téa: Considering that they're beseeching the "Realm of Shadows in this twilight hour" to "accept these souls and grant us power"... maybe it has, I don't know, something to do with evil and death??
*Scene: Pegasus crushes and blasts his opponent, making the cheerleaders gasp.*
Robed Men: What? *glide to the doorway*
Tristan: You know, that would be a lot more frightening if they weren't so obviously just mannequins being moved by machinery under the floor.
*Scene: At the equally creepy monoliths.*
Grandpa: Unlock the secret of the Millennium Puzzle. Only then can you defeat Pegasus!
Yugi: Geez, first I have to put it together, now I have to unlock its secret... this thing is causing me no end of trouble!
Yami: You and me both.
*Scene: Yugi wakes up in his snazzy, golden room.*
Yugi: *panting sobs* It was all just a dream. Or was it? *flops back on the bed in a fit of über-cute symbolism*
Yami: *drowsily* Wild guess, but yes. And could you try to refrain from the nightmares? They're a little loud for my taste.
*Scene: A random eye-shot of Bakura can mean only one thing.*
Pegasus: This is how the Shadow Games were played thousands of years ago.
Yami Bakura: *grumbles* Yeah, those stupid up-start pharaohs...
Téa: Oh! Is that why you keep trying to kill Yugi? You're bitter?
Yami Bakura: *shrugs* Why else?
*Scene: Explanation.*
Pegasus: These duel rituals release the magic of the Shadow Realm, and every soul I trap there increases the power of my Millennium Eye.
Téa: *blinks* But you trapped Kaiba and Mokuba without having to duel, or do rituals, or anything!
Bakura: *tugs nervously on Téa's sleeve* I might be suicidal, but only so I don't have something like this happen to me, so could you please be quiet??
*Scene: Pegasus is more than willing to share his diabolical schemes... ...er, they ARE diabolical, right?*
Pegasus: You can't imagine the strength of my magic, but one power still eludes me -- the ability to control life over death!
Bakura: Oh, good! That's the right direction to go!
Téa: Anybody want to guess that the big painting over the altar has something to do with this?
Tristan: Oh, come on, that would be too obvious...
*Scene: Pegsy needs more souls.*
Pegasus: It's not my fault. I can't simply allow you to escape after you've snooped around my castle and learned my secrets.
Téa: Gee, you'd think that would have been easily preventable... even ignoring the magic that is locks, how about just not telling us??
*Scene: Lovely, lovely scene.*
Pegasus: And my dear Bakura, your capture will do more than strengthen my Shadow Powers, for I shall also gain control of your Millennium Ring!
Bakura: What? You want it? Take it! For the love of god, TAKE IT!
*Scene: The Ring glows all prettily.*
Yami Bakura: *sinister laugh* Change of plans.
Pegasus: Can this be?! I sense a dark soul within your Ring!
Téa: *cowering behind Tristan* I, for one, would say that it's not within the Ring anymore!
*Scene: Blinding light from both Items.*
Yami Bakura: You may indeed sense me now, but you won't remember any of this later. Erase their minds!
*After everything calms down, only Bakura is left standing.*
Bakura: *sighs* Couldn't you have at least let them get back to their rooms, first? Now we have to carry them all the way back.
Yami Bakura: Oh, shut up, or I'll make you carry them by yourself!
*Scene: Same. Idea thanks to the ever-insightful Tasaki.*
Yami Bakura: Erase their minds!
Bakura: *sweatdrops* You've been listening to them. Don't you think their minds have been erased enough already?
*Scene: Back in bed.*
Tristan: Ohh... Oh, my head, it hurts. Who knew that falling several stories and getting repeatedly knocked out would be so painful?
*Scene: Apparently they ALL sleep fully dressed.*
Téa: What a horrible nightmare. But was it a dream? It seemed so... so real. I feel, I feel like something terrible's going to happen. I mean, I know how irritable I am without my beauty sleep, and if Tristan and Bakura didn't get any, either, the cheering section will be useless!
*Scene: Another bedroom.*
Yami Bakura: *more sinister laughter* You cannot hide from me, Pegasus. Your Millennium Eye will soon be mine.
Bakura: Seems rather like shooting fish in a barrel, doesn't it? I mean, he isn't even trying to hide. *slight pause* And you're so much more powerful than he is, too.
Yami Bakura: *drolly* Nice save.
*Scene: Behind door number four, where Bandit Keith is stealing Joey's card. Guess he has a thing for Mai.*
Joey: Hey! Let go of dat! That's my pizza... *snores*
Bandit Keith: *blinks* Hentai is one thing, but THAT is just disturbing.
*Scene: A color-coordinated room.*
Mai: I've done it! This strategy is perfect. Sorry, Yugi, but your next duel is your last. But why do I get the feeling I've heard him say that before?
*Scene: The last stop on our tour.*
Yugi: *thinking* That wasn't any ordinary dream. That was an extra-freaky dream!
*Scene: Yugi sits staring out at the sun, at least this time through glass.*
Yugi: I know Grandpa was trying to send me a message from the Shadow Realm. But what is the secret to my Millennium Puzzle? How do I control it? I still don't know, and I'm running out of time!
Yami: Ever consider that the trick is in not controlling it? I'm not here just for show, you know!