Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ Duel Identity, Pt. 2 ( Chapter 28 )
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 09.30.2002 | Updated On: 10.24.2002 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.8K | Visits: 648 | Status: Completed
*Author's Note: PLEASE READ THIS!!! As If! is also posted up on my website -- DarkGatomon's Lair at http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/darkgatomon -- and although it is generally updated less frequently than it is here, if it became As If!'s only home, then it WOULD be updated regularly. There. That eases my mind a bit. Thank you! You can skim done to the fic now, if you want.
For those of you that DO want to read this note, I might as well mention that this chapter will probably be revamped as soon as I can get a taping of this episode that includes audio. I'm sure I got some of who-was-saying-what-how wrong, and Yugi and Yami I just had to entirely guess on. If tomorrow's eps are messed up this way, too, I just don't know what I'll do. Although buying a new VCR mightn't be the worst idea, huh?
Now, reviews.
PDM - I ALWAYS save my reviews, actually. But thanks for the suggestion, anyway! I'd hate to lose all the nice notes everybody's left me.
Star - I've given up on posting serious stories as they're being written, because I keep wanting to change the plot and everything as I go along. My planned YGO fic is currently on its third re-writing, in its entirety, at least. This, however, is a little different, since it's so nicely stand-alone.
Mystic Piper - a) What a silly person you are! Reading this fic is a privilege? Ha! I scoff at that! I'm just a crazy little loon writing this thing because it's an excuse to share my rantings with people, since I know no-one IRL that watches anime. It's not my fault that everybody else is just as crazy and actually reads the thing.
And b) You can be sure that I'll get to the old episodes as soon as I can. I just find the new episodes more fun to write, since I'm already thinking about them. The old ones WILL get done, though.
Lizzie - LOL!! That is too funny. I'm gonna post it up here, so everybody can see...
~~~~~~
*Scene: The end of Duel Identity, Pt. 1.*
Yami: Yugi, let me help you! If you continue to hold me back, everybody loses!
Mai: *waves her arms at him* Um... hate to break it to you kid, but if he continues to hold you back, I win...
Yami: *grumbles* Stop being so technical about it! I'm trying to guilt-trip my aibou into letting me duel...
Yugi: *sweatdrops* You do realize you just said that out loud, right?
Yami: ...durn it.
~~~~~~
Well, that's it, folks! Go and enjoy the chapter (I hope)!*
*Scene: Yugi continues to freak out muchly, in regards to his snazzo Puzzle.*
Pegasus: I sense much conflict. Instead of embracing the power of his Millennium Item, he seems to be struggling against its forces.
Téa: *hopefully* Well, maybe he's not gay!
*Scene: The cheerleaders are being a little slow.*
Tristan: What's the problem, Yugi?
Téa: Mai is. She's gone and put aside all her silly card tricks and played this duel flawlessly.
Joey: That's just totally unfair!
Bakura: *mockingly playing along* Oh, yes! She should be disqualified for it!
Joey: *totally oblivious* Yeah! She should!
*The others sweatdrop.*
*Scene: Correction, a LOT slow.*
Joey: Could it be that it was just sheer, dumb luck that I beat her before?
Téa: Uhh.. isn't that what we've been figuring all along?
Tristan: Well, that and Yugi.
Bakura: I'm frankly still surprised you're counting it as your victory at all!
*Scene: Mai, getting bored of trying psychiatry on Yugi, switches to her favorite daydream vision.*
Joey: I made it this far 'cause I got my friends Yugi and Tristan and Téa and Bakura behind me.
Bakura: *mentally* I'm his friend? Wow. Doesn't that make you want to, I don't know, be nice to them, or something?
Yami Bakura: Not particularly, no.
*Scene: Joey's got a point.*
Mai: You also have the guts to look inside and face up to what you saw there. You looked your demons in the eye and dealt with them. And that's a lesson everyone should learn.
Joey: I did that?
Mai: That's right.
Joey: Wow. And here I thought I was just being too dumb to give up.
*Scene: Although Mai was nice enough to give Yugi a little break to think, she, unlike Kaiba, has better things to do with her time than stand around all day.*
Mai: So, Yugi, have you faced up to your fears? Whatever freaked you out in your battle with Kaiba, have you come to grips with it?
Yugi: Sure have, and dealt with it, too! Been thirty hours, and not a single killing!
*Scene: Yugi sits disconsolately on the marble floor of what he calls his mind.*
Yugi: No matter how badly I need to rescue Grandpa, hurting someone else is something I will not do.
Yami: I meant no harm. I only wanted to help, and I vow never to go against your wishes again.
Yugi: Well... Okay, then. I'll sit down with you later and draw up a full contract. I have a tendency to get knocked out and be unavailable for consult, after all.
Yami: *horrified* CONTRACT?
*Scene: Same, this time by the Light 'n' Dark Pharaohs.*
Yami: *turns around and holds out his hand* You shouldn't be sitting on the gr...
Yugi: *bolts up and starts babbling* You were, and me, not dead, standing behind me, and, and... *CRASH!*
Yami: *looking down at Yugi, who is on the ground twitching* Note to self: Don't sneak up on unsuspecting lights.
*Scene: Since Yami now has Yugi's full trust, how long before he stops being "Yami Yugi" and becomes "Yami Moto?" At the Yugis'.*
Yugi: *blissfully* Hi mom! Hi dad! I want you to meet somebody! His name's Yami, and he's the spirit that was living in my Millennium Puzzle. He used to be a little strange, but he's okay now, and in fact, we're getting married next week!
Yami: *standing behind Yugi with a look of self-loathing* I can't believe I actually let myself in for this... Oh god, oh god, oh god...
*Scene: With Yugi now undeniably the dominant partner, the duel can go on.*
Yami: You're right, I was holding back, but not any longer.
Mai: Hmm, you're a little late to the party, Yugi.
Yami: Ah, but only fashionably late.
*Scene: Yami is about to draw, but is stopped by that annoying little voice in his head.*
Yugi: Just remember, you promised we'd do this my way, right?
Yami: Yes, I did.
Yugi: Good. Just making sure.
Yami: *taps fingers against the deck* You done yet? Because I'm not drawing until you are.
Yugi: I dunno. I kinda like talking to you like this. Hey, do you like sock puppets? I like sock puppets -- I think they're cute. I once had this sock puppet named "Bob." That was a great sock puppet...
*Yami sits down heavily on the ground with a sigh while Yugi paces, yattering and gesturing animatedly.*
*Scene: Yami is finally allowed to draw.*
Yami: I play the magic card Brain Control.
Mai: Brain Control? What is that?
Joey: Brain Control -- controls brains? Dum dum.
Yami: Almost as good as the Millennium Rod!
*Scene: Mai's ignorance is almost understandable.*
Yami: With this card, I can brainwash one enemy monster and control it for a turn.
Téa: Pity he couldn't use it to control one of his own monsters. That Shadow of Eyes thing is annoying!
*Scene: Harpy's Pet Dragon is the monster of choice.*
Mai: *laughs* Even under Brain Control, Harpy's Pet Dragon won't attack her master.
Yami: I know that, Mai.
Téa: Then why was he so startled the first time she said it?
Joey: Umm... suspense?
*Scene: The way Yami draws would look hideous in real life. I speak from experience.*
Yami: Because I've called an attack, your Mirror Wall appears.
Téa: But I thought the Dragon wouldn't attack Harpy Lady!
Bakura: *starts singing* I know what I know / I'll since what I said / All logic must go / 'Cause when it comes to dueling, you know it's already fled...
*Everyone looks at Bakura very, very oddly.*
*Scene: Harpy's Pet Dragon settles down onto Catapult Turtle.*
Harpy's Pet Dragon: *looks at the Mirror Wall* Aah! So that's what I look like?! Harpy always told me I was pretty!! *flies from the field, sobbing*
Mai: *shouts after her* No, no, it's... it's true! It's all in the eye of the beholder! You're beautiful! *groans and slumps against the arena*
Yami: *smirks* As you said yourself, Mai, psychology is half the game.
Mai: Yeah, yeah...
*Scene: After the attack.*
Mai: He shattered my Mirror Wall to pieces.
Bakura: But isn't that bad luck for Yugi?
Téa: *glares at him* I think Yugi can deal.
*Scene: As Pegasus realizes that Yugi is regaining his confidence.*
Yugi: If I can trust the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle, if we can really work together, then nothing can stop us!
Téa: *sniffles* Yugi wants to work with Yami. Joey needs the help of Tristan. Who's left for me?!
Bakura: Uh, me, I guess.
*Pause.*
Both: Ewww...
*Scene: With Yami having laid a card face-down before, Mai isn't sure what to do.
Mai: *thinking* This is the toughest decision I've had to make all game -- to attack or not to attack.
Yami: *oozing confidence* Bring on your assault, Mai!
Tristan: Geez, that's a little out-of-character for Yugi.
Joey: Yeah, normally he's taunting people about the risk.
Téa: Talk about overcompensating.
*Scene: Mai plays Elegant Egotist instead.*
Mai: Not bad, huh? That ends my turn, Yugi, but next time around you'll get a taste of my Ladies' claws, and I promise you won't enjoy it.
Yami: Clearly you've never seen one of my Punishment Games if that's the worst you can come up with.
*Scene: Funny only if you remember the original chapter ordering.*
Yami: For this turn, I'll activate the Monster Recovery Card, pull all my monsters back into my deck, reshuffle, and now I can draw five new cards.
Téa: What is everybody's obsession with randomly exchanging their hands?
*Scene: Yami plays the Mystical Elf in Defense.*
Yami: Shadow of Eyes may lure men into battle, but it doesn't work on female monsters.
Bakura: *offended* That seems a little bigoted!
Téa: Yeah! What if they're lesbians? Ever think about that?
*Scene: Same.*
Téa: So all those dragons and beavers and everything have genders? And they're all automatically male?
Tristan: Yeah, pretty much.
*Scene: Same same.*
Joey: I swear, Mai's deck is just as sexist as yours is, Téa!
*Joey gets whapped.*
*Scene: Bakura is a pessimist and Mai is an antagonist. Some things never change.*
Mai: Okay, so let's see where we stand. You're on the board with one measly elf, and it's my turn.
Téa: Guess she stopped trying to bolster Yugi's spirits.
Tristan: Well, you could see that as a good thing.
Joey: *sarcastic* Yeah, 'cause Mai's statement of faith is exactly what you want.
*Scene: Mai plays Monster Reborn.*
Mai: Remember Harpy's Pet Dragon? He's baaaaaack! And he gets 300 more attack points for each Harpy on the field.
Yami: Oh, no! He now has 2900 attack points.
Mai: And every single point aimed right at you. Harpy Ladies, combine your power! Exterminate Attack!
Téa: *watches the Mystical Elf get blasted and scratches head* But don't you always have to attack with your new monster?
Joey: I don't think it really matters at this point, Téa.
*Scene: Utter distress.*
Téa: She wiped out his last defense!
Bakura: Am I invisible? Has everyone forgotten my Yami already? There are scads more female cards Yugi could play!
*Scene: Gloating.*
Mai: He might as well admit it, I'm unstoppable. There's nothing he can do against my monster's attack power.
Téa: This about the guy that staved off a Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon with a Kuriboh?
*Scene: A crisis of faith.*
Yugi: What happens if I draw the wrong card? What happens to Grandpa? To Joey and his sister? And to Kaiba and Mokuba.
Yami: Whoa, back up a second there. "Joey and his sister?" They aren't your responsibility anymore, and not through any suggestion of mine, I might hastily add!
*Scene: A lot can happen while you have your eyes closed.*
Mai: Swords of Revealing Light? He actually drew Swords of Revealing Light? How can anybody be that lucky?
Téa: This about the guy that drew Exodia?
*Scene: The problem.*
Yugi: Harpy's Pet Dragon is the most powerful monster she's got.
Joey: Uh-huh. Nice how that meshes in so tightly with Harpy's Lady being the only monster she's got.
*Scene: I did a double take here, I really did. And not about the plan -- that was obvious.*
Yami: We can defeat it, but only at great risk. It involves the Black Luster Ritual, and three turns might not be enough.
Yugi: *peering over Yami's shoulder* Black Luster Ritual? What's that?
Yami: *turns his head just enough to make his bangs swish* If I can draw the correct cards, you'll see soon enough.
Yugi: *sighs and backs off* And I'm left out of this relationship again already, I see. *sits in a corner, morosely rolling one of Yami's special Sennen Eye dice*
*Scene: Yami plays the ever-cuddly Kuriboh.*
Mai: Oh. It's the attack of the giant three-toed hairball. Look, it's totally ferocious, Yugi! I think it wants to attack Harpy's Pet Dragon single-handed! *laughs*
Kuriboh: *stops growling to think* Huh? Why wouldn't I?
*Scene: Mai requires validation for her humor.*
Mai: Hmm. What, you don't think that's funny, Yugi?
Yami: It's not, Mai. You should know by now that I never laugh with people, only at them.
*Scene: Yami explains the Kuriboh's importance.*
Mai: That hairball couldn't be an important step on the way to anything, except maybe choking a cat.
Téa: Well, you did describe Harpy's Pet Dragon as a cuddly kitten earlier!
*Scene: As that is clearly a losing argument, Mai rushes on.*
Mai: Anyway, I can't attack while Swords of Revealing Light is still in play, so I draw this one card and that ends my turn.
Téa: But can't you just not attack with the old monsters, like in Kaiba's first duel with Yugi?
Boys: *clamping their hands over Téa's mouth* SHHH!!!
*Scene: A line that reminds me of Andy Richter Controls the Universe.*
Mai: But soon, you're gonna be history.
Yami: Yeah, well, I did that once, and it's not as cool as it looks. So I think I'll decline, thanks.
*Scene: Tick tock, tick tock...*
Yami: *thinking* That Kuriboh was a good start, but with just the cards I've got in my hand now, I can't initiate the Black Luster Ritual. I still need one more card... *draws* ...but this isn't the card I need! Well, there's still time... *draws again... and again...* Damn it!
Yugi: *getting boreder by the minute* I see. So this is why you wouldn't tell me your plan. Good move, Yam-Yam.
Yami: Don't call me that.
Yugi: Noo, I think I've got full right to call you whatever I want, now.
*Scene: Mai silently cheers Yugi on to impressive failure.*
Yami: This card worked for you. Monster Reborn! *plays* I use Monster Reborn to bring back Gaia, the Fierce Knight!
Téa: But I thought he returned all his monsters to the deck!
Tristan: Okay, that's it! *grabs Téa and Bakura by the arms and drags them to the other side of the room* From now on, you two get to form your own special cheerleading squad.
Téa: *flatly* Lucky us.
Bakura: *oblivious* Yippee! I'm special!
*Scene: Yami, true to form, draws the useless Winged Dragon, Flightless Fortress Guardian. ...well, there has to be some reason they're pointing out his wings, right?*
Téa: *distraught* Yugi.
Joey: Just maintain your cool, Téa.
Téa: Huh?
Joey: Relax. You can tell from the look in his eyes, he's not about to give up.
*Téa looks at Yami's eyes, and sighs dreamily.*
Bakura: *poking her repeatedly in the arm, to no avail* Now look what you've done!
*Scene: What the heck is up with what seems to me to be a perfectly normal two-tribute monster being "legendary?" And is it related to the legendary status of such mundane Pokémon as Arcanine?*
Pegasus: *thinking* Ah, I see. Very daring, Yugi-boy. You mean to attempt the legendary Black Luster Ritual.
Yami: *annoyed* I haven't drawn it yet. How come everyone can read my deck?
Yugi: I can't! What are you trying to do? What's this card? Black something? Well, it sounds like something you'd like, but...
*Yami sighs and creates the image of an African bird for Yugi to play with. Yugi chases it around his soul room, giggling happily.*
*Scene: Mai draws a second Harpy Lady, and stands around blinking for a few minutes to let the cheerleaders talk.*
Mai: My turn is over, as are the effects of your Swords of Revealing Light.
*The swords disappear, releasing her monsters.*
Harpy Lady One: *stretches* Oh, god, my back is killing me...
Harpy Lady Two: My claws are cramping something awful!
Harpy Lady Three: Ugh, and my armor was all ridden up... talk about damn uncomfortable!
*Scene: Mai relaxes, too, by taunting.*
Mai: Didn't get much help out of your three free turns, did you, Yugi?
Yami: *panicking* How the hell do you know?! Maybe it's in my hand! Yeah! Could be! You don't know anything! I can still win!!
*Scene: Yami goes to draw, but really does panic.*
Yami: *thinking* I don't think I can do this! Yugi was right!
Yugi: *bored again* The first day you decide to listen to me, and already you're listening to all the wrong things. Bravo!
*Scene: Inside Yugi's mind, still.*
Yami: I don't think I can do this! Yugi was right! Too much riding on the draw of a single card...
Yugi: Since you felt free to paraphrase my grandpa earlier, allow me to do the same: "For someone claiming to have faith, you sure suck at this, don't you?"
*Scene: This is a fun scene to write for, it turns out.*
Yugi: Ever hear of "do as I say, not as I do?" Well, for me, it's the opposite.
*Scene: Standing before the closed, card-patterned door.*
Yami: Who am I to gamble with the lives of Yugi's friends and family?
Yugi: *starting to get really irritated* The same person who's been outright killing people for the past few months now, perhaps?
*Scene: Oh my god, he has a soul!
Yami: There's too much riding on the draw of this next card. I shouldn't be risking Yugi's friends and family this way. It's... too dangerous. I can't.
Yugi: *gets fed up* We're in too far to stop now, so whatever! *pushes Yami aside and yanks open the door himself*
*Scene: Blink, little Yami!*
Yugi: We can do it, together.
Yami: Yugi?
Yugi: I'm with you, and we're not alone.
Yami: *looks around* Who the hell invited Bakura?
Bakura: Nobody. Nobody ever invites me. Do I not exist? Am I invisible? I always end up inviting myself, and I swear, you guys are the first people to ever call me on it...
*Scene: Yami closes his eyes. Again. Poor guy, he must be getting pretty tired.*
Yami: *thinking* Ah, with all of you at my side, I was foolish to lose faith. It's like you said -- you and I have to trust in each other and in the heart of the cards. And once we put our hearts in the game, there's nothing we ca...
Joey: Oh, come on, already! We're here for Yugi, not you, lil' guy. And if you don't hurry it up, then we're gonna be at a snack bar for him, soon, instead!
*Scene: One gets the feeling Pegasus is a perv.*
Pegasus: *gasps* Such power. I've never felt such tremendous strength. Never.
Yami: *slightly smug* Looks like I found my own way of getting souls, huh, Pegasus?
*Scene: Of course, Yami's allowed to be a little smug.*
Yami: *draws* Well, Mai, you've put up a good fight, but now the duel ends. Starting with this card -- Black Luster Ritual!
Yugi: What the hell? When did I get that card?
Yami: About five minutes ago, I'd say.
Yugi: YAMI!
Yami: *all innocence* Yes, Yugi? Something wrong?
*Yugi sighs.*
*Scene: A big-whoop explanation of tribute monsters, strongly reminiscent of the big-whoop explanations of magic cards and traps.*
Yami: Watch. The Black Luster Ritual works by sacrificing all of the monsters I have placed on the field.
Joey: Uh, then why didn't he leave it at just the Kuriboh?
Téa: Well, there's more to it than that, Joey! ... I hope.
*Scene: Shock all around.*
Yami: Now, Black Luster Soldier, Chaos Attack! *mentally* Hey, look at me, Yugi! I'm posing without attacking! See? See?!
Yugi: Yeah! Good job, Yami! I'm so proud of you!
*Yami beams at the praise.*
*Scene: What happens in the CCs when you name a character "Mai."*
Pegasus: *thinking* This duel is over. My spirit is broken. She's lost the will to go on.
*Note: Read it. Think about it. Take it any way you want to.*
*Scene: The Harpy Ladies mourn the loss of their pet, and their mistress with them.*
Yami: Uh... Mai? So does this mean that you surrender?
Joey: No way.
Téa: Um, what... what happened?
Bakura: Mai surrendered. When a duelist places their hand over the deck like that, it means they concede the duel.
Téa: Wow. And here I thought she was just drawing.
*Scene: The same place, by the Pharaohs.*
Bakura: When a duelist places their hand over the deck like that, it means they concede the duel.
Mai: No! Maybe I'm trying to do the whole Heart of the Cards thing. Why is it when Yugi does that no-one jumps the gun and goes, "Oh Yugi's surrendering?" Why me, huh, why me?!
Joey and Tristan: Duelist logic!
Téa: *whispers to Mai* Okay, I say we sneak up on them from behind and then stab them with the steak knives...