Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Devotion ❯ Excuses ( Chapter 12 )

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh...oh wait. Yami does wear leather and chains. Um...go Kazuki Takahashi!

Wah! It lost my italics!!!!! Damn you, QuickEdit!

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Tea, why are you doing this?

I don't need those star chips.

I don't care what Mai says.

I will never duel again.

No, I won't!

Mai, what you say...

That I need to get rid of anyone who gets in my way.

Should I?

No, I can't.

Or is it won't?

What do you do when the thing you're fighting against is some sort of magical spirit that can take control of you?

He's living inside of me.

Grandpa, I don't know what to do.

Curse you, spirit! I thought you were my friend!

Why did you...

You're right Mai, I'm not paying attention.

I'm ignoring my friend Tea when she really needs me.

What kind of friend am I?

What kind of person am I, to almost let him...

Him, or it.

What is he?

I mean, spirits possessing people are usually demons.

The one that possessed Ryou certainly seems like a demon.

So he was just pretending.

That bastard.

No, I can't seem to hate him.

Does that mean...

I'm usually a good judge of character.

I knew Joey and Tristan were good people even when they were mean to me.

Wistful thinking again.

I can't let Grandpa down.

I can't let everyone down.

I have to fix this somehow.

I can't just give up.

But what do I do?

What do I do?

Normally, when I'm stressed out, I don't have to deal with it.

Ever since I solved the puzzle, when bullies pick on me I black out and when I wake up everything's fine.

Like Ushio...

When I came to school that morning, after solving the puzzle, Ushio was playing in the dirt. I heard people say he thought the leaves were money.

The spirit did that to him, didn't he?

Destroying people's minds for hurting me?

For messing with his property?

No, it wasn't fine.

When I was stressed over schoolwork or a test, all of a sudden I would just feel like...

Confidence. Like I could do this, like everything would be fine.

That's what the spirit makes me feel when we duel...dueled.

I'm so dependant on him.

I don't know how to be strong on my own.

Strong like Tea is, facing Mai when she's seen Mai duel.

I used to be strong.

Well, a little.

I stood up to Ushio when he was beating Joey and Tristan up, didn't I?

And got beaten up myself.

Not to mention owing a lot of money unless I wanted to get beaten up again.

With a knife.

The spirit saved me from that one.

And from a whole lot of others.

It's time I saved myself.

Thank you, Tea.

You faced your fears for me.

But Mai let her win.

I can't count on the spirit letting me win.

But he did when I wanted to save Kaiba...

No! That was just surprise! I can't let myself trust him again! I can't let him hurt any more people!

I will duel again. And the consequences will not be the ones I fear.

I will fight him.

And win.

I'll show him I'm not weak, not his toy.

I will.

I'll make you proud of me, Grandpa.

I'll make you pay for what you've done, Pegasus.

I'll help you get the money for your sister, Joey.

I'll make you glad you helped me, Tea.

Thank you, Tea.

For giving me back the courage that let me survive all those years.

Games have always been my strength.

I will duel, I will win.

I just...wish I didn't have to do it alone.

I mean, my friends will be there for me, but...

Why couldn't it have been real?

Why couldn't you have been my savior?

Why did you hurt me like this?

Forget it. I don't need you.

I can do this on my own.

Right?

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Wow, that was hard. And bad. I had terminal writer's block, just couldn't think of what to say. Is it clear? Yugi's heart has already decided to trust the spirit, to duel again, he's just justifying it to himself: he's giving in, but slowly. He needs a reason to give himself to trust again. Angst, terribly?

Yami rejoicing next, to make up for the angst, then Tea, then a chapter with shorts from various characters since there isn't anyone else involved enough to warrant a whole chapter. Good? R&R! (That's my first time putting that, I feel so desperate! Ignore needy me.)